Uncensored English

Looking for a different angle on English language podcasts? Keiran the crazy Canadian goes where the other English podcasts don't... and more. Keiran and his native English guests discuss politically incorrect subjects as well as general English language, idioms, expressions, culture and more all while having natural unscripted conversations. This podcasts feature an educational exploration of language ranging from every day expressions, pop culture expressions, explicit language and anything in between. The podcast is geared towards adults students, professionals, university students as well as ESL teachers who want to step out of the "Safe Space" of the English language education community and have a little more fun. Join Keiran and his guests in their down to earth humorous conversations and learn to speak a more universal edgy form of English like a native! English ISN'T always PC!!!
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Feb 20, 2017

Today on the podcast we have a new guest come on and talk about working in Club Med, the circus, and being a single dad. Transcript to come shortly. 

***Transcript *** 


Keiran: “Alright, Hey everyone! How’s it going? Welcome to the Podcast for Monday and today we got a new guest on the Podcast, this is the guy I’ve known from the Montreal comedy scene his name is Alex. What’s up Alex? How’s it going man?

Alex: “Hey, what’s up Keiran? Ahh, I’m doing alright man thanks for having me on. This is really neat, my first Podcast check that off the bucket list, alright.

Keiran: “Yeah, alright, nice thank for ahh coming on. So, alex, why don’t you ahh just take a second and tell the people out here ahh a little bit about of yourself so that they can get to know you.

Alex: “Oh! Okay. Well listen I can give a I can give the quick synopsis ahh I ahh I finished high school at the I’d went to Cegep, and Cegep was just a momentous waste of my time it took me as long to graduate from Cegep is a did from rs school not that particularly proud of that, but ahh that’s that’s how it ahh that’s how it worked down can’t change programs like three times while they know what I want to do and then ahh when I finally finally graduated from Cegep and I was like “okay” you know, gotta pick your university or pick a program alright just ahh I just wasn’t excited by any of that. So, now an opportunity came up and I decided to go work for Club Med so ahh Club Med hotel Chain and the went to go work for Club Med for five years. Ahh basically travelled down south you know Mexico, the Caribbean..

Keiran: alright

Alex: What I’ve, yeah, what I’ve first ahh work in club med  the what you get in to club med is like starting of like you know taking care of the kids, taking out like the mini club out there and that’s how I started just taking care of the kids, yeah.

Keiran: So you were like a like a camp councillor for a while?

Alex: I guess you could yeah yeah camp councillor. But in a much more, I don’t know, ahh in a much more exciting setting you know like ahh off the beach you know the pacific coast like very nice and just ahh lots of partying, lots of partying. It was very…

Keiran: Hahaha

Alex: It isn’t, I mean I’m assure like camp councillor’s party but ahh this was ahh this was pro party on a quasi professional level..

Keiran: Alright

Alex: and ahh but what they had on club med. They had different activities and the one of the activities that they offer is a trapeze. Like trapeze like in the circus…

Keiran: Great!

Alex: and ahh my roommate was a one of the look, club med were called GEOS it’s a French for “gentil organisateur “  but it’s essentially the ones who were like run the village and he was a circus GEO.

Keiran: Wait wait wait. What do you mean by the village?

Alex: like that’s how they call, you know, Club Med is not refer to us a Hotel. Because it’s a big piece of property,

Keiran: okay

Alex: and it’s just not one massive building, so they call the den for the club meds around the world “Villages” they don’t “Hotels”.

Keiran: okay

Alex: So, um and so it that’s it.  My roommate was a circus GEO and the, me and him ah we got tight in a one things that his buddy come and I give a try and a once they go try out to trapeze and the first time I did it. I just shat my pants…

Keiran: Haha

Alex: in a thirty feet up in air swinging around and it’s was like “This is awful”.

Keiran: Yeah yeah yeah, I’m not surprised.

Alex: Yeah, yeah! Though and I ahh, the first time I did I was like I’m never doing that again and the I actually went back actually went back to try the second time and the second time something pattered like “Oh! you know there’s something fear about this” and I just started like just doing it more more more just like for friend? Like in my free time…

Keiran: Yeah.

Alex:  with the rest of his team. And then ahh one day like I started to take it seriously and I started like training with these guys. At to the point where I became like a circus GEO like a circus employee and I stuck around in the circus until the end of my late club med career by the time I was done like five years later I was of chief of circus, so I was in charge of the circus activity. So I was the one who ran into shows a week and like taking care of the maintenance of the rig and like training the new circus’ GEOs. So like I had done, I had done a quite quite a quite a waste in circus. And the, there one day I was like alright, it’s your home like a club med school, you know, five years but ahh eventually you kinda want something more you know,

Keiran: Right

Alex: you want something a bit more challenging. So I decided it that I wanted to come back home so I keep back to Montreal and the I work as a circus instructor and a gymnastic instructor ahh for number of years, ahh you know just ahh, um you know I was live flew with my brother we had an apartment you know with the girlfriends and the that’s you know that was my life that was my life for a long time you know and the but the eventually that girdled too because when you’re a circus instructor a when you’re a gymnastics instructor you're basically always working ahh nights and weekends

Keiran: Right, it’s kind of like the comedy scene, right?

Alex: Yeah, it it’s always nights and weekends you know and all the rest of your friends and family and your girlfriends at one nap. They’re on a regular schedule so eventually you got like kinda lonely

Keiran: Uhum

Alex: Just wanted to, I just want to like re-join like a normal life like kind of like schedule

Keiran: Hahah this is society hahaha

Alex: Yeah, and and also like a like this is a circus performer circus instructor but even more I was a circus performer like I I have my level of skill and I knew what I was capable of doing. But at some point in Circus, you you can have to pass yourself like “Okay, where do you wanna do with this?” Do you wanna become like a professional like circus performer and if and if that’s what you wanna do then there’s two question you need to ask yourself. You need to ask yourself, “Do I have the basic skill?”, “Do I have, Do I have the the the inmate skill to become a like a high level circus performer. And the answers either yer or its no. If the answer is “No” then it’s like you are have the the desire and the ability and the resources to train to get to that level. Anyways, the parade the equation just you know needed that was like listen I was not of the same level as some of my circus co-hordes like…

Keiran: Right

Alex: I do were like buddy of mine his name was Randy unlike Randy you just knew right away that he was gonna be a professional circus performer

Keiran: wait

Alex: cause he just, he just had it, you know.

Keiran: Even if you, even if you had like that level of like natural talent or any talent what the, how long can your career go long in that industry, man? and how much money can you make with that?

Alex: Well, that is very that’s a very good question I mean that’s in that’s also like definitely part of the equation  because it’s it’s  an artists life so it’s like you know its not like a regular pay check so if you have to leg, you know you have to hussle in order to get gigs you have to like depending on which you want to do. Like I have a friend of mine, the other friend of mine is name is Simon, and ahh Simon made his life with circus and and the way he needed to proceed in order to make like a like a the slithering or he made it to to have multiple sources of income. So at so at some point he ahh became a trainer for Cirque du Soleil. So basically he wasn't a performer like in the in individual shows but in Montreal he was training them like whoever whenever artist that they hire they have to go through a boot camps or he became one of those. He actually owned the the trapeze school, which I worked out once I came out from Club Med so he was getting somewhere revenue from that. And he was also working with Club Med as a consultant ah to make sure that their circus program was up and running and all the rigging was up to code. So really at through this three sources of income, he was able to make like a this living instead of like me like we’re now fighting fell look of my life of kind of just happen like the work pay check you know, other way that’s because but he needed to do it like with three different things and then you ask yourself. You know let’s take this, there’s no insurance program like there is like with like a regular employer like so if you get hurt, ahhh, and you hurt your shoulder. Well your Fucked

Keiran: Yeah yeah you just said that the game.

Alex: You just style unless you know you’re pro actively like buying insurance for yourself which is which his, he actually he did. But it’s much more expensive to get insurance that way then let’s see if you have an insurance plan with your employer. So you know, but these are all considerations that kind of factored in my decision to one day decide to go you know what, and and you’re point which is said like how long can you do it. You know there is always so long you can do it as a performer that at some point it didn’t has to turnover and then you’re like an instructor

Keiran: Yeah

Alex:  or your reppin’ school or your consulting me cause you’re obviously you can’t, you can’t be circus performer at late fifty-five like it is a

Keiran: No, yeah yeah.

Alex:  You’re shoulders, you’re back I mean there’s you can train and you can take care of your body but my nigga at some point it’s much

Keiran: Unless youre like the lion guy hahaha!

Alex: hahaha exactly!

Keiran: You could probably be doing that at late forty-five, right.

Alex: Yeah, yeah, well those those two those two German guys did it for quick so long. But they rolled the dice and then, who is it? Which one got nailed.

Keiran: Oh yeah! One of them got bit right? Or something?

Alex: Yeah, well. You rolled the dice rolled the dice one day you will get snake eyes. You know what I mean? Hahaha

Keiran: So, Alex ahhh I mean I met you I think about maybe two years ago?

Alex: two years ago

Keiran: or one and half years ago? Right?

Alex: yeah, two years ago.

Keiran: And I know now you work for a big company. You’re doing sales I think. Is that it?

Alex: Yeah yeah. I do have a livings. I don’t actually do this selling but I give the sales team tools that they need to do their job. So all these arguments that they need and ahh like I mean I work like you know just to close the loop back to comedy so like you know, I quit the circus, I quit the circus life and decided to go corporate you know when I started like you know gradually, you know gradually like building up my career and like you know taking on bigger bigger positions but eventually the call of being on stage and you know that tickle your ego gets from being the centre of attention where jumpers to get from being on the circus like that still always call to me and that’s why one day I decided to do this stand-up because you know that was one way of getting back without like going back to the circus you know. Like, It was another thing to explore another thing to see like hey what’s that all about you? Oh and that’s that’s where we met. You know.

Keiran: Right, alright man. So I’m curious um on my podcast sometimes I talk about the being a dad and I know you have you’ve two daughters right?

Alex: Yeah!

Keiran: And that’s funny cause a lot of my some of my students listen into Podcast and there is this one guy, he’s ahh one of my students he’s from Brazil, and he was talking recently with his girlfriend about having a kid and I mean generally on my podcast I talk a lot about ahh how’s stress how’s stressful it is and it’s tiring and I talk a lot about of I guess negative aspects about being a father.

Alex: Which is the funny part, right? Like that’s for the comedy.

Keiran: Yeah! Exactly that’s where all the funny parts come from, but I mean tell me like what is your perspective on being a dad? You know, I know you’re now a you’re divorced right?

Alex: Yeah, yeah, divorced.

Keiran: And but what’s your dad life like man? Do you, I’m sure when you became a dad it’s a little bit frustrating in some ways cause you lose a lot of your freedom, right?

Alex: Yeah, yeah. No, like a it’s everything changes, everything changes and if there’s one thing that being a dad one thing that that being a parent experience teaches you is that is that that’s selflessness that like you know, like we live our whole lives you know like catering to our needs and then all of a sudden like you stop to do that to take care of somebody else’s needs and at first “Oh man, this is shitty, like what about all…

Keiran: Hahahaha

Alex: what about all, what about all of mile what about all of wild ones to do and all of all of your like desires get put off and take care and and  there is there is there is a part of it a part of me anyways that that was frustrated I don’t know if I’m good on saying resented but frustrated about like you know all the challenges that it is to become a father and putting all of your stuff far away in order to take care of these of these two like you know like resource syphons.

Keiran: Hahahahaha

Alex: That or that might children but essentially

Keiran: Yeah, it is stealing your food and your money all the time

Alex: But it’s funny because like as they grow older and they develop and they start doing these things like I go all like daughter doing ballet and now like she’s doing these ballet recitals and she’s like snowboarding and I’m like “oh shit!” like that was a ball of fat.

Keiran: Yeah

Alex: like six, six years ago and now she’s doing all these things and the other one  she’s got a sense of humour and she’s she’s literally understand what it is to be funny and she’s cracking jokes and like you see, you see what you put in to your kids, and then you’re like and then it’s like “ahhh Okay.” Because I feel like you know like no to toot my own horn but I feel like my kids are flourishing I think they’re developing well and that’s a part of it as to do without me and the ex-wife. We did, um we did put in a lot of work to to like to like raise these kids whether that’s you know just reading them a bedtime story every night, whether it’s you know being a fucking taxi driver all over the city to bring in to their items. I got into an argument with a taxi driver the other day. He accused me of being an Uber drive and I'm like "no these for my kids," and and I was like

Keiran: Haha That’s funny man.

Alex: Anyways, So you just driving around and all of the money like you know that a costume that’s saps up all your you like it, you know. I love to go to vacation there’s buying for that

Keiran: Yeah. 

Alex: It is, you know

Keiran: I know.

Alex: I have I have, I can go to Oka or Maine. That’s that’s my vacation.  That’s what we can do but I find  the payoff is there but it’s there’s a lesson there’s lesson that I find there’s and then an undeniable human experience lesson that comes out of being a parent how can there not be? You know what I mean? It’s like…

Keiran: Yeah, I find like it’s a you cannot be changed by anything

Alex: You cannot, exactly

Keiran: I think I’m a probably of that way better person than I was like four years ago I was I mean not that I was a bad person but, like you I think you just you know when you have a little girl to take care of and I mean imagine it doesn’t if it’s a boy either like you just I don’t know I think carry a little bit more about even like yourself and

Alex: Well, I take…

Keiran: You can’t just be a piece of garbage. Hahaha

Alex: No, no, no you can’t no no and you it makes you measure using but I think better now than I was,  like let’s say three years ago when they were younger and you were babies cause it’s just like to sleep deprivation and the diapers and the shit than it it’s just like there’s no, there’s, there’s, little like pay off to the work

Keiran: alright

Alex: Because there’s still so little and ironically like you know it it it goes by like so fast and you end up missing it, yeah that was the shittiest part but you end up missing it and I was just watched the movie last night where there was like a lot of baby scenes in there and I was like I found myself like missing like Oh My God! Like I can’t, like I can remember when I used to have them in my arms…

Keiran: Yeah

Alex: and I was just, that’s it, that’s shits over that shit is over, it’s done.

Keiran: How old are your kids man?

Alex: Um nine and five. Nine and five.

Keiran: Nine and Five. Ahh

Alex: yeah

Keiran: So, do they ever do like things that just like drive you fucking nuts? Like my daughter does and she does this on purpose and its hilarious. But like my wife she goes to school she leaves at six in the morning she takes the bus she gets home about seven at night. So I usually drop off my kid at daycare drive to go pick her up after I finish work  and im always exhausted when I get home you know

Alex: yeah

Keiran: and then she’s four and a half she;s still on like the booster seat in the car so I go to the backseat to open door and get her over the car and she always locks the door like why im doing that? Why Im why I leave my door to go to get her out of her door and she locks the door on that process and Im just so defeated at that point of the day.


Keiran: we we’re like I go to open the door and everytime im just like “FUCK!” you know,

Alex: alright

Keiran: I don’t say that, but that’s what Im feeling in my head and then I look at the window and she;s just laughing her ass off, cause she knows everytime that its gonna get me hahaha oh my god and I should know by now but its laughs and im just like hmm

Alex: Hahahaha well, you know they’re good kids they don’t do too much to drive me nuts what I finally like challenging now it’s just like you what like how manners like we all we all we all have manner well a dog’s now we understand to hold the door open it for someone to say please and thank you and its like like whatever I’m forty years old so like I understand how society works and there’s certain there’s certain politeness and there’s certain adequate to what they do and I take it  for granted but I realize that kids its really up repeating it all the time. That “Please” and “Thank you’s” very hard and there good kids but “Please” and “Thank you” it’s like they’ll us astray like be like anywhere where strangers will just you know a restaurant  or waitress you give him a you know fill up there glass of water “No, thank you” They just think that, like a, I don’t know.  They get out shower then they would dry themselves up. They just like leave the towels like on the floor and I’m like “what do you mean?” Take the towels on the floor or my second one. I’d like lose my mind she’s just, she’ll hang a (dous 18:38) in the bathroom and I’ll walk in and she hangs a big duos and No flashing the toilet,

Keiran: Hahahaha

Alex: I just walk in and looks like a baby ceiling the toilet bowl and I’m like “Jesus Christ! Chloe can you fucking flash the toilet?” “Oh Ohh sorry” and she comes in.

Keiran: Yeah but she’s

Alex: but it’s everyday

Keiran:  okay she’s five

Alex: But it’s every day, right?

Keiran: But dude, listen to this. I did a show at the yellow door. I don’t know, who is fuck in the fall. Okay.

Alex: Yeah

Keiran:  And who was not the comic show they have an open night like musical show. They sometimes let me go on there.

Alex:  Is that on the Friday sir.

Keiran:  Yeah, it’s on the Friday. So it’s before the thing started and the place is like completely packed and I go over the washroom before the show starts and there’s someone in there, Okay. Somewhere I wait and then the girl comes out and I know the girls. This girl who performs or all the time and like “hey hey”  we have a little chit chat and then she leaves and then I go in and I go in and there’s is this massive dump just sitting in the bowl.


Keiran: and I’m just like, “How do you do that?” You know, like how you have no, she had like there’s no embarrassment like I was going in right after that. She knew I was going in and it’s just like that she’s change my whole

Alex:  Maybe she knew you’re awaiting and she show that’s just a kind of sign “just leave me”

Keiran: Hahaha She hates me? Do I look like, dude this.

Alex: I don’t know, yeah, exactly. It felt like that but I found like, okay, like it’s just like, I don’t know. When I was, when we are younger like, since today, like ah. I go to a public bathroom with my second daughter and she’s like two years old like just a toddler, you know, I was still work away for at the time so she’s like “Daddy, bathroom” you know, so I’m like “Why fuck at be sitting at your chair” So I’ll be said, Take her to the maintenance bathroom, you know, sit her down, you know to the whole toilet paper then she pees, you know, and as we were about to leave I could wash my hands, you know, all as customary to do and as I turn around my daughter’s praying the bongo’s in the urinal like just “Flush flush flush, flush flush flush” fucking urinal water just flying all over the place. In her hair, on her forehead and I literally let out a scream, like I was just “Whoaaaaaa”. Scoop her up and started just jammed her underneath the sink as water boarding her like just to get the urinal juice off her face, like titanium.

Keiran: Hahahaha

Alex:  Water boarding, crap at her, my daughter. I think I got a couple of grey hairs on that one. That’s the kind of days that kids were like make you do the, that’s like less of now. Now, they don’t do so many things like that.

Keiran: Alright, that’s awesome. You know, just for a few minutes we’re gonna wrap this up. Cause I do a short format podcast but we’re gonna just cut and we’ll start 

Alex: very incredible, keep it going.

Keiran: We’ll I’m not gonna cut it. Oh well I cut it. Hold on.