Uncensored English

Looking for a different angle on English language podcasts? Keiran the crazy Canadian goes where the other English podcasts don't... and more. Keiran and his native English guests discuss politically incorrect subjects as well as general English language, idioms, expressions, culture and more all while having natural unscripted conversations. This podcasts feature an educational exploration of language ranging from every day expressions, pop culture expressions, explicit language and anything in between. The podcast is geared towards adults students, professionals, university students as well as ESL teachers who want to step out of the "Safe Space" of the English language education community and have a little more fun. Join Keiran and his guests in their down to earth humorous conversations and learn to speak a more universal edgy form of English like a native! English ISN'T always PC!!!
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Sep 28, 2016

Sometimes you need to tell people to stop talking, we'll help you with that!



Keiran: So, today on the podcast we have someone we haven't had on here for a while back on here. How's it going, Gabriel?


Gabriel: [coughs] Pretty good. Sorry, I've been out I've been really sick. Coming down from a really bad case of Mono, short for mononucleosis which is a degenerative disease that attacks your immune system but I've been recovering the last three months or so. 


Keiran: Gross. Is it mono something you get from being a slut and just fooling around with lots of people?


Gabriel: Yes, maybe. It's the disease of love, baby. Mwah, mwah, mwah.


Keiran: Great, man. We're glad that you're bouncing back from mono so what's new with you lately? Have you been up to anything, other the usual or...?


Gabriel: I was in school. Yes, I'm in school. I lector [?] a class and I hate the class so much and I was so hangover this Monday. What hangover means is I drank a lot of alcohol on Sunday and on Monday I felt so bad. I left the class and I dropped it for my schedule. 


Keiran: So, you dropped the class. You have less work now.


Gabriel: Yes, oh, yes. No, it was my only class so I have no school this semester.


Keiran: Was it not the only class you have to do to finish your university?


Gabriel: Yes, I hated it that much. There was no way I was going to pass this class. It was so boring and hard that I said, "I'm going to take the easy class", which is in January which I want to do initially, but I'll take the easy class instead of this home-boring, hard class with this Hillary-loving teacher. I'm guessing, I'm not...


Keiran: My wife is doing eight classes. 


Gabriel: That's crazy.


Keiran: I know and she also--


Gabriel: But they're all designing clothes, right? It's like, learning how to saw one on one or...


Keiran: A lot of our fashion design courses but she's also doing language courses which is really hard. I mean, she only start to learn English when she met me. It's one of those essay classes you had to do in citizenship [?], in university. She's doing those with basically really basic writing abilities. It's really tough for her but...We get to know your being lazy and enjoy. Enjoying, you're fucked. Can't handle one class. It's funny. 


Gabriel: It was honestly awful. They were basically just talking about none issues. They're talking about why are artist arted [?]. How's this not arted, that's not arted. It was like, "Oh my God. I don't care. I don't care about art. I don't care about Ivana Abramovic [?] or whatever stupid name is. 


Keiran: If you hate it, I mean, if you hate the class it means you will drop earlier, right?


Gabriel: Yes, I'm just going to do comedy. I'm hosting McLean's on Sunday. It's going to be fun. Come on down folks if you're in the area.


Keiran: Yes, people around the world come to McLean's. Alright. Okay, let's get started with the podcast here today. Today, we're going to be talking about idioms or expressions that we use in English to tell people to stop talking. We want to be quiet. Let's just say, what's the first one that comes to your mind, the one that you think you say the most.?


Gabriel: "Shut up" is the most common one that I've heard.


Keiran: Okay and "shut up" is something you can use with anyone or all the time or what's...?


Gabriel: It's a bit rude. I mean, I tell my mom to shut up a lot but it's, I think I don't think you should tell your moms to shut up because they all might get upset. My mom gets upset at me every time I tell her to shut up, she's like, "I'm your mother. You came out of me," and I'm just like, "Aw, whatever lady." 


Keiran: I think it's a little bit of a rude word, right? The way I use "shut up" the most is to my dog.


Grabriel: Yes, it's true. Yes,yes, yes, a pet doesn't know. You just yell at a pet.


Keiran: Yes, the other night, my sister brought her dog over because they had to fumigate their house or something. Then at 9:30, the dog just supposed to start barking and I was just like, "Ah, shut up! Shut up you dumb dogs." And my dog's sleeping, I don't know.


Gabriel: They shut up.


Keiran: Yes, they did shut up. 


Gabriel: They understand it?


Keiran: Yes, they responded "shut up", man. It's great.


Gabriel: That's hilarious [?].


Keiran: I think the other way I use it is in a...not a library, in a movie theater. Every time I go, it's inevitable that someone will be talking behind me and eating popcorn really loud and I'll just go, "Shut up, God."


Gabriel: Really? I don't know. I'm kind of nervous to yell shut up it appears in a movie theater especially the type of people that make a lot of noise. You will see they're like that type of person. I don't want to say shut up to that type of person. 


Keiran: I mean, I always look first to make sure they're not bigger than me. 


Gabriel: Make sure like their weight?


Keiran: Make sure their weight or make sure that they're not more people than I am. Okay. So, shut up is rude. You can use it if you have that kind of relationship with your mom or with your dog. 


Gabriel: I yell shut up at my bird now. My live bird.


Keiran: You got to be careful with shut up though, right? You can't use it, really, all the time with anyone.


Gabriel: No. The entire opposite side of that is you could be really, really polite with asking people to quiet down. You can ask politely, "I'm sorry. Do you mind if you shut up or...?" no. You know what I mean. It's like, "Do you mind? You're making a lot of noise."


Keiran: Yes, that's probably the better approach to the movie theater situation too, right?


Gabriel: That's true. 


Keiran: Just turn around, go, "Guys, do you mind? I paid $10 to watch this movie. It's started. Can you stop talking, please?"


Gabriel: Yes.


Keiran: Right. So, "do you mind?". "Do you mind?" is the polite way or you just say "Could you guys be quiet"? What about other expressions. Do you have any other ones that you ever heard or you ever use a lot?


Gabriel: My dad says "cork down" a lot.


Keiran: "Cork down", you mean "cork it"? Put a cork in it?


Gabriel: Yes, yes. Sorry. My dad says "put a cork in it."


Keiran: That's one that my dad says. The other day we were having dinner and my daughter wanted to have a chocolate. We have this box of chocolates and my mom was like, "Well, you can have a chocolate if you have one more carrot and one more cucumber and a piece of broccoli, you can have one chocolate." My daughter just looked really annoyed by that and I told my daughter, "You know what, Michelle, in 20 years we can go see grandma in the retirement home and bring a box of chocolates." Then, when she asked her one, you could go like, "Well grandma, you can have a chocolate if you have one more carrot, one more cucumber." My dad was like, "Keiran, put a cork in it."   


Gabriel: It sounds so funny.


Keiran: He thought I was being rude but I don't know. I know it was pretty funny thing to do but...Who says "put a cork in it" in your life? Is it your dad?


Gabriel: No, I was making fun of you. 


Keiran: You're making of fun me, thanks. Good, dumbass.


Gabriel: Corked it.


Keiran: We said "shut up", "put a cork in it", "do you mind?". Do you have any other ones that come into your mind?


Gabriel: You can say "excuse me". I guess it's also "do you mind".


Keiran: Yes, it's a polite way of "excuse me".


Gabriel: [inaudible] You said "simmer down" but I don't know anyone's ever said that, ever. Maybe in the UK.


Keiran: "Simmer down", yes. "Simmer down" and "pipe down". Like "simmer down" and "pipe down", they're not really telling someone to stop talking. They're telling someone to make less noise, right?


Gabriel: Yes, it's true, yes. Keep it down or even like take it easy. 


Keiran: Right. There are some, maybe a school teacher like, "Simmer down kids. We're in the library. We can't make too much noise." The one I remember from elementary school is when my, the teachers would turn the lights off to get people to be quiet and then after a little while the kids would start talking again then the teacher would be like, "Guys, zip your lips and then lock it and throw the key away."


Gabriel: Oh, my God. 


Keiran: Did you ever hear that one?


Gabriel: I guess so. I have in cheesy cartoons or remember Austin Powers the movie? Dr. Evil was like zip it, zip it. That's a good one. 


Keiran: Yes, like, zip it. Zip it. Who is he saying it to?


Gabriel: Everybody I think or his son, Seth or I remember, Scott.


Keiran: Right. Scott, zip it. That's all I got in my mind, man. What's the funniest way you've ever told someone to shut up or the funniest situation you've yelled bad at people?


Gabriel: When you're like, I'm trying to think. When someone gets really, really mad at you and's almost like you don't even realize they're getting that mad at you so you just say like, "Come on, there. Relax," and they get even more angrier after you say relax to them. If you say that to a boss or something, or someone that employs you, if you tell a boss to be quiet, they get so angry. It's like...yes.


Keiran: Yes, I got fired for that. 


Gabriel: Isn't that stupid? They get so, "Relax? Relax, really, relax? The opposite.


Keiran: It's an ego thing. They're like, "You can't tell me to relax. I am the one who tells you."


Gabriel: I'm like, "Come on dude. Be quiet." I guess it's similar to being quiet is like to relax. Calm your nerves or your temper or like...It's like implying to stop making noise. 


Keiran: Yes, it's telling them to shut up with a different word or telling them to just calm down. I remember when I worked in an Italian Supper Club and they had this new bar that was outside. I was closing it up and you had this plastic windows you had to roll down at the end of the night and I was rolling it down and then the lowest manager in the totem pole was like, "K, you're rolling it down from the wrong side." I stopped rolling it down so I could go do it on the other side but he was wasted and was like, "K, you roll it...K! You're rolling it down from the wrong, K! You're rolling it..." He said it like seven times and I was just like, "Fuck! I heard you the first time, man." Then, they had a meeting about me that I was not invited to.


Gabriel: Loser.


Keiran: I know. All six managers had a meeting and they were like, "Kieran, we're going to let you go." I just said, "All right, whatever."


Gabriel: He was calling you K?


Keiran: Yes, they called me K. 


Gabriel: That's so weird. 


Keiran: They're too lazy to say the whole name.


Gabriel: It's not like a good name for you to use the first letter. It just sounds like a drug.


Keiran: We'll going do all this and play, man. 


Gabriel: Yes, that's it. 


Keiran: All right, man. Let's recap this. We talked about "shut up", "do you mind?", "put a cork in it", "pipe down", "simmer down" and zip your lips and "zip it". Which is the most polite one people can use to tell other people to be quiet?


Gabriel: I'd say, start with "do you mind?".


Keiran: All right and from do you mind, where do we go?


Gabriel: I guess from "do you mind" would be "simmer down", sounds kind of dorky [crosstalk]


Keiran: It's kind of friendly, right?


Gabriel: Yes, and then "zip it", sounds like, I don't know. It's not bad but you know...


Keiran: It's kind of funny. 


Gabriel: If you were tell a guy in the bus to zip it, and the guy would, "You sort of...", He'd like you wouldn't want to know if he wants like, he could ask or not. He would like, "I don't know. Is he telling me to zip it?"


Keiran: Right. Everything you do is like an Austin Powers like reference him in...So, "do you mind", "simmer down", "zip it".


Gabriel: I guess "shut up" is the worst.


Keiran: Yes, "shut up" is the worst and "put a cork in it" is kind of crude. It's probably below "shut up" and then "shut up" is just the most like, "I don't give a shit about what you think just stop making noise, please."


Gabriel: Yes. You can even add like, "Shut the fuck up," in there. 


Keiran: That's not for your mom. 


Gabriel: No. "Shut the fuck up, stupid."


Keiran: That's for your dog when your mom's not in the house or something. 


Gabriel: Or you feel like you finally want to kick your dad's ass. You're like, "I'm tired shut your ass up."


Keiran: When does that happen? I don't know. I've never tried it, I think I could not kick my dad's ass. He's bigger than me, man. 


Gabriel: Thanksgiving 2008. [inaudible]


Keiran: It's the end of Keiran's life. All right, Gabriel. We're going to wrap it up. Do you have anything else you want to say to the people of the world who you haven't spoken to in a while?


Gabriel: You can send me emails at, let me know how much you enjoy me. G-A-B-O-M-A-S-S-I at Gmail dot com. Send me an email like a quest finding with people from the internet. You could know. 


Keiran: Is that your real email? 


Gabriel: Yes,


Keiran: Yes. You just gave that to hundreds of people so.


Gabriel: That's amazing. 


Keiran: If you want to send Gabe an email, you can. If you want to spam him or send him like viruses to fuck off his computer, you can do too. 


Gabriel: Send me an email and I'll read on the podcast next time if I get any and then I'll, I don't know. I'll send you like an autograph, picture or whatever. 


Keiran: Yes, we can do an interview session with Gabriel. You can ask him personal questions or something. All right, man. Thanks for coming on the podcast and helping us out. 


Gabriel: Yes, no problem. It was a lot of fun. 


Keiran: All right, and if you guys enjoyed Gabriel, he's been on several other podcasts, you can check them out. The first podcast he did with me though is how to use the word "fuck". I think the third one how do you use the word "shit".