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Uncensored English

Looking for a different angle on English language podcasts? Keiran the crazy Canadian goes where the other English podcasts don't... and more. Keiran and his native English guests discuss politically incorrect subjects as well as general English language, idioms, expressions, culture and more all while having natural unscripted conversations. This podcasts feature an educational exploration of language ranging from every day expressions, pop culture expressions, explicit language and anything in between. The podcast is geared towards adults students, professionals, university students as well as ESL teachers who want to step out of the "Safe Space" of the English language education community and have a little more fun. Join Keiran and his guests in their down to earth humorous conversations and learn to speak a more universal edgy form of English like a native! English ISN'T always PC!!!
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Aug 24, 2016

*** INTRO ***

It's Wednesday day August the.... I don't actually know the date. Oh no it's the 24th, it's August the 24th. And I'm a little disappointed. I had a podcast planned today, actually I had three podcasts I was going to make today. And two of them I was not able to get done, the guest disappeared, uh the third one is going to happen tonight, so I can't use it as today's podcast because I need to put it up before tonight. So I thought I would do one more podcast on my own, I know you guys probably want to hear some guests back on here. We go some guests scheduled to come up, it just hasn't been, it's been about a week since I've been able to do it since I was in Halifax. But that's ok I came up with a snappy subject today. It's going to be fun. I wanted to talk about one other thing first. This is just such a cool event that happened, because of teaching, and a little bit because of my podcast. And one of my students I've been teaching her for I think about 4 or 5 months now already. She's a very nice young lady, she ... I'm not going to say her name I guess, but her fiancee lives in Canada, he moved here frmo another foreign country and she came here three weeks ago to get married. And they don't really know anyone here so they invited me to go to there wedding. Which I was honored to be invited, however I could not go cause I was in Halifax. But one cool thing that happened is I told Edward about it because Edward is in Toronto. So Edward and his wife went to one of my students and one of our Uncensored English podcasts' listeners wedding. And they had a very small and a very fun wedding which I'm jealous I didn't get to go to. And it was a funny I was talking to another one of my students about weddings, and we were both agreeing that weddings probably are more stressful and more expensive then they should be to celebrate the love and the life of a young couple. And I think that this couple is probably one of the only couples I've heard of that did it right. Without dropping tons of cash, and inviting 150 people and stressing themselves out. So I just wanted to congratulate you guys on your wedding, yay you did it. Now you are together forever unless you get divorced, but if that happens then you'll have to steal half each others shit. But I'm happy that you're married, I hope you're happy too, because if you're not well there's nothing you can do. Actually I didn't have a big wedding either, I just got married in the consulate, the Mongolian consulate in South Korea. Because my wife and I our visas were expiring and the odds of being able to go to the same country again were very little. Uh well I mean not for me, I have a Canadian passport that thing is sweeeet, but she has one of those shitty third world country passports where basically she can only go to countries she doesnt want to go to. That's probably the only marriage I would ever want, I don't actually believe in marriage, I don't really think I need the government or religions approval for my life. Seems silly to me and useless, but that's just my opinion... and if you believe otherwise, well good for you. Anyways, today I"m going to talk to you guys about a specific word, that word is jerk. Jerk is, mmmmm, I would say I soft swear word, or often an unkind word, but it's a very useful word. And there's a few very useful variations of it, that were going to talk about today. So by jerk, of course I don't mean to jerk your arm around. As in a sharp movement. A quick sharp movement. I mean, as in the noun, as in that guy is a jerk. So what do you think jerk means, what do you think jerk means. One of my favourite websites, urbandictionary, you can check it out. I like this definition, it's very comical, I'm going to read it for you. Jerk, the kind of guy most girls actually want, when they say they want a nice guy. Jerks are selfish manipulative bastards, he see girls as little more than sexual conquests to brag about to their buddies, or mere objects that are for their personal pleasure. K I'm not going to continue, because I think half of this is accurate, half of this is maybe a little bit overly progressive and sensitive and man hating, jerks do not have to be men, jerks can be women to. And I think, in my opinion, is that a jerk is a very self-centered person, who generally only thinks about themselves. I think the first line is pretty accurate when most women actually want when they say a nice guy. But let's talk about a jerk. Are you a jerk, am I a jerk? Sometimes I'm a jerk, sometimes I am selfish, I think it's healthy to be selfish, what do you guys think? Should we go around always putting others in before ourselves? Is that an attractive quality in a person? Someone who always sacrifices what they want for others? Ummmmmm I don't know. I cant answer for everyone but I don't think that's a good way to be. I don't think it's a good way to live, I think it's healthy, healthy, to be absolutely selfish. I like being selfish, I like doing what I want, I'll do what I want if that's what I want. I'll be a jerk, you'll be a jerk, don't be a jerk at work, that's not the place to be a jerk. Right, so, being a jerk, I like to be a jerk as long as I'm not hurting anyone. I mean the other day I think I made a little mistake with my daughter, I think I was a little bit of a jerk, but it was unintentional, my uhh my mom brought us some chocolates, and there was three chocolates she gave us, two of them were these little lindt balls,  and the third one was this little small box of smarties. So I took one of the lindt balls, she took one of the lindt balls, and then we both ate our chocolate lindt balls. Then, I took the box, and I said let's split the box, and she said it's my box of smarties and she said no it's my box of smarties. And I said no it's not, you just had one chocolate, I had one chocolate, let's split the box of smarties and she said no it's mine, and I started to get very upset, and I said Michelle were splitting it, you're being spoiled, and I opened the smarties and she started to go crazy. And I split them into two piles, evenly, and then she started to try to take the smarties from my pile, saying that they were hers, and then I snatched the last few ones and I put them in my mouth and I ate them. And then she exploded in anger and tears, and I thought she was acting like a jerk but it turns out that that box of smarties was actually hers, my grandma had , my grandma, her her grandma had given it to her, and I had eaten half of her box of smarties. So that was a jerk thing for me to do. See that's a jerk. I was ignoring the 4 year olds girls ideas and not listening to her, I was just being selfish and I didn't care about, I mean I thought I was being fair but apparently I was being a big jerk. Alright we're going to talk about a few other ways to use the word jerk. Jerk is often used to say that you're wasting time. It's a phrasal verb, stop jerking around. Stop wasting time. For example, do you remember you know when you were in school. And you had a group project, which is always awful cause you have to work with people. I mean group projects were terrible because every group project was the same. One person in the group did most of the word and had most of the good ideas, from my experience, and then everyone else would just jerk around. Meaning they'd just joke around and talk and no progress would every get made. And in those cases you would say Hey! Guys! Common stop jerking around! We have to finish this before we go home, the deadlines tomorrow we gotta stop jerking around. Stop jerking around, stop wasting time.  Stop wasting my time, I'm wasting your time, by repeatedly saying wasting time, I'm jerking around, don't let someone jerk around with your time. Jerking around. Another example is umm I was getting ready to go out with my wife and my daughter we were going to go into the village we wanted to get to the ice cream store before it closed which is generally around 10 but somedays it's earlier about 9. My wife and I were ready but my daughter was like I don't know what socks I want to wear daddy, I want to wear the orange and the purple socks daddy, and then I'm like alright put em on, ok I don't want to wear these anymore daddy I want to wear the polka dot socks daddy, alright fine put em on, daddy I want to wear I want, stop jerking around Michelle were going to miss the ice cream store. It's going to close, stop jerking around. Alright I'm going to wrap this podcast up, there's more to talk about with jerk but we don't really have time. It's actually a little more dirty then what we've already covered so I'm going to save this for Gabriel or Max or whoever we see next and we're going to continue phrasal verbs with jerk but remember jerk is a selfish person, which I don't think is bad but occasionally there too selfish to the point where they hurt other peoples feelings, where they're inconsiderate about other peoples feelings. And of course jerking around is being silly wasting peoples time. Being inconsiderate about others and what they need to do and just wasting time, you're jerking around. Pick your socks Michelle! Pick em! Stop jerking around with daddy's life! Alright, guys, listen to that podcast again, you know, right down the points, write down some sentences, try it out next time your speaking with some natives speakers or you're travelling through an English country. And we'll catch you next time on the next podcast of unnnncensored English!

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