By request, this is another episode to give you some conversational tricks for fitting into North American culture. Have fun!
So i'm finally back at home with my normal microphone so you'll probably notice the sound quality is a lot better. Sorry for the stadicky podcast while I was in Halifax. But I had to buy a headset and it wasn't the greatest obviously. But were back to the normal podcast, back to the normal time , back to transcripts unfortunately for me, that's an hour of typing for every 10 minutes I talk. Ouch it hurts! Anyways, today I wanted to do a podcast about um, well what was it, it was a few weeks ago I was talking to one of my students and they said some of the podcasts they really like were about to not ask why when someone kinda bails on a commitment or abandons you on plans you have. I think that podcast was podcast number 52, invitations and avoiding awkward situations with John Rey. So I was out other day and I had another one of these situations where it became an awkward moment with someone I didn't know. And I know that these kind of awkward moments, I mean they happen in every culture but in every culture they happen for different reasons. So I'm going to share with you how to avoid these awkward moments in these two situations this week.
So the first one is at a party, or at a bar, or your at some kind of social gathering with friends, and people you don't know. And you're talking to someone and you're getting to know someone too, sorry getting to know someone new and then all of a sudden they pop a question, they ask you, they'll say oh look at this new jacket I got, you'll be like wow it's so nice where did you get it? And she'll be like oh I got it at American apparel blablabla, and all of a sudden she says guess how much it was, guess how much it was. The wrong thing to do here is to try to accurately guess the price of how much the jacket was. This is the wrong way to address that situation. This is not what you're trying to do, the whole guess how much the jacket was is a chance for you to create positive feelings between you and someone else and just vibe with them. Create a closer connection. So again you don't try to guess the price of the jacket, what you do is you try to guess an amount that will make the person proud of what they bought. So if you know the jacket costs 60$, you want to say more than it was. So they feel like they saved money, and they got a steal and they're a smart shopper. Does that make sense? You know the jacket cost 60$, you don't want to say 60$ and ya I got it! YOu want to say oh my god it looks like it was 90$ and then they're going to think whoa I got such an expensive looking jacket or I'm a smart shopper. I got a good deal for this jacket which looks like it's 90$. So whenever you have this game whenever you're in a social situation, it's the same thing with ages, you're at a bar and you're talking to someone new and the person says guess how old I am. You don't want to guess that woman or man's age accurately. You want to guess that woman or man's age a little bit younger cause that makes them feel good and that creates a positive situation. So again guessing a price, or guessing someone's age is not a test of your intelligence, it's an opportunity in North America to create positive feelings and create a positive social interaction.
Ok so that's the first one, I hope you, I mean I'm sure some of you already knew this but I"m also sure some of you didn't. Now here's the second situation. I'm going to give you the scenario for this one and then I'm going to let you pause and think about it. And try to figure this one out for yourselves. So the second scenario happened yesterday, I was at a grocery store near my house. And I went their for a specific reason, I went there to get a shin Ramyun noodles, it's a kind of ramen, it's not healthy it's my guilty pleasure. I know I should stop eating it. But I probably have it a few times a week. So anyways I go there, I go to the aisle where they have them I pick it up I go get into the line for the people who have 4-12 items, or 12 items or less, the short line. Waiting in line, I get to the line, I get to the cash, I plop my pack of ramen down onto the conveyor belt. They guy takes it scans it says, ah ramen noodles, ramen noodles, and I say yeah they're a great hang over cure. Now this is where the awkward situation happened, I'm not going to tell you what he said right away. But what would you say if you were him.
What would you say if in response to what I said if you were him? And again it's an opportunity, these situations are opportunities to make friends, opportunities to create positive feelings or to vibe with someone. And by vibe I mean kinda connect with someone on a on a positive level. On a level where I'm going to think positively after that interaction. And I'm going to want to interact with him again. So what would you do?
So here's what happened, I said yeah ramen noodles there a great hang over cure. And then he said I don't drink so I don't need them for that. And the funny thing is when he said that like this is a really negative to say for him, because there is two things that happened, one he broke the connect that me and him were building, like I had ramen and he had ramen, and I said oh yeah they're a great hang over cure I'm talking about ramen. And then he says I don't drink, so now he disconnects me and him, and then he says I don't need them for that. And when he says that, I don't need them for that, it implies on some level that there is something fundamentally wrong with what I'm doing and he's kinda put himself above me. And I didn't take it personally of course, but the funny thing is the guy ahead of me who was already leaving, he looked at me and he rolled his eyes, almost to say this guy didn't know what he's doing. And who knows maybe the cash guy was just having a bad day. But I'm going to give you the socially intelligent response to what I said, so again, it doesn't matter if you drink alcohol. IT doesn't matter if you if you find the matter of ramen being a hang over cure useful or not. The opportunity is to create a friend, to create positive feelings and to vibe. So if I were the other guy, I was the cash guy, and the other guy said ramen is a great hang over cure, even though I don't drink or I'm not interested in it for that reason, I'm not going to say I don't drink, I don't need it for that. I would say wow great, I'm going to share it with one of my buddies who drinks next time I see him. Or I'll say oh great I'm going to remember that for the future in case I ever do start to drink. And there with those two answers you've taken that situation you've created positive feelings, a good impression and you maybe next time you see that person you can build on it and create an ongoing relation at the grocery store. Or maybe the guy will turn into a friend or not. And this is really useful information for you people who are living in North America or Canada and you don't have as many native friends and you want more speaking experience people like these can actually turn into friends if you avoid those terrible social blunders.
Ok so I'm going to wrap this one up. Nothing very censorable on this episode. I know you guys like the bad words and the fun stuff. BUt it's very useful information. So remember how much does my jacket cost, how old am I, is not a test of your intelligence. It's an opportunity to create positive feelings, good energy and a potential friend. And again if someone says oh yeah ramen it's a great hang over cure, or you know any other friend, oh spinach is great for blablabla, doesn't matter if you are never going to eat it or are not interested in what they said it's really an opportunity for you to test your English skills and to connect with that person on another level by saying something creative like, oh I have a friend who would love to know about that, I'm going to share it with him next time I speak. Alright guys that's the end of the podcast. IF you liked it enjoyed it, rate it review it and we'll catch you next time on the next episode of Unnnnnnnnnnnnnnncensored English!