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Uncensored English

Looking for a different angle on English language podcasts? Keiran the crazy Canadian goes where the other English podcasts don't... and more. Keiran and his native English guests discuss politically incorrect subjects as well as general English language, idioms, expressions, culture and more all while having natural unscripted conversations. This podcasts feature an educational exploration of language ranging from every day expressions, pop culture expressions, explicit language and anything in between. The podcast is geared towards adults students, professionals, university students as well as ESL teachers who want to step out of the "Safe Space" of the English language education community and have a little more fun. Join Keiran and his guests in their down to earth humorous conversations and learn to speak a more universal edgy form of English like a native! English ISN'T always PC!!!
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May 30, 2016

In this Podcast Keiran's talks about his week, pinatas, and whether pinatas are meant for kids or adults.

*** TRANSCRIPT***

Whats up everybody this is Keiran the crazy Canadian, and welcome to another podcast of unnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnncensored English! Where we talk about whatever the hell

We want to talk about. So good morning, good afternoon, good evening, goodnight, to however you are wherever you are, and thank you for joining us.

So it’s 11:07 on Sunday night in Montreal, I hope you guys are doing well  and that you had a good weekend. Teaching wise my week was great, I had a few new students, great classes with my regular students. Comedy wise my weekend was a bit rough. I did two shows this week, I did a Wednesday show and a Sunday show. The Wednesday show was tough because there was only 4 audience members and the comic who went on before was more of a professional comic, he’s about 6 years in. He had a fantastic set. Then I went on after him, and I didn’t do as well as he did, nor nearly as close to as well as he did. I tested out a new punch line, it worked, so I was happy about that. For the rest of it it felt like I bombed, so I didn’t do very well. I just did a set tonight, Sunday night, at Macleans open mic downtown. And I was the bullet. The bullet means I was the first comic to go up besides from the host. And the host’s job in comedy is really to warm up in the crowd and keep the show rolling. And the comic who warmed up the crowd I mean he’s a good comic, he’s pretty solid but he did like 3 or 4 minutes it’s not enough time to warm up the crowd. So I felt like I got on to a pretty cold audience. And pretty much the first half of my set no one laughed. That’s not a good feeling.  I plowed through, I got em at the end. But again it wasn’t a great set. And asides from that I had a great weekend, I went to a birthday party. I also watched a new tv series called Preacher, first episode, if you guys like walking dead I think you’re going to like Preacher. Both of them are spinoffs of a comic book, means they are created from loosely from the comic book. It’s pretty violent, a lot of bad language, it’s funny though too, it’s really funny. It’s kinda like walking dead but they make it more comical. So check that out if you want to watch a new tv show, it’s called Preacher it’s on AMC. And yeah I went to a birthday party this weekend, it was my friends birthday he was turning 33. And the year before I went to the same friends birthday and he had a dinosaur pianata. Yeah that’s right we did a dinosaur piñata. And I saw that while I was at the party and I was like this is just silly. We’re all in our thirties and were hitting a piñata.  Then the thing cracks open and we all got some candy and I thought this is so dumb this is for kids.

Last week I went to another party for my daughter, it wasn’t my daughters party, she’s three and half. The girl who’s party it was was six years old, she was turning six.. and they had a piñata. And I saw the piñata, and I remembered the party I went to a year before and I thought now this is where a piñata should be. For kids right. That’s what I thought. Wow was I wrong! Man was I wrong! Kids who are six years old should not be playing with a piñata. When the thing cracked open all the kids went nuts! They turned into animals, they were pushing each other out of the way. Everyone was screaming, and even before that happened it was still a mess. They made a line, so every kid could get in line. And everyone got a turn to hit the piñata, and the birthday girl went first. And she’s hitting it, and she gets a few whacks in, she doesn’t hit it very well. And her mom says ok, ok now, it’s the next person in lines turn. And then she just started balling her eyes out, “but it’s my birthday I want to hit the piñata, it’s not fair!”

And her mom’s like “but sweety everyone is going to get to hit”

“But I’m the one whose birthday it is, why can’t I hit it”

So bawling her eyes out, she was crying, a lot. When you’re bawling your eyes out you’re crying a lot. So then the next boy got to hit it, and there was this other boy, I saw him on the side, he was like this fat kid, and he didn’t care about hitting the piñata, he was just waiting for that thing to crack open cause he knew what was inside. But anyways all the kids got to hit it once, and a few of them got to hit it twice and then finally one of the kids cracked it open, one little boy cracked open the piñata, candy spilled out the kids went nuts, pushing each other, and the fat kid he got a ton of candy. And then the birthday girl was bawling her eyes out again, “I didn’t get enough candy, that boy got more candy then me” then five or six other kids were like “ wahhhhhhh I didn’t get candyyyy”

My daughter only got one thing, it’s actually cause I got it for her.

But they were all bawling their eyes out man. Five or six year old kids are not ready for piñatas. It takes some self-control and the ability to share I guess. So try that out guys, bawling your eyes out. I’ll give you one more example.

“Oh my God did you hear about Jennifer last week?

“No why, what happened to Jennifer?”

“She was walking in the street, and she was looking into a restaurant and she saw her husband kissing another women”

“Oh wow, that’s messed up”

“I know she called me at night and she was bawling her eyes out the whole time, she couldn’t stop crying about it you know, it’s so unfair, she’s such a good woman.

“Yeah I know, I know what you mean” She was bawling her eyes out. Crying uncontrollably. So you know try that, next time your speaking with someone or next time your telling a story. Bawling your eyes out, it’s a fun way to say someone is crying a lot. So I wanted to make a little announcement to my students out there, to my regular students. I officially finished video podcast #8. So if you’re ready for another one let me know. To the itunes listeners I make a video podcast for my committed students, every two weeks or so. Two or three weeks and I officially opened a YouTube channel to promote the uncensored English podcast and I’m going to put up the first three video podcasts. I’m not going to put up more than three, cause it’s something I really do for my committed students who pay for my lessons. You know to show them I’m grateful to them. But check out those three podcasts up there, there really good learning tools, they got good expressions on them and the stories are fun and interesting and let me know what you think. I’m going to wrap up this podcast, it’s pretty late and I got 7 hours of classes tomorrow. But we got some great guests coming on later in the week. On Wednesday I’m doing another podcast with Gabriel and John Rey. Then a week after that I have a podcast with an artist from Montreal named Hannah. And were also going to be doing a podcast with a podcaster from Australia, he’s going to be talking about Australian English, maybe were going to compare Canadian and Australian English. Alright guys so listen to that podcast one more time, write down the expression, try using it in speech with someone you know or with your teacher. Remember rate or review the podcast if you’ve enjoyed it, help us out a little bit. And I’ll catch you next time on the next episode of unnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnncensored English!

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