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Looking for a different angle on English language podcasts? Keiran the crazy Canadian goes where the other English podcasts don't... and more. Keiran and his native English guests discuss politically incorrect subjects as well as general English language, idioms, expressions, culture and more all while having natural unscripted conversations. This podcasts feature an educational exploration of language ranging from every day expressions, pop culture expressions, explicit language and anything in between. The podcast is geared towards adults students, professionals, university students as well as ESL teachers who want to step out of the "Safe Space" of the English language education community and have a little more fun. Join Keiran and his guests in their down to earth humorous conversations and learn to speak a more universal edgy form of English like a native! English ISN'T always PC!!!
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Jan 25, 2017

Today on the podcast we have an unscripted conversation about current world events for you to challenge your English with. We discuss politics, corruption, the new president and more. Feel free to join us on Sunday for the Uncensored English Café to tell us about your country and the silly issues you face. 

 

*** Transcript *** 

Keiran: All right. Hey, everyone. Welcome to the podcast. It is January the 23rd. It's Wednesday. It's hump day. We're over the week, and I'm not going to waste any time. I got a new guest on the podcast today. This guy's is an old friend of mine. He's a former roommate of mine. He's a French teacher in Mexico. Hey, Julien. How's it going, man?

 

Julien:

Hey there, Keiran. Things are doing pretty good down here. Nice to be on the show. Good to hear you.

 

Keiran:

Yeah, thanks for coming, man. Why don't you just go ahead and tell the listeners a little bit about your story? Who you are and what you're up to in your life right now.

 

Julien:

Sure. My name is Julien, and grew up pretty much right next to Keiran, not too far away. Went to high school together in Montreal and went to university there. Kind of fell into the teacher world, and nine years later I'm here in Mexico. I was teaching in Canada for a few years and kind of felt a little bit of an inkling to go somewhere else and work abroad, and fate had it that I ended up in Mexico. In Mexico City, to be specific. I teach French here in the American school, and it's been a really nice ride coming down here.

 

Keiran:

Nice. Nice. I'm just curious ... I'm not curious. I know this already because I know you, but I'm sure the listeners are going to be a little bit curious because you are fluent, obviously, in English and you're teaching French. Did you learn French growing up or were you raised in French? What's the story there?

 

Julien:

Well, actually, pretty much raised English in the household. My mother's family being English and my dad actually coming from a francophone background where they always prioritized learning English as well. He mostly talked to me in English as well. I've really got to, I guess, credit schooling over the years. I kind of went to Europe and fell in love a bit with French, and wanted to get better at it because we kind of grew up in a predominantly English neighborhood. Made some more French friends and got some French work experience, and just kind of gradually got better at the language just by immersion. What a chance we have in our city, Montreal, that you can kind of just decide to do that, and there's a whole French speaking world there. Eventually, over time I just became kind of good enough that I was able to teach some French second language and now I'm doing that here.

 

Keiran:

Yeah, it's amazing that we can do that. I'm actually doing that right now. I do a few lessons online a week because it's just easy to do it from my house, but then you can just go downtown and go into any bar or go anywhere and meet French people and practice, which is awesome.

 

Julien:

That's it.

 

Keiran:

You mentioned you're in Mexico now. We had a big, fun event on Friday. Trump was officially brought in as the President.

 

Julien:

Yay. [crosstalk 00:02:58] Help us.

 

Keiran:

Yeah, exactly right. Help us, man. I'm curious, what was the sentiment that you felt where you live in the world when it was discovered that he was going to be the next President?

 

Julien:

It was kind of really interesting, if I put it nicely, kind of experience. The night before ... Some of my closest friends here are American, and one of my buddies has a barbecue restaurant. It's kind of a Texan barbecue style kind of restaurant. It kind of became the headquarters for Democrats abroad in Mexico City, and so packed houses for the debates and then on election night everything kind of ... Let's just say the white, blue, and red balloons that were suspended from the ceiling didn't end up falling, so it was kind of pretty dim. People were in shock. People were reacting kind of harshly. I was mostly around Americans at that time.

 

 

Then in school the next morning, working at the American school in Mexico City with a predominantly Mexican student body, it was kind of one of the weirdest days I've ever had to teach because I kind of automatically had to put on the counselor hat. You just kind of heard every student's reaction. One of the girls walked into the class just saying, "We're all fucking screwed." First thing. "Hey, good morning. How are you doing, Isa? Come in take a seat." Some of the others were ... I was touched because one of the girls too, I remember her, Camilla, she was just ... She's a quieter kid, and she expressed to me, "I just don't understand why he hates us this much. How could this all be?" It was kind of like, "Whoa, this is real now," and this is really going to impact these students where they're 15, 16 years old in the coming years and their relationship with the United States. Because a lot of them go study in the United States and have family there. They have two passports.

 

 

I think it was kind of a very interesting place in a sociological kind of perspective to be the day after the election. Then Mexicans in general over here were just in disbelief. I guess they dealed with it pretty well in terms of just making fun of it. They've always kind of made fun of the things that they hate. A lot of pinatas went up, that's for sure.

 

Keiran:

Yeah, it's weird. I kind of thought it was going to happen, but I guess, for us living in Canada ... I wasn't surprised, and I always think, "Well, politics is not really about what's fair or what's right. It's about, I guess ..." To me it kind of swings back and forth, like left wing, right wing. Even under that assumption I just thought that he would win because we had Obama for eight years. Just like it went from Harper to Trudeau, and then it will probably go ... In my mind, it's going to go back to someone terrible. That's just how it is, right?

 

Julien:

Oh, god. Yeah, exactly. That pendulum kind of thing.

 

Keiran:

I don't know. I guess it doesn't impact us like it does them because I think when he's elected people who are kind of ... Some Trump supporters think their racist beliefs are kind of justified now. You've seen a lot more outbreaks in racism and kind of hatred towards immigrants.

 

Julien:

Yeah, definitely, and to their neighbors too. I think overall, Mexicans just feel ... I've never really been in some of the border states where there's that illegal immigration that takes place. I think it's even a different context than from where I live, but at the same time, we're definitely feeling the economic hit here. The peso dropped 20% the day of. Sorry, 12.

 

Keiran:

Wow. That's a lot.

 

Julien:

Sorry. It dropped 12% the day after he was elected, and then recently there's been some gasoline related protests because the government here put the price of gasoline up by 20%, and so the peso fell again. I make pesos, so that's kind of shitty too. It's shitty for the whole country, really.

 

Keiran:

Yeah, it is shitty. What about Mexico itself? Mexico is a country I'm really unfamiliar with. I have a lot of Russian and Brazilian students online, and I know a lot about the political worlds that they live in. What about Mexico? Is it on the same scale of corruptness as all those other terrible things that happen in the world or is better?

 

Julien:

I've been here about four or five years and I still haven't met a single person that's voted for the President at the moment, Enrique Peña Nieto. He's a bit of a tool. I think a lot of people, they know he's incompetent it's just he's like a puppet. He was a governor, but he's married to a soap opera star, and so they're just this kind of glamorous couple. He's good looking. A lot of the lower classes support him just because they take him at face value and they trust the guy. He's a younger guy. "Oh, he's going to care about us," but really anybody that reads pretty up to date stuff and is current with the pulse of what's going on in Mexico, he's just so poorly seen. It's a lot of corruption because it's just a few elite people at the top that really run the show.

 

 

There's been this movement to privatize the oil sector, which is also just different interest groups getting their fair share while the majority of the people are still in a situation where they're taken advantage of. Their tax money's not really going anywhere besides these bank accounts. I don't know if I would say it's as corrupt as some countries or not, but it's definitely a whole different kind of situation than it is in Canada that's for sure.

 

Keiran:

It's hard to understand unless you live in the country I think. There's this weird trend where almost all my Russian students are people who are preparing to live in a new country, so that's why they're polishing up their English. Sometimes I'm like, "How come I don't get ..." Actually, it's not true. I've had one or two Russian students who are really fond of their culture, and that's cool to meet because all the other ones seem to be like, "I just want to get out." Which is weird because we live in Canada, and Canada's the country that everyone wants to go to. You, yourself said, you worked in Canada for few years and then you wanted to leave. Not because you don't like Canada, but I think things just get mundane and you want to experience a cultural change and experience new things.

 

Julien:

Yeah, I think it's a new era with globalization and internet. We get all these images and these accounts from people that have gone to different places. It's almost like people are a lot more keen, and it's definitely more accessible to go travel or move somewhere.

 

Keiran:

Julien, just before we finish up, I'm just wondering, what do you think is going to happen? What's your prediction into the future about how this election will effect ... I don't like to think American elections are going to effect the world, but I guess they're a pretty big military power. What do you think will happen? Do you think it will really change anything or do you think it's just a whole lot of buzz about nothing?

 

Julien:

I guess I have a couple thoughts on that. I think it's affected my life in a lot of ways. I feel like I'm living in a new era, for sure. I'm a little concern of the whole protectionist movement that Trump's espousing. "More trade within the USA, and fuck our partners." That will definitely hurt Mexico if these trends continue where can just tweet and car companies decide not to set up businesses here or big [inaudible 00:11:05] It definitely feels worrisome here, and I'm sure in Canada there's a bit of that too with just our close trading relationship.

 

 

In some way, I feel like the Trump election is also a bit of an awakening. I think people have been very apathetic overall. You see voter turnout in different countries and it's pretty ... I know a vote doesn't solve everything, but I really believe people should vote. If you see people in other countries voting 55, 60%, well, no wonder someone like trump can come to power. I think civil society has to do a little bit more to ... Each one of us just a little bit to just awaken that, "Hey, if we really let things slide they're going to get worse, so you might have to be a little bit more active in some different ways I think."

 

Keiran:

Yeah, I agree with you totally. My whole mentality is I just don't think political leaders are really leaders. They're just ... In some ways our current leader is way better than our other one, and Obama was way better in many other ways, but even in his last speech there was a line he said where he's like, "We can't let countries like Russia and other countries win." To me, it's that mentality that they're pitting us against each other seems to be a huge ... It's so transparently wrong to me.

 

Julien:

That's one of the most unnerving things too lately, is I feel like it's almost like governments want us to hate each other. Our next door neighbors too. It's just we're constantly being pushed around, I feel, and I'm little worried about that, but we can find ways around it hopefully.

 

Keiran:

I think I read somewhere that if there's no problems there's no reason for politics. It's almost like they need to create some issues for them to exist.

 

Julien:

Yeah, for them to be real in our minds too, I guess.

 

Keiran:

Anyways, Julien, thanks so much for coming on here and helping me out with the podcast.

 

Julien:

Great to be on it, man. All the best to you. Good luck with the podcast, and thanks everybody for listening in.

 

Keiran:

Yeah, and I hope that peso pops right back up sooner or later to help you out there.

 

Julien:

Yeah, me too, man.

 

Keiran:

All right. Ciao, man.

 

Julien:

All right, good to talk to you.

Jan 23, 2017

This weekend I took my daughter to her first skating lesson, the problem I had with her lesson is a problem a lot of people have with language schools and one you won't have learning online. We also look at some useful phrasal verbs with "slip".

 

***Transcript***

 

Hey, everyone. How's it going? Welcome to the Uncensored English Podcast for January the 23rd of Monday. How was your weekend? How was your motherfucking weekend? Was it good? Was it average? Was it bad? Was it sad? Was it lonely? Hopefully it wasn't. Mine was a lot of fun. Saturday I had a great time. We did the Uncensored English Study Skills Meetup Group in Montreal in person at Yellow Door Café. It was a lot of fun there. There were six people there. Then, Sunday we did the Uncensored English Meetup in the morning. Then, I just got back from my daughter's skating lessons.

 

 

And going to these skating lessons to me is a really good reminder of why in my opinion it's always better to learn if you can with a private tutor. My daughter was in the level two of the skating class. Level one is basically for people who can't even stand on skates, and then once you get to the point where you can stand and maybe skate a little bit, you move to level two. She can do that, so she technically should be in level two. The class was eight kids and she was by far the weakest kids, which is okay. My problem with the class was that there's eight kids and two teachers, and the teachers are just really inattentive. By inattentive, I mean she's not getting enough attention.

 

 

I watched all the classes in the last session too when she was in level one, and those teachers were fantastic. They were very attentive to all the kids. It's not that she's in the wrong level, it's just that I don't like the teachers. Of course, you don't have that problem when you're learning English or French or Spanish or Italian or whatever online, because if you have a bad teacher, then you can just cut them out of your life. It's a little tougher for me to do that. I noticed the level one class which happens the same time as my daughter's level two class, the teachers are way better. All the kids are at the same level as my daughter, so I think I'm going to try to move her down to level one just because the teachers seem to be better.

 

 

Anyways, enough of me ranting about how I'm unhappy about my daughter's lessons. Today we're going to talk about a very useful phrasal verb, or actually three very useful phrasal verbs with the verb slip. We're going to talk about slip out, slip into and slip by. We're going to start right away with slip out. So I want you guys to think about this. Have you ever been at a party and just really sucked, and it was really boring? It was very dull, and maybe you just didn't connect with the people. You wanted to leave, but you felt kind of uncomfortable leaving, because getting up and leaving would be so much more exciting than everything that is happening, that it would draw attention to yourself. Then, you got to tell people why you're leaving, but you don't really have a reason why you're leaving. You just want to get out of it because it's so boring. This is what we call slipping out. You want to slip out, you want to leave somewhere discretely.

 

 

A while ago I used to go to party with friends, you know. You're always kind of like a team when you're at party with friends. Let's say, "Okay, let's go meet those people over there, or let's go talk to these people." You tell your friend, "Look, I got to a few minutes, so if you want at ride home, you're going to have to come with me." Whenever I was at a party with some people, and I mean with a few friends, and I wasn't having a good time and I was the one who was driving, I would tell me friend, be like, "Look man, as soon as I get a chance, as soon as people are distracted, I'm going to slip out and get out of here." Which means of course I'm going to leave discretely so nobody notices. Then, I'm going to go to a more fun place.

 

 

So do you ever do that? Do you ever have slip out of a party, or slip out of a family dinner, or slip out of some kind of commitment that you have? You're at some kind of activity, and you to leave, but you don't want to draw attention to yourself so you got to do it discretely. What do you have to slip out of? Of course, slipping out of something can also mean to get out of your clothes. I'm going to slip out of these pants as soon as I get home and get into my comfy pajamas. I never say that, because I'm always wearing my pajamas unless I go outside of the house. I generally don't slip out of my clothes very often because I'm always in my comfy clothes.

 

 

All right. The next one we're going to do is slipped into, to slip into something. I generally used to slip into a lot of movies when I was younger. Again, slip into is a lot like slip out. It's doing something discretely. When we were younger, when I was 16, 17, 18, what we used to do is we'd go to a movie. You go, you pay to see your movie. Maybe some Star Wars movie when was 18. Then, after the movie was over, we would slip into another movie and not pay for it. We'd get the old two for the price of one discount. We weren't supposed to do it, but it's pretty easy to slip into an extra movie when you go to the movies. You just go into the next movie and nobody knows, because they never check your ticket once you passed the entrance of a movie theater. They only check your ticket at the front. You can really slip into three or four movies and just spend the whole day there. Probably you wouldn't get caught.

 

 

What about you guys? You guys ever slip into anything? Have you ever slipped into a bar when the bouncer wasn't looking, maybe before you were 18? You slipped into the bar because you weren't old enough to be there and you knew you were going to get carded? Actually, I think those are the only two places I've ever slipped into. A bar and ... No. I'm wrong. I've slipped into a bar. I've slipped into a movie theater, and I've slipped into a section of a sports stadium that wasn't supposed to sit in. I just say there was an empty seat and my tickets weren't as good, so I slipped in when the security guy wasn't watching. That was fun. I don't regret it because I got a good seat, and hey, no one was sitting there so nobody lost. It was a win-win. Okay, so slip out, to leave discretely. Slipped into or to slip into a movie theater is to sneak into the next movie. You slip into the theater when on one's looking.

 

 

Then, we're going to do one more which is slip by. Shit, my dog's barking. You hear that? Hold on a second. I'm going to stop it. All right. The dog's quiet now. The last one we're going to do is slip by. Slip by is a phrasal verb we use to say time has passed quickly. It's really similar to saying time flies, but we can use it in a few little different instances. For example, I remember one time I had a date. This was when I was in university. I was supposed to meet my date at ... I don't know. Let's say 7:30 p.m. at night or something at the subway station. I was just sitting at home watching some TV, having a drink when my phone rang and it was my date. She's like, "Hey, where are you? I'm at the subway station." I was like, "Oh, whoa. What time is it?" She's like, "It's 7:40. You were supposed to be here 10 minutes ago." Then, I said, "Oh, man, I'm sorry. I guess time just slipped by. Time just slipped by really fast."

 

 

I feel like everyday or every year it just feels like time is slipping by faster and faster. You know? You wake up in the morning and look at yourself in the mirror, and you just look a little bit older, a little bit uglier. You know? You ever feel like time is slipping by too fast? That's it guys. Slip by to mean time is moving fast. You better watch out or your life will slip by. It will go by very quickly. All right, guys that's the end of this podcast.

 

 

Again, I'm going to recap. We did slip out, to leave a party discretely or to leave a place discretely. You could slip out of a class while your teacher is not looking. Then, we did slipped into, to slip into a bar means to go in or to sneak into the bar so that the security or the management or whoever doesn't see you. We can also say that people sneak into stores and steal things when nobody's looking, or the robbers slipped into the bank by the back entrance and robbed the bank. To slip in or to slip into means to sneak into someplace or to go in there probably when you usually don't have permission, just like I used to slip into movie theaters. Lastly again, to slip by. Time slips by very quickly everyday. The older you get, the more it seems time is just slipping by, time is just slipping away.

 

 

All right, guys. That's the end of the podcast. I know I haven't had any guests on recently, but we got a few lined up for this week. We have a new guest, my friend, Julian who's in Mexico. He's a French teacher. He's a native English speaker. He's going to be a lot of fun. We're going to talk about parties. We're going to talk about traveling. We're going to just get to know him. We've got Anna coming back on soon. We've got Max coming on. We've got Edward coming on. We got a lot of great topics for you. I just want to let you guys know on Sunday, we're going to do the Uncensored English Café, and we're going to be talking about what The Donald being elected, coming into power, means for the rest of us. Are we all going in the wrong direction? Who knows? Join that conversation on Sunday. I'll catch you on the next episode of Uncensored English.

Jan 21, 2017

The Canadian Prime Minister is only answering questions in French....  we talk about why and if it's appropriate. How many hours does it take to move from an intermediate English speaker to an advanced level? We talk about that too

 

Sign up for Sunday's  Uncensored English Cafe meetup on Skype here

https://www.meetup.com/uncensoredenglishcafe/events/236931916/ 

Jan 18, 2017

Story telling is a big part of all of our lives and a great way to learn and practice a language. Today I invite you to share some stories in our Uncensored English Café on Sunday, and I share one of my own... but I don't tell you the end! That's up to you, shoot me an email at keiran@uncensoredenglish.ca to let me know what you think happens. 

 

*** Transcript *** 

 

Hey, how's it going guys? It is January the 18th, and it is frosty outside in Montreal. It's chilly today, it's a little cold outside. It's hump day, right? You're halfway through the week so that's a good thing. Actually, I'm kind of lying. It's not hump day, it's Monday for me. It's definitely not ... Actually it might not even be frosty outside today. Today is Monday. What the weather will be like on Wednesday, I don't know. I mean I could find it out, I could go online and look it up. I'm not going to do that. How's it going? How are you doing? We had our first uncensored English café this past Sunday. It was a lot of fun. We surprisingly had only two listeners in there, so there was room for three more. I don't know where you people were. You missed out on the fun. It was a lot of fun.

 

 

We had Barry from, he's from Montreal but he's originally born from Guinea. We had Mace, she is from Syria originally, but now she's living in Tampa. We talked about what grinds my gears, what pisses me off. It was a bucket full of fun. It was a good ... I was surprised there wasn't five people. I was disappointed in you guys, to be quite honest. Doesn't matter, just means Barry and Mace got more speaking time. We're going to do it again this Sunday, same time, same place. There's still a few spots open, go check it out if you want to join. I actually did get a message saying, someone said it's too early for them. What I'm going to do is I'm going to switch up the time of it every once in awhile so we can get different people every week. We're going to have a lot of fun.

 

 

We're also going to have a meet up in Montreal in person on Saturday at The Yellow Door, which is near the Miguel Ghetto. This is going to be a little different. I'm going to be giving out some audio files to help you guys learn English. If you're in Montreal you can come to that. We're going to be going over self study skills, so I can help you move forward in your English. As always in return, all you gotta do is give me a sweet little iTunes review. Wow, it's not that much.

 

 

Okay, so next Sunday we're going to be talking about adventures, traveling around the world. Good, the bad, the ugly. Your life experiences, great conversations. We're going to have a lot of fun. I thought ... Because that's what we're going to do on Sunday. I'm going to talk about a little adventure I had when I was in Mongolia today. I'm not going to tell you how the adventure ended. What I'm going to do is I'm going to leave it open for you guys to get back to me, to tell you what you think happened. You're going to be able to do that by writing me an email at Keiran@UncensoredEnlish.CA. That is K-E-I-R-A-N, Keiran, @UncesoredEnglish.CA.

 

 

Let's get this story started. This happened about six years ago. I was living in a city called, "Darkhan-Uul." It is in the north, central north part of Mongolia. It is close to the border with Russia, close to Lake Baikal if you know what that is. It's the largest fresh water lake in the world. Actually funny story about Lake Baikal. I try to avoid bringing it up with my wife, because as are many people around the world, my wife is ... She loves her culture, she loves where she comes from, she loves Mongolia. Apparently according to my wife, and I actually looked this up online. I did see a few articles about it. Apparently Lake Baikal used to belong to Mongolia. What happened was at some kind of political meeting between,  I guess the Mongolian president, and the Russian President. The Mongolian president offered it to Russia as a gift. However I believe he was drunk, that's what my wife says. That seems to be what the internet says. Who knows, just don't talk about that if you meet my wife, okay? She'll talk about Mongolian history forever.

 

 

All right, so I was living in Darkhan-Uul with my wife. At that time my wife was about seven months pregnant. Basically she looked like a penguin, as seven month pregnant women tend to look like. Big belly, and they tend to waddle. They don't walk normally anymore because most of their weight is in the center. One day we went to the grocery store. We were going to buy some things to celebrate. I forgot what we were celebrating. I think it's cause we got all of our Visa papers or something like that, or she got the letter of acceptance from the Guinean government.

 

 

We went to go to the grocery store to celebrate, and we got a baguette, and a bottle of wine. Wooh-wee, it was going to be a romantic evening except my wife was pregnant, so she couldn't drink cause she's a good mom. If you drink when you have a baby in you, you're probably not a good mom. We did that, and we were leaving the grocery store. Then we were walking out the entrance there, the little path to the main road. There was a group of about six ... I can't remember, I think it was about six or seven men who were just loitering there. By loitering we mean they were just standing around, they weren't doing anything. They weren't working, they weren't walking by, they were just hanging out there. Kind of like what teenagers do at malls, you know? They don't have anything to do, they just loiter. A lot of the times you see, outside of stores they'll put a sign that says, "No loitering, you can't stand around here and do nothing."

 

 

Except these group of guys weren't doing nothing, I think they were drinking a bottle of Vodka I'm pretty sure. Whatever, we walked by this group of guys. Then one of the guys said something, which I didn't really hear because Mongolian is kind of a guttural language. They don't open their mouth very much. My wife turned back and said something angrily. I knew something bad had been said. This is where I'm going to kind of pause the story. Once my wife said something angrily, those six or seven men who were all just hanging, kind of leaning on a railing or sitting, they all stood up and kind of turned towards us. I'm going to live it right here, and I'm going to let you guess. What did the guys say to my wife, and what did y wife say to the group of men. More importantly, what would you have done in that situation? What do you think I should have done in that situation?

 

 

We're going to listen to your answers. Again, email me what you thought happened. You can either write an email, or you can send an audio recording of an email. You can even send a video if you want to introduce yourself to me, that would be cool. I like to hear from you guys. We're going to talk about the result of that story on Saturday.

 

 

Now, last little thing. Actually no, that's it. There's nothing else to say guys. I'm going to catch you guys for the Saturday podcast on Saturday, obviously. Which I'll probably record tonight. Have a great week guys. Remember, the transcript is up there for this one. Rate it, review it, subscribe if you're new to the podcast. We'll catch you next time on the next podcast of Uncensored English.

 

 

 

Jan 16, 2017

Today we have a fun fluffy episode for a change. Anna and I discuss onamatopeia, in other words, words we use for sounds that sound like the sound.

 

***Transcript***

 

Keiran:

How's it going everyone? It's good to be back on the podcast. Today we have our favorite Australian.

 

Anna:

Oh stop. Stop it. Stop it. Really, honestly, stop it. Keep going. Keep going.

 

Keiran:

You like it. You want the flattering.

 

Anna:

I deny nothing.

 

Keiran:

Yeah, we got Anna back on the podcast. How are you doing Anna?

 

Anna:

Very well, thanks Keiran. How are you doing?

 

Keiran:

I'm doing well. I'm doing well. And uh what's new with you these days? It's been quite a long time since we've talked.

 

Anna:

I don't know. Just the usual really. Teaching, singing, having a laugh. What about you?

 

Keiran:

I don't know. It's my day off. It's a Wednesday, so it's basically my day where I don't get paid but I work anyways. It's fun because it's the passion project stuff. So uh today, we had a fun topic we've chosen by your suggestion. I've never done this, so I was like, "Yeah. Why not?" Actually, I don't even think I covered this when I was teaching in ESL schools, but it is a fun topic. We're going to do onomatopoeias.

 

Anna:

I don't know if there is a plural of it. I think it's just onomatopoeia always.

 

Keiran:

Is it just onomatopoeia?

 

Anna:

I think it is.

 

Keiran:

That's a good question.

 

Anna:

I think it's a Greek word or something.

 

Keiran:

It's non-countable.

 

Anna:

There you go. It's a non-c- It is a Greek word. There you go.

 

Keiran:

Is it?

 

Anna:

Onomatopoeia. It is, and it sometimes turned into late Latin according to this etymology that I'm looking at.

 

Keiran:

I would feel bad making it plural, but like I just said, I've never done it. I guess you get to learn your first time, right?

 

Anna:

There you go. See, I taught you something today Keiran.

 

Keiran:

Yes. Thank you. Before we get into it, can you explain what is onomatopoeia?

 

Anna:

Onomatopoeia is basically a word that sounds like the thing it describes. So if you think about, for example, animals sounds are a good way to think about it. You got the cat going, "Meow," and so we say, "Meow". When you have a cow it goes, "Mooorh." We don't really have that sound in English, so we say, "Moo." It sounds close to what you're describing. And of course, as we'll see, there are all different types of onomatopoeia that describe different sound effects or things that you hear out and about.

 

Keiran:

Right, I guess the people that are listening could also think of the old school Batman TV shows. Whenever they would hit someone, it would go like, "Paff" or like "Smack" or something, and they have the-

 

Anna:

Pow.

 

Keiran:

Pow.

 

Anna:

Bam.

 

Keiran:

All those punches that made pow sounds.

 

Anna:

Exactly. Exactly, that's spot on.

 

Keiran:

Let's go back to what you just said. Let's start with animal sounds. You said, "Moo" and "Meow." The funny thing is is I think we all have onomatopoeia that I guess we're raised with. My wife and I always have this argument about dogs. The onomatopoeia that we have for dogs is bark, bark bark, woof woof, or ruff ruff. And when I went to Mongolia, why wife was just like, "What are you? It's not 'bark'. It's 'how how how'. It's 'how how how'. All the dogs go 'how how how'". I guess we all have our own.

 

Anna:

I'm just trying to think like, "How how how how." Yeah, there you go. Yeah, yeah, okay.

 

Keiran:

A dog can make that sound I guess. It's just funny, because I think there's some that are universal like cows. Everyone knows a cow goes, "Moooooo".

 

Anna:

Even in German they say, "Kuh macth moo".

 

Keiran:

They say what?

 

Anna:

"Kuh" which means cow, "macth", does, "moo".

 

Keiran:

Cow does moo. Right.

 

Anna:

Kuh macth moo. It rhymes in German which makes it funnier.

 

Keiran:

Yeah yeah that does make it. Everything that rhymes is always funnier and more enjoyable. That's dogs. See, we had dog, bark, woof, and if you're in Mongolia apparently the dogs go, "How how how."

 

Anna:

They really don't know how to do anything. They're just like, "How? How?"

 

Keiran:

"How? How? How do I do this?" What other ones do you got? What are common on your end or the earth?

 

Anna:

Yeah uh, I really want to talk about one, because it's from Australia and I think it's really interesting which was an advertising campaign in Australia. As you may know, Australia is known for being a very hot country. We also have a giant hole in the ozone layer over our country. There's a lot of skin cancer basically in Australia because of the strength of the sun. It's not just hot; it's actually the UV rays are stronger. The government started a campaign, and it was called, "Slip. Slop. Slap."

 

Keiran:

What do these words mean?

 

Anna:

You have no idea what I'm- Slip is like when you slide something onto you. In this case, it was meant to represent a t-shirt. You don't go out with a bare chest. The idea is you wear a t-shirt when you go to the beach or something like that. That's slip on a shirt. Slip is the first one.

 

Keiran:

Slip on a shirt. Right.

 

Anna:

Slip on the a shirt. The second one was slop, and slop we normally associate with liquids or food that is runny like a stew or a soup or something like that. That idea of the liquid moving around. Slop, slop, slop, slop, slop.

 

Keiran:

I'm even thinking of like pig slop. It's a runny liquid, right?

 

Anna:

That too. Here though they're referring to sunscreen. They'd say, "Slop on some sunscreen." You slop it. Go slop onto your skin and then rub it in so there's a lot of it. The last one is slap, and slap is normally actually used to describe when you hit someone with an open palm. I'm sure you know that. In this case, they're talking about slapping on a hat. Just quickly putting a hat on your head so it's like a slap. It just goes, "chuk" straight onto your head. Altogether, they said, "Slip. Slop. Slap." This was a very common saying in Australia to promote sun safety.

 

Keiran:

It's funny about Australia that you mention that, because when I was in Australia was when I really got my education about the sun. I think it's just because, like you guys said, you guys have stronger ... You have a hole over the ozone. I was always the person who tanned. I was like, "Aw. I'm gonna go tan. I love tanning." After I went to Australia was I like-

 

Anna:

Oh, you sweet summer child.

 

Keiran:

I know. Then I'm like, "Oh my God. This is bad. I gotta stop doing this."

 

Anna:

We learn young. We learn very young in Australia. That's true.

 

Keiran:

Good. "Slip. Slop. Slap." It was slip on a shirt, which is the sound of putting on a shirt on quickly. Like the whish, yeah? Then slop. Slop on the sunscreen. Then slap on a hat. Dependent on how much sun cream is in the bottle I guess. Then slap on the hat, right?

 

Anna:

Yeah. Just slap it off.

 

Keiran:

That's great. Slap brings me to the next one, and I like to use this one with my students. You know when you're having a conversation, from time to time, you guys talk about something that's important in your life. I think we've all had experiences where someone offends us or someone rubs us the wrong way. Just for fun, just for humor, I just say, "Well, you know, next time that happens," and then I just give a visual of my hand and put my other hand on it, "You just go up to that person, and you just slap them." I'm honestly joking, but that always just makes the students so happy to know that we can pretend to get our revenge. You don't actually do it.

 

Anna:

I don't know. I think the last time we spoke, I mentioned I actually did slap someone as well. Sometimes ...

 

Keiran:

That's probably one of those rare times where you got to reinforce your boundaries, right?

 

Anna:

Yeah, that's true.

 

Keiran:

Most of the times, we don't want to. I've slapped people too before. One time I slapped a bouncer at a night club. I think it was warranted. I worked at many night clubs, and this guy just ... The club was filled with our staff, 120 of our staff members, and I was going outside. I was on my phone, and I was standing in the doorway. He just gets in and he just grabbed me by under the arm and yanked me out of the doorway. I got in his face. I'm like, "Dude, you could've just told me, you know?" Bouncers, sometimes they're great people, but sometimes they have big egos. I was really drunk, and I just slapped him the face. I bitch slapped him like "psh". I remember his face was just like ... He just looked at me right away like he was going to kill me. I was lucky because there was about 20 other guys there who were with me, and they kind of stopped the thing from escalating. It was a good slap sound.

 

Anna:

It sounds like it. It's also for a less violent situation is for a high five.

 

Keiran:

The smack or the slap of a high five. Right.

 

Anna:

You just say, "Give me five." We don't say, "Slap me five."

 

Keiran:

I'd say, "Give me five" or "High five".

 

Anna:

It is a slap sound.

 

Keiran:

We did dog sounds. We did slap. We did "Slip. Slap. Slap." "Slip. Slop. Slap." Slap. Dogs sounds. Anything else before we wrap this up, Anna? What else do you go in your-

 

Anna:

Yeah, actually. Your talking about Batman before made me think of two that are a little bit similar but slightly different, which is bam and bang. Bam is like the sound we normally associate with two heavy objects of some sort colliding with each other. For example, if something like a car runs into a wall, we might say, "Bam." Like, "Whoa." Like it hit it really hard. Bam. There's also a famous "Futurama" reference, I don't know if you know this, when there's a cook and he's got this special spice he uses. Every time he puts it into his soup he goes, "Bam." I think put it into the vernacular for use now for whenever you really do something really well you just go, "Bam. I did it." Yeah, like awesome.

 

 

Bang is kind of similar but different. We usually use it for the sound of explosions. Rather than two things colliding together, it's the sound of something exploding apart, this bang. Like we say, "The Big Bang" for example. The beginning of the universe is that example of something exploding out. That big sound.

 

Keiran:

The exploding of a star or something. Right. Bang. Bang. Bam. I think I do use bam sometimes. Just when you do something well. I'm just like-

 

Anna:

Exactly. You're like. "Yeah, awesome. Bam."

 

Keiran:

"Bam. Got it done." Exactly. Bam

 

Anna:

Nailed it.

 

Keiran:

Bang, bang, bang. Bang. The other thing bang is is guns.

 

Anna:

Guns.

 

Keiran:

Guns. I was just thinking of the song, "Bang Bang."

 

Anna:

"Bang Bang."

 

Keiran:

I love that song.

 

Anna:

It's a great song.

 

Keiran:

That's it. Let's wrap this up. We did onomatopoeia. We did dog sounds. We laughed at the cultural difference between dogs.

 

Anna:

How, how, how.

 

Keiran:

How, how. Those confused Mongolian dogs.

 

Anna:

It's like, "Fetch the ball. Fetch the ball." "How. How."

 

Keiran:

Then we did, "Slip. Slop. Slap." Which was? One more time.

 

Anna:

Slip on a shirt. Slop on some sunscreen. Slap on a hat.

 

Keiran:

Then we did smack. No we didn't do smack. We did bam and bang. Bam.

 

Anna:

Bam and bang.

 

Keiran:

Bang like an explosion and bam.

 

Anna:

Bang can mean one other thing Keiran.

 

Keiran:

Yeah, we can go down that dirty road. It doesn't really mean. I mean, it means it, but it doesn't make the sound. I think we would use smack more for that. Maybe we'll talked more about the "Smack, smack, smack" in another episode.

 

Anna:

We won't talk about the slop in that case.

 

Keiran:

We'll leave it to the smack and the ...

 

Anna:

Smack and the bang.

 

Keiran:

On that hilarious note, we just want remind you guys if you want to have a hilarious and fun and engaging lesson with Anna, you can get in touch with her. What's the website they go to schedule a session with you Anna?

 

Anna:

I'm on italki as well, so it's italki or italki.com/anna.m.

 

Keiran:

Anna.m.

 

Anna:

That's m for Mary, not N, Nellie.

 

Keiran:

Italki.com/anna, A-N-N-A, .m for Mary. Thanks so much for coming on again and making this another hilarious episode.

 

Anna:

Of course. I'm sure it won't be the last time.

 

Keiran:

We'll catch you next time Anna.

 

Anna:

Absolutely. Thanks again Keiran.

 

Keiran:

Ciao.

 

Keiran:

I close it.

Jan 14, 2017

Reading a foreign language can sometimes be slow and tedious. Today we discuss some reading techniques to help you retain more, we also talk about UE Café and more!

 

 

Jan 11, 2017

In today's podcast we look at the insanity of how movie theaters treat their clients with a few comical comparisons. We also discuss a hilarious method one of my students used to make a major correction to his English. Remember we're also kicking off our first Uncensored English Café at meetup. com, https://www.meetup.com/uncensoredenglishcafe/events/236790195/ only 3 spots left. 

 

*** Transcript***

 

Hey everyone, how's it going? Welcome to Wednesday! It's Wednesday. It's hump day. How you doing? Hope you're doing well. Hope you're doing great. Hope you're doing dandy, meaning good of course. I'm doing fantastic. It's actually Tuesday on my side right now but you guys are gonna hear this on Wednesday likely. I just had such a great morning and I was so happy to see one of my students who has just made huge progress since we've started. I noticed today that he has completely eliminated, not completely, almost completely eliminated a huge mistake he was making before, a huge grammatical mistake. I was just so proud of him, man. It just goes to show that if you work hard and if you work smart, you can progress in your English quickly. He hasn't been doing English lessons that long.

 

 

I asked him, "Hey man, have you done anything else to get over this mistake that you were making?", and he had been doing something. He had this amazing tip. I was just like, "man, this guy is such a smart student". He said, I'm just gonna give the credit to him right now because I know he doesn't care, Alex, one of my students, Alex, he told me that when he has some kind of time waster he does in his life, he makes sure that it's useful. Instead of just going online and writing on Facebook in Russian, maybe he's finding something to do in English.

 

 

He had a very funny one which I like particularly. I think it was hilarious. He goes on a website called 9GAG. I think it's a kind of comedy based website, I'm not really sure. I'm gonna go there right now and check it out. Basically he gets into arguments with people online. If you make a grammatical mistake, people mock you, so he has really good motivation to win his arguments. He improved, man, and he got rid of that mistake he was making. Hey, Alex, give yourself a pat on the back again. Good job, keep going man. It's great to see people improving like that.

 

 

Before I get deeper into the podcast, I already probably announced this in the intro, I'm gonna do it again, we got the first Uncensored English Conversation Café on Sunday. You can join it by going to the Meetup group and RSVPing. There's only room for five people when we start it so you better be there on time. You gotta review a podcast first to be a part of the group. You gotta go to iTunes and write me a review and confirm it and don't just press the stars. I mean, write something, write something thoughtful. "Hey Keiran, I like this podcast because A, B, C, blah, blah, blah" and confirm that or send it or whatever button you have to press. I gotta see it on my end on iTunes. Then we're gonna have a one hour conversation about what grinds your gears, argh, about your country. What pisses you off about your culture. Remember, this is not a chance to attack other cultures, other countries, other religions. It's gotta be about your own. We're laughing at ourselves here, we're not laughing at others. Of course, you can laugh at me when I make fun of my culture, but you can't just go shit on people. If you want to shit on people, just go do it on any other random website. That's pretty much what 90 percent of the internet is.

 

 

All right, today we're just gonna talk about a few things. I'm gonna give you guys some ideas for the Uncensored English Café that's gonna happen on Sunday, for those of you who are gonna join us. For those of you who are not gonna join us, it's just basically gonna be a review on Monday's podcast which is good because if you want to learn and retain things, you gotta review it. That's just basic.

 

 

I'm not sure if you guys noticed, but Monday's podcast, it took me about I think three or four attempts for Max and I to actually get that podcast done, which is very strange. Usually, the podcasts are just one offs. By a one off, I mean we just do it one attempt. We don't have to record it several, several times, but on Monday, we didn't record it on Monday, we recorded it before Monday, when we tried to record it we were both just in such low energy states that every time we did a podcast, I just couldn't. I was like "no, this is not good enough. We both have low energy. It's boring. I don't want people to listen to this garbage!" It was terrible, so we recorded it several times. Even in the beginning it started a little slow, but I know it picked up at the end and it good content in it so I published that one.

 

 

We're gonna review it again today. I'm gonna talk about something I did over the holidays. I went to see two movies. I'm wondering if you guys have gone to see movies lately. The two movies that I saw were, I know I count pronounce this, 'Moana', 'Moana', it's not an English name. 'Moana' is the kids movie about the little island girl who has to save her island and I guess the whole world. She has the help of this demigod to do it. The other movie I saw was 'Sing'. It's like a musical for kids, another animated movie. I know what you're thinking. You're probably thinking, "Keiran, is all you see kids movies?", and yes, pretty much that's all I see. I don't see anything else for the last four years. Every single friggin' movie I've seen has been a kids movie.

 

 

I've noticed a strange pattern in the kids movies, I wonder if you have, I don't even think it's patterns in kids movies, it's patterns in general. It seems like every single movie I see, the underlying message is "you gotta find your path in life and follow it and then everything will work out!" I gotta be honest. These movies get to me a little bit. I always have this moment in the movie where I'm like, "Oh my God, he's doing it. He's accomplishing his dream!" It touches you in an emotional way for a second but can't they come up with a different storyline, man? It's the same thing in every one. I don't know.

 

 

Anyways, that's not what grinds my gears. I'm not gonna shit on the movies. I actually liked both the movies. I think they're, there was not really a deep meaning in either of them, or a deep message or anything, but they were nice. They were fun. They were entertaining.

 

 

My problem is the movie theater. I think I'm becoming way more anal about this now that I'm older and I work full time and I have less free time, but the movie theater in Canada is not a cheap place. I'm gonna go with my wife and my daughter. We each get tickets. My ticket is like 11 or 12 dollars, I think. Then, if we're getting the 3D movie, which now most of the movies are 3D movies, they're gonna tack on I think like an extra 3 bucks per ticket. Basically, I'm paying for four tickets. What really grinds my gears about this is that the 3D movies themselves are complete bullshit. There are no 3D effects in these movies. I don't know if you've noticed this, but maybe in the beginning they put like one or there's nothing at all. What they do is they just, if you don't have the glasses on, the movie is just slightly out of focus. Basically you're paying the 3D price to get a normal movie.

 

 

That really grinds my gears because I remember the first time I saw a 3D movie was like, I think it was about 10 years ago with my friend and we saw the, what was it? What's that TV show where those guys always do stupid things and hurt themselves? Oh no, I can't remember. Hold on, I'm gonna find it. Gimme a second. Gonna look it up online. This is the benefit of doing a podcast while I'm at my computer. Jackass, yeah, it was the Jackass movie. It was the Jackass movie. It was awesome. The 3D effects were awesome. It was totally worth the extra money. All these other movies are complete bullshit. There's no 3D effects, they're just juicing us. They're just charging us the 3D effect and they're not giving you the extra movie, the extra effects. That's one thing that grinds my gears.

 

 

Here's the other thing that grinds my gears about movie theaters is the previews. Man, the previews are so annoying. You go to pay for a movie, and the movie says it's gonna start at 3:20 but then you've gotta sit through 30 to 45 minutes of previews. Doesn't that piss you off? I know some people like the previews. Every once in a while there's a preview there that is interesting to you, but here's the thing, 90 percent of movies are garbage. 90 percent of the previews, even if you think they're good, those movies are gonna be garbage. You're paying to see a movie you want to see and then they're just saying, "Well, you can see the movie, but before that, look at all this crap." I don't know. I find that's kind of disrespectful. I think we're just used to it. I think most of you out there are like, "the previews are good, I like the previews".

 

 

Think about this, let's imagine this in another situation. Let's imagine you went to a restaurant, okay. You go out with your boyfriend, your girlfriend, your husband, your wife, your family, a friend, whatever. You go to a restaurant. You sit down, they bring you the menu, you order your meal, you wait 15, 20, 30 minutes, however long it usually takes. Then, before they bring you your meal, they bring you food that they don't serve at the restaurant. They just show it to you and they tell you about it and they talk about it for about 5 or 10 minutes and then they take it away. Isn't that fuckin' retarded? Wouldn't you be pissed off? You'd be like, "No, just give me the food I ordered. That's why I came here. I didn't come here to see this other food. It's a Thai restaurant. I wanted Thai food. Why are you showing me Indian food before I eat my Thai food." You want to see Star Wars. You came there to see Star Wars. Show me Star Wars, don't show me about some chick flick that's gonna happen two months down the road. That makes sense right? That's what grinds my gears about movie theaters. That's what pisses me off about movie theaters.

 

 

I hope if you guys are listening to this and you're gonna do the Uncensored English Café on Sunday morning, that this gives you an idea of something you can use. We're gonna have a great conversation, one hour long. One hour long with friends. We're gonna talk about what pisses us off, what grinds our gears. Think about a topic if you're coming and remember to go on iTunes and give us a review. Type in your thoughts, click it. You gotta do that before you do the Uncensored English Café.

 

 

I want to do one more example, one more example about how fuckin' stupid it is with these movie theaters. Let's imagine another scenario. Screw restaurants. Let's imagine you go clothes shopping. I hate clothes shopping already. I do it like once a year, max. Let's say you gotta go clothes shopping, you gotta go buy some new pants. You go, you find your pants. You try on your pants and you get them. You're going to the cash and you're about to pay. You're about to give the lady your card or the man your card, but they guy says, "Okay, before you want to pay, before we pay, before we just run this through, I just want to tell you about this great new fashion line we have coming out next month. Carol, can you come help me and show off the new skirt we're gonna be selling?" Then some woman comes and shows you all these clothes that you can't buy right now and you can buy in the future. You haven't asked about them but they're just gonna shove it in front of your face. That's what they're doing at movie theaters. I don't know. It pisses me off. It grinds my gears.

 

 

I think that's it guys. I'm gonna wrap this one up. We're gonna see you on Saturday. We're doing the storytelling challenge. That's gonna be fun. Don't forget about that. Sunday, if you're up for the Uncensored English Café, don't wait, there's only I think three more spots left, two of them are gone. Go on the group, join, RSVP it if you want to come and write that review for us on iTunes for Uncensored English Podcast. That's it, guys. We'll catch you on the next podcast of Uncensored English.

Jan 9, 2017

Today on Uncensored English we discuss things that grind our gears. Max the American is back on and we have a fun convo about all those silly inconveniences in life. Transcript available and don't forget to sign up for the Uncensored English Cafe on Sunday.

 

Keiran:

Hey Max, how's it going man?

 

Max:

Super good. How are you doing Keiran.

 

Keiran:

I'm doing good. I'm doing good. It's been a while since you were on the podcast. You were on here back in December, early December, I think you did the storytelling challenge with Pavel.

 

Max:

Yeah. Yeah, that was a lot of fun.

 

Keiran:

What have you been up to since then?

 

Max:

Since then I've gone on a trip. I'm in the United States right now. Mostly just continuing working. I guess everybody just has to work all the time. Besides that, having a trip home right now. It's pretty fun.

 

Keiran:

Basically, same shit, different day, but you're at home instead of in Montreal.

 

Max:

Yes sir.

 

Keiran:

All right, nice. Okay, so today I'm excited to have you back on the podcast helping me. You said you were going to help me do a podcast this morning and that got delayed.

 

Max:

Got delayed a lot. Got delayed a lot.

 

Keiran:

Got delayed a a lot, yeah.

 

Max:

Yeah, yeah.

 

Keiran:

First it was your fault.

 

Max:

I needed ... For my meeting. I had a meeting to do.

 

Keiran:

Yeah, you had a legitimate reason.

 

Max:

Yeah, I'm very important.

 

Keiran:

Right, and then it was my fault.

 

Max:

What was your reason?

 

Keiran:

My reason was I was too tired because I was emotionally drained from being angry that I was experiences technical difficulties with my podcast.

 

Max:

Right, right. It wasn't uploading your actual podcasts.

 

Keiran:

Well, I uploaded it. It just didn't display it on the iTunes news feeds and that's really bad for me because then people won't find my podcasts and people who are listening won't find it. That brings us to our topic for the today, which is it pisses me off. It really pissed me off.

 

Max:

Yep, pisses me off.

 

Keiran:

I could also say, we could also say ... What's another idiom for something that frustrates you?

 

Max:

Grinds my gears.

 

Keiran:

Grinds your ... What grinds your gears man?

 

Max:

Oh man, needy bosses, controlling bosses grinds my gears. I'm pretty sure I've complained about bosses before so people will remember maybe.

 

Keiran:

Was that grinding your gears this morning when you had your meeting?

 

Max:

A bit, because I woke up at 8:00 for a meeting and there was somebody else in there doing it already and I was like, why would you put both of us here? Only one of us had to be here. One of us could've slept until 9:00, like a lazy bastard like I am, but no, I was awake. I was awake.

 

Keiran:

You know what also grinds my gears is that you have to wake up at 8:00 for a morning meeting.

 

Max:

Oh yeah. It used to be 7:30, had to be at the office already.

 

Keiran:

Yeah.

 

Max:

I smartened up and started calling while I was commuting. That's a smart trick. All you guys can use that, all the listeners. Call into your meeting with your personal cell phone. It's worth the minutes.

 

Keiran:

So what's your call? You just say, "Oh sorry, I'm in the car. There's traffic. Don't worry, I'll be there in a few minutes." Then you boss is like, "Max, you're grinding my gears. Why are you always late?"

 

Max:

Hahaha "You grind my gears so much you're fired. You're fired." I don't know. They just hear this though, whenever I unmute my phone in the bus, all they hear is brrrrrrrrrr from the bus engine going off in the back.

 

Keiran:

Right, yeah. Oh man Max.

 

Max:

Oh Keiran, what what what pisses you off besides your tech?

 

Keiran:

Well, I think what pisses me off is when there's a technical problem that I can't solve. That really grinds my gears or that pisses me off. When it's my problem and I've caused it I'm not upset because I'm like, "You know what? I'm the cause. I can resolve it.", but if I've paid money for a podcasting service and my podcast, I've created it, I've edited it, I've uploaded it, I made it all nice and pretty and I put a thumbnail for the picture and everything and I upload it and nothing happens to it, that really fucking pisses me off or grinds my gears.

 

Max:

Right. When it's something that you're paying for up front?

 

Keiran:

Yeah.

 

Max:

You're mad that it's not doing what it should be?

 

Keiran:

Yeah, exactly. It's frustrating because all these companies now online, there's no one to contact.

 

Max:

Oh.

 

Keiran:

Whenever you have a problem you just sent a help email and then they'll get back to you in 24 hours.

 

Max:

You can't call? You can't call and be like, "Hey, let's fix this right now."

 

Keiran:

Yeah, there's no contact number because they don't want to pay people and a call center to talk to you, you know?

 

Max:

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, it's also hard to hire. A lot of people get pissed off working in a call center.

 

Keiran:

Right. Yeah, exactly. Call centers are terrible jobs. I've done those. You don't want to work in a call center.

 

Max:

I never did it but I heard stories.

 

Keiran:

Is pisses me off and grinds my gears, are those completely interchangeable in your mind?

 

Max:

This pisses ... Yeah, totally. This pisses me off is like saying ... Well, one's stronger but they have the same general idea.

 

Keiran:

Which is stronger? For the listeners out there.

 

Max:

It pisses me off is way stronger.

 

Keiran:

Yeah, it is very strong. That makes me very, very angry, extremely angry, right?

 

Max:

Yeah, yeah.

 

Keiran:

Like when we were ...

 

Max:

It's almost ... Yeah?

 

Keiran:

Go ahead.

 

Max:

It's almost like the equivalent of Caps Lock online. It's a jump.

 

Keiran:

Oh yeah, when people write messages all in caps. That grinds my gears. I'm like, "Really? Do you need to yell your point online? No one can hear." I have a friend who everything he writes is in caps.

 

Max:

Oh no.

 

Keiran:

He's the only exception because he just speaks loudly. I think he's actually transferred his personality over online really well, you know?

 

Max:

Gosh, it's kind of like how a dog would type online. "HEY!", all in capital letters.

 

Keiran:

What pisses you off man? What's grinding your gears in your life right now, besides your early morning meetings?

 

Max:

What else makes me upset? It's hard to travel. Ticket prices are really high. If you want to travel somewhere even close by, if you're not a few months in advance, it's still going to cost you several hundred dollars.

 

Keiran:

Yeah, you know what? It's not that it's hard to travel. It's just that you live in the wrong place.

 

Max:

Oh, what do you mean?

 

Keiran:

If you were in Europe you could get a flight ticket to almost anywhere for under a hundred bucks, but you're in the US, Canada. There's just nowhere you can go without paying $500, $600 for a round trip.

 

Max:

No, I agree, and it pisses me off that that's the situation that I'm in. I agree that it's easier and cheaper to travel elsewhere, but it still sucks.

 

Keiran:

Is there anything that grinds your gears about your family?

 

Max:

I'm staying at their house right now, so no. Everything is perfect. I love them all.

 

Keiran:

Really?

 

Max:

No, okay, I got one. I got one. I do love my family.

 

Keiran:

Come on man, vent. Vent for the people.

 

Max:

It pisses me off when we're all watching our own Netflix and then it slows down and stops. It's just like, "Stop watching TV!" You go and talk to each other and try to stop the bandwidth from being all used up.

 

Keiran:

Yeah. Yeah, I know what you're talking about. That used to happen during my Skype sessions with my students during the summer.

 

Max:

Oh no.

 

Keiran:

My wife would be not at school and she'd just be like watching YouTube videos and I'm like, "Baby, I'm teaching. Stop it."

 

Max:

"You're messing up work."

 

Keiran:

Yeah, and she had to stop, and that grinded her gears but, well, my gears are more important than hers in this situation.

 

Max:

If your gears are making money at the time, yeah.

 

Keiran:

And hers are not, yeah exactly.

 

Max:

Did you buy her a book? It costs less bandwidth.

 

Keiran:

No, she's got books. She doesn't need a new book man. No, you know what really grinds my gears man? In my family we have family dinners.

 

Max:

Yeah.

 

Keiran:

They're not obligatory but they happen every night, which is excessive to me.

 

Max:

That is excessive.

 

Keiran:

Yeah, and every dinner's the same dinner. My mom and my dad sit down and my mom's like, "How was work Kevin?", and then my dad's like, "Ugh, everything's going terribly.", and then my mom's like, "Well, you have to change your life. You got to stop working so much." My dad's like, "Ugh, oh Kathy you don't understand." I'm just sort of like, "Ugh, you've had this conversation at least 20 times man."

 

Max:

Oh my God. Invite me for dinner. I want to hear it.

 

Keiran:

That pisses me off. I'm just like, "No, I can't sit through this again."

 

Max:

That's awesome. That's so funny.

 

Keiran:

What about you? You don't have any family drama man that grinds your gears? From all your pictures on Facebook you seem like a very together, lovey-dovey family.

 

Max:

Yeah, it's pretty okay. I don't know, maybe when I was younger. I got more patient now. My sister texted me the other day and it was a question. She didn't write out the question but she was asking me if I was going to be ready for 5:00 so we could go to a bar. She wrote me a question and I was like, "Yes." All she wrote to me was, "Well?", and I answered, "Yes." Then she wrote long form, "Are you going to be ready for the dinner or the bar? That's what I was asking?" I was like, "If you want a complete sentence answer, write a complete sentence question. I answered you with the same amount of words that you sent me. Why am I going to have to type all the words of the sentence and you don't have to? Why do you get to be lazy?"

 

Keiran:

Yeah, that's funny.

 

Max:

I was mad.

 

Keiran:

Yeah, that's just reciprocation man. You're just giving her what she gave you. That's fine.

 

Max:

My back was bristling. If I had hair that could spike up, my neck would've been pointy. I could feel the warmth and the prickles, and like I'm going to punch a brick wall. It was one of those really weird rage moments.

 

Keiran:

That's hilarious man. All right. Well Max, thanks for coming on the podcast and helping us talk about what grinds our gears.

 

Max:

Thanks for having me, happy to be here.

 

Keiran:

Let's just go over it one more time. It grinds my gears means ...

 

Max:

It means that it upsets me. I thought you were going to say it. It means that it upsets me.

 

Keiran:

It grinds my gears when I ask questions and nobody answers.

 

Max:

It grinds my gears when Keiran is unclear about who is supposed to answer his question, himself or me.

 

Keiran:

Yeah right.

 

Max:

It grinds my gears, yeah. It grinds my gears is you're frustrated and a little bit angry about something happening in your life.

 

Keiran:

Yeah, and then pissed off is just two notches higher. It's a stronger way to say something really angers you, right?

 

Max:

Yeah, it's like grinds my gears is frustrated and angry and pissed off is angry and angry, even more.

 

Keiran:

Right, exactly. All right. Max, thanks. Thanks so much for coming on again man and helping us out.

 

Max:

Thanks bud.

 

Keiran:

All right. You guys didn't see that. He just did some weird bow. All right.

 

Max:

Yeah.

 

Keiran:

I'll talk to you soon dude.

 

Max:

Bye Keiran.

 

Keiran:

Chow.

Jan 7, 2017

Today on Uncensored English we talk about how I beat out all the smart kids on a Spanish book report, we also discuss the story telling challenge #3, a useful expression and more!

Jan 5, 2017

Do you want to become more fluent? You realize you got to constantly challenge yourself then right? No worries, we're doing the Story telling challenge again soon. On this podcast Yasuyo joins David Peachey and I to challenge her English. Join our newsletter if you want to participate in the next one!

Japanese Firefighters Click Here 

***Transcript*** 

Keiran Watters:

Okay, hey everyone, how's it going? Today we have on Uncensored English the third winner from the story telling challenge number 2 back on the podcast. How's it going Yasuyo?

 

Yasuyo:

Great, thank you.

 

Keiran Watters:

Good, great and we also have one of our regular guests who's been on the podcast quite frequently, David Peachy. How you doing David?

 

David Peachy:

Hey, Keiran it's great to be back! How you doing?

 

Keiran Watters:

Good, I'm doing good, thank you. So what we're going to do today is we're going to give Yasuyo a topic that's relevant to her life. She doesn't know what it is yet so this is kind of a challenge for her and she's going to explain it to you David.

 

David Peachy:

Okay.

 

Keiran Watters:

And then we're just going to have a conversation about this crazy topic that we're going to talk about.

 

David Peachy:

I can't wait.

 

Keiran Watters:

All right, great. So Yasuyo, I'm going to send you a message and you're going to open up this website and you're going to have to describe to David what you see in the pictures on this website, okay?

 

Yasuyo:

Mm-hmm  okay, I see.

 

Keiran Watters:

And for the people who are listening I'm going to put the link in the description so you guys can look at this while Yasuyo's describing it.

 

Yasuyo:

Yeah.

 

Keiran Watters:

Okay, did you get that over there Yasuyo?

 

Yasuyo:

Oh okay. Yeah.

 

Keiran Watters:

Okay, so David does not have this link so you have to describe it to him. This is the challenge for you.

 

David Peachy:

I know absolutely nothing, everyone else knows what's happening, not me. Okay.

 

Yasuyo:

Ah yes, I see. Now ... so this is a news website of and ... it's described the traditional performance in Japan ...

 

David Peachy:

Okay

 

Yasuyo:

And so there are several men wearing work wear and climb up to the ladders and they dance on the top of the ladders.

 

David Peachy:

Right, okay tell me more.

 

Yasuyo:

So this is the Japanese traditional performance which is hold, which is held by the traditional fireman, firework man.

 

David Peachy:

Mm-hmm (affirmative)

 

Yasuyo:

And so they are their volunteers in Edo period. It is from 17th centuries to 19 centuries and they're a kind of so carpenters and they works as a volunteer in big fire and they and they gathered and go to extinguish fire.

 

Keiran Watters:

Okay Yasuyo I'm just going to stop you for a second. I want to ask David, David what's the image that you have in your head from what Yasuyo's described to you?

 

David Peachy:

This is interesting because I was thinking of modern workers and then I hear seventeen hundred workers so this has put a really image in my head. Is it something like Burning Man? No?

 

Keiran Watters:

Burning Man, well what's Burning Man? I'm not sure Yasuyo's aware of what Burning Man is?

 

David Peachy:

Okay, Burning Man is a new festival. They build a large wooden structure in the shape of a man and they burn it. Of course many other things happen. It's a music and arts and cultural festival, but the culmination, the ending is a big wooden human figure on fire, thus Burning Man.

 

Keiran Watters:

Okay. Is that what it looks like, Yasuyo, to you? Is it a big wooden structure on fire?

 

Yasuyo:

No, no.

 

David Peachy:

There's a fire?

 

Yasuyo:

No, so nowadays it's not ... They perform without any fire.

 

David Peachy:

Oh okay.

 

Keiran Watters:

So Yasuyo, can you just re-describe the images in the article that you see at the top? We want to see if we can get Dave to understand the images that we're seeing.

 

Yasuyo:

Yes.

 

David Peachy:

So there's dancing on ladders, I got that much.

 

Yasuyo:

Yeah, pole dancing, Japanese style. Firefighters in 17th century dressed, balanced on sky high ladders in traditional show. This is a [crosstalk 00:05:30]

 

Keiran Watters:

Okay Yasuyo, you're reading ...

 

David Peachy:

I'm getting a better idea now. Okay, this sounds interesting.

 

Keiran Watters:

Okay, let's send David the pictures so he can follow what we're both looking at now.

 

David Peachy:

Great, so let's look. Okay unfortunately I can't see the picture, I'll just try to scroll down.

 

Keiran Watters:

The Australian government's blocking it there David?

 

David Peachy:

Yeah, they're already onto it, they're all over it. Nope, can't get it ... oh hang on, wait I see it!

 

 

Okay, loading loading, thank you Australian government. Pole dancing Japanese style, let's see it. Ah okay, so it's like a ... bamboo ladders and people in dress from a couple of centuries ago and wow, okay. Is it synchronized or is it choreographed, is it organized?

 

Yasuyo:

So they perform with a kind of a chant and so the other firefighters sing a chant and they perform one.

 

Keiran Watters:

Do they sing while they're on the ladders too?

 

Yasuyo:

I think the performers on the ladder, they don't sing. They dance acrobatic forms, acrobatic forms so it is very difficult to keep styles.

 

Keiran Watters:

Yeah, I think they're doing enough from these pictures. I don't think anyone can sing while upside down like 20 feet in the air.

 

David Peachy:

You said these are volunteer firefighters, is that right?

 

Yasuyo:

Yeah, yeah.

 

David Peachy:

Wow, okay. Extra skills.

 

Keiran Watters:

Do the Aussie firefighters do this, David?

 

David Peachy:

I think they should, I think it should become a thing in Australia and what time of year is this again. What month?

 

Yasuyo:

Uh usually this performance, uh is held in January at the end of New Year's Holidays Days.

 

David Peachy:

Okay, I'm asking because some of them have bare feet and their clothing looks a bit light so they must be freezing, I'm sure.

 

Yasuyo:

Yeah. So we call Dezome-shiki and it's the ceremony to start the New Year so it's usually January 5th or 6th every year.

 

David Peachy:

Can I ask is there some reasoning to prevent fires in the future or is there any like magical ...

 

Keiran Watters:

What's the significance of the event?

 

David Peachy:

Yeah

 

Yasuyo:

So [inaudible 00:09:23] So this performers are now ... The firefighters only keep the tradition and this is a show to preserve older tradition and Edo period so they usually in Asian people doesn't people didn't have a lot of water to extinguish fire and they climb up the rooftop and break down broke down houses.[crosstalk 00:10:36] So why they climb on the ladders ... So they prove their ability to climb up high places and to extinguish fire.

 

David Peachy:

Right, so the idea is not actually to put out the fire with water, to douse the fire, but they would knock down the building from like the house?

 

Yasuyo:

Knock down, knock down [crosstalk 00:11:15]

 

 

It is kind of the way of firefighting. So the patient way.

 

Keiran Watters:

Okay, so I'm understanding that now that is display of climbing up these high ladders and balancing on these ladders is kind of like a symbol of active through skill that was needed in the past. Is that right Yasuyo?

 

Yasuyo:

Yeah, so they want to preserve the traditional performance

 

David Peachy:

I see, mm-hmm (affirmative)

 

Yasuyo:

For every New Year's Day they perform so [inaudible 00:12:02] firefighters nowadays.

 

Keiran Watters:

Well this makes me glad I'm not a firefighter in Japan.

 

David Peachy:

Yeah, I couldn't do that. I don't have the fitness.

 

Keiran Watters:

David, before we wrap this podcast up is there anything you want to ask Yasuyo about this tradition or anything that wasn't clear from your end? How do you think Yasuyo did describing this event?

 

David Peachy:

I think it was pretty good once I understood that the ladders were vertical and not actually leaning against anything, then it made sense. Um so, can I ask the spectators, who are the people watching this event, do they understand the tradition and the significance as well?

 

Yasuyo:

So I think most of Japanese know who they are and what they do so we respect them. Such kind of they act such acrobatic performance.

 

David Peachy:

So it's more than just a show, it's a connection to the past. Wow.

 

Yasuyo:

Yeah.

 

Keiran Watters:

All right, great we're going to move on and wrap this up because we're running out of time, but I just want to say to all the people listening out there we gave Yasuyo a special challenge because I know Yasuyo on a personal basis and she is working towards being a tour guide in Japan so this is relevant to her life, but if you guys are listening and you want to come on and do a challenge similar to this in the future, don't be shy. Don't worry that it's going to be hard because challenging yourself is always fun and you can all notice it and Yasuyo did quite well today. I just want to thank you Yasuyo for coming on and doing this.

 

Yasuyo:

Thank you, Keiran.

 

David Peachy:

Thank you.

 

Keiran Watters:

And of course thank you David for helping us out too.

 

David Peachy:

Pleasure as always.

 

Yasuyo's Son:

Foreign Language. Japanese

 

Keiran Watters:

And thank yo Yasuyo's son who's in the background.

 

Yasuyo's Son:

Foreign Language. Japanese

 

Keiran Watters:

And we're going to catch you guys on the next podcast of Uncensored English.

Jan 2, 2017

 On today's first podcast of the New Year Anna is on and we discuss New Years resolutions, memories and past experiences. There's a full transcript available. If you find it useful please give us a review on Itunes. 

 

 

Keiran:

All right, today is the first podcast of the new years and we got Anna back on the podcast. How's it going, Anna?

 

Anna:

Hello, hello. Very well, thank you. How are you?

 

Keiran:

I'm doing good. I'm doing good. And uh we were just talking before we started, but new years is a time where a lot of people, they decide to make changes in their lives and they make resolutions. What are your feelings on that? Is that a popular thing in Australia? Are you one of the people who do that also?

 

Anna:

It's very popular in Australia. I think it popular in most of the Western world at the moment. Um I have a lot of friends who will resolve to lose weight or they'll decide to stop smoking, to quit smoking or something along those lines. Uh personally, I'm not a big fan of resolutions. As I mentioned to you briefly beforehand that I'm kind of a believer in willpower and muscle that we use regularly. I think like any muscle, the more we use it, the easier it is. And uh I don't know New years in the end, it's a good time to start on things, but at the same time it is just a date and I don't really see any reason to suddenly discover willpower on one day of the year. I think if it's there, it's there and if it's not, it's not and you need to work on it as a personal kind of thing.

 

Keiran:

Right, it's kind of like the Valentines Day of personal change, right?

 

Anna:

Yeah, that's a really good way of putting it. Yeah.

 

Keiran:

That's the thing I always had against Valentines Day. Valentines Day is silly because you should just enjoy the person you're with all throughout the year. But on Valentines Day everything gets jacked up. All the prices, everyone goes to the restaurants. I always tell my wife, "Let's just celebrate Valentines Day next week when no one else is celebrating it."

 

Anna:

Also, Valentines day ... I feel like Valentines Day is more about making people feel bad about themselves and about being single than it is necessarily about a true celebration of love.

 

Keiran:

Yeah, I don't know. I never felt bad about being single. I think there's certain people who do. I was watching comedy this weekend, and this one comedian who's like, "Oh, you know, I'm single and I'm lonely." I'm just like, "I am so jealous of your life. I would like to feel loneliness just once a year." It's a nice spice to throw in your life once in a while.

 

Anna:

Yeah, that's cool.

 

Keiran:

You appreciate [crosstalk 00:02:38]

 

Anna:

You know what they say, you don't know what you've got until it's gone.

 

Keiran:

Right.

 

Anna:

Maybe have a day or two where you've got nothing and then you go, "Oh, hang on, that's right I actually really love being with other people."

 

Keiran:

Right. Yeah I know.

Anna:

... Miss it.

 

Keiran:

My wife and daughter went to Mongolia about a year and a half ago for three months. After a month I was like, "I feel alone." You've got to not have something to appreciate it for a while, right?

 

Anna:

Absolutely.

 

Keiran:

All right, we're getting way off topic here.

 

Anna:

We do that. That's out thing.

 

Keiran:

That's okay. That's good. I like that. It's new years and I thought we could share a few new years stories. I think I'll go ahead and go first. For you guys listening over there, remember there's a transcript for this so if you want to follow along or you find we're talking too fast for you, well you can just go to the website and check it out.

 

 

And my story was when I was ... Oh my god, I think it's sixteen years ago. Holy shit. Time goes by fast.

 

Anna:

You're so old, Keiran.

 

Keiran:

Yeah, I know. I still look young, though.

 

Anna:

How do you handle the age creeping up on you?

 

Keiran:

I don't know. I'm not one of those people who worries about it. It was new years ... I always mix these two up. Not new years day, new years eve day. Right?

 

Anna:

Okay, yeah the day of new years eve.

 

Keiran:

Right, exactly.

 

Anna:

Okay, with you.

 

Keiran:

My parents, oddly, they went out for a new years party. They don't usually do that. My sisters were all gone to new years parties, too. My girlfriend at the time came over. My mom didn't trust me very well at that time, which is probably smart because I was a sixteen year old boy. She made plans with my friend and his father that they would drive us to a party. We were really excited because my girlfriend and I were alone in the house. We were going to, you know, do what sixteen year old kids do.

 

Anna:

What's that, Keiran?

 

Keiran:

Well, we were going to, you know, go all the way. Actually, I might have been fifteen. I don't know if it was sixteen, but it was my first time. Like, we had planned this. It was really exciting for both of us, obviously. And I don't know what time my mother left, but pretty much as soon as we left we ran up to the bedroom and we were starting, and then not too long after that my friend's father called because he was driving us to the party and we didn't answer the phone. He just kept calling and then the voicemail goes on and he's like, "Hello, are you guys okay? Hello? Why aren't you answering the phone? Hello!" I was just like, oh, this is the worst first experience of anything.

 

Anna:

Was this mid-deed?

 

Keiran:

Yeah, no, exactly. We were in the middle of it and we just had to hear my friend's dad be like, "Hello, Keiran, where are you? Answer the phone!" It was just a weird way to start ... It was a weird thing to experience before we went to the party. That just happens sometimes on new years, I guess.

 

Anna:

Yeah, sure. I feel like this is more of a first time story than a new years story.

 

Keiran:

Well, it did happen on new years so it is a ...

 

Anna:

Okay, fair enough. Yeah.

 

Keiran:

It was a first time new years story, I guess.

 

Anna:

Keiran, you know you can admit to me if the only reason you're doing this podcast is so you could tell that story, right?

 

Keiran:

No, it's part of the reason. It's probably about 50%.

 

Anna:

It's okay. It's a good story.

 

Keiran:

It was a fun night.

 

Anna:

So I mean were you scarred? Did you find every time after that you were just waiting for the phone to ring?

 

Keiran:

No, I wasn't scarred. It was just annoying. You're excited for something and then ... It's like when you go see a movie you're excited about but there's someone eating popcorn right behind your head. You're just like, "Oh, come on. I'm trying to enjoy the movie."

 

Anna:

Yeah, I mean my first time was similar except it's like going to a movie you're really excited to see and then the screen is just dark because it's so boring.

 

Keiran:

Yeah, that's funny.

 

Anna:

That's also not ... That wasn't a new years eve story.

 

Keiran:

That's okay. That's what you should expect in your first time in most things because it's your first time and it'll probably be bad, right?

 

Anna:

Yeah, but I was ready for all the horror stories and the pain. I was just like, "Oh, this is super boring." Afterwards, he'd had a great time and he was like, "Wow! How amazing!" And I was like, "Yeah. Uh huh, sure."

 

Keiran:

For you.

 

Anna:

I didn't know what to say. I was like, this cannot be all there is to it.

 

Keiran:

Yeah, that's the weird thing is that I think it's so dependent on your partner and I guess having chemistry.

 

Anna:

Also, we're going way off topic again, but also knowing what you like, I think. That's the other thing. You only really find out with a bit of time.

 

Keiran:

Right, and also you experience that through having different partners and things. In the beginning, you just don't know anything.

 

Anna:

Yeah.

 

Keiran:

I was like, "This is so weird. What am I doing." You know what you're doing, but you never know what something is until you experience it. My first time was just a wreck because of what happened with the phone.

 

Anna:

I mean, you've got a daughter so you obviously worked it out eventually.

 

Keiran:

Well, that doesn't mean ... This is the funny thing about having kids is that they always say that when you get married you have less sex. I think it's not that you're married, I think it's that people have kids and when you have kids they're just like, "Oh my god, I have no freedom now. I'm not going to do that activity anymore because I don't want it to get worse."

 

Anna:

I don't really have experience in that area, so I'll leave that insight up to you.

 

Keiran:

Okay, so we're completely off topic here. That's okay.

 

Anna:

It's what we do.

 

Keiran:

What about you? Do you have any new years memories that you recall that were fun?

 

Anna:

I mean, I mean most of my crazy stories just involve me getting naked in different places around the world.

 

Keiran:

Nice.

 

Anna:

I don't really ...

 

Keiran:

This is a new years tradition for Anna.

 

Anna:

I'm trying to think of which one's going to insult the least number of people. I think probably it would be just a standard pool party new years eve that I had with one of my ex-boyfriend's group of friends, I should say. And yeah we had a pool party. That one was weird for other reasons. We all got naked and went swimming and that was fun, but then the weird thing was that one guy in the group, he started ... This was a long time ago, by the way, before things got really crazy. He started talking about how he was a science student and how, if he wanted to, he could make bombs and how he had all these ingredients. It was quite weird.

 

Keiran:

Yeah, that's weird, right.

 

Anna:

That was the reason that memory sticks out to me is actually because he was such a weirdo rather than necessarily because I was naked which, as I said, I have a tendency to do at parties.

 

Keiran:

That's funny. Everyone's having a good time and people are naked and he's like, "Yeah, and I can make bombs. Let's go back to my place and mix some chemicals."

 

Anna:

You know, it was his place. That was why it was so creepy. We were all like, "Are we about to get blown up or something?" We were all kind of on edge after that. That was weird.

 

Keiran:

Was he one of those people who was just doing it just to kind of scare you guys a little and have fun or was he really off?

 

Anna:

I don't know. He was a bit of a weirdo. He and I never really got along, to be honest, because one time he kind of got up in my face and I slapped him because he was too close and I thought I felt threatened so I gave him a slap. Then he was like, "I'm going to call the police because you slapped me." I was like, "Go ahead. Call the police and I'll tell them about the bombs you were bragging about. Which one do you think they're going to be more concerned about?"

 

Keiran:

Those slaps are pretty dangerous, right.

 

Anna:

You know, um that same party, actually, there was an old friend of mine was there as well. He was really into the puppetry of the penis. Do you know this?

 

Keiran:

Yeah, yeah. Right, right.

 

Anna:

Where you manipulate it into different shapes and then you say, oh wow, this is ...

 

Keiran:

He's in to doing it or he was into the ...

 

Anna:

He would do it. The thing was he did it all the time. This was a thing. Whenever he had about two or three beers in him, it would be out.

 

Keiran:

It's a hot dog, look at it.

 

Anna:

No, his was the hamburger. He was very proud of the hamburger.

 

Keiran:

Yeah, I can imagine how you would do that, right.

 

Anna:

Yeah. Unfortunately I don't need to imagine it.

 

Keiran:

You've got the vivid visual imagery. You have like a photo back on one of your computers or something.

 

Anna:

Oh, it's right up here. It's in the memory banks. There you go.

 

Keiran:

Yeah, that's one of those funny things that happens when you're young and you're drunk, people get naked and do funny things. I remember one thing that people used to do which is funny was the guys would tuck all their junk between their legs, you know.

 

Anna:

Oh yes!

 

Keiran:

So it looks like they're a lady.

 

Anna:

Yeah. I'm convinced that the guys who do that and say they look like a lady have not seen a lady's parts.

 

Keiran:

I think they're just enthused to look like they're androgynous and or a eunuch or something.

 

Anna:

We're not like Barbie dolls, you know.

 

Keiran:

No, I know. Even Barbie dolls don't really look like ladies.

 

Anna:

Well yeah there's that. The Ken doll doesn't really look like a dude.

 

Keiran:

No, it doesn't. That's true. Okay, well this has been a really loose podcast about new years and more, I guess, about sex and being naked and doing silly things.

 

Anna:

Yeah, I think you're going to need to slap a nice big warning on this one.

 

Keiran:

That's fun. I think that's what people like. There's enough of the safe stuff out there.

 

Anna:

That's true enough.

 

Keiran:

Anna, thanks so much for having us back on the podcast. Having us back? This is my podcast.

 

Anna:

I'm back. You're Keiran, you're having me back on the podcast.

 

Keiran:

Yeah, thanks for coming back on the podcast again. Have a happy new year.

 

Anna:

Yeah, have a happy new year.

 

Keiran:

All right, bye bye.

 

Anna:

Bye.

Dec 31, 2016

In this episode we talk about how to say you're going going to sleep or you went to sleep with an idiom in English, what it means to be "rusty", and of course for some reason we also talk about self awareness in your profession. I also swear a lot on this episode and blab about comedy. 

Dec 29, 2016

 How can you ask for help without having to say "I need help". No worries, sometimes we don't want to say those words. In this podcast Edward and I discuss a useful idiom you can use to request assistance from others. Transcript is available for free where the transcripts are found. 

***Transcript *** 

Dec 26, 2016

 Today on Uncensored English Gabriel and I have an unscripted conversation about the news, is it worth listening to? Is it always depressing? Feel free to let us know in the comments section on the Facebook page. As always Monday's podcast has a transcript so sign up for our newsletter to get weekly updates about our free transcripts, language challenges and more! 

 

Keiran:

All right, what's up everybody? Today on Uncensored English, we have Gabriel back on the podcast. How is it going, Gabriel?

 

Gabe:

Yeah, pretty good. Feeling good, feeling fresh. Came back from the gym. Wooyeah! 

 

Keiran:

All right, pumping up like Arnold.

 

Gabe:

Yeah, yes.

 

Keiran:

What you do?

 

Gabe:

Okay. I went running. I was running. You go on the tread mill, you run, you run, and then after I warmed up I had toweled myself off a bit. And I did squats, deep squats. And then I did little bit of ... I did some dead lifts. It was nice. And then I did some leg curls. Then I didn't have a good workout yesterday, because I was kind of hung over, so I completed most of the workout I wasn't able to do yesterday. I did some shoulders. I did some fucking arms. And then I did some leg ... I exercised my body.

 

Keiran:

Wait. What's all this for, man? This is for you or this is for the ladies?

 

Gabe:

For me, man. I want to look in the mirror and be like, "Oh, yeah, you fucking look to you piece of shit. Dear God, you're hot."

 

Keiran:

All right, good. All right, anyways, lets move on, man. Gabriel and I, we're going to shoot the shit. We're going to talk about news today and if it's worth watching the news and something about that. Before we do that, we've got uh we got one response from the podcast we did on Russian stereotypes from a Russian person. We're going to just play it right now  so we can all hear it together. You, Gabriel, and I. Here we go.

 

Alex:

Hello, I'm Uncensored English listeners. Hi, Keiran, hi, Gabriel.  I'm Alex, the crazy scientist from Moscow.

Gabe: What a fucking nerd

Alex : After listening to all Gabriel perverted jokes in the 115 episode of Uncensored English I got an idea, to start a fundraising campaign to hire a prostitute for Gabriel, to make Gabriel great again. Bye.

 

Keiran:

All right, that guy got ya.

 

Gabe:

You said that was 74 minutes.

 

Keiran:

Well, it said 74 minutes, but it was only 20 seconds ...

 

Gabe:

A minute. It was only 20 seconds, yeah.

 

Keiran:

Yeah. Right. I don't know if we should hire Gabriel a prostitute, because I'm sure he already has one somewhere.

 

Gabe:

Ah excuse me. They're not called prostitutes. They're called masseuses.

 

Keiran:

Uhhhh man, Asian masseuses of the night?

 

Gabe:

No, I think I moved up to Latin American.

 

Keiran:

What? Is that like a, a price point higher or something?

 

Gabe:

It goes Asian, Latina, Black, and obviously White.

 

Keiran:

All right, that's an interesting scale of uh.

 

Gabe:

Oh, I'm sorry. It goes Russian, Asian, Latina, Black, then White.

 

Keiran:

All right. All right.

 

Gabe:

Yeah. It's not even ... Anyway, whatever. Yeah, thanks ... What's his name. Igor?

 

Keiran:

Alex. It's Alex, dude. You weren't even listening good.

 

Gabe:

Alex Kovalev. Yeah, suck it.

 

Keiran:

All right, anyways ...

 

Gabe:

Next question.

 

Keiran:

Alex, thanks for sending us that message. I think that you're probably right, but you probably don't know that Gabriel already spends money on this kind of stuff. So I don't know that he needs one, but good idea, though.

 

Gabe:

Yeah. Tell him ...nevermind. You know what?

 

Keiran:

Say it.

 

Gabe:

Thank you, Alex.

 

Keiran:

What were you going to say.

 

Gabe:

I hate this guy.

 

Keiran:

Why do you hate him. He responded to the podcast, man.

 

Gabe:

Yeah, he shouldn't have.

 

Keiran:

You're upset because he's making fun of you, or something?

 

Gabe:

Yeah. Who's he think he is, huh? He's a scientist? What is he a scientist of? Being fucking dumb?

 

Keiran:

All right.

 

Gabe:

All right, I'm just joking. Thank you, Alex. Send me an email, gabeomassi.com. Send me dick pics.

 

Keiran:

I don't know, man. What are you doing to do with Russian dick pics, man?

 

Gabe:

I'm going to send them to the police. Tell them he's sending me  underage boy dick pics.

 

Keiran:

Send them to Vladimir Putin. Send them right back.

 

Gabe:

Yeah. Yeah, put you up there in Siberia with the wolves.

 

Keiran:

All right. All right, let's move on here.

 

Gabe:

Yeah.

 

Keiran:

All right. Today we're going to talk about news. Is it bullshit? Is it worth looking at, or not?

 

Gabe:

Yeah, that's true.

 

Keiran:

I generally don't look at the news. I look at the sports. That's mainly all I look at, because the rest of it always seems depressing.

 

Gabe:

You get depressed by reading the news? I don't feel anything when I read the news. I go to this website called Reddit, and then they have this subsection called news, and I'm always looking for a fucking disaster, or something.

 

Keiran:

Well, that's it, man. I think I used to be like that. I used to not care about the news, and I be like every time you see some kind of terrorist thing, I would just think, "Oh, thank God, it's not here." It didn't bother me that much. But I have students in all these countries now.

 

Gabe:

Yeah.

 

Keiran:

I have Turkish students, and there's like a Turkish bombing the other day, and 50 people died, or something.

 

Gabe:

Oh, man, that's a lot of fucking people.

 

Keiran:

I don't know. It's different when you're connected to someone who's affected.

 

Gabe:

Yeah.

 

Keiran:

I mean, I still always thank like, "Thank God, it's not here," but it's always a matter of time before something shitty happens in Canada, too.

 

Gabe:

Yeah, that's true. I'm here on the website, first article, "Off-duty cop has 10 pints of beer, margarita at bar, before deadly, wrong-way crash." Yeah, fuck the police.

 

Keiran:

Right? Really, where was that? Where did that happen? In in the US?

 

Gabe:

Yeah. Four hours ago.

 

Keiran:

What kind of person drinks 10 pints and then a margarita? How do you finish your night with a margarita after 10 pints?

 

Gabe:

I think maybe it was he was on a date with a girl, he had a margarita, the girl obviously didn't like him and then left him, and then he had 10 pints of beer.

 

Keiran:

No, you said he had 10 pints and then he had a margarita.

 

Gabe:

I mean, I don't know. It's the headline of the article. It's not like giving you like... I don't know. It didn't say he had it all in order. It's probably ... I mean like you know, he maybe had some food. They didn't put that in the headline. Probably had a hotdog.

 

Keiran:

Yeah. So you don't do the news? You do any news, or just Reddit?

 

Gabe:

Yeah, I like the internet news. I go on certain websites. I don't like CNN or like Fox. It's too biased. CNN is very liberal, and Fox is too conservative.

 

Keiran:

You know what's weird, though? Whenever I go into those restaurants in Montreal, like Al-Tahib or any of uh these ethnic restaurants, they're always playing CNN. I don't get it. They're always playing it.

 

Gabe:

They're like the biggest, right? No, they might be the biggest.

 

Keiran:

They're the most blatantly ... Like you said, they're the most blatantly bias news shows ever.

 

Gabe:

Yeah.

 

Keiran:

It's so transparent, and it's just hard to even sit through it.

 

Gabe:

A lot of time, it's all like programming rather than news. It's like a TV show, so it's mostly entertainment, and it's fun to watch. I can watch like CNN, because it's just fun. There's all these colors, and what's his name, Wolf Blitzer looks like a fucking weirdo. He's all white, with his crazy beard, and he looks like a cartoon character.

 

Keiran:

Yeah.

 

Gabe:

It's fun. Like, I could watch that shit all day. When I'm America, when I'm visiting my grandmother in Florida, I can watch fucking CNN all day long. It's just so fun, because I'm like, "Oh, I'm American now." Like, I need to know.

 

Keiran:

But you're looking at it from the prospective of "This is dumb shit, and I'm laughing at it," right?

 

Gabe:

I'm looking at it ... I'm not laughing all the time, but I'm like ... Okay, in 2000-whatever-it-was, remember the Boxing Day tsunami, in what's it called, Thailand?

 

Keiran:

That must have been a while ago, right?

 

Gabe:

It was like in 2005, 2006. I was in Florida for that, and man I didn't have CNN at my home, because we were all poor, but my grandmother had TV, all these channels. It was the first time I had access to 24-hour news, so I was just watching TV all day long you know. Then, before that, the only time I was ever watching the news for that long period of time was 9/11. I remember when I was 11 years old, and it was on TV, non-stop. Like, they stopped every channel. ABC, NBC was just 9/11 news, and then they showed Bush declared war, and it was just basically 24-hour news on the war.

 

Keiran:

Yeah.

 

Gabe:

It was so interesting, man. I was freaking out. It made me all paranoid and shit, fucked me up now.

 

Keiran:

Yeah. Well, that's the kind of garbage that we see on the news, right? I mean, this stuff happens all the time, but you only hear about it when it happens to North America, on our news.

 

Gabe:

Yeah.

 

Keiran:

Like, you never hear about all the other shit. Did you hear about the airplane that went down in Brazil?

 

Gabe:

Today?

 

Keiran:

No, last week?

 

Gabe:

No.

 

Keiran:

There's an airplane that crashed, and it had like a whole soccer team on it, and they were going to the finals.

 

Gabe:

What? Renal Dino?

 

Keiran:

No, I don't think it was that.

 

Gabe:

I think that's Spanish.

 

Keiran:

But they're going to the finals in Columbia, or something.

 

Gabe:

Jeez.

 

Keiran:

Everybody died except for six people, and the plane crashed because the pilot didn't fill up.

 

Gabe:

Oh, what a fucking dummy, man.

 

Keiran:

I know. Like, if the plane crashes because of, I don't know, a storm or something you can't control, that's sad. But the plane crashed because the guy didn't fill up? That's just pathetic, man.

 

Gabe:

Yeah.

 

Keiran:

It's such a stupid tragedy.

 

Gabe:

Maybe isn't the airport supposed to fill up. It's not the airplane is going to a gas station. He's going to an airport, right?

 

Keiran:

Yeah. I don't know. I mean, I imagine. But it maybe a private ... This is a private plane, right? Because it's a team plane. So maybe there's different protocols, or something. I don't know.

 

Gabe:

Got it.

 

Keiran:

I guess, news is always depressing. When do you look at the news and it's like something good?

 

Gabe:

Fuck, man. Let me see. Let me find something now.

 

Keiran:

Unless it's sports.

 

Gabe:

Oh, this one's good. "Firefighter eating at restaurant notices carbon monoxide symptoms, saves 32 people."

 

Keiran:

Is that in the US?

 

Gabe:

Yeah, this is all US news.

 

Keiran:

So the moral of this story is trust firefighters, not policemen.

 

Gabe:

Yeah, yeah. Look at that. He noticed it. He was like, "Hey, wait a minute. Everyone's throwing up," and he saves everyone.

 

Keiran:

I wonder what's the, what happens to a kid in his life that makes him become a firefighter rather than a policeman? Because a policeman is just a thief for the government, right?

 

Gabe:

I don't know. I mean like I feel like firefighters are inherently lazy people, you know?

 

Keiran:

Yeah. "I don't want to work all month, but when I do have to work, I'll risk my life and run into a burning building."

 

Gabe:

Yeah. It's worth it. You're like, "Man, I get paid to fucking play Nintendo and lift weights." It's basically my life, without the fire. You know?

 

Keiran:

Right, it is pretty much the same as your life. Right.

 

Gabe:

Yeah. Except I'm a fucking uh comedy fighter.

 

Keiran:

That was lame.

 

Gabe:

Whatever. See, I'm not good at comedy.

 

Keiran:

It's really lame. Ah yeah yeah except that they work every two weeks and you work every weekend.

 

Gabe:

Yeah. Oh, man, yeah.

 

Keiran:

Basically, my conclusion on news is that news is depressing and probably pretty useless, most of the time. What do you think?

 

Gabe:

I mean, I'll wake up every morning and go on whatever website really quick, just to see. I mean, we just, at this point, we have so much access to information that like you can just look at it and it just doesn't even register completely. I does depress me, it doesn't to anything to me. I just read it, and I'm like, "Oh, yes, more please. More information." Then I go to video game news, and I'm like, "Oh, yeah, I love video games." Then movies, RottenTomatoes.com, look up movie reviews, and I dunno then celebrity gossip. "Oh, the Kardashians. Ooooo." No, I don't know.

 

Keiran:

That sounds fun, because then you can just judge them, right?

 

Gabe:

I mean, they're not doing anything anymore. They're not like fucking up at all.

 

Keiran:

It's just like they went to a restaurant and then they ordered some soup.

 

Gabe:

Yeah. Yeah, they like soup. Yeah, I don't know. Whatever.

 

Keiran:

All right ...

 

Gabe:

Oh, yeah. I wanted to say I was on Facebook, and I saw I was about to call him George Washington, fuckin Denzel Washington, he was talking to I don't know who, some fucking person with a microphone, and he was talking about the news. He said this, he said this quote, "If you read the news, no if don't read the news, you're uninformed, but if you read the news, you're ... " Did you capture that burp in my throat?

 

Keiran:

Yeah, it was really gross, that gurgling sound. It's pretty disgusting.

 

Gabe:

Let me take that back. "If you don't read the news, you're uninformed, but if you read the news, you're misinformed." So that's my statement of the day, his statement.

 

Keiran:

All right, you're paraphrasing him.

 

Gabe:

Yeah.

 

Keiran:

It's pretty accurate, though.

 

Gabe:

Yeah.

 

Keiran:

It's a little the same thing, I remember Will Smith said something like, he said like, "I vote so I can complain" And that's the wrong thing. The thing is I don't vote so I complain.

 

Gabe:

Yeah, yeah.

 

Keiran:

If you voted, then you put them in, so you can complain.

 

Gabe:

Yeah. Then again ...

 

Keiran:

But, I guess, everyone has their stupid moments, right?

 

Gabe:

Yeah. Then again, I get all my news from super rich black superstars.

 

Keiran:

Yeah, black men with more money than you'll ever have.

 

Gabe:

Yeah. I get it. I'm like, "Yes, what else? I need more news, Denzel."

 

Keiran:

I think you should trust your news from Chris Rock over Will Smith or Denzel.

 

Gabe:

Oh, Chris Rock? He's a smart guy, no?

 

Keiran:

Yeah, that's what I'm saying. I mean, Will Smith, I don't know I don't like the stuff he produces. Denzel, I don't watch anything he produces, man. He just like your Hollywood Dreamboat for Women.

 

Gabe:

He's 64 years old. he's an old man now.

 

Keiran:

So women like the older dudes. You should know that, man.

 

Gabe:

Not that much. I don't know. Whatever. He's a good actor. He looks pretty young, still. You know? He's always chewing gum.

 

Keiran:

Exactly. You just said it yourself.

 

Gabe:

Yeah, all right.

 

Keiran:

All right. We're going to wrap this up, guys. I hope you liked hearing me and Gabriel shoot the shit about news. Uh thank you, Alex, for insulting Gabriel. It was very funny.

 

Gabe:

Yeah, fuck you.

 

Keiran:

Guys, if you haven't subscribed to the page on UncensoredEnglish.ca, or on the Facebook page, so you can get free transcripts emailed to you, and you can find out about our next storytelling challenge and our live lessons, which are going to be happening soon on Facebook. We'll catch you on the next episode of Uncensored English.

Dec 24, 2016

A lot of people think they need to speak to people to improve their English, obviously this helps. But it's not the only way. Today in the podcast we speak briefly about video logs, we go for a walk around my neighbourhood, and I read you one of my favourite holiday season stories. The video is available on the youtube channel.  

 

*** Video available on Youtube Channel***

 

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCgO0VCOAOVtj0X8X48oFhHw

 

 

Dec 22, 2016

 

Today on Uncensored English I talk about what makes me lose my head, how you can use the idiom and of course a lot more! This is a double episode. In the second half David Peachey comes on and shares stories from his latest vacation across South East Asia. The transcript is available for the second half of the podcast. 

***Transcript***

Keiran:

Hey everyone, how's it going? Welcome back to the podcast and today we have one of our all time favorite guests back on the podcast.

 

David:

Ooh, I'm a favorite.

 

Keiran:

Yeah, Mr. David Peachy. How are you doing, David?

 

David:

Hey, I'm going great Keiran, how are you going?

 

Keiran:

I am going great. Going great, that's such an Australian-ism.

 

David:

It is, yeah. How are you going, how's it going. [crosstalk 00:00:25]

 

Keiran:

Yeah, that's all right both forms of English are valid, right? Um

 

David:

Yes.

 

Keiran:

David I haven't seen you for a while and I have kind of an odd little secret to confess.

 

David:

Mm-hmm (affirmative)-

 

Keiran:

I have a little bit of an obsession with your name. When I'm all alone in the house sometimes I just introduce you just for fun. I go "Ladies and gentlemen, David Peachy."

 

David:

It's a great name to introduce.

 

Keiran:

Right. Right. And then I do it in French "Madames et Monsieurres, David Peachy."

 

David:

And I would say "Bonjour."

 

Keiran:

So David you were on an exciting trip I imagine.

 

David:

Yes I was AWOL, I was absent without leave for about three weeks.

 

Keiran:

Oh man, I mean I know where you went because you told me but why don't you tell the listeners where you took a trip to.

 

David:

Okay, hello listeners. I decided to give myself a break before the year was out, so I gave myself three weeks, roughly around East Asia/ South East Asia. It's not much space you can cover with that, but I managed to visit Hong Kong and Macau, both for the first time, catch up with some old friends in Malaysia, and then, again for the first time, explore Myanmar.

 

Keiran:

So, what were you exploring in Myanmar? I'm pretty unfamiliar with it. I imagine, based on my little knowledge I have of Myanmar, that you would probably be visiting uh ... temples? I'm just throwing it out there. Am I right?

 

David:

Absolutely. Yes. We were visiting, I went with my friend from Malaysia, and we visited a pile of temples in Yangon, that's the city in the South. Mandalay, I think it's the old capital, it's central North, and we also spent a couple of day halfway along the river, again central Myanmar, and it's a place called Bagan, and there are over 2000 temples in this 20 square kilometer space. You can't walk more than five minutes without falling over some kind of temple, really. It was very, very bizarre.

 

Keiran:

That's cool. Why are there so many temples in this area?

 

David:

It was the ancient capitals. It was the ancient capital actually, and I think back then they built these little temples to... Honestly I really don't know, I think it was a show of power or riches. What we see now, it looks like a scene from Indiana Jones and, I don't know the hundred temples, the 2000 temples, because you see the landscape and then you see all of these ancient temples popping up. Apparently back then, a few hundred years ago, there were actual other buildings, like wooden structures, farmers, cities, around these temples, which we don't see, it just looks like these temples have popped up in the middle of some kind of jungle, but really it was a properly civilized and populated place.

 

Keiran:

Right. The temples, I just googled it now because I wanted to see what you were talking about.

 

David:

Yeah, Bagan. B-A-G-A-N.

 

Keiran:

It just looks spectacular. It's amazing.

 

David:

Yeah. I have to say it's really, really strange just to walk any direction for about five or ten minutes and you're suddenly at a temple of some sort.

 

Keiran:

Right.

 

David:

Small or large.

 

Keiran:

Yeah, now I gotta ask you, I used to live in Vancouver and there was this small, little place that I always used to go to for cheap eats. It was called Hawkers Delight, I remember really well. It was a Malaysian restaurant, and the food there was insanely good, and I have a few students in Singapore and one of my students told me they went to Malaysia for a trip, I forget where it was, but they said... and I'm always skeptical when people tell me funny things about countries I don't know, but they said in Malaysia there tends to be more uhm I guess to put it in a funny way chunky monkeys, because their food is just so delicious, and I guess it's not the food you want to eat to maintain a thin form. But, I know this is a stretch but, what's your opinion on these ideas I've thrown out at you?

 

David:

Uh, well, good question because I have two old friends there who are very good friends.  And their plan for me before I landed was to basically fill me with food, as much food as possible. There are many types, many influences, so you've got the traditional Malaysian style, you've got your nasi lemak, which you see the fat riot for nasi lemak, and you've got a lot of Indian and Chinese influences as well, so I had a lot of Indian style food, Pakistan style food. It's actually, I understand, it's cheaper to eat out than to actually cook at home, in some cases.

 

Keiran:

Yeah.

 

David:

Yeah.

 

Keiran:

That's one of the great parts about every part of Asia I've been in, it's just restaurants are so cheap and the quality of the food is awesome. It was always amazing. In Canada if I go to a restaurant with my wife, it's gonna cost us generally upwards of $60, which isn't really cheap for me.

 

David:

Yeah that's steep.

 

Keiran:

Yeah, and I'm not always thrilled with the quality of the food so I think we get the low end of the stick in terms of fine dining over here.

 

David:

Okay, I'm just going to do a quick calculation. I just went to work out how many ringgits, the Malaysian ringgits to the dollar. I'll follow the US dollar, my gosh so a full plate of food $1.12 US.

 

Keiran:

Oh my god, that's depressing.

 

David:

You get a full plate of food. In Australia that would cost, five to six times as much. This was just a little place, I just walked around the corner and saw a large buffet.

 

Keiran:

I would never cook again if food was that price in Canada.

 

David:

Yeah. It's wonderful.

 

Keiran:

So, David, what would say was the highlight of the trip? Or was there any interesting adventures or experiences you had?

 

David:

Uhm... Good question. I think, because I and my foody friend went through Myanmar, we did a bit of a food exploration, and we realized Burmese food is, it's a little bit of influence from a bit from India, bit from China. It's not really too spicy. I think the thing with, if you're eating in Myanmar, you'll order your curry but it looks actually very, very small. Maybe three or four chunks of meat when it comes out and you're thinking "wow that's not a lot" and then you get about six or seven side dishes full of vegetables. Suddenly your table is absolutely full of all of these little side dishes and you get rice, and you get unending soup. And yeah you can fill yourself up really well for just a couple of US dollars per person. 

 

Keiran:

Yeah, oh my god.

 

David:

Wow.

 

Keiran:

It makes living in North America so depressing.

 

David:

Yeah.

 

Keiran:

I remember Korean restaurants are just amazing in the same sense. You would go and you'd get served immediately and the food's cooking in front of you but you would get the side dishes, which is called pancha, and you'd always get four or six of them and they'd fill them up when they're empty.

 

David:

Yeah, it's unlimited side dishes. I really enjoyed that. Some of my Korean friends here in Brisbane took me out immediately for Korean food.

 

Keiran:

You don't pay extra for them, you're not punished by a hefty bill. At least not in Korea. I don't know about...

 

David:

Yeah, true.

 

Keiran:

What's the price range of Korean restaurants in Australia?

 

David:

Good question. You'd still pay around twenty to twenty five Australian dollars. What's that, maybe about just under twenty US dollars. Which isn't too bad, especially if you're having a hot pot which everyone shares.

 

Keiran:

Right.

 

David:

Everyone's pretty satisfied at the end and you have your Soju or your Makolli, or just your regular Korean beers.

 

Keiran:

Oh yeah. Yeah I always try to stay away from the Soju. That stuff was dangerous if you had too much of it, because they come in such small bottles and in Korea the bottles are, I don't think they're more than two dollars each

 

David:

Yes I remember that.

 

Keiran:

You go out with four or five people and by the end of the night your table's just covered in bottles and it's hard to stand up sometimes.

 

David:

Yeah, good memories.

 

Keiran:

Or hazy memories, depending how much Soju you had.

 

David:

Actually there was one food experience. I love exploring the food, that's obvious, talking about a food blog. Something I saw in Yangon in the south. We flew in to Yangon and we were flying out of Yangon, so I thought "alright I've got to find this again," it's a little street side store, the store holder has this bid bowl of broth and piled against the side is offal, nothing but offal. Kidneys and livers and intestines and tongue.

 

Keiran:

Sorry what was that word you said, I didn't hear it. "Piled on the side is" what?

 

David:

Offal, offal. O-F-F-A-L, innards. Guts.

 

Keiran:

Can you spell it for me, I'm not familiar with it.

 

David:

Yeah, O double F-A-L.

 

Keiran:

Okay. I learned something new, great. So explain again what it was, you said innards and intestines.

 

David:

Okay, you'd see this little, how would I say a little counter just above the big bowl of broth, and you'd maybe identify some of these insides of the animals. Like tongue and your tripe, your intestines, kidneys, liver. The store holder I could say would cut these into little kebab sizes, throw them onto a little bamboo kebab and just sit them in the broth, and then you just sit down and start eating away, and you count out the little skewers that are left. It was really, really interesting. AND I believe in not wasting the animal.

 

Keiran:

Yeah, yeah right.

 

David:

Yeah. A good example.

 

Keiran:

That sounds so interesting. That's one of the interesting parts about travelling is you always witness these things that are normal to the people who live in that area but they just blow your mind. This sounds really strange to me too, and I remember when I was in Mongolia, my wife is from Mongolia, her family I mean not her immediate family her uncles family have a sheep farm, and it's essentially a fence in the middle of the field with 700 sheep inside of a fence, and in the morning they just open the fence and all the sheep go out and they graze. And they tied one of the sheep up to the fence and I was confused, I was like "what are they doing with that sheep?" and that was our dinner.

 

 

But it's just one of those things that we don't see this, we don't witness this. I had a discussion with one of my Polish students, we don't see the process of the animal being killed and they kill it in a very quick way, and a very pain free way to the animal, out of respect for the animal, and they dismember the whole animal right there outside on the grass and I was just, I was just shocked, I was like "Oh my god, this is insane." We're not used to seeing that. At least I'm not. Right. 

 

David:

Definitely. They have a similar tradition in Slovakia, and I think also in the Czech Replublic. It's called a zabietska, which is "a little killing." And basically what happens is, just a family day, the family would have a pig that they had fed through the summer, it's getting cold, so for as winter sets in, they start about sunrise, they'll stone the pig, slaughter the pig, drain the blood, and then go through the process of converting the whole pig into basically pork products.

 

 

I was lucky enough that some of my students organized this zabietska for me and so I could see and join in the process from the beginning. In the morning we start with the brains, because that goes off quickly, fried up with scrambled eggs, put it on toast, that's your breakfast. Brain and egg on toast, yep. While we're cutting up onions and garlic for everything else, making sausages, making bacon, making pressed meat. It's really, really fascinating, the whole process.

 

Keiran:

Yeah, these are the experiences you don't have if you don't get out of the house and travel. Such an example, incredible way to experience life, to go around the world and see how other people live.

 

David:

Exactly. Something you ya, in Australia everything pretty much comes from the supermarket.

 

Keiran:

Right, right. It's the same thing in Canada.

 

David:

I think we just don't get to see the real the reality of food sometimes.

 

Keiran:

No, we just see the finely packaged piece of meat with a little label on it and a price. It's very uh, detached from what actually happens in the countries we live in, we don't see the whole process.

 

David:

Yeah. Actually I have a little confession to make. This is from my first year in Slovakia, because there are fruit trees everywhere. Until I actually saw apples on a tree, I never realized that the apple fruit actually grew in clusters, because every cartoon I'd seen of an apple tree, the apples were evenly distributed around the tree.

 

Keiran:

Yeah.

 

David:

When I saw apples for real I saw "hang on, the fruit are kind of clustered together, that's really strange."

 

Keiran:

Yeah, and there's nothing like eating apples fresh off the tree, they just taste so much different and so much better.

 

David:

Oh yeah, absolutely.

 

Keiran:

Well, David we're running out of time here so I just want to thank you, again, for coming on the podcast and sharing your experiences travelling with us.

 

David:

Yeah, thank you for having me again.

 

Keiran:

And guys, we're gonna do, for you listeners out there, we're gonna be doing the story telling challenge not too long in the future, so if you haven't signed up for the newsletter you can go do it on my Facebook page, you can go do it on uncensoredenglish.ca and of course we'll send you guys podcast updates with all the transcripts and all the announcements for upcoming events. Alright again, so again, thank you David, have a great day.

 

David:

Will do, you too.

 

Keiran:

We'll catch you guys on the next episode of Uncensored English.

 

Dec 20, 2016

How can you say something is gaining momentum? Today we share a great idiom exactly for that purpose. Also we laugh at ourselves and the ridiculous car accident that happened in Montreal last week. 

 *** Transcript*** 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HfDZixZFzms  <-- Accident video

 

 

Keiran:

All right, what's up everybody? Today on the podcast we have one of the other famous Canadians back on here with us. How's it going Edward?

 

Edward:

It's going well, it's good to be famous.

 

Keiran:

Yes it is good to be famous, I wish I had a little more of that uh financial fame though.

 

Edward:

No, no, the notoriety, just the, just the fame in terms of no money attached to it, that's where it's at.

 

Keiran:

That's what you're going for.

 

Edward:

That's what I'm going for, yeah.

 

Keiran:

Well, we were going to do a video podcast today but Edward is a little bit embarrassed because my beard is more glorious than his.

 

Edward:

Sounds right.

 

Keiran:

So unfortunately, we're just going to do an audio one today. But O got um, one of my students sent me this video, I didn't hear about this until he sent it to me, and it's a pretty funny video. And uh, you've seen the video, right?

 

Edward:

I watched the video yesterday. I had actually talked to students about it during the week, describing it, because I'd read a headline about it and I'd read a little article about it. I described it to my students without having watched it, and I finally watched it yesterday, and it lived up to the description. It was even more ridiculous that I thought it would be.

 

Keiran:

Yeah yeah, you're right, and a few weeks we did a podcast on Russians and we made of Russians for Russian stereotypes, so you know why not laugh, let's laugh at ourselves today?

 

Edward:

It was embarrassing, it's definitely embarrassing, and once we've described it I think people will see why it's an embarrassment for Montreal. Not for Canada as a whole, I think the city of Montreal comes out looking really badly.

 

Keiran:

Right, like I think if this was Vancouver and they had a snowstorm in Vancouver- okay, we've got to describe what the video is a little bit. We're going to watch the video, we're going to describe it to you guys, but basically what the video is is there was a mild, I would call it a mild snowstorm. I wouldn't even call it a snowstorm. I would say there was a heavy snowfall in Montreal, and the next day there was a series of comical car collisions because of it, 

 

Edward:

involving city vehicles. Which, it makes it especially enjoyable or embarrassing depending on what side you're on I guess. But yeah, they just did not do a very good job at all of clearing the road or of salting the road, or of putting sand down, or gravel.

 

Keiran:

Or anything.

 

Edward:

And they paid the price. City vehicles paid the price. In the end though, taxpayers will have to pay for the repairs.

Keiran:

Yeah, that means us.

 

 

 

Edward:

We still pay the price, yes.

Edward:

But it's funny to watch I guess.

 

Definitely, maybe that's priceless.

 

Keiran:

The reason why this is so embarrassing for us as Montrealers, is because we are a city that handles snow removal generally very well, right?

 

Edward:

We have to.

 

 

I mean, every year winter comes and we have to put millions of dollars towards removing the snow so that the city can still function, so this is embarrassing.

 

Keiran:

It's very embarrassing, but you know if you're in another part of Canada like Vancouver, in Vancouver if there's one centimeter of snow-

 

Edward:

Which there is like right now.

 

Keiran:

Really?

 

Edward:

Yeah, the last week there have been stories about, kind of similar things happening in Vancouver, but it's understandable. In Vancouver they're not prepared for-

 

Keiran:

No, they never get snow. They don't even need winter tires there.

 

Edward:

That's the problem. People don't have winter tires, so now that there is a little bit of snow they're sliding around like crazy.

 

Keiran:

So guys, what we're going to do is we're going to play the video and then I guess, you want to the narration for the video?

 

Edward:

Sure, it's just it's a minute and 47 seconds, if people want to watch this video they can find it on Youtube. If they search for icy road in Montreal it should be one of the first videos that pop up.

 

Keiran:

Right, and I'm going to put the link in the description anyways, in the podcast description.

 

Edward:

There you go.

 

Keiran:

So, here we go. This narration is brought to you by Edward, and do you want to plug your podcast?

 

Edward:

Sure. You've probably heard my voice before on this podcast, but I do have Edwards ESL Edge podcast as well, and you can find that on Itunes, on Soundcloud, anywhere in the world.

 

Keiran:

So, if you're a first time listener to the podcast, you can also check out Edwards after this. All right, so let's watch the video and Edwards going to narrate things for you.

 

Edward:

Okay, so right now a city bus is sliding quite quickly down- oh. Just slammed into a bunch of parked cars, and they are all sliding into an intersection. Pretty good so far. Now, a taxi driver has done a heroic spin maneuver to avoid the bus. Fast forward to, looks like a worker in his truck, pick-up truck, has just slammed into the bus.

 

Keiran:

The ladder really flew out there a little bit.

 

Edward:

Now, there's another city bus coming, it's picking up steam. I wonder, I mean-

 

Keiran:

It's so stupid.

 

Edward:

You probably have a full busload of people. This street is, it's downhill, so once they start sliding on the ice there's no stopping, and now the bus is really-

 

Keiran:

Yeah, it's picking up speed.

 

Edward:

Just smashed into that work truck. It looked like something went into the windshield even. Now, the work truck is being pushed into the middle of the road, and oh boy.

 

Keiran:

I think this is the best part right here.

 

Edward:

Now, there's a police cruiser that has just spun around and is going down the hill backwards, and is completely out of control. Not going very fast, but-

 

Keiran:

He's got his lights on, too. Making him look like more of an idiot.

 

Edward:

Yeah, sirens are going off, and it just connected with the bus. This is the best though, this is a snowplow. The job of the snowplow is to clear the street, and it is sliding down the street.

 

Keiran:

You know, he's even salting the road as he goes.

 

Edward:

That's dedication. He is about to smash into the police cruiser.

 

Keiran:

And boom.

 

Edward:

The shovel on the front, like the plow on the front of the truck, really gets under the police cruiser and lifts it a couple of feet off the ground.

 

Keiran:

That was a great video.

 

Edward:

Yes, I've seen two versions of this now. I saw, there's a seven minute version of people at work watching from their office window and describing everything. It really is chaos.

 

Keiran:

We got to thank, a big shout out to Alex for sending me this video, and he was laughing at me and making fun of me during the class. Alex is one of my students. I was all up for it, man, because you know what when you look like an idiot, you've got to just laugh at yourself and enjoy the moment, and-

 

Edward:

It's easier when you can laugh as well.

 

Keiran:

It wasn't really me that did this. This is the thing about being Canadian, is like I don't associate myself with Canada, like I'm not a proud Canadian.

 

Edward:

You're not very patriotic?

 

Keiran:

No, I'm not patriotic at all. I enjoy living here, because it's a safe, fair, as fair as a country can be I think.

 

Edward:

It's a very good place to live.

 

Keiran:

Right, it's a good place to live.

 

Edward:

I don't know if there are any perfect places to live, but you know Canada is a very good place to live. Can I tell you yesterday, I- well I came back to Montreal from Toronto two days ago, and in Toronto there's no snow. Right now there is no snow on the ground at all. Actually, last time I was in Montreal I put my snow tires on my car, and then I drove back to Toronto and like I said no snow on the ground. So, yesterday was my first time actually driving in the snow this winter, and I went right through an intersection.

 

Keiran:

Nice.

 

Edward:

I was only going about 15 kilometers an hour, but-

 

Keiran:

You couldn't stop in time.

 

Edward:

Yeah, and even the ABS brakes were shaking, the car was just completely frozen in place, but sliding along the ice. Luckily nobody was in front of me and luckily, I mean it was a very small road so that's why they hadn't salted it I guess, but yeah it was a nice wake up call.

 

Keiran:

That's a fun part about the winter though, I like you, you got to change your driving style and sometimes you get the slippery roads and you get the ABS coming on.

 

Edward:

You need to have that experience like once in the winter to get you into winter driving mode, because after that I was like, "Okay, oh I have to start stopping, I have to start stopping 200 meters before the stop sign." Because otherwise, even if you're only going 15 kilometers an hour you're still potentially going to slide through the intersection.

 

Keiran:

All right guys, I think we're going to wrap this up. I hope you liked this podcast about us laughing at our own city. I hope you enjoyed the video, and- actually before we end the podcast, I noticed you said a good idiom throughout that podcast, which was the bus was picking up steam.

 

Edward:

Yes, to pick up steam.

 

Keiran:

Was it collecting steam that was on the road?

 

Edward:

I believe it was collecting steam from the road. Actually, it's a good expression to mean that you're picking up speed, you're getting faster and faster. I would like to say maybe it's from like a steamship in the past, you know a steamship picking up steam. Or maybe, actually probably a steam engine train makes more sense. You're picking up steam means you're going faster, you're putting out more steam.

 

Keiran:

Maybe, I don't really know, but that seems to make sense.

 

Edward:

That's for your students to find out, and tell you on, or during their next class.

 

Keiran:

During the class, come on the Facebook page, see if you guys can find out the meaning of picking up steam, the meaning, the origins of picking up steam. Right, and that's it guys, I hope you enjoyed this podcast, I hope you guys are picking up steam in your mastery of the English language through listening to our podcasts. Remember, this one is going to be transcripted so you can go find the transcript, and rate it, review it, and we'll catch you next time on the next podcast of uncensored English.

 

Dec 17, 2016

Are you working on improving your fluency? You're writing transcripts right? You're not writing transcripts? Really? Why not? Today I talk a little about writing transcripts, Xmas, some current events around the world and a few idioms.

Dec 15, 2016

There's so many ways to learn a language, today Sabrina from Calm English comes on to share some of her most creative techniques that you can use to retain the English you're learning in a more efficient manner. 

Dec 13, 2016

Learn a great way to express that you can connect with someone or you can't. Anna is back on the podcast and we bounce around this great idiom and have some fun.

*** Transcript***

 

Keiran:

Hey Anna, how's it going?

 

Anna:

Hello again, Keiran. How are you?

 

Keiran:

Good, I'm good. It's good to have you back on the podcast. So what's new with you?

 

Anna:

It's good to be back.

 

 

What's new? Not a lot. The sky is up, still.

 

Keiran:

Yeah, it's been a long time since we last talked.

 

Anna:

Yeah.

 

Keiran:

Anna, today on the podcast I thought it would be really fun if we could just share an idiomatic expression that you often hear in your life or that you often use, you know, with people around you or at least when you lived in Australia. People can use no matter where they go in the english speaking world.

 

 

So if you think about one, is there any one that pops into your mind?

 

Anna:

Yeah, there's one that I really like and that I use very often and that's "to be on the same wavelength as someone".

 

Keiran:

Okay, to be on the same wavelength. Okay, and what specifically do you mean by that?

 

Anna:

Yeah, you know how sometimes you go to a party and you meet someone and within a few minutes you kind of already know that you're going to be friends.

 

Keiran:

Yeah.

 

Anna:

Yeah, you have that moment where you're like, hang on we like, we think the same way or we're interested in the same things and straight away you're like, wow! This person and I, we share something, yeah? This saying to be "on the same wavelength as someone" basically explains that relationship. That we feel like, you know, a wavelength is part of what they use in radio for example, so it's like we're tuning in to the same radio station in our heads.

 

Keiran:

Right, exactly. That's an awesome way of explaining it.

 

Anna:

Yeah.

 

Keiran:

It's so interesting that you say that because it's so true that even when, you know, I would go on dates back in the day.

 

Anna:

Back in the day.

 

Keiran:

When I was single. It's an amazing thing that you can, you know, go out with someone and within a matter of minutes you're just like, mmm this person's nice but we're not on the same wavelength, right?

 

Anna:

Yup, exactly.

 

Keiran:

I can't see myself being with someone who doesn't like A, B, and C or I can't even connect ...

 

Anna:

Curb your enthusiasm.

 

Keiran:

Yeah, exactly. Right. You gotta be able to connect with someone. You gotta be on the same wavelength, I think to grow a long...

 

Anna:

Yeah.

 

Keiran:

... lasting relationship, right?

 

Anna:

Absolutely, and I think the weird thing about, you know being human is that there's no guidelines for who that's going to occur with.

 

Keiran:

Right.

 

Anna:

You could meet a group of people your same age, you know, same gender, same background and not really click with them. Not be on the same wavelength, but then suddenly you meet some ... This has happened to me. I meet some 75 year old German man, and I'm just like, wow! We really connect.

 

Keiran:

Yeah, yes.

 

Anna:

For some reason. It doesn't make any sense but we are on the same wavelength.

 

Keiran:

Right, that's amazing. It's interesting. I think that I've been someone over my life that I've never ... I've always had friends ...

 

Anna:

Mm-hmm (affirmative)

 

Keiran:

I've never clicked in a group. I always just felt like I was never part of a group. I never clicked.

 

Anna:

I'm the same way. Yeah, wow.

 

Keiran:

Then when I started doing comedy like, these people were on my wavelength.

 

Anna:

Yeah.

 

Keiran:

I can just like talk for hours about nothing and I'm like, oh! I was with the wrong people.

 

Anna:

Yes! The same thing happened to me, actually. Exactly the same when I moved into opera and like suddenly, for example, back when I started doing opera I had a non-opera boyfriend.

 

Keiran:

Mm-hmm (affirmative)

 

Anna:

I brought him to an opera party and I was like, I hope you're ready for what's about to happen because it was such a different ... As you probably know, performers, it's such a different world. Some people can't connect to that wavelength. Some people can't be on that wavelength.

 

Keiran:

Right, exactly. That's so funny. I actually remember one comedy show I went to. It was more of an amateur comedy show. I was on it and I had this other friend who was on it. He has this joke now that that comedy show destroyed his relationship with his girlfriend because it was ... I mean, some amateur comedy shows sometimes go too long. Amateur comedy, if it's not good it's painful.

 

Anna:

Yeah.

 

Keiran:

To the comedians, it either is painful but sometimes we can enjoy it cause, like we know these people. We them regularly. I can be like, wow! John's really bombing, look at that. The audience is just like, oh this is terrible but I'm laughing at that experience because I know ...

 

Anna:

Yeah.

 

Keiran:

... What it feels like and it's entertaining for me to see my friend fall to pieces. You know, in a different way.

 

Anna:

That was really interesting.

 

Keiran:

Yeah, so whose someone who you know are the type of person that you're not on the same wavelength as.

 

Anna:

Yeah, I was just thinking about that. To me, honestly, it's negative people. You know, people who have decided that either the world is against them or that work sucks and everyone is you know, a pain in the ass or something like that. You know, people who always complain, I find it very hard ...

 

Keiran:

Oh yeah.

 

Anna:

... To be on the wavelength with them because for me, I'm the kind of person  always trying to look at the good things, and what can we do? What's positive that we can take out of this? I find myself never being on the same wavelength as someone who is very negative and pessimistic.

 

Keiran:

Yeah, right. That's interesting. You know, it's interesting, I think my mom's a bit like that kind of person. Not really, she's a very positive person but she just gets into ... People get stuck in a mood sometimes.

 

Anna:

Right.

 

Keiran:

I know when she's stuck in a mood cause I'll just hear her be like, "ahhh", "ahhhh" and she'll do it like every 20 seconds and then ...

 

Anna:

The heave sighs.

 

Keiran:

Sometimes we're on the same wavelength but when I hear that I just kind of wish I had some kind of stick and I can just like push her away, you know. This wavelength that you're on is not what I want to be on.

 

Anna:

It's not for me.

 

Keiran:

Yeah, no.

 

Anna:

What about you? Is there a particular type of person you find you're not on the wavelength with?

 

Keiran:

I think I struggle with people who are too much into like, reality shows or pop culture. I mean, I don't mean pop culture. I like a lot of pop culture but like reality shows and I'm going to say ... I don't want to offend. I mean, I'm going to offend someone, but, bullshit artists.

 

Anna:

I know.

 

Keiran:

People who like, they make one song and it's really catchy. I don't know, I don't like worship of, like people who I don't feel aren't talented. I can't stand having a conversation with these people. I'm just like, no.

 

 

I don't want to just be like, that person sucks. That person's terrible cause I know this person loves them, you know. These people I can't have a conversation with cause I just have no respect for their opinion.

 

Anna:

Wow.

 

Keiran:

We're not on the same wavelength. I can't mesh ...

 

Anna:

The next time, if I come on again we should not be talking about Bachelorette Canada.

 

Keiran:

No...

 

Anna:

... Is what you're saying?

 

Keiran:

I mean I can have fun and watch it once or twice and laugh at it but like, people who take it seriously. I don't know. I just rather be wrapped up in my own reality then, like, watching another one.

 

Anna:

Right. Fair enough. Yeah, sure.

 

Keiran:

I can't lie and say I've never watched it. Back in the day I was like, this is great! Then I was like, this is dumb [inaudible 00:08:17]

 

Anna:

I don't know I think sometimes it's both. Sometimes we love to hate something.

 

Keiran:

Yeah, like everyone needs something to like, beat up, once in a while or something, right.

 

Anna:

Yeah, absolutely. We're kind of suckers for it.

 

Keiran:

Right.

 

Anna:

Yeah.

 

Keiran:

What about you? Is there any other thing that you're ... Any other people who you totally are on the same wavelength on?

 

Anna:

Interesting you should ask that. Let me think about that.

 

 

I guess my mom and I have always been on the same wavelength. I love both my parents, I love my whole family. I've got a really great family. I'm very lucky.

 

Keiran:

Mm-hmm (affirmative).

 

Anna:

My mom and I in particular, we've kind of always just, we just get each other. We just understand each other.

 

Keiran:

Yeah.

 

Anna:

She has this habit of not finishing her sentences so she'll just say, oh I really need to go to the uh... And then she doesn't say anything. Over time, I think I kind of learned to mind read a bit and kind of know what she was going to say. I think that kind of helped keep us on that same wavelength.

 

Keiran:

Great. Is your mom kind of artistic like you are in the sense?

 

Anna:

She's an academic, actually. She's more the brains of the operation.

 

Keiran:

Okay.

 

Anna:

Yeah.

 

Keiran:

That's interesting.

 

Anna:

What about you?

 

Keiran:

Ahhh, I think, people who I'm not on the same wavelength with I already described that. People who are on the same wavelength really, it's just I think people who like to analyze society and kind of...

 

Anna:

Yeah, cool.

 

Keiran:

... Pinpoint ... I find through teaching english online I met lots of people who sooner or later they'll get on to, like, corruption. It's this pick topic that's really popular with a lot of students.

 

Anna:

Yeah.

 

Keiran:

They like to talk about how their country's corrupt and they like to say, "you would never understand my country, you would never understand". I like that topic, I like looking at our societies and kind of saying, what's wrong with it?

 

Anna:

Yeah, what can be better?

 

Keiran:

That's a wavelength that I know a lot of people aren't on. I have friends who, they love politics and stuff and I'm just like, no I can't trust politics.

 

Anna:

Yeah.

 

Keiran:

Political people are not on the same wavelength as me. What about you? Here's the thing, do you vote or do you ...

 

Anna:

Well, we don't have a choice. In Australia it's compulsory.

 

Keiran:

Oh, that's weird.

 

Anna:

Everyone votes. I would say I am into politics but less so now than I used to be. I think for me it's more, like, exactly what we were saying about The Bachelorette. I kind of love to hate it and I kind of ... I like being ... I wouldn't say I'm part of it but I like following it partly because I'm just like, oh that's so stupid and oh, why would they do that?

 

Keiran:

Yeah.

 

Anna:

... And oh, it's all going wrong. It's all going in the wrong direction. I kind of, I don't know, take some sort of weird perverse pleasure in that.

 

Keiran:

That's the level I'm on.

 

Anna:

Yeah.

 

Keiran:

We're on the critical, like, we're analyzing it from the outside.

 

Anna:

Yeah.

 

Keiran:

The level that other of my friends are on is like, they've chosen a party and I'm just like, no. The system is broken, don't you see? It doesn't matter which party you choose.

 

Anna:

Yeah. Do you think that's true in every country though? Or just in Canada?

 

Keiran:

I mean, I can't say. I haven't lived in every country.

 

Anna:

Yeah.

 

Keiran:

I don't know. I just know that I don't trust either party.

 

Anna:

Yeah.

 

Keiran:

In Canada we have several parties. The U.S. I think that's an unfortunate reality. They only have two.

 

Anna:

Yeah. It's kind of very similar in Australia, actually.

 

Keiran:

Okay, so you guys have two also?

 

Anna:

Yeah, we have two main parties. We do have some smaller independent parties and the Greens party but really, there's no competition. It's always going to be one or the other.

 

Keiran:

Right.

 

Anna:

In terms of who wins.

 

 

Yeah, I mean it really comes down to that age-old debate, you know, is it better to be on the outside criticizing it or is it better to be on the inside changing it? I don't know that there's a simple answer to that.

 

Keiran:

Right. My thing is, I don't vote because I just think the system's broken, like, people are upset in the U.S. that they elected Trump but if they didn't elect Trump, you would have got Hilary whose pretty much just as bad.

 

Anna:

Yeah, we're going to disagree on that one because she has her faults, don't get me wrong, but I wouldn't say she's nearly as bad. I think she was about as bad as any politician is. Whereas I think he's at a whole other level.

 

Keiran:

Yeah, he's not a politician or anything.

 

Anna:

Yeah, but that's kind of ...

 

Keiran:

That's why he got elected because people are tired of politicians. I think that's the main reason.

 

Anna:

Yeah, but the majority didn't vote for him which is a whole other.

 

Keiran:

Right, that's their electoral system, really.

 

Anna:

Yeah.

 

Keiran:

Right, it's weird, I know.

 

Anna:

Well, hey, at least you're independent. In Australia we're still connected to the common wealth. We're still British. We still don't have a president.

 

Keiran:

Yeah.

 

Anna:

Just a prime minister.

 

Keiran:

That's weird. Well, we have a prime minister.

 

Anna:

You don't have a president. Do you elect them directly or do you elect the parties and then he's ...

 

Keiran:

You elect the ... What do we elect? I forget. We have parties ...

 

Anna:

I can tell you're very passionate about this.

 

Keiran:

That's why I'm telling you. I really don't like politics.

 

Anna:

Okay. I think we should stick to TV.

 

Keiran:

Yeah, we should stick to the wavelength that we were on before.

 

 

I'm definitely on the wavelength of the critical person and I don't even care enough about politics to ...

 

Anna:

Yeah.

 

Keiran:

To be on the wavelength as someone whose going to support the party.

 

Anna:

Yeah, I understand.

 

Keiran:

All right. Okay, we got to wrap this one up.

 

Anna:

Yeah.

 

Keiran:

Anna it was so great having you back on.

 

Anna:

Nice chatting to you too. We got a little sidetracked there but ...

 

Keiran:

That's what happens in a great conversation. I think that's what people...

 

Anna:

That's true.

 

Keiran:

... Want to hear anyways. I hope you bump into some people later on today who you're on the same wavelength with and, you know.

 

Anna:

I'm going to see my boyfriend. I guess he counts.

 

Keiran:

I hope so. All right, well, thanks so much Anna and we'll catch you next time.

 

Anna:

Yeah, I look forward to it. See you later, Keiran. Have a good one.

 

Keiran:

All right, chao.

 

Anna:

Bye.

 

 

 

Dec 10, 2016

How do you say you've been working hard? Today on Uncensored English we share a great idiom you can use to express that you've been working hard. Also Keiran talks about chickens, creating a healthy work life balance and what one of our Russian listeners had to say about the podcast. 

 

***No Transcript today but check out the Youtube Channel for the Video Version!***

Dec 8, 2016

How to improve your English? You could read English books and study how the language is used, you could watch tv and read a transcript as you go along. Or you could listen to the silliest most inappropriate podcast right here! On this episode of Uncensored English Gabe joins Keiran and they shoot the shit about Russian stereotypes. Don't worry, if this offended you, you can get back to us. Listen up for our challenge at the end of the podcast.

 

***Transcript***

 

Keiran:

Today on Uncensored English podcast number 114, Gabe O'Massi comes back on, and he and I shoot the shit about Russian stereotypes. We discuss hypothetical situations about what would happen if we lived in Russia. Lastwee, lastly we offer a little challenge for your Russians out there if you want to come join us on the podcast, so listen up in the end. Let's get this thing started.

 

Automated:

The following podcast is not intended for younger audiences. It contains coarse language, adult topics, controversial ideas, and is riddled with insanity. Listener's discretion is strongly advised.

 

Keiran:

What's up everybody? This is Keiran the crazy Canadian, and welcome to another podcast of Uncensored English because English isn't always PC. What's up everybody? Today, we have good ole Gabriel back on the podcast. How's it going buddy?

 

Gabriel:

(whistles) Hey babies, how's it going?

 

Keiran:

*chuckles* I haven't seen you in awhile. What have you been up to man?

 

Gabriel:

Not much. I've been exercising, drinking a lot of coffee. Oh wait, oh no, get out of my room. I'm doing a podcast. Sorry, my mom is here. Yeah You're on TV, yeah.

 

Keiran:

You're famous. Everyone's listening to you.

 

Gabriel:

Am I on TV? Anyway, sorry. How are you on TV? I'm on the phone.

 

Keiran:

Does your mom know what a podcast is?

 

Gabriel:

No, I don't know. My mom's crazy.

 

Keiran:

That's hilarious man. You've got to resolve that situation.

 

Gabriel:

Yeah, anyway. She's gone now.

 

Keiran:

Alright anyways, I hope everyone's doing well out there. I recently upgraded my podcasting host, and now I get to see where all the listeners come from. I found out that a good percentage of the listeners are in Russia. So today, me and Gabriel are going to do a little bit of teasing, a little bit of mocking. We're going to make fun of you Russians out there.

 

Gabriel:

Yeah.

 

Keiran:

We're going to go through ten stereotypes about Russians. And just I don’t know we're going to see what we think about you even though neither of us have ever been there.

 

Gabriel:

Yeah, I've never been to Russia, and I don't think I'll ever fucking go to Russia either.

 

Keiran:

Why do you never want to go to Russia man?

 

Gabriel:

Cause that’s uh, they're in bed with Trump's baby. You know what they say about Trump, he's a bad guy.

 

Keiran:

Yeah, he's clearly a bad guy, but what do you mean they're in bed with Trump?

 

Gabriel:

You know, shit, okay I don't know. I don't know. I have no idea. I don't know. I'm stupid.

 

Keiran:

Anyways, let's do a stereotype. The first one we're doing today, Russians are flashy.

 

Gabriel:

Russians are flashy. Yeah, if I were Russian, I would like not know that I was so flashy because all I see is fuckin flashy shit, and I would think it's normal.

 

Keiran:

If I was Russian, I would probably wear a fur coat or something.

 

Gabriel:

Yeah, that's true. Yeah, shoot all they wear ... like uh. They have these golden necklaces and hairy ass chests and a track pant suit and a track pant sweater, if that makes sense.

 

Keiran:

You know those hats they have when you go to the Jewish part of town where they kind of look like a big birthday cake on the guy's head?

 

Gabriel:

Yeah.

 

Keiran:

I think Russian people have that hat, but I think it's a little bit less wide. What are those things called?

 

Gabriel:

Yeah, uhh .. shit man, I don't know what they're called. They're just stupid hats.

 

Keiran:

Alright let's go to the next stereotype. Russian clubs are very exclusive.

 

Gabriel:

Oh, Man, if I was in Russia, I would make sure ... I know how to be cool, you know? This is a hard one. I don't know. I don't ever go to the ... If I were Russian, I wouldn't go to those clubs because you know what I like to chat and hang out and have a nice beer or a vodka as they call beer there.

 

Keiran:

If you were Russian, you would go to a Russian dive bar or something like that.

 

Gabriel:

Yeah. Hang out, I'd go on Russian Tinder and meet a Russian lady.

 

Keiran:

Okay. Let's go to the next one. Gender roles are alive and well in Russia.

 

Gabriel:

Ah man, If I were Russian, I'd make sure everything would be more politically correct. I would make sure that my lady-

 

Keiran:

Dude, really? I think you'd get your ass kicked in Russia. This one ... I have a lot of Russian students, and I agree with this. The women are very feminine, and the men are pretty masculine.

 

Gabriel:

The thing is I'm very in touch with my feminine side. I know what ... Let people be whatever they want to be. I don't want to be masculine all the time because it's exhausting.

 

Keiran:

You don't have to be hyper masculine, but I think ... It's like-

 

Gabriel:

I'm lazy.

 

Keiran:

Over here sometimes we have men who are like women, and we have women who act like men.

 

Gabriel:

Like Caitlyn Jenner?

 

Keiran:

No, that's a man who's become a woman.

 

Gabriel:

Okay.

 

Keiran:

They're saying-

 

Gabriel:

Anyway.

 

Keiran:

If I was in ... Next one, there's a lot of corruption in Russia.

 

Gabriel:

Ah man, these are way more difficult. If I were a political figure in Russia, I would take advantage of the corruption and cash in, baby.

 

Keiran:

Oh man, yeah, if I were in Russia I would have a hard time with the corruption. I guess that's the way to live if you're a political figure, right?

 

Gabriel:

Yeah it's almost like becoming a businessman. It's like a business. You go, and you get into politics, you get your hands greased up by the fish lobbies or whatever.

 

Keiran:

Yeah.

 

Gabriel:

I don't know what Russia exports.

 

Keiran:

Go with the flow, right?

 

Gabriel:

They export fucking sadness.

 

Keiran:

Yeah, I had one student who said, "If you want to have a good life in Russia, you have to be friends with a doctor and a policeman because otherwise you're not going to have good protection or good medical services." Alright let's go to the next one, Russians are blunt and serious.

 

Gabriel:

Uh.. I’ve never really hung out ... I have had a few Russian girlfriends and-

 

Keiran:

*laughs* I’ve never met a Russian before, except for all those girls I dated.

 

Gabriel:

Yeah, I dated a girl from Ukraine. I know that's not Russia, but it might as well be Russia. She was horrible. She was so mean to me, and I liked her so much. She did not like me, and I tried to like date her, but she didn't think I was funny. She would show me pictures of other men, of other cooler looking men, and I was like man one day I'll be fucking cool. Then one day I saw her at a bar, and she was kind of fat and ugly, and I was like man I'm fucking hot. I have a huge dick. Anyway, so yeah, that's my story.

 

Keiran:

So basically, the point of your story is Ukrainian women are bitches, and you don't know much about Russian women because you can't remember the women you've dated.

 

Gabriel:

The one I dated, that was a long time ago. Good head.

 

Keiran:

Good to know. Let's go to the next one, Russians are superstitious.

 

Gabriel:

Man, I don't know. Are they? Yeah sure. If I was Russian, I'd be superstitious according to this show. I mean are they religious? That's the same thing? Scared of God?

 

Keiran:

Are they religious? I don't know. I generally don't talk to my students about religion that much unless it's a topic that the student enjoys.

 

Gabriel:

A lot of them are Jewish aren't they? I guess not anymore ever since 1940.

 

Keiran:

I don't know. That's a good question. I'm going to let that one go. We're going to ask the listeners out there at the end of the podcast. Are Russians religious, and are they superstitious?

 

Gabriel:

Yeah because as a man of faith I want to know. By the way, I got that email from ... I don't know who I got that email from, but I never responded to her because I was so lazy, but now that I read it, and I appreciate you.

 

Keiran:

Oh yeah, from one of our listeners.

 

Gabriel:

Yeah, yeah. She was nice. I think she actually thought I was religious, which I am by the way. So, thank you.

 

Keiran:

No you're not you liar.

 

Gabriel:

Sure, yeah.

 

Keiran:

Let's go on. Russian babushkas.

 

Gabriel:

What the fuck is that?

 

Keiran:

The babushka or Russian granny is a pervasive image in western culture, and she exists. There are a lot of older Russian women in Russia who look exactly like stereotypical babushkas; small and short with scarfs around their head ready to run you down with a wheeled shopping cart.

 

Gabriel:

Oh, my grandmother kind of looks like that, but she's Greek. She's kind of short and fat and old, and she's got a lot of energy. She's a terrible cook. I don't know, but yeah.

 

Keiran:

If I was in Russia I would hang out with the babushkas and drink some vodka, and then pick fights with younger people because you can't beat up old ladies.

 

Gabriel:

If I were in Russia and were Russian, I'd love my babushka, and I'd visit her.

 

Keiran:

Ahhh You sweetie. We're down to two more. Russian women are extremely beautiful.

 

Gabriel:

Man, Yo, I could attest to that man. If I were Russian, man, I would be in heaven with all those Russian babes. I also watch a lot of Russian porn, and some of them are like ... Anyway, you get the idea.

 

Keiran:

Yeah, I think I know what you do. Would you settle down or would you play the game forever if you were in Russia?

 

Gabriel:

I'd play the field, which means I'd go around, and I'd meet people. And then like one day I'd be at a bar, and then a Russian girl would come through the door entering the bar, and she'd steal my heart.

 

Keiran:

You'd settle down in the long run.

 

Gabriel:

Eventually, you know, I want to have a cute kid.

 

Keiran:

I don't think I would settle down if I was single in Russia. I had one student, Boris, and he was like ... I'm like, "Do you have a girlfriend?" He was like, "Why I have girlfriend? There's more women in Russia."

 

Gabriel:

That's hilarious.

 

Keiran:

Last stereotype, Russians love vodka.

 

Gabriel:

Yeah, I love ... I don't like Russian vodka to be honest or the European trash. I love Am ... I'm sorry, let me phrase this right. If I were Russian, I wouldn't drink the vodka in Russia. I'd drink Tito's Austin, Texas vodka. Delicious. Hmm, hmm, hmm.

 

Keiran:

If you were in Russia, you would drink Austin, Texas vodka?

 

Gabriel:

Yeah, it's really good.

 

Keiran:

Yeah, I don't know if that's a good choice. I think if I was in Russia, I would trust the Russian vodka because they've been drinking it for awhile.

 

Gabriel:

Yeah, what do they drink there? What's the fucking vodka that they drink in Russia, specifically? [crosstalk 00:12:16].

 

Keiran:

I'm sure they got a shitload of brands man. In Mongolia alone, they had at least 20 brands of vodka there.

 

Gabriel:

Holy shit.

 

Keiran:

They've got a lot of different vodka over there.

 

Gabriel:

I like vodka, man. I love martinis and shit. I love vodka martinis, delicious.

 

Keiran:

Alright, alright, good. Guys, I hope you enjoyed me and Gabriel shitting on your stereotypes. We're going to make a little offer to all the Russians out there who are listening today. Gabriel has agreed to participate in this challenge. All you guys got to do, the Russian listeners out there, is if you want to have uh a conversation with Gabriel-

 

Gabriel:

Yeah man.

 

Keiran:

Gabriel's probably looking more out for the women, but if you're a guy too, you can participate. You can talk to Gabriel for ... How long is the conversation going to be, 15-20 minutes?

 

Gabriel:

Yeah, whatever. Yeah, you know what would be cool? If you guys come up with Canadian stereotypes to get us back.

 

Keiran:

Yeah, yeah, you can make fun of us Canadians on the call.

 

Gabriel:

Yeah, then we could dispute it. I could be like, "Hey man, I don't fucking do that shit."

 

Keiran:

OK here's what you got to do, if you want to participate, if you want to have a conversation with Gabriel, all you got to do is make a short little audio recording of yourself. Tell us what you think of Gabriel and our stupid podcast about you Russians out there, and send it in. Gabriel's going to listen to all the recordings he gets, and he's going to choose the winner, and we're going to line up a podcast with you and Gabriel on Uncensored English.

 

Gabriel:

Here's a little hint, talk about your big boobs. I'm joking.

I’m joking, I’m joking.

Keiran:

Oh my God. You're going to get a picture from some extremely fat Russian guy names Vladimir who has the hugest knockers.

 

Gabriel:

That's cool. I like that too.

 

Keiran:

All right guys, this podcast has been completely silly and stupid. We did actually do some grammar practice. We didn't actually tell you about it, but the whole time we did if statements. If I lived in Russia, I would do this. Listen to it again. Have some fun, laugh at this silly podcast, and send us an email. Actually just send Gabriel the email because he's going to pick. Gabriel, what's your email?

 

Gabriel:

Okay, listen carefully. It's gabomassi@gmail.com, G-A-B-O-M-A-S-S-I @gmail.com. G-A-B-O-M-A-S-S-I.

 

Keiran:

G-A-B-O-M-A-S-S-I @gmail.com. Record a little audio of yourself. Send it into Gabriel, and we're going to line up the follow up podcast for all you dirty Russians out there. That's it, we'll catch you on the next podcast of Uncensored English.

 

 

Dec 6, 2016

Are you looking for a way to challenge your English? Want to speak to native English speakers in a group? Why the hell haven't you done our Story Telling Challenge. Today we have the second winner from the Story Telling Challenge #2 on the podcast. We talk about technology, knees, and the possible cyborg future. Don't be a chicken to the next challenge!

 

*** Transcript*** 

 

 

Keiran:

All right. What's up, everybody. Today, on the podcast, we have two guests with us. We have Max [Lemire 00:00:09], the American, the Trump supporter, back on the podcast. How's it going, Max?

 

Max:

Hey, Keiran. I'm not a Trump supporter, but thanks for that. Doing well, thanks. How are you?

 

Keiran:

I'm good, I'm good. Thank you. Then we also have Pavel who was one of the participants in our Storytelling challenge. How are you doing, Pavel?

 

Pavel:

Hello. I'm fine.

 

Keiran:

Good. All right. Great. Max, why don't you and Pavel get to know each other for one minute while I pull up the article?

 

Max:

Sure, sure. Pavel, what are you doing for work?

 

Pavel:

I'm working as a software developer.

 

Max:

Nice. Are you working on cell phone applications?

 

Pavel:

Cell phone applications, too, as well.

 

Max:

All right. What's the main application?

 

Pavel:

Last year, I'm working on entertainment publications for iPhones.

 

Max:

Nice. That sounds fun. I don't code very well, but I tried to do a bit in university. After the hard physics related stuff, I just stopped doing any of it.

 

Keiran:

All right. You're not a big fan of physics then, Max.

 

Max:

It's hard to program it. I like physics, but it's hard to program.

 

Keiran:

That's great because we got a perfect topic for you then today. We're going to talk a little bit about some sciences, and I don't know if it's physics related stuff, but I'm going to read the title of this article so the listeners can know a little bit about what we're talking about. I'm going to post the article in the transcript so you guys can read it if you want. Then Max and Pavel and I are going to just have a conversation about it. The title of this and the caption below it, The Innovators, The Silk Road to Reducing Knee Operations. New bio material called FibroFix re-spins a silk protein like a spider into tough cartilage type material for knee implants, cutting the rising number of expensive knee replacement ops.

 

 

Basically, they created a material that's similar to a spider web or I guess silkworms web or webbing or whatever, and they're going to use this to reduce the cost of knee operations. I'm going to read a little bit more here. Silkworms and spiderwebs may hold the solution to one of the Western world's most pressing health problems, the surge in the need for knee replacements as the population grows older and more obese.

 

 

Max, what do you think about this, using technology that we're mimicking silkworms or spider worms to replace faulty knees?

 

Max:

I think that's fantastic. Typically, what we're making replacement parts for people out of are either other animals. We use pig heart valves for heart valve replacements in people, we use pig's valves. Otherwise, we're using mechanical ones made out of metal and other different I guess materials. If we're able to use something that's organic, more organic, I think it's better because our body won't reject it.

 

Keiran:

All right. What do you think about that, Pavel? Do you think this article and what they're proposing is a good idea?

 

Pavel:

Yes, I think it's a very good idea to use spider proteins for a human tissues. Also, I'm very glad that the science in general still developing. Still there are many things that need to be developed, and scientists still working on it.

 

Keiran:

This is pretty amazing technology, I think, but the one thing I think is that, to me, it seems like one step closer to ... We're using organic materials to heal ourselves or to treat ourselves so that we can last longer.

 

Max:

Exactly.

 

Keiran:

This is the principle behind this article. Max?

 

Max:

I totally agree with that. I think the big deal of the article is right now the implants they're using are real expensive, and these are going to be a lot cheaper so people are going to be able to afford the operation.

 

Keiran:

If you think about this a little more, it seems like we're just one step away or a few steps away from organically combining robotics and humans. If they're doing this to replace a knee, weak knees or bad knees, I imagine in the future, we're going to be seeing some kind of cyborg. This is a good idea. Pavel, you agree with that. Max, you agree with that, but what if we go towards replacing bad knees with robotics that make us stronger, superior? Do you think this is maybe dangerous for us?

 

Max:

I've always dreamed of becoming half robot, half man, so I think that would be ... Even if there's risks involved, I think it's worth it. What do you think, Pavel?

 

Pavel:

I don't think there is something dangerous to be more robotics for people. Maybe people will be better. I think most of people will be better.

 

Keiran:

You guys are both in favor of combining robotics, basically upgrading human beings with robotic limbs.

 

Max:

Yeah. How do you feel about that, Keiran?

 

Keiran:

I think for someone like me or you or Pavel, I think it's fine. If we had a bad knee and we want to just go for a walk or a run, that's fine, but if we use robotic in replacements in military soldiers, that might be problematic, no?

 

Max:

It would be scary. It's just like any technology. It's going to be whoever has the newest technology has the strongest army. That's been a classic. Whoever had tanks first was dominant in World War I. Then whoever had the better tanks in World War II. I think it's more World War II, but technology will always be like that no matter what happens. I'm looking forward to becoming half man, half silkworm. Like this article says, I can become part silkworm.

 

Keiran:

Ok that's weird.

 

Max:

Joke.

 

Keiran:

Pavel, would you be worried about anything if we were, we were approving cyborg limbs? Would any of this worry you?

 

Pavel:

Excuse me. I did not hear the last part of phrase.

 

Keiran:

No problem. If we legalize cyborg limbs, like robotic knees and robotic arms, for people who have arm problems, do you think this would maybe be dangerous in any way?

 

Pavel:

No. I think it can be dangerous because people can use a robotic arms or guns or rifles. What's the difference? If people want to be evil or dangerous, they can find a way anywhere.

 

Keiran:

That's an interesting point.

 

Max:

That's a good point. You're saying, Pavel, the tool doesn't matter. If the person's going to break the law, they can do it already.

 

Pavel:

Exactly. If people want to do something good, they can get better abilities for it. I think it's good for every side.

 

Keiran:

All right. I guess that makes sense. You're saying if people are going to do bad things, they're just going to do them. It doesn't matter if they have robotic legs or guns. The robotics upgrades are not going make them do it more. They're already going to do those bad actions. That's basically what you're saying. I just think we had this shooting a few years ago in Montreal, Pavel, where this guy went to a college with a machine gun and he killed many people in that college. Do you remember that, Max, the Dawson shooting?

 

Max:

Yeah. I was there a few weeks before it happened. It was scary.

 

Keiran:

If they never had machine guns, he probably would have still did something. Maybe he would have went in with a sword, but he would have done less, right?

 

Max:

Right, right. I see what you mean.

 

Keiran:

Maybe. Maybe. Who knows? Maybe with a sword, he would have to be a more fit person to actually do it. I don't know.

 

Max:

Maybe if he had to dedicate a few years to learning the sword, he would have found peace instead of going on a crime with someone that's easy to use. I'm not even joking. It takes a lot of training to use those things.

 

Keiran:

To use a sword?

 

Max:

Yeah. To use it well and to be able to defend yourself.

 

Keiran:

All right. Any last thoughts about this, Pavel, before we finish it up?

 

Pavel:

Actually, no.

 

Keiran:

What about you, Max?

 

Max:

I still want to be half man, half silkworm.

 

Keiran:

Pavel and Max are still on the cyborg boat, and I'm against the cyborgs. All right. Pavel, thanks for coming on so much and for doing this. I know this is challenging, but it's a great challenge for you, and I think you did really well.

 

Max:

Thanks for coming, Pavel.

 

Pavel:

Thank you. It was nice to meet you.

 

Max:

It was nice to meet you, too.

 

Keiran:

All right. Max, we don't really appreciate you because you're a dirty American, but I guess we should thank you a little bit.

 

Max:

I guess I'm just patient then.

 

Keiran:

Thanks also, Max, for coming on. Guys, if you're listening to this and you want to do the next Storytelling challenge, then listen up for it because you can come on like Pavel and can have a conversation with another native speaker and really challenge your own English. You can like it, subscribe to us, and check it out on the Facebook page, too. We'll put more updates up there soon. Thanks, guys, and we'll catch you on the next episode of Censored English.

 

 

Dec 3, 2016

How to express that you are overwhelmed with work, garbage, or you have to many things to do. Today on the podcast we briefly talk about being swamped. Then we fill you sexy listeners out there in on a special challenge we have coming up next week. Lastly Sabrina joins me on the podcast to discuss a hot topic right now, flag burning in America. 

 

***No Transcript*** Video Version available on Youtube

 

 

Nov 30, 2016

Have you felt confused about what to say in the beginning of a conversation? Have you ever felt lost in a conversation? Today on Uncensored English two native English speakers talk to each other for the very first time! Anna the Australian English teacher joins me and we speak to each other for the very first time live on the podcast.

 

*** Transcript *** 

 

Keiran:

Hey Anna! How's a going?

 

Anna:

Hello, Hello Keiran! Nice to meet you finally.

 

Keiran:

Yeah it's good to meet you. So what's the weather over there like?

 

Anna:

(laughter) Well, it's probably not much for you, but for me it's very cold. It's just gotten down to zero and it's starting to go under.

 

Keiran:

Okay, and where exactly are you?

 

Anna:

Oh, I'm in Germany, sorry. Um but so I am originally from Australia, as you can probably hear from my accent. Yes I am living in Germany, living and working in Germany for a bit over a year now.

 

Keiran:

Okay, great, and what have you been doing?

 

Anna:

Mostly teaching, actually. I kind of have two lives, so I work as a teacher and a translator on one side, but on the other side I work as a musician, as an opera singer.

 

Keiran:

Oh great, that's awesome.

 

Anna:

Yeah. What about you? Like where are you located?

 

Keiran:

I'm in Montreal, Montreal Canada.

 

Anna:

Oh, wonderful.

 

Keiran:

And I used to have two lives, I used to be as cool as you, I don't anymore. Um I used to be teaching ... well I would say teaching full time ... and then doing stand-up comedy.

 

Anna:

Noooo

 

Keiran:

Yeah, but actually I was teaching and I was doing stand-up comedy, and then I was podcasting and, unfortunately how it is in Montreal, is that it's not very good to make a living doing comedy.

 

Anna:

Yeah.

 

Keiran:

So the teaching was going great. The podcasting, I didn't put too much energy into it up until recently, but it was stably growing.

 

Anna:

Cool.

 

Keiran:

So I decided to put the comedy on pause for a little bit, and now, I've dropped by double life I guess.

 

Anna:

(laughter) That's amazing. How does it work being a stand-up comedian? What's the business like? I don't really know anything about it.

 

Keiran:

It's degrading.

 

Anna:

Oh (laughter) So it's not that different from being an opera singer then I'm sure.

 

Keiran:

Right, there's a lot of performing for free in the beginning ...

 

Anna:

Yeah.

 

Keiran:

I was doing it for about 2 years. And I can't say like seriously, like if I was doing it seriously for 2 years I would be trying to go up and perform every night. And I didn't do it that much. I feel until you've reached a certain level, or you've made the right connection, you're going to perform for free.

 

Anna:

Yeah.

 

Keiran:

And that sometimes involves driving 6 hours to perform for 6 minutes and getting no money.

 

Anna:

Yeah. Do you have auditions as well? Because one of the things we have to do is you know, drive across the country, or to catch a train across the country to just do these auditions for like, you know, 2 minutes, sing, leave, and then find out in a few weeks.

 

Keiran:

 

Uh Not really, like we don't do auditions so much as we do open mics.

 

Anna:

Right.

 

Keiran:

Open Mic is basically you and a bunch of amateurs, or they also have pro comics who are working on new material. So obviously they don't want to do new material in front of like an audience that's paid like a good amount of money right? Because that might back-fire.

 

Anna:

Yeah, exactly.

 

Keiran:

That's our audition.

 

Anna:

Okay well there you go. And so how long ago was it that you kind of put that on hold?

 

Keiran:

I put it on hold in the beginning of November. Yeah, it's going to be like that until maybe April, May, May, June, put it on hold.

 

Anna:

Oh okay. All right. That's not that big of a break, that's all right.

 

Keiran:

Yeah, it's not big of a break but I think it's one of those things where you need to put in the time to get better, and I don't know, you're never getting younger so I don't think you should delay your passions for too long you know?

 

Anna:

(laughter) That's a really good point. And that's actually, I actually used to work in the corporate world. I used to work in project management and marketing, and this kind of stuff. And actually, what you just said is exactly why I changed paths completely and ended up studying music, halfway through my twenties.

 

Keiran:

That's great. That's awesome.

 

Anna:

So, yeah.

 

Keiran:

It takes a lot of courage to do that because these are jobs that are paying you money right?

 

Anna:

Yes (laughter)

 

Keiran:

[crosstalk 00:04:07] these are gambles, like these are ... so that's awesome.

 

Anna:

I like to say that every year I've gotten poorer, but happier.

 

Keiran:

(laughter) Ah that's funny.

 

Anna:

(laughter) So there you go, I don't know if I'm getting happier because of my age or because of those decisions but ...

 

Keiran:

Right. Well, I mean you're pursuing your passion. That takes courage, I think that's great.

 

Anna:

Yeah

 

Keiran:

So, how did you start teaching? How did you get into teaching?

 

Anna:

Yeah, actually it, I mean technically I've always been a helper ... I guess you would say ... or a leader maybe is a better word for it. I've always been the kind of person who likes taking charge and you know, I learn very quickly. So even at school, really, I was always that brat who put her hand up right at the beginning of class and already knew all of the answers, and so I kind of always kind of helped other students in that way.

 

 

But I didn't really start teaching until I was at University and then I would start kind of helping people with writing essays, especially foreign language students maybe, who needed that extra help editing things. I'd also tutored in Spanish, because I was learning Spanish at University. And um when I finished my degree, I got my certification, my TESOL certification. And then I kind of always done it kind of casually, but then since moving to Germany, it then kind of became a bit more of a full-time thing in order to kind of tie me over between my old life and my new life I guess you would say.

 

Keiran:

Okay, and so you're teaching in Germany in what way?

 

Anna:

Uh just, with this kind of stuff, with I talking on Skype, just online.

 

Keiran:

Okay, so you're not teaching in schools.

 

Anna:

No, so there's very ... it kind of, oh sorry you don't mean a public school you mean like a private school?

 

Keiran:

Well, any kind of school, like are you, you're purely teaching online at the moment?

 

Anna:

At the moment, yeah. So I have done in person classes, mainly through corporate agencies. So still one on one, but you know, actually going out to the businesses and sitting down with executives and talking things through. Um of course because of my performance background, I also love helping people on things like giving presentations, and how to use their voice ... and I think you also do some work with accents, which makes sense now that I know about your kind of, other life. (laughter) ... But yeah, you know, it's kind of that kind of thing helping people be confident and ...

 

Keiran:

Yeah

 

Anna:

... feel a bit more maybe, relaxed while also improving.

 

Keiran:

Right. Yeah, and you're voice is such an important tool.

 

Anna:

Mm-hmm

 

Keiran:

Yeah, I think you're right. You know I never thought that stand-up ... comedy, whatever I kind of came into teaching ... because usually it's, you're very onto like the politically incorrect end of the spectrum right? But it is, it's a lot of, part of fitting in I think is just learning to accept that you're not perfect and you grow more confident as you keep trying and you keep doing things.

 

Anna:

True, but also probably the stand-up, I'm guessing you do stuff with word play at some, like a few points?

 

Keiran:

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, you're right

 

Anna:

I think, I think you know in my experience all the good language teachers, be they you know in English or Spanish or German, you know, the ones who really have that passion, and who really can have fun with a language? Who, you know, it's not just about rules, rules, rules, but actually about like how can we make this something more exciting?

 

Keiran:

Right, yeah and that's one thing I was curious about whether you taught in schools because I've taught ... I've been teaching since I was 16, I started as a swim instructor for about 8 years.

 

Anna:

Oh! I used to be a personal trainer! There you go.

 

Keiran:

There you go! Yeah. We just have this track record of being in the position of, you know ... these are, you have to get concrete results for the people who are coming to your classes right? Like this is, if you don't they just choose someone else ... and that's why I was curious because I didn't like schools. I didn't like language schools, I thought they were ineffective. And in a language school, the students kind of get the short end of the stick. They get tested, they get put in a class, and that's their teacher, that's their curriculum, they don't have a choice.

 

Anna:

And that's the pace at which they learn.

 

Keiran:

Exactly. And they're stuck at that like, speed. And if you are the most advanced student in that class, that sucks. And if you're the lowest student in the class that sucks right?

 

 

Online it's amazing, like first of all, if you don't like your teacher then, just "Bye, bye, I'll find someone else."

 

Anna:

Yeah "It was nice meeting you, see you later."

 

Keiran:

Yeah and the curriculum is, it's always malleable, you can always change it the way you want right?

 

Anna:

Yeah exactly. I mean I'm, as you can imagine, I'm also learning German at the moment to keep expanding my skills here, and I pick up grammar rules very quickly, I mean I think a lot of English teachers, when you go to, like familiarity with how other people learn languages, sometimes you get to know what works for you as well, very quickly. And for me I found that in group classes that I've tried, yeah it's so frustrating because, sometimes they'll be explaining something they explained yesterday, and I'm like "But I understood it when you explained it yesterday" ...

 

Keiran:

Right, right. And then, yeah and then ...

 

Anna:

And then on the flip-side you can see other people struggling and you're like, I don't know, like there's no solution in a group class, in that situation.

 

Keiran:

No its, and in a group class usually the teacher is teaching, like this is how the teacher will teach the subject, either you get it or you don't. Like they haven't prepared, most teachers don't prepare 5 ways to teach ... because there's different types of learners right? And that doesn't ...

 

Anna:

Of course.

 

Keiran:

Yeah, so that's another good point.

 

 

So Anna, what's your ... I'm curious more about you as a person ... what's your family life like? Like do you come from a big family, a small family?

 

Anna:

Yeah. I come from a bit of a, it's strange, I guess a modern family you would say. (laughter) So quite small, in some respects. I have a lot of cousins, because my mother was one of five children, so there's quite a lot of cousins and aunts and uncles. But in terms of my immediate family, I have two half brothers.

 

Keiran:

OK

 

Anna:

So my mother married quite young, she had my two brothers in her first marriage. Then they got divorced, and much, much later she met my father and had me.

 

Keiran:

That's interesting. So what's your relationship like with your half brothers?

 

Anna:

I kind of think of it more like uncles, because they were 16, sorry they were 15 and 16 when I was born. So they're quite a bit older, so I think they've always been kind of an older presence, maybe not so much like brothers in a traditional sense. We didn't really grow up together for example. But we get along great ... is the short answer ... my whole family is terrific, I'm very lucky in that respect.

 

Keiran:

Right. I'd imagine there would be more tension like if you were born very close to them, because I ... like I just know in my family, I have three sisters ...

 

Anna:

Oh, wow.

 

Keiran:

... three sisters, who are your sisters, like you're immediate sisters, like you're always going to have friction.

 

Anna:

Mm-hmm (affirmative)

 

Keiran:

But I imagine if my father and my mother married someone else and then had more kids, then I imagine the friction with like a step brother ...

 

Anna:

Would be more

 

Keiran:

... who was the same age would be way worse.

 

Anna:

Yeah

 

Keiran:

You know like, that's, you're your mother's kids, but that kid is your step father's kid ...

 

Anna:

Yeah

 

Keiran:

... I imagine that would just ... maybe I'm wrong but ...

 

Anna:

Yeah, I mean I was quite lucky in that like, my first few years like as a toddler, my brothers were kind of in their late teens. And so to them, I was just a bunch of fun. Like they just loved like playing games with me and like playing, like throwing balls, and kind of I guess babysitting for my mom a bit, and so it was really, I think it worked out really well. And then, if course like my brother, my younger older brother (laughter) was the first to give me a beer, for example, when I was 13. (laughter) He gave me my first beer, he was in his late twenties and, you know, so it's kind of been quite a fun relationship really. And they're all musicians as well, actually.

 

Keiran:

That's cool so that's where you get your, I guess you're artistic side

 

Anna:

Yeah, that's interesting. Yeah, and what about, so you said you had three sisters, are they all older or?

 

Keiran:

No. I have one older sister, and then I have two younger sisters. And yeah, I mean like I said, he had a lot of friction growing up. We ...

 

Anna:

Oh, Okay. Are you all very close in age or?

 

Keiran:

My oldest sister is I think 2 or 3 years older than me. Yeah I never know my sister's ages. (laughter)

 

Anna:

(laughter)

 

Keiran:

My younger sisters are ...

 

Anna:

There's so much friction, you never remembered they're birthdays

 

Keiran:

Yeah maybe because I haven't remembering their birthdays and buying them presents or something. My younger sisters are, I don't know, 2 and 5 years younger than me I think? Yeah, we're spread out, but I mean it's a lot of bodies in the house and we grew up in a one TV household, so I think that itself creates a lot of problems back in the day.

 

Anna:

Oh that wasn't so uncommon though, back when you were growing up I imagine.

 

Keiran:

No, but, I mean today it doesn't matter because first of all, we don't really use TV anymore, and then second of all everyone has their own thing. But ...

 

Anna:

Mm-hmm (affirmative) Yeah true.

 

Keiran:

I mean I didn't want to watch whatever show they were watching you know. It's kind of like a 3 against 1 thing, like "Oh, let's watch the show that appealing to them or me." You know, I would always lose out because it just, the majority wins on those right?

 

Anna:

Yeah. Well I suppose like you know, on the plus side, I mean it's a kind of a hashtag first world problem (laughter)

 

Keiran:

Yeah, yeah what a terrible life I had right?

 

Anna:

Especially when I think about the stories my mom told me about her growing up because she was, as I said, 1 of 5, but she had 4 brothers. So she was the only girl with 4 brothers. And of course, back when she was growing up, that meant she had to do all of the work.

 

Keiran:

Yeah

 

Anna:

You know, she had to help with all of the washing and the cleaning and the cooking, and that was her responsibility and the boys could just go play.

 

Keiran:

Yeah, I think I kind of got that, I mean it's, I kind of got that side of the deal in the sense that ... like my father I think is a very modern man. He washes the dishes, he cooks too, he at least ...

 

Anna:

Yeah so does mine.

 

Keiran:

But, when there's a family event, my family's a little odd in that, basically my father and I are the only males in our family so my mother has 3 sisters, and one of her sisters has 4 daughters ...

 

Anna:

Oh my gosh, Okay.

 

Keiran:

... her husband is divorced and dead. So we have a family thing it's like me and my father and then a whole bunch of women.

 

Anna:

Yeah, not a lot of Y chromosomes floating around I guess.

 

Keiran:

No but then that makes me a very special like, everyone's always like "Oh Keiran! The boy of the family!" And my sisters are like, "It's not fair, he gets treated special" you know?

 

Anna:

Well I mean, the good thing is that my mom, being the only girl, she was the only one who got her own room.

 

Keiran:

Right.

 

Anna:

So that was the benefit.

 

Keiran:

Yeah

 

Anna:

That was the only benefit, according to her, was that she got her own room.

 

Keiran:

Yeah, she gets a little privacy right.

 

Anna:

Yeah, exactly.

 

Keiran:

All right well Anna, it was great talking to you, but we gotta wrap this one up.

 

Anna:

Sure.

 

Keiran:

Thanks so much for coming on the podcast, this was a great conversation I would like to have you on again.

 

Anna:

Yeah, awesome I would love that.

 

Keiran:

All right

 

Anna:

Lovely to meet you.

 

Keiran:

Yeah it was great meeting you too, Bye bye!

 

Anna:

Bye!

 

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