Uncensored English

Looking for a different angle on English language podcasts? Keiran the crazy Canadian goes where the other English podcasts don't... and more. Keiran and his native English guests discuss politically incorrect subjects as well as general English language, idioms, expressions, culture and more all while having natural unscripted conversations. This podcasts feature an educational exploration of language ranging from every day expressions, pop culture expressions, explicit language and anything in between. The podcast is geared towards adults students, professionals, university students as well as ESL teachers who want to step out of the "Safe Space" of the English language education community and have a little more fun. Join Keiran and his guests in their down to earth humorous conversations and learn to speak a more universal edgy form of English like a native! English ISN'T always PC!!!
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Now displaying: Category: english language education
Sep 22, 2016

Get is a pretty useful word. How useful, you might be surprised. Today Max and I talk about how you get more out of get.


*** Transcript*** 




Keiran: So today we got Malefic Max back on the podcast. How's it going Max?

Max: Hello. Very good. How are you?

Keiran: I'm all right, what's new with you today? 

Max: Today I'm looking at buying an oversized guitar, I'm really excited about that.

Keiran: An oversized guitar. Why are you interested in an oversized guitar?

Max: Well, the band, Tenacious D, Jack Black specifically states that he has an oversized guitar. And I would love to follow him because he's one of my favorite musicians.

Keiran: Okay. I've never seen an oversized guitar.

Max: It's a large body and when you put your arm on it, if you rest your arm on the body--

Keiran: Yeah.

Max: It will probably cut off the circulation in your hands so you got to lift your elbow a bit.

Keiran: Huh.

Max: Yeah.

Keiran: All right, that's interesting. All right. So today, Max is going to help us learn how to get more out of the word get. 

Max: Get it.

Keiran: Yeah, yeah, it's a little joke there I guess. All right. We're going to learn how to get more out of the word get. So of course, where get is a verb, meaning to get something like I'm going to go to the store and get something. But there's  a lot of other ways we can use it. And we're going to start off with the one that I have written down right here at the top, which is get over it.

Max, what does it mean to get, when someone says get over it?

Max: Get over it. When you say it to someone, you're telling them to let go of an issue that they're struggling with. Like if they're worried about something like a test and they're just keep talking about it and they can't seem to calm down, and you say, "Get over it. It's just a test." You're going to do your test tomorrow.

Keiran: Right. So they've got to stop focusing their negative or neurotic energy on something and to just move on with their life, right?

Max: Yeah, yeah. Stop being nervously focused on it. 

Keiran: All right. So I remember when I was younger, I always wanted to go-- Actually, my parents went to church. I had to go to church as my parents and I hated going to church because on Sunday mornings, Spiderman was on at the exact same time as church.

Max: Yeah, I hear that.

Keiran: And every Sunday morning I would have fought with my parents. My dad will go like, "Ken. You going to church and you're missing Spiderman. Get over it." I always lost that argument until I was 14.

Max: Yeah, that make sense.

Keiran: But he wanted me to just let go of it so we didn't have that fight every week, right?

Max: Oh my God.

Keiran: All right. Can you give us an example of get over it?

Max: Oh yeah, sure. I got a friend, she's waiting to do a job interview, actually, to go work up North and she's also planning a vacation at the same time, but she doesn't have the job yet. She can't stop freaking about it so I told her, "Get over it, just go on your vacation. If you get the job you can come back early, it's fine. Let it go."

Keiran: Right.

Max: Get over it.

Keiran: Get over it, there's nothing you can do about it. All right. Let's move to the next one, which is not very flexible in how we can use it. But it's still useful if you need to use it. Maybe if you're with an English person which is "Get off me."

Max: Get off me, yeah. For sure. Get off me, is--

Keiran: I wonder how do we use it. When would we use get off me?

Max: You would say that in-- I can think of two situations.

Keiran: Okay.

Max: So if someone's grabbing your arm somewhere and you don't want them touching you--

Keiran: Right.

Max: Or pulling you somewhere.

Keiran: Right.

Max: Say, "Get off me, I don't need you in my bubble, pulling me away like that."

Keiran: Right. Like sometimes you see like the possessive like boyfriend in the bar, like grabbing his girlfriend.

Max: Yeah.

Keiran: She's like, "Get off me."

Max: Yeah, and he's like pulling her around and stuff like that.

Keiran:  Yeah.

Max: Or like a parent grabbing their kid.

Keiran: Right. Exactly.

Max: And the kid's like, "Get off me."

Keiran: Get off me.

Max: Getting pulled around.

Keiran: Okay, that's probably not going to be useful for most of our listeners out there unless they're in a bar with a-- possessive boyfriend or girlfriend...

Max: Yeah.

Keiran: What's the other way you thought about "Get off me?" How can we use it?

Max: Maybe in during sex?

Keiran: During sex, right.

Max: If someone's on top of you and they're crushing your pelvis and you say, "Get off me."

Keiran: Get off me, this isn't feeling good.

Max: Cuting off circulation of my legs, get off me sugar.

Keiran: Yeah, right. Or if you're lying down like cuddling or something and someone rolls on to you in an uncomfortable position like, "Get off me, this hurts."

Max: Yeah. Or if you're spooning, watching a movie and you're not comfy--

Keiran: Get off[?] me[?].

Max: Or got to go pee.

Keiran: Get off me. It's not the nicest way to do it. Maybe it's like you ask someone and they're like, "Hehehe, no" Then I'm like, "No seriously. Get off me."

Max: Yeah, yeah.

Keiran: Get off me. All right. Next one. Get lost.

Max: Get lost, yeah. This is when you say to somebody when you want them to leave you alone.

Keiran: Right. So it's not you telling someone to go lose themselves.

Max: No. It's you telling someone to leave you alone, just let you be by yourself.

Keiran: Right. So, let's do some examples here. Let's say we're running a comedy show on Wednesday.

Max: Yeah.

Keiran: And we have the comics that we've booked on the show.

Max: Yeah.

Keiran: And maybe a comic who wants to jump on even though he's not on the show, which we sometimes do.

Max: Yeah.

Keiran: And we said, "No." And he goes over and he asks you, and you say, "No." And he comes over and he asked me, I'm like, "Dude, I already told you, no." And he goes and asks you and you're like---

Max: Get lost.

Keiran: Get lost, man.

Max: Get out of here.

Keiran: We told you four times. Get lost.

Max: Get lost. Leave us alone.

Keiran: All right, can you give me a little example there?

Max: We can use the bar again. 

Keiran: All right.

Max: Let's say...  

Keiran: The bar?

Max: A bar.

Keiran:  A bar?

Max: A bar. So you're a woman at a bar--

Keiran: Right. 

Max: And a guy comes talk to you and tell him you don't want to see him. He comes back bothering you again and say, "Get lost. I'm not interested in you. I won't talk to you."

Keiran: Yeah, if a guy like keeps hitting on you over and over and over again.

Max: Like too persevering. Like too annoying.

Keiran: Right. I mean, in that case, you always want to uses it in a polite way in the beginning but get lost is, again, it's a strong way, it's very clear that you don't want the attention.

Max: Yeah. Leave me alone. 

Keiran: Get lost.

Max: Get lost.

Keiran: All right. Next one. Get by. How to get by?

Max: Get by.

Keiran: What is to get by, it means?

Max: It can mean a couple of things. 

Keiran: Okay.

Max: Getting by, could be having enough money to pay for your bills.

Keiran: Right.

Max: And when you get by, it means going around somebody. Or if you ask someone, "Can I get by?" I want to walk around them, maybe on the sidewalk.

Keiran: Okay. Let's do the first one first.

Max: Sure.

Keiran: So you said, get by means to have enough money to pay your bills. 

Max: Yeah.

Keiran: So I guess we can say when you're younger, it's a lot harder to get by when you live on your own. Because you don't have as much money or income as much.

Max: Yeah.

Keiran: Unless you're born into a wealthy family and you don't have trouble getting by.

Max: Yeah. Then your challenge becomes social skills.

Keiran: No, usually rich kids have better social skills.

Max: Oh yeah?

Keiran: That sucks.

Max: I guess I just wanted to believe that.

Keiran: Well, I think it depends, man. Like I don't-- I can't say I know many people who have really terrible social skills. 

Max: I know one very rich girl and she has terrible social skills.

Keiran: Is she an only child?

Max: I think so.

Keiran: There you go. Yeah, maybe she's been spoiled all her life and she's not used to not getting her own way or something. 

Max: Yeah. She's super whiny, too.

Keiran: Okay.

Max: Well, I think that's just one person.

Keiran: Okay, can you make another example of get by, not having enough money or having a tight budget?

Max: So you're a-- like if I'm a family dad and I'm going to church. And the pastor asks me how things are at home.

Keiran: Yeah.

Max: So he asks me if everything's okay. I said, "Yeah. I got enough to get by, it's a tight budget. I have a lot of kids to get new clothes."

Keiran: Right. So it's tough to get by if you don't have a lot of money.

Max: Yeah.

Keiran: This is a depressing example.

Max: It is. It is.

Keiran: Let's move on to our last phrase over we're going to go over here today, which is get around.

Max: Get around.

Keiran: What does it mean to get around?

Max: Get around means be kind of a social butterfly. You kind of go around meeting a lot of people. 

Keiran: So, Sally really gets around the neighborhood.

Max: Yeah, a lot, I mean, that's implying Sallly's sleeping around.

Keiran: Oh. Okay. So get around can be-- can mean to be promiscuous.

Max: Yeah, yeah. Even if a guy I see, he gets around. And he can be saying that he's really promiscuous.

Keiran: Yes. We could say I'm worried about Gabriel]. He really gets around.

Max: Yeah.

Keiran: He might be burning the candle at both ends.

Max: Right, yeah. Well that's-- if that's the way he swings, that's fine. 

Keiran: Yeah.

Max: He's burning his candle.

Keiran: Because when he says he gets around means he has a lot of sex and maybe he's going to get in trouble with some kind of STD...

Max: STD. Sexually Transmitted Disease.

Keiran: All right. What is the other way, you said get around, what does it mean?

Max: Get around? Just go around. You go around, you get around, you meet a lot of people, you go a lot of places. Really active socially.

Keiran: Okay.

Max: Or you travel a lot. If I said Karim[?] gets around a lot, he was in Korea and he's visited Mongolia.

Keiran: Right. Okay. So get around is someone who travels a lot there. They're always going to new places, they really get around.

Max: Yeah. It could also be in the city. If you're all over the city, you're visiting the west side, the east side, downtown.

Keiran: Yeah, you get around, I got around a lot today.

Max: You did?

Keiran: All right, great. We're going to wrap it up really quickly. But I want to ask Max about one more, it's kind of an expression I guess. "To get over someone, you got to get under someone new." What does that one mean?

Max: That one means, when after your breakup, to get over the breakup, to move on, you have to go have sex with someone else. Get under with someone else.

Keiran: Yeah, get under someone's body.

Max: Yeah. I think that's bullshit, but--

Keiran: I don't think it's bullshit but I don't think it's very, a maybe, healthy way to get over a relationship.

Max: Yeah, I don't think it's healthy. I mean, it might work.

Keiran: It will work.

Max: But you're going to be all weird for awhile.

Keiran: Yeah, you will be weird for awhile, right. All right, so really quickly. Get over it means to stop focusing on something. Get off me means to physically don't touch me or get off of me during sex.

Max: Get off me literally. Yeah.

Keiran: Yeah. Get lost means?

Max: Go away and leave me alone.

Keiran: Right. Get by?

Max: Getting by? Get by's is having enough to pay your rent, pay your food.

Keiran: Yeah, having the money to live your life. And lastly, get around?

Max: It means sleeping around. Having sex with a lot of people or--

Keiran: Get...

Max: Traveling around the world a lot.

Keiran: Yeah, getting around town, getting around the world. 


Sep 20, 2016

Students often ask me what's a good place to go to learn English, and I always answer them, Australia. Today with David Peachey we discuss some of the concerns people have about learning English in Australia.


*** Transcript***

Keiran: All right. Today, we have David Peachey [?] back on the podcast.


David Peachey: Hey, hey, hey, good to be back.


Keiran: Yeah. It's good to have you here, David. I have a question.


David Peachey: Yeah.


Keiran: Sometimes, I talk to my students. They say, “You know, I want to travel to an English speaking country.” And I always tell them, “First of all, don’t go to any ESL school. If you can work in a restaurant I think -- or work with people, it’s a better way to learn.”


David Peachey: Yeah, [crosstalk] on the ground.


Keiran: Yeah, and I always suggest, “Go to Australia because Australia is such a beautiful place.”


David Peachey: That’s a very good choice. And as an Australian I must agree. Yeah, it is beautiful here. Nice -- Yeah, the flora and the fauna is beautiful, weather is nice, yeah, so, yeah, there's a lot going for Australia.


Keiran: Right. But the common objection I get from anyone who I talk about this is like, “Yeah, but, you know, Australia has, you know, all those spiders and crocodiles and other dangerous animals.


David Peachey: And things that can kill you, yeah.


Keiran: Yeah, and all those things that can kill you.


David Peachey: It will hurt you badly.


Keiran: What do you think about this? Is this something that people who are considering traveling to Australia should really waste time over, worrying about this?


David Peachey: Short answer is no. Of course, we’ve got our population of Australia and we’re not dying quickly, dying in a hurry, so, obviously, it’s not that dangerous.


Keiran: Right.


David Peachey: How do we survive if -- Well, first thing, a lot of us live in the cities. I think most of the population actually lives in about -- I'd say at least half of the population lives in three or four cities.


Keiran: Yeah, and I guess most of those dangerous animals are not setting in apartment buildings in the cities, right?


David Peachey: Yeah, definitely, like -- A lot of the poisonous snakes are all desert snakes. Well, most of them are desert snakes.


Keiran: Okay.


David Peachey: Crocodiles, so, they are up north but not necessarily near the cities. So, you know, if you’re in one of the major cities like Sydney, Melbourne, Brisbane, Perth, Adelaide, yeah, I think it’d be fairly safe.


Keiran: Right.


David Peachey: The other thing is I think as part of our Australian nature, we are cautious because we are aware that there are certain things that can kill us or chase us down and attack us.


Keiran: Okay. These are the things that I was not aware of when I was in Australia. So, much I’ve -- we’ve actually done my research a little better. So, fill us in, David. What are the these things?


David Peachey: Obviously the spiders. I mean, that’s the first scary fact that yeah, we have some huge spiders here. First thing to remember is that even if they’re big, they’re generally not going to kill you. In fact, yeah, the lightest spiders are generally quite afraid of us. So, if you see a large spider like the size of your hand, you can actually shoo it away and it will run away in fright.


Keiran: Okay.


David Peachey: Yeah, if you’re not already running away in fright. So, feel a bit of bravery. You don’t need to kill it or anything, but you just kind brush at it. Don't do this with the small black evil looking spiders. A couple of the smallest spiders are found in cities, and they are venomous enough to kill you.


Keiran: Really?


David Peachey: So which is why we’re extra cautious.


Keiran: Right. So, there are some dangerous little creatures lurking around the cities then.


David Peachey: Yeah, the two main ones to look at for -- especially when the weather is hotting up. So, there’ll obviously be much more spiders in warmer weather. The dangerous ones are called the funnel-web spider and the red back spider.


Keiran: Okay.


David Peachey: The good news is, these generally tend to avoid humans. So, the funnel-web spider, by its name it builds its web in the shape of a funnel but it’s in a hole or in a crack, so even though that’s a spider that could actually chase you if it’s angry, it won’t get angry if you don’t put your anger into its house.


Keiran: Right, right, which, why would he be doing anyways, right?


David Peachey: I don’t know. You think, oh, a dangerous spider, let’s see what it does.


Keiran: Yeah.


David Peachey: I mean, maybe some people aren’t aware how dangerous or aggressive these can be. We just leave them alone.


Keiran: Right.


David Peachey: Yeah. So, yeah, avoiding it is the first, or not provoking it is the first -- or not provoking. It is the first safety move. Same with the red back, it’s a small spider. It looks a little bit like the black widow and so forth that it has a red marking on the back. Also lives in cracks and crevasses. And you'll probably be bitten if you try to play with it. I don't know why, but if you try to play with it or if you accidentally put your hand into its web.


Keiran: Right.


David Peachey: Which could happen if you are saying -- if you say, pick up -- if you pick up a chair or a table that’s been sitting in the garage and it’s dusty and you don't really look underneath. We check under these things. This is how we survive.


Keiran: All right. So, basically, if people are traveling in the cities and Australia, if they just leave the spiders alone. This should be safe --


David Peachey: Don't go looking for them.


Keiran: Yeah.


David Peachey: Yeah, and just be a little more thoughtful of, yeah, where you poke your hands and fingers and so on.


Keiran: Right.


David Peachey: We’re quite aware of that.


Keiran: Okay. David, I notice when you were telling me about the first spider, you said when it’s hotting up.


David Peachey: It’s hotting up. Yes, becoming hotter. Is that not a [?] common in Canada which --


Keiran: No, I was like, “Oh, my God, what’s this -- I’ve never heard this, I have to ask David about this.” Because from my perspective, it sounds like a grammatical error that I would correct my students on but I noticed you said it, it’s the second time I’ve heard you said it, so it must be -- the phrase will be --


David Peachey: It must be an Australianism. I’ve never thought of it. It’s just natural for me. Yeah, the weather is hotting up, and it starts to hot up, yeah.


Keiran: Yeah. We would say the weather is heating up over here.


David Peachey: Heating up. Yeah.


Keiran: Right.


David Peachey: Or warming up will be standard phrase for that, yeah.


Keiran: Right. Okay, so, we got to watch out for the funnel-web spider and the red back spider and leave them alone. Is there anything else that the average person should be informed about when they come to Australia? Any other somewhat dangerous or animals they want to stay away from?


David Peachey: Like I said, if you're in the cities, you’re generally avoiding them. Of course, if you’re out walking in the bush which could be -- which is pretty much anything in Australia that is not in a city, is the bush.


Keiran: Yeah, okay.


David Peachey: Of course, yeah, just watch where you’re walking. They could be a snake lying in the path, sunbathing, minding its own business. Two types of animals here will come across in the cities and they’re very common. And of course, you can’t really do anything to this. You can’t kill them because they are native animals. There are possums. And now, because they’re small [?], about the size of a cat --


Keiran: Okay.


David Peachey: They crawl through the trees at night and they crawl along power lines and everything.


Keiran: Right.


David Peachey: And you see them at night. People sometimes make the mistake of thinking that because they are furry and cat size, maybe they’re friendly.


Keiran: Okay, so, they’re not friendly. Don’t go pet the possums.


David Peachey: Yeah, don't go petting them because I accidentally did this once. I thought a possum at night was looking friendly and held a hand out and said, “Come on, come on.” In this possums. So, I had food in my hand but it couldn’t see the food, so it tentatively bit my finger and I realized, yes, it is a wild animal.


Keiran: Right, right, yeah, yeah.


David Peachey: And the other one is the bush turkey, and that’s exactly what it looks like and you’ll see them all over the place, like black body, kind of a red and yellow coloring on the neck. Yeah, but I mean, you’ll just see plenty of them around and they can look after themselves and they’ll tend to avoid you.


Keiran: All right. You know, I was just thinking, when I was in Australia, they had the flood, the big flood and I know that was --


David Peachey: Oh, yes.


Keiran: In 2012, I think 2012.


David Peachey: Yes.


Keiran: And this amazing thing happened and you guys can Google this if you’re listening to the podcast and go check out the images, but all the spiders in Wagga, they like, all climbed up and created these webs --


David Peachey: Seeking higher ground.


Keiran: Right.


David Peachey: Yeah, they take over a whole tree or something.


Keiran: Right, exactly. It’s such an amazing thing to see like, that nature had this escape plan for floods you know.


David Peachey: Which is up and take over anything that’s not in the water.


Keiran: Right, right. All right, so, David, thank you for informing us about these dangerous spiders that are not so dangerous if we just leave them alone, which is guess people have trouble doing, right?


David Peachey: Exactly. Yeah. I just want to keep our visitors alive, so, that’d be my work done.


Keiran: Right. So, don’t pet the funnel back spider. Don’t pet the red back spiders and of course don’t pet the possums.



Sep 17, 2016

Oh my my, today on Uncensored English, we discuss the number one way to challenge your English and the only reason you shouldn't have you English homework completed. We also talk about the idiom Down in the Dumps, and Keiran rambles about IELTS and TOEFL

Sep 15, 2016

Keiran's going to a big Italian wedding, we talk a little about Italians and commonly heard wedding expressions.


*** Transcript ***


Keiran: So today, I’m really happy to have Melissa back on the podcast. How’s it going Melissa?


Melissa: Good, Keiran. How are you doing?


Keiran: Pretty good, pretty good. I’m a little tired, you know, it’s 10:13 PM, but I’m doing all right. So what’s new with you these days?


Melissa: Not too much. It was a long work day today, so I’m happy to be doing something different.


Keiran: Yeah, right, exactly. It’s good to have a little change of pace.


Melissa: Yeah, exactly.


Keiran: So Melissa, I’m going this weekend to my—it’s not my sister, my cousin’s getting married, and I was wondering, have you gone to any weddings in the recent past? Have you gone to any weddings recently?


Melissa: Yeah. You know, it’s like I’m at the age now where people are starting to get married. It’s almost like the second wave, where people start to get married when they’re in their, I guess, early twenties, and now, the second wave when you’re in sort of early thirties, and so I've had two weddings so far this summer.


Keiran: Oh, wow. Yeah. So these are the planned weddings, the first wave was maybe the




Melissa: The shotgun wedding?


Keiran: Yeah, yeah, the shotgun weddings. What’s a shotgun wedding?


Melissa: A shotgun wedding happens when you have been intimate with somebody, and then you find out you’re pregnant, and the next things that’s left to do is to get married.


Keiran: Yeah. It’s a race for decency, I think.


Melissa: Exactly. Before the baby comes. Hurry up, get it done.


Keiran: Yeah. No one wants to be pregnant on the altar, I guess.


Melissa: Yeah. No, not many people.


Keiran: Okay. So I’m going—this wedding I’m going to, it’s kind of interesting. I mean, my cousin, she’s—we have, I think, a pretty small family. Like, at the wedding, there’s going to be 16 tables, with eight people at each table, and four of the tables are going to be our family, and then, the other 12 tables are going to be Italian people.


Melissa: Yeah, you’re definitely outnumbered.


Keiran: Yeah. And I think the good thing about this is –I’m imagining- the food’s going to be amazing at the wedding.


Melissa: That would be a good guess, yeah.


Keiran: Great. But the thing I’m worried about is, do you remember in high school when we would have like high school dances, or even in our graduation, where all the Italians would gather in a circle and start chanting like, “Italia! Italia!”


Melissa:  [Laughs] Well, why did that happen all the time?   


Keiran: I don’t know. I don’t know. Italian pride, I guess. I’m just hoping that this doesn’t happen at the wedding.


Melissa: Yeah, you never know.


Keiran: So what’s your funniest or most unusual wedding memory that you can think of?


Melissa: Oh, well, this one is –I think- particularly funny, and it happened maybe—yeah,  the last wedding that I went to, and it was in Lloydminster, which is a town that is at the border of Alberta and Saskatchewan, in the middle of the prairies. People in Alberta tend to be more, I would say, traditional when it comes to marriage, and to the culture of marriage, and most people, most couple end up getting married at some point in their life before having children. But the opposite is sort of present in Quebec where you have a lot of couples that are together, that are committed for life, but don’t end up necessarily getting married, and they sometimes have children as well, as part of their committed relationship, but marriage just never ends up happening, or ends up happening after children. And it was a funny conversation to have with Chris’s parents, because it’s inevitable that the conversation of wedding comes and gets applied to your situation, and very casually I say, “You know, people don’t get married in Quebec.” And then have their facial expressions look at me with almost a jaw drop, but not quite, you know, it’s funny. And of course, they appreciate our relationship and I don’t think that it would be a big issue, but it’s definitely something that we’ll need to consider.


Keiran: Right, right. So what’s your opinion on marriages? Are you for marriage, or are you against it? Are you interested in getting married?


Melissa: I think it’s up to people to do what they feel is right, and I think at this point in society, it’s really up to people to make their own rules, and for couples to make their own rules, and it can be really difficult when you have pressures of different families, and different cultures, tradition, religion, but if it was up to me, it’s not that important to me to get married. I’m committed to my relationship, then I know that it’s a forever relationship, and I don’t necessarily need for me to have that consolidated through marriage. But yeah, I like the idea of a big party where everybody gets drunk, that’s super fun. [Laughter]


Keiran: Yeah. That’s definitely fun. Yeah, no, it’s funny though, I married—I mean, I had, I guess it would be what we call half, half of a marriage of convenience, because my wife and I—both our Visas were expiring, so we had to get married to be able to see each other again, and we were in a foreign country. I mean, she has what I would call a shitty passport. Like, Canadian passport, you can go to like a 170 countries with no Visa, but the Mongolian passport, you can go to about 50 countries, and most of those countries, you probably don’t want to go to anyway, and then—but I think I’m adamantly against marriage. I don’t see the benefit anymore to marriage, and in my mind, marriage is kind of like—when you’re in a relationship, both partners can leave at any moment, I think it encourages people to act maybe in a better way, but I think when you get married, there’s kind of a lock on the door, in some way, and a divorce is a very ugly thing. I mean my opinion is I think that the traditional marriage is probably going to deteriorate the relationship.


Melissa: I think so, and what I really appreciate about—


Keiran: Really? I was hoping you’re going to disagree with me.


Melissa: No. No, but what I appreciate from Chris, my boyfriend, is that one of the things he says is that a marriage shouldn’t change your relationship. The nature of your relationship, whether you get married or not, if you’re committed to each other, should effectively stay the same. You shouldn’t behave any differently, but I think that a lot of people do, and I have some friends of mine who have said, “Yes, now that we’re married, then my behavior changes, because now I know I’m committed.” It’s like, “Yeah, but what were you before?”


Keiran: Yeah, yeah. It’s weird.


Melissa: Yeah, exactly. So I don’t really relate to that reason, me personally. But--


Keiran: And I think the foundation of marriage, like how it started, is also very ugly. You know, like in the past, women weren’t—they didn’t have the same privileges as men did. They couldn’t work, they couldn’t make money, and it was essentially a trade. You know, like, “I will give you my daughter for some money, or some cows, and a pig…” and that’s horrible, and I also think that that’s--probably the root of prostitution is marriage. Like if people—prostitutes exist, as long as there’s marriage, I think you’re going to have prostitution.


Melissa: That’s an interesting perspective. I never thought about it, but I do agree that it is part, or in some tradition anyway, the root of marriage was a business transaction, and actually, from different very wealthy families that it made financial sense for them to come together and merge their assets through the bond of marriage. But yeah, now it’s not necessarily applicable anymore, yeah.


Keiran: Right. All right. Well, actually, that’s all the time we have, we’ve got to wrap this up, but let’s go over those three little expressions we said while we were talking about this. You said a shotgun marriage was…?


Melissa: Shotgun marriage. That’s when you have to hurry up and get married because you have a bun in the oven.


Keiran: Yeah, and a bun in the over means what?              


Melissa: When you have a baby, when you’ve made a baby that’s growing inside.


Keiran: Right. So if your boyfriend got you pregnant, he could say, “I put a bun in Melissa’s oven.”


Melissa: Yeah. Exactly.


Keiran: Right. Okay, that’s a good and a fun one too. And then, we had a marriage of convenience is when you get married strictly for a passport or some other kind of government-related reasons, right?


Melissa: Yeah. That’s it.


Keiran: And oh my god, we didn’t do the other one we were talking about. The last one was the old ball and chain.


Melissa: Oh yeah, that’s right. That’s not a nice one, and nobody wants to be called a ball, or an old ball and chain.


Keiran: Yeah. And what is the imagery that you come up with when you think about the old ball and chain?


Melissa: Yeah, definitely a prisoner.


Keiran: Right. That big heavy metal ball that they would chain to your ankle, right?


Melissa: Yeah, that’s it.


Keiran: So there is a TV show I showed to my students, and this guy’s talking to his friend about going golfing, and then his friend says they’re going to come golfing on the weekend, and he says, “Well, I’ve got to ask the old ball and chain.” You know, so he says, “I’ve got to ask my wife for permission before we go.”


Melissa: [Laughs] That’s a relationship I wouldn’t want to be in.


Keiran: Yeah. I agree. I definitely agree.


Sep 12, 2016

What will things be like in the future? Nobody knows, but today Keiran and Max talk about potential realities of the future.




Keiran : So, today we have another one of our good friends back on the podcast. How's it going Max?

Max: Really good. How are you Keiran?

Keiran: I am, uh, I'm alright. I'm pretty good, I guess, you know, it's Sunday morning.

Max: Yep, yep. Bright and early.

Keiran: So if I'm Keiran the Crazy Canadian, what would you be?

Max: I'd be Max the Malefic American.

Keiran: Malefic, what does that mean?

Max: Malefic, it's like evil, it's an adjective.

Keiran: Uh, nice.

Max: Yeah

Keiran: So, I'll just move my chair a little bit away from you then.

Max: No, no. It's a good malice, it's like from Malice, is where it comes from.

Keiran: Alright.

Max: Yeah.

Keiran: Alright, so what's new with you Max? I haven't seen you in a while.

Max: But I'm nice. Uh, I've been drinking a lot, you know, uh, making sure my stomach's in good shape, you know.

Keiran: Nice. Going for the beer belly?

Max: Yeah, I'm trying to get there. It's a struggle but I'll get out of shape.

Keiran: I've actually been drinking less since, uh, I haven't drank for like, actually this sounds really depressing, I haven't drank for 3 days. That's not an accomplishment.

Max: Like, I started budgeting for something 2 days ago. God.

Keiran: Alright.

Max: It's forever.

Keiran: [?] Anyways, by request of one of my students, today we're gonna talk about the future, but we didn't want to have a boring conversation about the future, so we're gonna talk about the potential realities of the future in the year 2050.

Max: 34 years from today.

Keiran: 34 years from today. So, I'm gonna kick it off. In the year 2050, washrooms will no longer be segregated by sex to appease the transgendered people's discomfort of using the wrong washroom, everyone will use the same washroom together. We will no longer have segregated washrooms. What do you think about that?

Max: I think, yeah I fucking, yeah, and it will just be like stalls, there'll just be stalls in the bathroom?

Keiran: I don't think there's a point of segregating it, I don't like, why do we...

Max: No, I agree, I'm saying in the one unisex bathroom, it'll just be a bunch of stalls, right?

Keiran: Right.

Max: I don't think it matters. Bathrooms aren't like sexual, they're just kind of utility.

Keiran: No, it's just, yeah it's a utility thing, right. I guess maybe we would have to have like a powder room for like the ladies. Or a powder room for people who put makeup on.

Max: Yeah, yeah.

Keiran: Like, maybe segregate the washroom from the powder room.

Max: Yeah, in the powder room, you just go there to wash up your face and stuff.

Keiran: Alright, what's your next one?

Max: We will have, oh sorry, in the year 2050, we will have brand new swear words.

Keiran: Like what, like what do you mean?

Max: Like, like, instead of saying fuck you, people will be like, You're such an apple Keiran, yeah apple, God, that'll be like a bad word at that time. It'll be all new ones, be like apple and like bosom will mean like genitals. It'll be all weird.

Keiran: Okay, so we will have like, overused the swear words and they become normal and we come up with new swear words.

Max: Yeah, yeah.

Keiran: Yeah, that makes sense.

Max: Like bitch would actually just become like, jerk. It would just mean jerk.

Keiran: Like, bitch was a swear word like 20 years ago but now it's just...

Max: It's kind of becoming normal.

Keiran: Right. Alright. In the year 2050, meat will be grown in laboratories and we will no longer kill animals. I know that's kind of happening already,  right?

Max: It is. And then we'll have a bunch of new pets because we would just take care of animals for fun.

Keiran: Oh you mean like, we'll have like, pigs as pets?

Max: Yeah, we would just have pigs and people would forget that you make bacon out of pigs, you know. They'd just be like, That's my pig Porky, don't I would never eat. It's like a dog, I would never eat my dog.

Keiran: Then, we'll feed the pig laboratory grown bacon but they won't know.

Max: Oh, ew.

Keiran: And maybe we won't even know by that time, well some people won't know.

Max: We already don't know what we're buying in a supermarket.

Keiran: Yeah, that's pretty much true. Alright, next one.

Max: In the year 2050, drugs will be so potent, they will kill you in one hit.

Keiran: Alright, that needs explanation. Why? What do you, like what drug?

Max: Well, let's say like future cocaine, if you do it once, you'll die because it just sends your heart into such a like, such a high pace speed that you die of shock.

Keiran: Right.

Max: Like drugs would get too refined, they'll be too strong.

Keiran: I kind of agree but I kind of disagree, like I think in the future, drugs will be refined but in a way that they will be less dangerous so that people will just get bored of them quicker and move on with their lives.

Max: Yeah, yeah.That would make sense, like.

Keiran: Because why would we make them more dangerous? Unless they're used to kill people.

Max: Well, apparently, weed now is way stronger than it used to be.

Keiran: Oh, it's crazy.

Max: Like it blows your mind, whereas, before you could kind of function like pretty normally.

Keiran: Yeah, right.

Max: So if we keep that trend going.

Keiran: Maybe. Okay, is it me or you now?

Max: It's you.

Keiran: Okay. In the year 2050 children will go to school naked in efforts to reduce sexual obsession in their teenage years.

Max: They're gonna be cold.

Keiran: Okay, maybe they'll be naked like, at play time inside the gymnasium or something.

Max: Yeah, like how, yeah, I mean, that makes, I mean, that's a good way to make people less sex crazed.

Keiran: Right, because than you get over like the opposite sex's naked body, like, because people are just maniacs because we, I think, like porn is insane how it's everywhere.

Max: Yeah.

Keiran: Like if you google, like Frozen the Disney movie, you just get like, Frozen porn and it's just like, why? If kids just saw bodies naked earlier, they wouldn't care as much I think.

Max: Oh, there's another one, Overwatch is a game you can play, it's like an online like 5 on 5 team game.

Keiran: Okay.

Max: I didn't even know this but apparently they took the models from that game and made porn out of the characters in the game, with the actual models.

Keiran: Yeah, that doesn't surprise me.

Max: I was just like, what the fuck?

Keiran: Okay, next one.

Max:Is it me?

Keiran: Yeah.

Max: Oh. In the year 2050, we will have a mine on the moon.

Keiran: A mine mining moon rocks?

Max: Yeah, mining like ores and moon powder and shit.

Keiran: I wonder what they're gonna do with it.

Max: Make moon cocaine. That shit's gonna be so refined, it'll kill you in one hit.

Keiran: Yeah, I think it's just gonna be marketable because of the name. Alright.

Max: Mooncaine.

Keiran: Mooncaine. And maybe it'll do it in Mars too. In the year 2050, France will be forced to accept English as the international business language and they'll be very upset about it.

Max: France?

Keiran: Yeah.

Max: I thought you meant Quebec.

Keiran. No, France, well Quebec too.

Max: France doesn't operate in English?

Keiran: They will, they'll like have to operate in English inside their own country.

Max: Oh, I hear what you're saying. Yeah, I'd buy that.

Keiran: I don't know.

Max: Or Mandarin.

Keiran: I just they'd get very upset, oh Mandarin, yeah maybe Mandarin, that could possibly happen.

Max: They're so close to China.

Keiran: That would be very bad for us though. We would have to spend a lot of time learning Mandarin. 

Max: Really. And we would be like the obtuse kind of out of the, we would just be weird in the social situations. People would be like, those guys don't know how to talk.

Keiran: But I don't think the language is hard to learn, I think it's just the writing.

Max: Okay.

Keiran: Anyways, let's keep going.

Max: Okay. In the year 2050, all our toothbrushes will be electric. We'll just only have electric toothbrushes.

Keiran: Why?

Max: It just seems futuristic, I don't know.

Keiran: I already have electric toothbrushes.

Max: I don't.

Keiran: Well, maybe that's because you're poor. In the year 2050, my daughter will disappoint me with her choice of a partner.

Max: Yeah, yeah I buy that.

Keiran: I think every parents are disappointed by their children in some way, so I'm just assuming it's gonna happen.

Max: My parents are, yeah, yeah, definitely. Okay, in the year 2050 IKEA furniture will just be a piece of wood because of wood shortages.

Keiran: Yeah, you just buy like a block of wood.

Max: Yeah.

Keiran: It's like a piece of furniture.

Max: Yeah, when you buy a table it's just like a 2x4 you put on your leg and you just write on it, you know. And your bed is just like 10 pieces of wood and that's it, you put a mattress on that.

Keiran: I can see that happening, like you just get a piece of, like it's like a shaped piece of wood or something.

Max: Oh, oh like a 3D printed piece of wood so the shape just comes out in one piece.

Keiran: But would it be wood? Could they print wood?

Max: They could, well...

Keiran: Maybe by then.

Max: You could probably pack wood together but I don't think you can print it.

Keiran: In the year 2050 I will have much more money.

Max: Yeah, that's likely.

Keiran: It's just a hope. [Laughter]

Max: I mean, if you keep working, yeah.

Keiran: Yeah, no, everyone, I think everyone's income increases over time.

Max: That's 34 years, I don't wanna work that long. Jesus Christ.

Keiran: Yeah I think I'll be retired hopefully by then. If I'm not retired by then, I'll be very...

Max: You'll be 64.

Keiran: Or I better have like a sugar mama. Like my wife better be loaded.

Max: Yeah.

Keiran: Alright, your turn.

Max: Okay, we're gonna do more?

Keiran: Yeah, one more each.

Max: Uh, k, in the year 2050 weed will be a dinner garnish, like an aperitif people have before they eat dinner. 

Keiran: Okay, what do you mean by dinner garnish or an aperitif, just in case people don't know those words?

Max: So, aperitif usually is a little alcohol you have before dinner to get your appetite going. I think people are going to do that with weed to get hungrier, enjoy the meal more.

Keiran: That makes sense. Weed makes you hungry. Do you eat it or do you smoke it or what?

Max: Um, I think you would probably, I don't know, probably eat it if it's the future, people are real conscious about their lungs, right?

Keiran: Right. Alright, here's the last one. In the year 2050 today's first world countries will have been exposed for exploiting other countries around the world and will no longer be thought of in high regard.

Max: Yep.

Keiran: Yeah, I think that's slowly happening.

Max: Yeah with the information technology and the internet and stuff, people learning about everything. Yeah.

Keiran: Right, right. I think Canada and the US's reputations are going down the drain.

Max: Into the pooper.

Keiran: Into the pooper. Alright guys, that's the end of the podcast "In the year 2050". I invite you to come on the Facebook group and write what you think the world will be like in the year 2050. So just leave a comment in the section below, maybe if Max is up for it he can make one more, I don't know.

Max: Flying care, we didn't say flying cars.

Keiran: Yeah, we'll have flying cars.

Max: That's the number one cliche. We gotta have flying cars.

Keiran: We gotta stop building highways if we're gonna have flying cars.

Max: Yeah.

Keiran: Alright guys, so join us in the comment section on Facebook. Put what you think will happen in the year 2050

Sep 10, 2016

A little more than a month ago I learnt about Elon Musk with one of my students, and since then this article has been stuck in my head. Today we talk about, and learn a little English while having fun of course!

Sep 8, 2016

The story telling challenge is finally back! Head over to the Uncensored English webpage,, click on my big face, the image with tape across my mouth. Yeah seriously click it and have fun participating in the challenge! Cant wait to hear the ending you come up with!

Sep 6, 2016

Ahhh ESL schools, our former homes and workplaces. Frandy and Keiran discuss ESL schools, the pros, the cons, and should you attend one.

Sep 3, 2016

People who say crazy is a bad word or a negative thing are crazy, well not always, but sometimes, but seriously today we talk about degrees of insanity.

Aug 31, 2016

We talk about controlling your energy levels through body posture, weird ways to start a friendship, douchiness and tooting your own horn.  

Aug 29, 2016

In this episode of Uncensored English Keiran pokes fun of his innedaquecies that caused him to miss the chance to record a podcast yesterday night. We learn about a few words we often heard teachers use to belittle students in high school.

Aug 27, 2016

More word pairings with jerk,  a strange thank you letter, and Keiran rambles on feeling defeated.

Aug 24, 2016

*** INTRO ***

It's Wednesday day August the.... I don't actually know the date. Oh no it's the 24th, it's August the 24th. And I'm a little disappointed. I had a podcast planned today, actually I had three podcasts I was going to make today. And two of them I was not able to get done, the guest disappeared, uh the third one is going to happen tonight, so I can't use it as today's podcast because I need to put it up before tonight. So I thought I would do one more podcast on my own, I know you guys probably want to hear some guests back on here. We go some guests scheduled to come up, it just hasn't been, it's been about a week since I've been able to do it since I was in Halifax. But that's ok I came up with a snappy subject today. It's going to be fun. I wanted to talk about one other thing first. This is just such a cool event that happened, because of teaching, and a little bit because of my podcast. And one of my students I've been teaching her for I think about 4 or 5 months now already. She's a very nice young lady, she ... I'm not going to say her name I guess, but her fiancee lives in Canada, he moved here frmo another foreign country and she came here three weeks ago to get married. And they don't really know anyone here so they invited me to go to there wedding. Which I was honored to be invited, however I could not go cause I was in Halifax. But one cool thing that happened is I told Edward about it because Edward is in Toronto. So Edward and his wife went to one of my students and one of our Uncensored English podcasts' listeners wedding. And they had a very small and a very fun wedding which I'm jealous I didn't get to go to. And it was a funny I was talking to another one of my students about weddings, and we were both agreeing that weddings probably are more stressful and more expensive then they should be to celebrate the love and the life of a young couple. And I think that this couple is probably one of the only couples I've heard of that did it right. Without dropping tons of cash, and inviting 150 people and stressing themselves out. So I just wanted to congratulate you guys on your wedding, yay you did it. Now you are together forever unless you get divorced, but if that happens then you'll have to steal half each others shit. But I'm happy that you're married, I hope you're happy too, because if you're not well there's nothing you can do. Actually I didn't have a big wedding either, I just got married in the consulate, the Mongolian consulate in South Korea. Because my wife and I our visas were expiring and the odds of being able to go to the same country again were very little. Uh well I mean not for me, I have a Canadian passport that thing is sweeeet, but she has one of those shitty third world country passports where basically she can only go to countries she doesnt want to go to. That's probably the only marriage I would ever want, I don't actually believe in marriage, I don't really think I need the government or religions approval for my life. Seems silly to me and useless, but that's just my opinion... and if you believe otherwise, well good for you. Anyways, today I"m going to talk to you guys about a specific word, that word is jerk. Jerk is, mmmmm, I would say I soft swear word, or often an unkind word, but it's a very useful word. And there's a few very useful variations of it, that were going to talk about today. So by jerk, of course I don't mean to jerk your arm around. As in a sharp movement. A quick sharp movement. I mean, as in the noun, as in that guy is a jerk. So what do you think jerk means, what do you think jerk means. One of my favourite websites, urbandictionary, you can check it out. I like this definition, it's very comical, I'm going to read it for you. Jerk, the kind of guy most girls actually want, when they say they want a nice guy. Jerks are selfish manipulative bastards, he see girls as little more than sexual conquests to brag about to their buddies, or mere objects that are for their personal pleasure. K I'm not going to continue, because I think half of this is accurate, half of this is maybe a little bit overly progressive and sensitive and man hating, jerks do not have to be men, jerks can be women to. And I think, in my opinion, is that a jerk is a very self-centered person, who generally only thinks about themselves. I think the first line is pretty accurate when most women actually want when they say a nice guy. But let's talk about a jerk. Are you a jerk, am I a jerk? Sometimes I'm a jerk, sometimes I am selfish, I think it's healthy to be selfish, what do you guys think? Should we go around always putting others in before ourselves? Is that an attractive quality in a person? Someone who always sacrifices what they want for others? Ummmmmm I don't know. I cant answer for everyone but I don't think that's a good way to be. I don't think it's a good way to live, I think it's healthy, healthy, to be absolutely selfish. I like being selfish, I like doing what I want, I'll do what I want if that's what I want. I'll be a jerk, you'll be a jerk, don't be a jerk at work, that's not the place to be a jerk. Right, so, being a jerk, I like to be a jerk as long as I'm not hurting anyone. I mean the other day I think I made a little mistake with my daughter, I think I was a little bit of a jerk, but it was unintentional, my uhh my mom brought us some chocolates, and there was three chocolates she gave us, two of them were these little lindt balls,  and the third one was this little small box of smarties. So I took one of the lindt balls, she took one of the lindt balls, and then we both ate our chocolate lindt balls. Then, I took the box, and I said let's split the box, and she said it's my box of smarties and she said no it's my box of smarties. And I said no it's not, you just had one chocolate, I had one chocolate, let's split the box of smarties and she said no it's mine, and I started to get very upset, and I said Michelle were splitting it, you're being spoiled, and I opened the smarties and she started to go crazy. And I split them into two piles, evenly, and then she started to try to take the smarties from my pile, saying that they were hers, and then I snatched the last few ones and I put them in my mouth and I ate them. And then she exploded in anger and tears, and I thought she was acting like a jerk but it turns out that that box of smarties was actually hers, my grandma had , my grandma, her her grandma had given it to her, and I had eaten half of her box of smarties. So that was a jerk thing for me to do. See that's a jerk. I was ignoring the 4 year olds girls ideas and not listening to her, I was just being selfish and I didn't care about, I mean I thought I was being fair but apparently I was being a big jerk. Alright we're going to talk about a few other ways to use the word jerk. Jerk is often used to say that you're wasting time. It's a phrasal verb, stop jerking around. Stop wasting time. For example, do you remember you know when you were in school. And you had a group project, which is always awful cause you have to work with people. I mean group projects were terrible because every group project was the same. One person in the group did most of the word and had most of the good ideas, from my experience, and then everyone else would just jerk around. Meaning they'd just joke around and talk and no progress would every get made. And in those cases you would say Hey! Guys! Common stop jerking around! We have to finish this before we go home, the deadlines tomorrow we gotta stop jerking around. Stop jerking around, stop wasting time.  Stop wasting my time, I'm wasting your time, by repeatedly saying wasting time, I'm jerking around, don't let someone jerk around with your time. Jerking around. Another example is umm I was getting ready to go out with my wife and my daughter we were going to go into the village we wanted to get to the ice cream store before it closed which is generally around 10 but somedays it's earlier about 9. My wife and I were ready but my daughter was like I don't know what socks I want to wear daddy, I want to wear the orange and the purple socks daddy, and then I'm like alright put em on, ok I don't want to wear these anymore daddy I want to wear the polka dot socks daddy, alright fine put em on, daddy I want to wear I want, stop jerking around Michelle were going to miss the ice cream store. It's going to close, stop jerking around. Alright I'm going to wrap this podcast up, there's more to talk about with jerk but we don't really have time. It's actually a little more dirty then what we've already covered so I'm going to save this for Gabriel or Max or whoever we see next and we're going to continue phrasal verbs with jerk but remember jerk is a selfish person, which I don't think is bad but occasionally there too selfish to the point where they hurt other peoples feelings, where they're inconsiderate about other peoples feelings. And of course jerking around is being silly wasting peoples time. Being inconsiderate about others and what they need to do and just wasting time, you're jerking around. Pick your socks Michelle! Pick em! Stop jerking around with daddy's life! Alright, guys, listen to that podcast again, you know, right down the points, write down some sentences, try it out next time your speaking with some natives speakers or you're travelling through an English country. And we'll catch you next time on the next podcast of unnnncensored English!

Aug 22, 2016

By request, this is another episode to give you some conversational tricks for fitting into North American culture. Have fun!

*** INTRO***




So i'm finally back at home with my normal microphone so you'll probably notice the sound quality is a lot better. Sorry for the stadicky podcast while I was in Halifax. But I had to buy a headset and it wasn't the greatest obviously. But were back to the normal podcast, back to the normal time , back to transcripts unfortunately for me, that's an hour of typing for every 10 minutes I talk. Ouch it hurts! Anyways, today I wanted to do a podcast about um, well what was it, it was a few weeks ago I was talking to one of my students and they said some of the podcasts they really like were about to not ask why when someone kinda bails on a commitment or abandons you on plans you have. I think that podcast was podcast number 52, invitations and avoiding awkward situations with John Rey. So I was out other day and I had another one of these situations where it became an awkward moment with someone I didn't know. And I know that these kind of awkward moments, I mean they happen in every culture but in every culture they happen for different reasons. So I'm going to share with you how to avoid these awkward moments in these two situations this week.


So the first one is at a party, or at a bar, or your at some kind of social gathering with friends, and people you don't know. And you're talking to someone and you're getting to know someone too, sorry getting to know someone new and then all of a sudden they pop a question, they ask you, they'll say oh look at this new jacket I got, you'll be like wow it's so nice where did you get it? And she'll be like oh I got it at American apparel blablabla, and all of a sudden she says guess how much it was, guess how much it was. The wrong thing to do here is to try to accurately guess the price of how much the jacket was. This is the wrong way to address that situation. This is not what you're trying to do, the whole guess how much the jacket was is a chance for you to create positive feelings between you and someone else and just vibe with them. Create a closer connection. So again you don't try to guess the price of the jacket, what you do is you try to guess an amount that will make the person proud of what they bought. So if you know the jacket costs 60$, you want to say more than it was. So they feel like they saved money, and they got a steal and they're a smart shopper. Does that make sense? You know the jacket cost 60$, you don't want to say 60$ and ya I got it! YOu want to say oh my god it looks like it was 90$ and then they're going to think whoa I got such an expensive looking jacket or I'm a smart shopper. I got a good deal for this jacket which looks like it's 90$. So whenever you have this game whenever you're in a social situation, it's the same thing with ages, you're at a bar and you're talking to someone new and the person says guess how old I am. You don't want to guess that woman or man's age accurately. You want to guess that woman or man's age a little bit younger cause that makes them feel good and that creates a positive situation. So again guessing a price, or guessing someone's age is not a test of your intelligence, it's an opportunity in North America to create positive feelings and create a positive social interaction. 

Ok so that's the first one, I hope you, I mean I'm sure some of you already knew this but I"m also sure some of you didn't. Now here's the second situation. I'm going to give you the scenario for this one and then I'm going to let you pause and think about it. And try to figure this one out for yourselves. So the second scenario happened yesterday, I was at a grocery store near my house. And I went their for a specific reason, I went there to get a shin Ramyun noodles, it's a kind of ramen, it's not healthy it's my guilty pleasure. I know I should stop eating it. But I probably have it a few times a week. So anyways I go there, I go to the aisle where they have them I pick it up I go get into the line for the people who have 4-12 items, or 12 items or less, the short line. Waiting in line, I get to the line, I get to the cash, I plop my pack of ramen down onto the conveyor belt. They guy takes it scans it says, ah ramen noodles, ramen noodles, and I say yeah they're a great hang over cure. Now this is where the awkward situation happened, I'm not going to tell you what he said right away. But what would you say if you were him.

What would you say if in response to what I said if you were him? And again it's an opportunity, these situations are opportunities to make friends, opportunities to create positive feelings or to vibe with someone. And by vibe I mean kinda connect with someone on a on a positive level. On a level where I'm going to think positively after that interaction. And I'm going to want to interact with him again. So what would you do?

So here's what happened, I said yeah ramen noodles there a great hang over cure. And then he said I don't drink so I don't need them for that. And the funny thing is when he said that like this is a really negative to say for him, because there is two things that happened, one he broke the connect that me and him were building, like I had ramen and he had ramen, and I said oh yeah they're a great hang over cure I'm talking about ramen. And then he says I don't drink, so now he disconnects me and him, and then he says I don't need them for that. And when he says that, I don't need them for that, it implies on some level that there is something fundamentally wrong with what I'm doing and he's kinda put himself above me. And I didn't take it personally of course, but the funny thing is the guy ahead of me who was already leaving, he looked at me and he rolled his eyes, almost to say this guy didn't know what he's doing. And who knows maybe the cash guy was just having a bad day. But I'm going to give you the socially intelligent response to what I said, so again, it doesn't matter if you drink alcohol. IT doesn't matter if you if you find the matter of ramen being a hang over cure useful or not. The opportunity is to create a friend, to create positive feelings and to vibe. So if I were the other guy, I was the cash guy, and the other guy said ramen is a great hang over cure, even though I don't drink or I'm not interested in it for that reason, I'm not going to say I don't drink, I don't need it for that. I would say wow great, I'm going to share it with one of my buddies who drinks next time I see him. Or I'll say oh great I'm going to remember that for the future in case I ever do start to drink. And there with those two answers you've taken that situation you've created positive feelings, a good impression and you maybe next time you see that person you can build on it and create an ongoing relation at the grocery store. Or maybe the guy will turn into a friend or not. And this is really useful information for you people who are living in North America or Canada and you don't have as many native friends and you want more speaking experience people like these can actually turn into friends if you avoid those terrible social blunders. 

Ok so I'm going to wrap this one up. Nothing very censorable on this episode. I know you guys like the bad words and the fun stuff. BUt it's very useful information. So remember how much does my jacket cost, how old am I, is not a test of your intelligence. It's an opportunity to create positive feelings, good energy and a potential friend. And again if someone says oh yeah ramen it's a great hang over cure, or you know any other friend, oh spinach is great for blablabla, doesn't matter if you are never going to eat it or are not interested in what they said it's really an opportunity for you to test your English skills and to connect with that person on another level by saying something creative like, oh I have a friend who would love to know about that, I'm going to share it with him next time I speak. Alright guys that's the end of the podcast. IF you liked it enjoyed it, rate it review it and we'll catch you next time on the next episode of Unnnnnnnnnnnnnnncensored English!

Aug 21, 2016

The video podcast is coming up but until we get there why not try the Tombstone challenge! There's something peculiar about the words written on a Halifax tombstone I found, can you help me out? 

Aug 19, 2016

Cultural habits and norms can vary so much depending upon where you live. I've noticed that some foreign people find the North American family dinner intimidating and weird, and excusing yourself from the table is sometimes even more intimidating. So here's how you can do it! 

Aug 19, 2016

After driving around Halifax for a the last 6 days these two idioms kept popping into my head. I also ramble a little bit about my sushi excursion.

Aug 18, 2016

After having several inquiries about the word cunt from my student I asked David Peachey to talk about this strong curse word which is an absolute no no in Canada, and maybe marginally more acceptable in a few other English speaking countries. 


So today on Uncensored English um, I wanted to do a podcast on a curse word which a few of my students have asked me about. And I quite honestly didn't feel very comfortable doing it because where I live it's a very very big no no and I don't really use it regularly. So uh we're lucky to have David Peachey back on the podcast, how's it going David?

D: Hey Keiran, it's good to be back again, I guess I've been called in as some kind of expert.

K: Yeah haha, yeah you're the expert on the word, on the word cunt right. But I mean, it's a little, I know it's thrown around a lot more in Australia then it is in North America. 

D: Um hmm, yeah we're a bit more free with it, but umm again it is still a fairly strong curse word. 

K: right. But before we started the podcast you were telling me your name. You discovered something interesting about your name, your actual name that's kinda related to the word. 

D: Yes, I usually go by the name Peachey, cause David is a very very common name.

K: Right

D: And um, yeah it turns out that in Slovak, in the Slovak language it sounds very close to peacha, which means cunt in Slovak. If you want to say um, use some strong language like um... say fuck it, you'd say do peachey 

K: Oh really,

D: Which means to the cunt. If you wanted to tell someone to fuck off you'd say (hort?) do peachey, which means go to the cunt. That's really strong, wow! 

K: Ahahahah ok so maybe don't use that

D: Ummm

K: Unless you know what you're doing.

D: Yeah and I discovered this when I umm.. I think on my second or third visit to Bratislava and I was having a lot of beers as you do. with other Slovaks and a couple of other travellers in a pub in Bratislava. And one of the guys got up to leave and said ok guys see you later. And I said it's great to talk to you let's keep in touch you can find me online, oh but don't look for David, too many Davids. And at this point I was getting really proud of my name,

K: Yeah

D: and I said this is how you find me, Peachey. And then everyone stopped talking. And this guy just kinda looked at me as if to say what did you say?

K: yeah 

D: And and I thought he didn't hear me properly so I said it a little louder. Peachey. And now he's looking at me like he doesn't believe what he's hearing. 

K: Yeah

D: So I said really loudly and slowly, my name is Peachey. And everyone burst into laughter.

K: ahahahahaha

D: and I think alright, guys you got to explain this one to me.

K: Yeah

D: What's going on?

K: Yeah

D: Then they explained that Peachey sounds a lot like yeah

K: cunt

D: Do Peachey

K: My name is cunt

D: Yeah and then I moved to Slovakia and lived there for three years. 

K: Wow that's hilarious man, that's so funny. 

D: Yeah

K: That's so funny.

D: I was very careful, I was very conscious and careful of my surname when I was there.

K: I think the funny thing about cunt though, I mean I personally like the word although I never use the word.

D: Um hmmm.

K: I know a lot of women here have a problem with it because , their their big problem is that they say there's no male equivalent of cunt.

D: Yeah, nothing nothing strong enough I'd say.This is pretty strong so yah

K: Right and I mean in my mind the male equivalent of cunt has to be either prick or dick, but Dick is often a name for a man so it's obviously not that bad. 

D: Maybe cock is a closer one, 

K: Yeah maybe, right. But then again it's also the name of an animal so there not as, there not as bad as cunt I guess.

D: Exactly, the alternate meaning of dick and cock  it kind of softens it a bit.

K: Right. So we don't use it here very much, if we use it here people tend to get very very very upset. 

D: Oh and how

K: So how is it used in Australia in a somewhat acceptable way, like how could we get away with using it if we want to if we were in Australia.

D: Wow, that's a good question, of course it's not a free pass in Australia as well, you could probably start a fight, or you could be told to watch your language or wash you mouth out with soap and water as you do.

K: Right

D: Um but we um, sometimes we call our friends cunt, and you have to be really really really good friends if you do this. 

K: right

D: As if your friends not going to punch you if you do this.

K: Right

D: I'd say there has to be a lot of friendliness and probably a lot of beer involved. All together, you can't just have beer and cunt cause that starts fights. But beer friendliness and cunt, I think it's maybe acceptable. 

K: Ok and is there any, so I can just straight out use that word with my very close friends and they won't get upset, or is there anything I have to do before or? 

D: Uh well I usually suggest to my students if they want to use a slang or colloquial language the best thing to do is to listen to it first. Don't assume you can just walk up to any Australian and say hey cunt!

K: *Laughing* Ohhhh

D: Doesn't work I can speak from experience. And of course if they other person says hi, you're an alright cunt. Then you think ok maybe I can call him an alright cunt as well. 

K: ok. I have a friend, and I run a comedy show every Wednesday in Montreal and there's an Australian guy and you know we have to put up these promos on facebook and everything to try to draw people to the show. And on his, he shared the event he said I'm on this lovely comedy show with these lovely cunts next week.

D: *laughing*

K: He said lovely funny cunts next week. And for some reason, I don't know why it seemed less offensive when he put it, when you put those words in front of it. Does that make any logical sense from an Australian standpoint? 

D: It makes perfect sense, if you want to make the word cunt more appealing you can put a nice positive adjective in front of it like your examples lovely cunt, funny cunt, um clever cunt. Um like I said alright cunt. Of course you could make it sound worse by saying ugly cunt, horrible cunt. For example

K: Ok so that's probably what we don't want to do unless we're in a fight with someone I guess. 

D: Exactly yeah, uh we done the same thing with the word bastard in Australian English. Funny bastard, lovely bastard, so these are positive terms. Yeah so ugly bastard, horrible bastard, yeah so sometimes it really depends on the adjective.

K: Right. If you put, to me it sounds like if you're putting that adjective in front, if I say oh John's a lovely cunt, it sounds almost like I'm teasing him. 

D: It is, it sounds like a nice gentle affectionate tease. 

K: And I'm curious David, do women, do women do this too? Like in Australia if I'm doing this with a group of my guy friends that's going to be ok, but if there's women around will this offend the women if I say this or?

D: Uh good question, it depends on the women you're talking too. So I'm pretty sure if you're getting around Australia long enough you will find a few women who are fine with saying cunt cunt cunt.

K: But cunt is definitely not a free word you can just throw in wherever you want because you're in Australia. 

D: Exactly, you still use a bit of caution, but maybe the adjective will save you.

K: ok, I think, I think cunt is probably the strongest word you can't use in North America, it's probably the number one. I mean other than some racial slurs, it's an absolute no no. 

D: Yeah i'd say it's still pretty much the same. Even though we do have a little way of softening it. Yeah in general it's probably one of the strongest words you can use down here.

K:Alright, Ok, alright let's  kinda summarize this. You said, if I'm correct,

D: Um hmm

K: that really you should be using this word  with people who are your very your very close friends? 

D: People who will not punch you for calling them a cunt, yes.

K: Or people if they punch you it's a joking punch right? Or osmething like that.

D: Yeah who will punch you in the same affectionate way you that call them a cunt. Yes.

K: Yeah *laughing* Ok and then a way you can soften the word maybe with those close friends is you could put a nice adjective in front like lovely or funny or silly, like he's a silly cunt or something. 

D: Um Hmm. Silly cunt, clever cunt, adorable cunt. Yeah.

K: And making it worse would be putting a negative adjective in front of it.

D: Yup, horrible, ugly that can even make the word cunt sound all more aggressive.

K: Alright, ok, alright well thanks David for coming on here and helping us out.

D: You're very welcome. Um hmm, my pleasure.

K: And again if you want to get in touch with David you can catch  him at

D: Peachey, p-e-a-c-h-e-y -teacher. 

K: Alright great

D: great

K: And that's it guys, we'll catch you next time on the next podcast of Unnnnnncensored English!






Aug 16, 2016

In this podcast of Uncensored English we review some common casual goodbyes you can use to end a conversation. I also take a stroll around Halifax, video podcast version is available here -->



Aug 14, 2016

Happy Sunday! Live from Halifax Keiran talks about Sleeping in, jumbo rats and people losing their shit at the shopping mall. 

Aug 13, 2016

After arriving in Halifax and having some trouble with the toll booths I recorded this podcast. Learn about the expression breaking the seal. Also some thoughts on language learning. 

Aug 10, 2016



K: So today on uncensored English we're lucky to have David Peachy back on with us, how's it going David?

D: Hey Keiran, yeah it's good to be back. Thanks for having me again.

K: Yeah thanks for coming on back again, I just want to remind you listeners out there. That David is a professional teacher on Italki, so if you guys like the way he's speaking, if he sounds like a great teacher to you  how would they get in touch with you and schedule a lesson.

D: Ok they'd find, so peacher teacher is my tag name on italki. Peachey, P-e-a-c-h-e-y don't forget that E it's important.

K: Yeah great, so David I haven't talked to you in awhile, how's it, how's it been going?

D: Yeah it's been going pretty well, I just uh moved house, just from uh slightly outside of the city to closer into the city. So everything is a little more convenient and much closer now. So it's pretty nice.

K: Alright, I hate moving, I hope the move wasn't that hard for you.

D: Oh, it was, it was a lot of work. That's all I can say,

K: *laughter

D: I mean I don't think any move is nice, it's different to moving overseas cause you just take a suitcase, but moving house you got a lot more furniture and things to move around.

K: Yeah all that stuff, the worst experience I had with moving was a few years ago, I lived with three guys and one of my roomates just, he just messed up and what he did was he moved all the he moved all the small stuff in first.

D: Um hm... What?

K: And you got to move the big stuff in first, right?

D: Yeah that's logical.

K: And it was just such a mess because it was so hard to get anything else in and..

D: Ok

K: I don't even want to think abouit

D: Let's put that where it belongs in the past.

K: yeah yeah exactly. So today we're going to talk about drinking culture, we're going to talk about different types of drinks, traditions, and maybe compare the Australian and Canadian drinking cultures.

D: Yeah lots do it. Let's do it!

K: Alright so David when I was in Australia I was immediately confused

D: Uh hmm

K: by the types of drinks, I had no idea what I had to order.

D: ok, ummm, obviously we're a beer loving nation. And, I'm guessing the measurement of the beer was confusing. Was that the issue?

K: Yeah, the names.

D: The names.

K: Coming from Canada, the names are just so different. I didn't know what the size was, can you kind of enlighten us and help me remember what it was.

D: Ok well I'll go from the largest to the smallest. So we start at the pint, which is 570 mils, why do we get that really strange number? It comes from the ounce system. So basically a pint is 20 liquid ounces that old measurement system. Then we go down to, I'll go to the half pint, um, where I'm from in Queensland we call it a pot, and that's 10 ounces, that's half a pint. When you were in Australia what did you call it? What did you hear?

K: uh, I think we called it a middy?

D: Middy, yeah that sounds about right. Yeah I think the people down south call it Middy. We call it pot.

K: Would middy be an abbreviation for like middle? Or do you know?

D: I definitely think so, it sounds like a definite abbreviation of middle, or mid.

K: Right, If I was ordering a pot while I was drinking I would, I mean I think it would be a matter of minutes before someone made a joke about marijuana.

D: Definitely, pot and a pot. A pot of pot. Yeah umm, I think up in Queensland the pot is traditionally more popular because we have a hotter climate.

K: Ok

D: Of course with all the popular Irish pubs and uh British style pubs turning up in Australia we moved to Pints for awhile. And now the popular size is the Schooner. Which is 15 ounces. Which is exactly between a middy or pot or pint. So yeah normally if I go into a bar these days I would normally order the beer in a schooner size. That's strange for Queensland apparently down in New South Whales or Victoria further south the Schooner is quite standard. So yeah this is a new thing for us in the hot climate of Queensland.

K: Alright so we got, a pint is the large size. Then we got the half pint is the small size, and in Australia you say that's a pot or a middy,

D: Pot or a middy, yup!

K: And then you got a, like an in between

D: Yes

K: Which is the Schooner

D: Schooner like as in sailing ship.

K: You know what, I don't think I ordered pints in Australia.

D: Ok

K: I think I was ordering schooners.

D: Yeah, um if you're down in New South Whales I think that's the standard beer size. The beer schooner. Yah

K: Alright, so after you've bought your drinks

D: um hmm

K: and you're drinking with your buddies, what else, what else do we need to know about drinking? In Australia what other interesting things do you guys do differently.

D: K I noticed you said, bought your drinks, plural. Because we do have a little system of rounds in Australia drinking. For example if I go out with three other friends, there are four of us. Um so one of us would shout "the first round" as in buy the first round. Um we can buy different drinks, that's all fine. We don't have to agree on the same type of drink. And when were finished someone else goes and buys the second round. Then it works around the table

K: Wait

D: um hm

K: I'm confused, so like I go to get some drinks with you and another two guys. And you just say "first round" and that means you're going to buy the first round of drinks.

D: Yup, I say I'll get the first round, yup definitely, so I'll buy a beer for everyone, and you can calculate this. So I know at least if I'm drinking with three other people. So there are four of us, so I will have at least 4 drinks.

K: Ok, and what if I have to leave after the second round and I haven't bought my round.

D: Umm if you leave early I think it's forgiveable, but if it comes to maybe the fourth round or were doing a new rounds of rounds. Yeah that would be very socially awkward, we'd think you'd be freeloading if you didn't pay for your round.

K: *laughing* what do you mean by freeloading David?

D: Like getting free beers off us.

K: right.

D: and we think you're not paying your way next time we'll go out we wont invite you.

K: Yeah, so if I constantly make a habit of leaving after the third round and not the fourth round, people are going to start not liking me as a person.

D: Exactly, I mean if you apologize a lot and say look I'm really sorry and say next time you jump in first and you get the first round yup, all will be forgiven, but people who try to avoid paying for their round. We notice it, we won't openly complain but we'll make a mental note not to go drinking with you again.

K: So let me get this straight, I can order any drink I want. Let's say you're getting like a schooner of house beer and then like two other guys are getting schooners of another similar priced beer,

D: Um hmm

K: But then I decide to get like a an expensive scotch. No one's going to have a problem paying extra for my drinks when they buy their rounds?

D: Unless you're buying an expensive expensive scotch. Yeah we don't mind um handing out the couple extra dollars just to cover the scotch. And I think if it's, if you're in a situation where you are buying rounds you will be conscious of the prices and you'll think just to be fair I'll have something that's priced approximately at what other people are drinking.

K: Alright

D: You wouldn't take it as an opportunity to buy the most expensive drink possible.

K: At least if you're not a shitty person.

D: Exactly, if you're not a shitty person, if you play fair, all will be good.

K: In Canada we have one tradition, I don't actually think it's the English part of Canada it's the french part of Canada.

D: Um hmm

K: I mean you guys, you guys do the cheers when you drink, you get a round of drinks and everyone says cheers and you start drinking is that right?

D: Yeah every new round as well, I noticed in other cultures they don't normally do this. They'll do it for the very first drink, but not for the following drinks. But we normally do it for every round.

K: yeah, and what we do is the French people say a la sante, meaning

D: A la sante,

K: Meaning to good health right

D: uh hmm

K: and then sometimes if you're just too people you'll do the whole thing where you twist your arms around each others arms and you drink.

D: Ah yeah, like you're getting married or something.

K: yeah, but the other thing is if you do the a la sante but you don't look the person in the eyes while you're doing it, you're supposed to have a curse for 10 years of bad sex or something.

D: Yeah, uh I think we're slightly aware. That's one of the rules I've heard about but I haven't seen much in Australia. I'm aware of the eye contact thing and yeah people forget about it. They're too excited about their drinks.

K: Yeah right. It's not my round get another drink.

D: yeah, free drink, free drink yup

K: Alright so let's just wrap this up quickly, David

D: Sure

K: Could you go over quickly what were the kind of drinks we did?

D: Ok the size of beer glasses, we have the largest one pint, then we have the half size of that, half-pint, which we call either a middy or a pot generally. Then we have the popular in between size, uh schooner.

K: Schooner

D: Schoonah, yeah schooner? Schoonah

K: ok no ur, schoonah

D: Schoonah

K: Like with an a sound at the end?

D: Exactly, yeah we just drop that R at the end. It's too much effort.

K: ok ok, schoonah people, not schooner.

D: Um hmm, yup. And for the drinking rounds yeah if you're drinking with a  group of people. Make sure you get in early, buy around for everyone and karma will come back to you in a very nice way, in the form of beer.

K: right, yeah, don't be a freeloader.

D: yeah, don't do that, we don't like it.

K: Alright

D: Great

K: And then with Canadian, it's just with the French you look them in the eyes when you do the French cheers a la sante. Or it's a little rude, and you're going to get, well you're not going to get bad luck. That's just bullshit *laughing*

D: But people will tell you you're going to get bad luck

K: Yeah maybe you'll believe them then have bad luck

D: Exactly, I'll remember that when I'm in Canada.

K: Yeah yeah do that,

D: Eye contact

K: that's important and I won't skip out on my rounds in Australia

D: Sweet, it's a deal.

K: Alright, alright guys, so again if you want to contact David Peachey. It's

D: Yup, yes that's my tag

K: And that's how you can get in contact with him. And we'll catch you next time, on the next podcast of Uncensored English.

Aug 8, 2016

Today we talk about one of Edward and I's favorite Canadian pastime, Canoe Camping.


*** INTRO***


K: So it's uh, it's another beautiful summer day here in Montreal, and I'm really starting to feel like the summer is going to be ending soon which is disappointing. But I got something planned in the next few weeks I'm going to go canoe camping again with my wife and I got Edward back here on the podcast and I know he just went camping to a very popular destination in Ontario right?

E: That is true.

K: Right and where did you got, can you tell us a little about it and how the trip went?

E: Yes I went camping with my wife last week to a place called Algonquin park. And Algonquin park is a huge provincial park in Ontario. It's about 3 hours away from Toronto.

K: Yeah

E: And it's similar to a place that we've been to. In Quebec called Tremblant.

K: Right, Tremblant national Parc.

E: And we didn't get to see all of Algonquin, I think it would take a really long time to see all of the park.

K: Yeah probably

E: But

K: A few months maybe

E: BUt it was even more rustic, it's even more back country than Tremblant, as in you can really get lost in the wilderness there.

k: Ok, so it's probably less developed there too I hope, like where we go in Tremblant Parc, there's nothing really built there except they kinda have plots set out for where you put your tent on so it's not uncomfortable to sleep.

E: Yeah this is even, even less developed than that.

K: Good, that's great

E: And then you also have the option, like the place that we went we still needed to rent a canoe so we had to go to one of the bigger lakes that had the outfitters store.

K: Ok

E: So we could rent a canoe, if we needed life jackets. Or firewood, stuff like that. But if you already have a canoe and if you already have life jackets you can go to a smaller lake and you don't see anybody. You park your car and you just leave from their. And you know you sign in. Maybe 45 minutes before you reach this lake. And after that you're really just going into the wilderness more and more. You know just seeing fewer and fewer people and you're really getting into the back country there.

K: That's awesome, to me that's the whole point. Every time I see a person when I'm camping at Tremblant I'm like NO! This is my experience, get out of it, I want to be alone.

E: Right, well when we went camping we would purposely go at the start of the season and at the end of the season. Because we knew there would be fewer people right?

K: Right, right, and it's the same thing I'm going on August 11th, and 12th, and that's the middle of the week and I purposely chose that date cause I don't want to be surrounded by tons of teenagers partying and or just I don't want to share my campsite with someone. I want to be alone.

E: Yeah that's one thing, you go to a place like Tremblant and really you're removed from everything. And it happened to me one time. Where you arrive at the campsite and you're actually going to be six feet away from another tent.

K:'s like the worst. 


E: This is pretty, this is pretty bad.

K: This is garbage, depressing.

E: And uh you know Algonquin it's so big that that would happen less often.

K: Right

E: And they had some really cool sites, like the lake we were on. They had some sites that were just little islands in the middle of the lake. And those were the popular ones. Those were already taken when we got there.

K: right.

E: We thought about if we go back at the end of August or near September we could try to do that.

K: did you guys have to do any portaging when you were there?

E: We didn't, there are other parts of the park that are really popular for portaging. So portaging is where you canoe somewhere and then you have to get out get on to the land and carry your canoe and everything to another part of the lake or another part of the river. Right

K: Right you'll walk for who knows, a few kilometers or maybe more than a few kilometers with your canoe on your back.

E: you really, you really have to limit what you're carrying when you do portaging because you know when we went camping just last week. We still had a lot of stuff. Cause we were planning meals. And we'll bring the mat so we're comfortable in the tent. When you're portaging

K: Yeah you cant bring that stuff

E: You can't do that. Ok I got the tent, I got the sleeping bag, I got some food. you got a tarp. Ok that's all we can bring. Ok we've got the canoe on our heads and we're walking through the forrest.

K: When I, I remember when I did my canoe camping course in college. One of the instructors for the course, he had an eye, it was kind of like a, he had an eye problem, and someone asked him what's wrong with your eye. And what had happened was he had been camping, he was portaging, like he was doing a solo portage right. That means he was carrying the canoe alone. And generally you portage with another person.

E: Yeah

K: He was carrying the canoe alone and he didn't notice but he walked into a a tree. And one of the little branches of the tree went right into his eye.

E: Yeah

K: Like he couldn't see it and then that just I guess it damaged his eye forever.

E: Well, (clears throat) excuse me um.

K: Just in case you guys want to go camping. *laughter* This is an advertisement for it.

E: That's one of the big hazards cause you are going through, you're kinda bushwacking as we say, you're going through trails that have not been groomed, have not been carved out completely.So when you are doing that, and your arms are up holding the canoe you can't really protect your face very well

K: Right

E: So that's something that can be dangerous. For us, for us the biggest hazard that we ran into was the mosquitoes.

K: Ugh gross I hate mosquitoes.

E: And I'm hoping that when you guys go. Cause in Canada where we are at least the mosquito season kinda ends  at the end of July. But we were there around July 19th 20th. They were still probably not as bad as they were a month earlier. But they were still pretty bad. The second night we were there um the day was so calm there was no wind. And just at like 8:00 PM 9:00 PM you just heard the buzz of the mosquitoes.

K: (Buzzzing sound(

E: Yeah, and I told my wife, just listen. Can you hear that? And she's like what is that? and that's mosquitoes coming for us.

K: Yeah

E: And were just sitting there and there was like nothing you could do. And at that point there was nothing you could do so at that point we just go into the canoe and went on to the lake just to get away from the mosquitoes. And they were still out on the lake but it wasn't it wasn't as bad as you know sitting at the campsite.

K: Well I went last year at the exact same time I'm going this year and there was almost nothing last year, and the water was really warm too so I think hopefully we're going to luck out with that.

E: Yeah.

K: Remember the, and that's the other thing. I'm going with Michelle to, like she's 4, so I can't really do any of these bushwacking adventures you know. So we're going to a place that we know is beautiful but yet it's relatively close. 

E: Accessible.

K: And it's the place we went to the first time we went canoe camping, remember?

E: Oh I do yeah.

K: And the first time we went, we had a lot of fun. But the second time we went, is the time we went to the same campsite, but she had to share the campsite with these two women who we didn't know. And we were just like Nooooo, this is not fair.

E: Yeah well that's it, like I mentioned before. You go to a place with the intention of getting away from everything.

K: Yeah

E: And if someone else has the exact same idea. There is the chance that you'll end up like closer to strangers then you would be in the city.

K: Right, right right

E: that's a frustrating thing.

K: right

E: Sometimes it's just luck, and not being lucky.

K: But then the other thing that happened the second time we went is, I mean we went for I think two nights. And there was just, what I would describe as a shit ton of rain.

E: Yes

K: Like almost all one day, and one night, and then a lot of rain throughout. And you and I ended up being almost for a whole day we were stuck in the tent. 

E: I was thinking about this last week when we were camping cause we actually had really good weather.

K: Yeah, right

E: When my wife and I went. But I still thought of that time. And told her that story of one day, I think it was probably the second day we were there. I think it was the first full day. We woke up in the morning and it was kinda of drizzling. We went out in the canoe. It started to rain a little bit harder.  We got back. We went into the tent just to get away from the rain. And it didn't stop raining until 6 pm.

K: Yeah

E: And I think it was just uh, and I think we just took naps.

K: Yeah we just tried to sleep through it.

E: And ate granola bars.

K: But we, I think at the end of it I was getting a little bit of cabin fever, right. What would you describe cabin fever as? To the people who don't know.

E: It's a feeling of restlessness. Where you really you want to leave the place that you're stuck in. You want to do something else.

K: Yeah, right

E: So cabin fever, if you're snowed  in,  if you're cabin is snowed in. You have no choice to stay there to stay warm and to survive. For us camping we wouldn't have died if had gone out into the rain but we would've been miserably wet and

K: Yeah you kind of go crazy a little bit when you're locked in a small space for too long. And especially I think that's major cities, major cities always have more crime and more problems because they have so many people in a small space. That's the idea if you're stuck somewhere for a long time you're probably going to go crazy.

E: Yeah, yeah again we're really encouraging  people to go camping here.

K: Go camping it's great!

E: Go with your loved ones, you'll go crazy.

K: You might not love them when you come back.

E: There was another time that you and I went camping in a bigger group. And that time it rained quite a bit, but I think that time we just got the fire going and we just tried to stay dry next to the fire.

K: right.

E: That's the risk you run, that's the risk you have when you go camping and you don't really pay attention to the weather and the forecast.

K: Yeah, and even if the weather is nice, you should bring a change of clothes, bring a tarp, cause then you can just go out in the rain and it's not that bad and you can just enjoy yourselves.

E: Yeah when we went camping last week, um we knew that there was a chance that the day we came back there would be a thunderstorm and we were like, well we'll just go and see what it's like and if the morning that we have to come back we'll leave really early. And what happened was the thunderstorm was kinda cancelled I guess. They stopped predicting it in the forecast. But on the morning that we left it was really calm and we decided just to take our time and just to have a nice breakfast. And by the time we decided to pack our stuff to go back to our car the water was so choppy and the wind really picked up so we ended up setting ourselves up for a really tough canoe trip back. And took us nearly twice as long as it took to get to the site. And by the end of it it was so frustrating because we were just going straight into the wind, straight into the waves, and your paddling as hard as you can and you see that you're not moving

K: *Laughter* yeah

E: because you're just fighting everything going against you.

K: yeah

E: and uh when we did that that was a pretty frustrating little adventure. And by the end of it our muscles were so soar. And so exhausted, and then you just pack the car and now I have to focus on driving for 3 hours but.

K: Yeah, I always have the thought once when I go camping, I always have the thought where I just think why, why am I doing this? Why am I paying money to do this?

E: Yeah, yeah and I think that's a natural, thing to have cross your mind.  And I think that's a natural thing to have cross your mind because you know why you go to a place like Algonquin or Tremblant, but at some point you're like, but why am I punishing myself? When we were fighting off mosquitotes and it's like youre having a bowl of soup and mosquitoes are diving into it you're like ahhhh I cant even eat in peace.

K: Yeah *laughter*

E: Then you're just kinda like you know I have a perfectly good home that keeps bugs out and..

K: that's it, it helps you appreciate what we have and we often take for granted.

E: Yeah

K: Alright anyways I gotta wrap this up, because I gotta go pick up Michelle from her soccer game which is going to end in about 5 minutes.

E: Ok

K: Guys listening to this podcast, I know a lot of you have been camping. So I'm going to put this podcast on the facebook page, and in the comments section below, why don't you guys tell us about your camping experiences, you know the good ones, the bad ones, what do you want

E: the ugly ones

K: yeah, what amazing stories do you have for us? We'll catch you guys on the next podcast of Unnnnnnncensored English!


Aug 6, 2016

Today on uncensored English learn how to ask about sensitive subjects by using softeners. 


Aug 5, 2016

On the way up to Ottawa Keiran rambles about teaching, professionalism and life in general. 

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