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Looking for a different angle on English language podcasts? Keiran the crazy Canadian goes where the other English podcasts don't... and more. Keiran and his native English guests discuss politically incorrect subjects as well as general English language, idioms, expressions, culture and more all while having natural unscripted conversations. This podcasts feature an educational exploration of language ranging from every day expressions, pop culture expressions, explicit language and anything in between. The podcast is geared towards adults students, professionals, university students as well as ESL teachers who want to step out of the "Safe Space" of the English language education community and have a little more fun. Join Keiran and his guests in their down to earth humorous conversations and learn to speak a more universal edgy form of English like a native! English ISN'T always PC!!!
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Now displaying: Category: english language education
Jan 16, 2017

Today we have a fun fluffy episode for a change. Anna and I discuss onamatopeia, in other words, words we use for sounds that sound like the sound.

 

***Transcript***

 

Keiran:

How's it going everyone? It's good to be back on the podcast. Today we have our favorite Australian.

 

Anna:

Oh stop. Stop it. Stop it. Really, honestly, stop it. Keep going. Keep going.

 

Keiran:

You like it. You want the flattering.

 

Anna:

I deny nothing.

 

Keiran:

Yeah, we got Anna back on the podcast. How are you doing Anna?

 

Anna:

Very well, thanks Keiran. How are you doing?

 

Keiran:

I'm doing well. I'm doing well. And uh what's new with you these days? It's been quite a long time since we've talked.

 

Anna:

I don't know. Just the usual really. Teaching, singing, having a laugh. What about you?

 

Keiran:

I don't know. It's my day off. It's a Wednesday, so it's basically my day where I don't get paid but I work anyways. It's fun because it's the passion project stuff. So uh today, we had a fun topic we've chosen by your suggestion. I've never done this, so I was like, "Yeah. Why not?" Actually, I don't even think I covered this when I was teaching in ESL schools, but it is a fun topic. We're going to do onomatopoeias.

 

Anna:

I don't know if there is a plural of it. I think it's just onomatopoeia always.

 

Keiran:

Is it just onomatopoeia?

 

Anna:

I think it is.

 

Keiran:

That's a good question.

 

Anna:

I think it's a Greek word or something.

 

Keiran:

It's non-countable.

 

Anna:

There you go. It's a non-c- It is a Greek word. There you go.

 

Keiran:

Is it?

 

Anna:

Onomatopoeia. It is, and it sometimes turned into late Latin according to this etymology that I'm looking at.

 

Keiran:

I would feel bad making it plural, but like I just said, I've never done it. I guess you get to learn your first time, right?

 

Anna:

There you go. See, I taught you something today Keiran.

 

Keiran:

Yes. Thank you. Before we get into it, can you explain what is onomatopoeia?

 

Anna:

Onomatopoeia is basically a word that sounds like the thing it describes. So if you think about, for example, animals sounds are a good way to think about it. You got the cat going, "Meow," and so we say, "Meow". When you have a cow it goes, "Mooorh." We don't really have that sound in English, so we say, "Moo." It sounds close to what you're describing. And of course, as we'll see, there are all different types of onomatopoeia that describe different sound effects or things that you hear out and about.

 

Keiran:

Right, I guess the people that are listening could also think of the old school Batman TV shows. Whenever they would hit someone, it would go like, "Paff" or like "Smack" or something, and they have the-

 

Anna:

Pow.

 

Keiran:

Pow.

 

Anna:

Bam.

 

Keiran:

All those punches that made pow sounds.

 

Anna:

Exactly. Exactly, that's spot on.

 

Keiran:

Let's go back to what you just said. Let's start with animal sounds. You said, "Moo" and "Meow." The funny thing is is I think we all have onomatopoeia that I guess we're raised with. My wife and I always have this argument about dogs. The onomatopoeia that we have for dogs is bark, bark bark, woof woof, or ruff ruff. And when I went to Mongolia, why wife was just like, "What are you? It's not 'bark'. It's 'how how how'. It's 'how how how'. All the dogs go 'how how how'". I guess we all have our own.

 

Anna:

I'm just trying to think like, "How how how how." Yeah, there you go. Yeah, yeah, okay.

 

Keiran:

A dog can make that sound I guess. It's just funny, because I think there's some that are universal like cows. Everyone knows a cow goes, "Moooooo".

 

Anna:

Even in German they say, "Kuh macth moo".

 

Keiran:

They say what?

 

Anna:

"Kuh" which means cow, "macth", does, "moo".

 

Keiran:

Cow does moo. Right.

 

Anna:

Kuh macth moo. It rhymes in German which makes it funnier.

 

Keiran:

Yeah yeah that does make it. Everything that rhymes is always funnier and more enjoyable. That's dogs. See, we had dog, bark, woof, and if you're in Mongolia apparently the dogs go, "How how how."

 

Anna:

They really don't know how to do anything. They're just like, "How? How?"

 

Keiran:

"How? How? How do I do this?" What other ones do you got? What are common on your end or the earth?

 

Anna:

Yeah uh, I really want to talk about one, because it's from Australia and I think it's really interesting which was an advertising campaign in Australia. As you may know, Australia is known for being a very hot country. We also have a giant hole in the ozone layer over our country. There's a lot of skin cancer basically in Australia because of the strength of the sun. It's not just hot; it's actually the UV rays are stronger. The government started a campaign, and it was called, "Slip. Slop. Slap."

 

Keiran:

What do these words mean?

 

Anna:

You have no idea what I'm- Slip is like when you slide something onto you. In this case, it was meant to represent a t-shirt. You don't go out with a bare chest. The idea is you wear a t-shirt when you go to the beach or something like that. That's slip on a shirt. Slip is the first one.

 

Keiran:

Slip on a shirt. Right.

 

Anna:

Slip on the a shirt. The second one was slop, and slop we normally associate with liquids or food that is runny like a stew or a soup or something like that. That idea of the liquid moving around. Slop, slop, slop, slop, slop.

 

Keiran:

I'm even thinking of like pig slop. It's a runny liquid, right?

 

Anna:

That too. Here though they're referring to sunscreen. They'd say, "Slop on some sunscreen." You slop it. Go slop onto your skin and then rub it in so there's a lot of it. The last one is slap, and slap is normally actually used to describe when you hit someone with an open palm. I'm sure you know that. In this case, they're talking about slapping on a hat. Just quickly putting a hat on your head so it's like a slap. It just goes, "chuk" straight onto your head. Altogether, they said, "Slip. Slop. Slap." This was a very common saying in Australia to promote sun safety.

 

Keiran:

It's funny about Australia that you mention that, because when I was in Australia was when I really got my education about the sun. I think it's just because, like you guys said, you guys have stronger ... You have a hole over the ozone. I was always the person who tanned. I was like, "Aw. I'm gonna go tan. I love tanning." After I went to Australia was I like-

 

Anna:

Oh, you sweet summer child.

 

Keiran:

I know. Then I'm like, "Oh my God. This is bad. I gotta stop doing this."

 

Anna:

We learn young. We learn very young in Australia. That's true.

 

Keiran:

Good. "Slip. Slop. Slap." It was slip on a shirt, which is the sound of putting on a shirt on quickly. Like the whish, yeah? Then slop. Slop on the sunscreen. Then slap on a hat. Dependent on how much sun cream is in the bottle I guess. Then slap on the hat, right?

 

Anna:

Yeah. Just slap it off.

 

Keiran:

That's great. Slap brings me to the next one, and I like to use this one with my students. You know when you're having a conversation, from time to time, you guys talk about something that's important in your life. I think we've all had experiences where someone offends us or someone rubs us the wrong way. Just for fun, just for humor, I just say, "Well, you know, next time that happens," and then I just give a visual of my hand and put my other hand on it, "You just go up to that person, and you just slap them." I'm honestly joking, but that always just makes the students so happy to know that we can pretend to get our revenge. You don't actually do it.

 

Anna:

I don't know. I think the last time we spoke, I mentioned I actually did slap someone as well. Sometimes ...

 

Keiran:

That's probably one of those rare times where you got to reinforce your boundaries, right?

 

Anna:

Yeah, that's true.

 

Keiran:

Most of the times, we don't want to. I've slapped people too before. One time I slapped a bouncer at a night club. I think it was warranted. I worked at many night clubs, and this guy just ... The club was filled with our staff, 120 of our staff members, and I was going outside. I was on my phone, and I was standing in the doorway. He just gets in and he just grabbed me by under the arm and yanked me out of the doorway. I got in his face. I'm like, "Dude, you could've just told me, you know?" Bouncers, sometimes they're great people, but sometimes they have big egos. I was really drunk, and I just slapped him the face. I bitch slapped him like "psh". I remember his face was just like ... He just looked at me right away like he was going to kill me. I was lucky because there was about 20 other guys there who were with me, and they kind of stopped the thing from escalating. It was a good slap sound.

 

Anna:

It sounds like it. It's also for a less violent situation is for a high five.

 

Keiran:

The smack or the slap of a high five. Right.

 

Anna:

You just say, "Give me five." We don't say, "Slap me five."

 

Keiran:

I'd say, "Give me five" or "High five".

 

Anna:

It is a slap sound.

 

Keiran:

We did dog sounds. We did slap. We did "Slip. Slap. Slap." "Slip. Slop. Slap." Slap. Dogs sounds. Anything else before we wrap this up, Anna? What else do you go in your-

 

Anna:

Yeah, actually. Your talking about Batman before made me think of two that are a little bit similar but slightly different, which is bam and bang. Bam is like the sound we normally associate with two heavy objects of some sort colliding with each other. For example, if something like a car runs into a wall, we might say, "Bam." Like, "Whoa." Like it hit it really hard. Bam. There's also a famous "Futurama" reference, I don't know if you know this, when there's a cook and he's got this special spice he uses. Every time he puts it into his soup he goes, "Bam." I think put it into the vernacular for use now for whenever you really do something really well you just go, "Bam. I did it." Yeah, like awesome.

 

 

Bang is kind of similar but different. We usually use it for the sound of explosions. Rather than two things colliding together, it's the sound of something exploding apart, this bang. Like we say, "The Big Bang" for example. The beginning of the universe is that example of something exploding out. That big sound.

 

Keiran:

The exploding of a star or something. Right. Bang. Bang. Bam. I think I do use bam sometimes. Just when you do something well. I'm just like-

 

Anna:

Exactly. You're like. "Yeah, awesome. Bam."

 

Keiran:

"Bam. Got it done." Exactly. Bam

 

Anna:

Nailed it.

 

Keiran:

Bang, bang, bang. Bang. The other thing bang is is guns.

 

Anna:

Guns.

 

Keiran:

Guns. I was just thinking of the song, "Bang Bang."

 

Anna:

"Bang Bang."

 

Keiran:

I love that song.

 

Anna:

It's a great song.

 

Keiran:

That's it. Let's wrap this up. We did onomatopoeia. We did dog sounds. We laughed at the cultural difference between dogs.

 

Anna:

How, how, how.

 

Keiran:

How, how. Those confused Mongolian dogs.

 

Anna:

It's like, "Fetch the ball. Fetch the ball." "How. How."

 

Keiran:

Then we did, "Slip. Slop. Slap." Which was? One more time.

 

Anna:

Slip on a shirt. Slop on some sunscreen. Slap on a hat.

 

Keiran:

Then we did smack. No we didn't do smack. We did bam and bang. Bam.

 

Anna:

Bam and bang.

 

Keiran:

Bang like an explosion and bam.

 

Anna:

Bang can mean one other thing Keiran.

 

Keiran:

Yeah, we can go down that dirty road. It doesn't really mean. I mean, it means it, but it doesn't make the sound. I think we would use smack more for that. Maybe we'll talked more about the "Smack, smack, smack" in another episode.

 

Anna:

We won't talk about the slop in that case.

 

Keiran:

We'll leave it to the smack and the ...

 

Anna:

Smack and the bang.

 

Keiran:

On that hilarious note, we just want remind you guys if you want to have a hilarious and fun and engaging lesson with Anna, you can get in touch with her. What's the website they go to schedule a session with you Anna?

 

Anna:

I'm on italki as well, so it's italki or italki.com/anna.m.

 

Keiran:

Anna.m.

 

Anna:

That's m for Mary, not N, Nellie.

 

Keiran:

Italki.com/anna, A-N-N-A, .m for Mary. Thanks so much for coming on again and making this another hilarious episode.

 

Anna:

Of course. I'm sure it won't be the last time.

 

Keiran:

We'll catch you next time Anna.

 

Anna:

Absolutely. Thanks again Keiran.

 

Keiran:

Ciao.

 

Keiran:

I close it.

Jan 14, 2017

Reading a foreign language can sometimes be slow and tedious. Today we discuss some reading techniques to help you retain more, we also talk about UE Café and more!

 

 

Jan 11, 2017

In today's podcast we look at the insanity of how movie theaters treat their clients with a few comical comparisons. We also discuss a hilarious method one of my students used to make a major correction to his English. Remember we're also kicking off our first Uncensored English Café at meetup. com, https://www.meetup.com/uncensoredenglishcafe/events/236790195/ only 3 spots left. 

 

*** Transcript***

 

Hey everyone, how's it going? Welcome to Wednesday! It's Wednesday. It's hump day. How you doing? Hope you're doing well. Hope you're doing great. Hope you're doing dandy, meaning good of course. I'm doing fantastic. It's actually Tuesday on my side right now but you guys are gonna hear this on Wednesday likely. I just had such a great morning and I was so happy to see one of my students who has just made huge progress since we've started. I noticed today that he has completely eliminated, not completely, almost completely eliminated a huge mistake he was making before, a huge grammatical mistake. I was just so proud of him, man. It just goes to show that if you work hard and if you work smart, you can progress in your English quickly. He hasn't been doing English lessons that long.

 

 

I asked him, "Hey man, have you done anything else to get over this mistake that you were making?", and he had been doing something. He had this amazing tip. I was just like, "man, this guy is such a smart student". He said, I'm just gonna give the credit to him right now because I know he doesn't care, Alex, one of my students, Alex, he told me that when he has some kind of time waster he does in his life, he makes sure that it's useful. Instead of just going online and writing on Facebook in Russian, maybe he's finding something to do in English.

 

 

He had a very funny one which I like particularly. I think it was hilarious. He goes on a website called 9GAG. I think it's a kind of comedy based website, I'm not really sure. I'm gonna go there right now and check it out. Basically he gets into arguments with people online. If you make a grammatical mistake, people mock you, so he has really good motivation to win his arguments. He improved, man, and he got rid of that mistake he was making. Hey, Alex, give yourself a pat on the back again. Good job, keep going man. It's great to see people improving like that.

 

 

Before I get deeper into the podcast, I already probably announced this in the intro, I'm gonna do it again, we got the first Uncensored English Conversation Café on Sunday. You can join it by going to the Meetup group and RSVPing. There's only room for five people when we start it so you better be there on time. You gotta review a podcast first to be a part of the group. You gotta go to iTunes and write me a review and confirm it and don't just press the stars. I mean, write something, write something thoughtful. "Hey Keiran, I like this podcast because A, B, C, blah, blah, blah" and confirm that or send it or whatever button you have to press. I gotta see it on my end on iTunes. Then we're gonna have a one hour conversation about what grinds your gears, argh, about your country. What pisses you off about your culture. Remember, this is not a chance to attack other cultures, other countries, other religions. It's gotta be about your own. We're laughing at ourselves here, we're not laughing at others. Of course, you can laugh at me when I make fun of my culture, but you can't just go shit on people. If you want to shit on people, just go do it on any other random website. That's pretty much what 90 percent of the internet is.

 

 

All right, today we're just gonna talk about a few things. I'm gonna give you guys some ideas for the Uncensored English Café that's gonna happen on Sunday, for those of you who are gonna join us. For those of you who are not gonna join us, it's just basically gonna be a review on Monday's podcast which is good because if you want to learn and retain things, you gotta review it. That's just basic.

 

 

I'm not sure if you guys noticed, but Monday's podcast, it took me about I think three or four attempts for Max and I to actually get that podcast done, which is very strange. Usually, the podcasts are just one offs. By a one off, I mean we just do it one attempt. We don't have to record it several, several times, but on Monday, we didn't record it on Monday, we recorded it before Monday, when we tried to record it we were both just in such low energy states that every time we did a podcast, I just couldn't. I was like "no, this is not good enough. We both have low energy. It's boring. I don't want people to listen to this garbage!" It was terrible, so we recorded it several times. Even in the beginning it started a little slow, but I know it picked up at the end and it good content in it so I published that one.

 

 

We're gonna review it again today. I'm gonna talk about something I did over the holidays. I went to see two movies. I'm wondering if you guys have gone to see movies lately. The two movies that I saw were, I know I count pronounce this, 'Moana', 'Moana', it's not an English name. 'Moana' is the kids movie about the little island girl who has to save her island and I guess the whole world. She has the help of this demigod to do it. The other movie I saw was 'Sing'. It's like a musical for kids, another animated movie. I know what you're thinking. You're probably thinking, "Keiran, is all you see kids movies?", and yes, pretty much that's all I see. I don't see anything else for the last four years. Every single friggin' movie I've seen has been a kids movie.

 

 

I've noticed a strange pattern in the kids movies, I wonder if you have, I don't even think it's patterns in kids movies, it's patterns in general. It seems like every single movie I see, the underlying message is "you gotta find your path in life and follow it and then everything will work out!" I gotta be honest. These movies get to me a little bit. I always have this moment in the movie where I'm like, "Oh my God, he's doing it. He's accomplishing his dream!" It touches you in an emotional way for a second but can't they come up with a different storyline, man? It's the same thing in every one. I don't know.

 

 

Anyways, that's not what grinds my gears. I'm not gonna shit on the movies. I actually liked both the movies. I think they're, there was not really a deep meaning in either of them, or a deep message or anything, but they were nice. They were fun. They were entertaining.

 

 

My problem is the movie theater. I think I'm becoming way more anal about this now that I'm older and I work full time and I have less free time, but the movie theater in Canada is not a cheap place. I'm gonna go with my wife and my daughter. We each get tickets. My ticket is like 11 or 12 dollars, I think. Then, if we're getting the 3D movie, which now most of the movies are 3D movies, they're gonna tack on I think like an extra 3 bucks per ticket. Basically, I'm paying for four tickets. What really grinds my gears about this is that the 3D movies themselves are complete bullshit. There are no 3D effects in these movies. I don't know if you've noticed this, but maybe in the beginning they put like one or there's nothing at all. What they do is they just, if you don't have the glasses on, the movie is just slightly out of focus. Basically you're paying the 3D price to get a normal movie.

 

 

That really grinds my gears because I remember the first time I saw a 3D movie was like, I think it was about 10 years ago with my friend and we saw the, what was it? What's that TV show where those guys always do stupid things and hurt themselves? Oh no, I can't remember. Hold on, I'm gonna find it. Gimme a second. Gonna look it up online. This is the benefit of doing a podcast while I'm at my computer. Jackass, yeah, it was the Jackass movie. It was the Jackass movie. It was awesome. The 3D effects were awesome. It was totally worth the extra money. All these other movies are complete bullshit. There's no 3D effects, they're just juicing us. They're just charging us the 3D effect and they're not giving you the extra movie, the extra effects. That's one thing that grinds my gears.

 

 

Here's the other thing that grinds my gears about movie theaters is the previews. Man, the previews are so annoying. You go to pay for a movie, and the movie says it's gonna start at 3:20 but then you've gotta sit through 30 to 45 minutes of previews. Doesn't that piss you off? I know some people like the previews. Every once in a while there's a preview there that is interesting to you, but here's the thing, 90 percent of movies are garbage. 90 percent of the previews, even if you think they're good, those movies are gonna be garbage. You're paying to see a movie you want to see and then they're just saying, "Well, you can see the movie, but before that, look at all this crap." I don't know. I find that's kind of disrespectful. I think we're just used to it. I think most of you out there are like, "the previews are good, I like the previews".

 

 

Think about this, let's imagine this in another situation. Let's imagine you went to a restaurant, okay. You go out with your boyfriend, your girlfriend, your husband, your wife, your family, a friend, whatever. You go to a restaurant. You sit down, they bring you the menu, you order your meal, you wait 15, 20, 30 minutes, however long it usually takes. Then, before they bring you your meal, they bring you food that they don't serve at the restaurant. They just show it to you and they tell you about it and they talk about it for about 5 or 10 minutes and then they take it away. Isn't that fuckin' retarded? Wouldn't you be pissed off? You'd be like, "No, just give me the food I ordered. That's why I came here. I didn't come here to see this other food. It's a Thai restaurant. I wanted Thai food. Why are you showing me Indian food before I eat my Thai food." You want to see Star Wars. You came there to see Star Wars. Show me Star Wars, don't show me about some chick flick that's gonna happen two months down the road. That makes sense right? That's what grinds my gears about movie theaters. That's what pisses me off about movie theaters.

 

 

I hope if you guys are listening to this and you're gonna do the Uncensored English Café on Sunday morning, that this gives you an idea of something you can use. We're gonna have a great conversation, one hour long. One hour long with friends. We're gonna talk about what pisses us off, what grinds our gears. Think about a topic if you're coming and remember to go on iTunes and give us a review. Type in your thoughts, click it. You gotta do that before you do the Uncensored English Café.

 

 

I want to do one more example, one more example about how fuckin' stupid it is with these movie theaters. Let's imagine another scenario. Screw restaurants. Let's imagine you go clothes shopping. I hate clothes shopping already. I do it like once a year, max. Let's say you gotta go clothes shopping, you gotta go buy some new pants. You go, you find your pants. You try on your pants and you get them. You're going to the cash and you're about to pay. You're about to give the lady your card or the man your card, but they guy says, "Okay, before you want to pay, before we pay, before we just run this through, I just want to tell you about this great new fashion line we have coming out next month. Carol, can you come help me and show off the new skirt we're gonna be selling?" Then some woman comes and shows you all these clothes that you can't buy right now and you can buy in the future. You haven't asked about them but they're just gonna shove it in front of your face. That's what they're doing at movie theaters. I don't know. It pisses me off. It grinds my gears.

 

 

I think that's it guys. I'm gonna wrap this one up. We're gonna see you on Saturday. We're doing the storytelling challenge. That's gonna be fun. Don't forget about that. Sunday, if you're up for the Uncensored English Café, don't wait, there's only I think three more spots left, two of them are gone. Go on the group, join, RSVP it if you want to come and write that review for us on iTunes for Uncensored English Podcast. That's it, guys. We'll catch you on the next podcast of Uncensored English.

Jan 9, 2017

Today on Uncensored English we discuss things that grind our gears. Max the American is back on and we have a fun convo about all those silly inconveniences in life. Transcript available and don't forget to sign up for the Uncensored English Cafe on Sunday.

 

Keiran:

Hey Max, how's it going man?

 

Max:

Super good. How are you doing Keiran.

 

Keiran:

I'm doing good. I'm doing good. It's been a while since you were on the podcast. You were on here back in December, early December, I think you did the storytelling challenge with Pavel.

 

Max:

Yeah. Yeah, that was a lot of fun.

 

Keiran:

What have you been up to since then?

 

Max:

Since then I've gone on a trip. I'm in the United States right now. Mostly just continuing working. I guess everybody just has to work all the time. Besides that, having a trip home right now. It's pretty fun.

 

Keiran:

Basically, same shit, different day, but you're at home instead of in Montreal.

 

Max:

Yes sir.

 

Keiran:

All right, nice. Okay, so today I'm excited to have you back on the podcast helping me. You said you were going to help me do a podcast this morning and that got delayed.

 

Max:

Got delayed a lot. Got delayed a lot.

 

Keiran:

Got delayed a a lot, yeah.

 

Max:

Yeah, yeah.

 

Keiran:

First it was your fault.

 

Max:

I needed ... For my meeting. I had a meeting to do.

 

Keiran:

Yeah, you had a legitimate reason.

 

Max:

Yeah, I'm very important.

 

Keiran:

Right, and then it was my fault.

 

Max:

What was your reason?

 

Keiran:

My reason was I was too tired because I was emotionally drained from being angry that I was experiences technical difficulties with my podcast.

 

Max:

Right, right. It wasn't uploading your actual podcasts.

 

Keiran:

Well, I uploaded it. It just didn't display it on the iTunes news feeds and that's really bad for me because then people won't find my podcasts and people who are listening won't find it. That brings us to our topic for the today, which is it pisses me off. It really pissed me off.

 

Max:

Yep, pisses me off.

 

Keiran:

I could also say, we could also say ... What's another idiom for something that frustrates you?

 

Max:

Grinds my gears.

 

Keiran:

Grinds your ... What grinds your gears man?

 

Max:

Oh man, needy bosses, controlling bosses grinds my gears. I'm pretty sure I've complained about bosses before so people will remember maybe.

 

Keiran:

Was that grinding your gears this morning when you had your meeting?

 

Max:

A bit, because I woke up at 8:00 for a meeting and there was somebody else in there doing it already and I was like, why would you put both of us here? Only one of us had to be here. One of us could've slept until 9:00, like a lazy bastard like I am, but no, I was awake. I was awake.

 

Keiran:

You know what also grinds my gears is that you have to wake up at 8:00 for a morning meeting.

 

Max:

Oh yeah. It used to be 7:30, had to be at the office already.

 

Keiran:

Yeah.

 

Max:

I smartened up and started calling while I was commuting. That's a smart trick. All you guys can use that, all the listeners. Call into your meeting with your personal cell phone. It's worth the minutes.

 

Keiran:

So what's your call? You just say, "Oh sorry, I'm in the car. There's traffic. Don't worry, I'll be there in a few minutes." Then you boss is like, "Max, you're grinding my gears. Why are you always late?"

 

Max:

Hahaha "You grind my gears so much you're fired. You're fired." I don't know. They just hear this though, whenever I unmute my phone in the bus, all they hear is brrrrrrrrrr from the bus engine going off in the back.

 

Keiran:

Right, yeah. Oh man Max.

 

Max:

Oh Keiran, what what what pisses you off besides your tech?

 

Keiran:

Well, I think what pisses me off is when there's a technical problem that I can't solve. That really grinds my gears or that pisses me off. When it's my problem and I've caused it I'm not upset because I'm like, "You know what? I'm the cause. I can resolve it.", but if I've paid money for a podcasting service and my podcast, I've created it, I've edited it, I've uploaded it, I made it all nice and pretty and I put a thumbnail for the picture and everything and I upload it and nothing happens to it, that really fucking pisses me off or grinds my gears.

 

Max:

Right. When it's something that you're paying for up front?

 

Keiran:

Yeah.

 

Max:

You're mad that it's not doing what it should be?

 

Keiran:

Yeah, exactly. It's frustrating because all these companies now online, there's no one to contact.

 

Max:

Oh.

 

Keiran:

Whenever you have a problem you just sent a help email and then they'll get back to you in 24 hours.

 

Max:

You can't call? You can't call and be like, "Hey, let's fix this right now."

 

Keiran:

Yeah, there's no contact number because they don't want to pay people and a call center to talk to you, you know?

 

Max:

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, it's also hard to hire. A lot of people get pissed off working in a call center.

 

Keiran:

Right. Yeah, exactly. Call centers are terrible jobs. I've done those. You don't want to work in a call center.

 

Max:

I never did it but I heard stories.

 

Keiran:

Is pisses me off and grinds my gears, are those completely interchangeable in your mind?

 

Max:

This pisses ... Yeah, totally. This pisses me off is like saying ... Well, one's stronger but they have the same general idea.

 

Keiran:

Which is stronger? For the listeners out there.

 

Max:

It pisses me off is way stronger.

 

Keiran:

Yeah, it is very strong. That makes me very, very angry, extremely angry, right?

 

Max:

Yeah, yeah.

 

Keiran:

Like when we were ...

 

Max:

It's almost ... Yeah?

 

Keiran:

Go ahead.

 

Max:

It's almost like the equivalent of Caps Lock online. It's a jump.

 

Keiran:

Oh yeah, when people write messages all in caps. That grinds my gears. I'm like, "Really? Do you need to yell your point online? No one can hear." I have a friend who everything he writes is in caps.

 

Max:

Oh no.

 

Keiran:

He's the only exception because he just speaks loudly. I think he's actually transferred his personality over online really well, you know?

 

Max:

Gosh, it's kind of like how a dog would type online. "HEY!", all in capital letters.

 

Keiran:

What pisses you off man? What's grinding your gears in your life right now, besides your early morning meetings?

 

Max:

What else makes me upset? It's hard to travel. Ticket prices are really high. If you want to travel somewhere even close by, if you're not a few months in advance, it's still going to cost you several hundred dollars.

 

Keiran:

Yeah, you know what? It's not that it's hard to travel. It's just that you live in the wrong place.

 

Max:

Oh, what do you mean?

 

Keiran:

If you were in Europe you could get a flight ticket to almost anywhere for under a hundred bucks, but you're in the US, Canada. There's just nowhere you can go without paying $500, $600 for a round trip.

 

Max:

No, I agree, and it pisses me off that that's the situation that I'm in. I agree that it's easier and cheaper to travel elsewhere, but it still sucks.

 

Keiran:

Is there anything that grinds your gears about your family?

 

Max:

I'm staying at their house right now, so no. Everything is perfect. I love them all.

 

Keiran:

Really?

 

Max:

No, okay, I got one. I got one. I do love my family.

 

Keiran:

Come on man, vent. Vent for the people.

 

Max:

It pisses me off when we're all watching our own Netflix and then it slows down and stops. It's just like, "Stop watching TV!" You go and talk to each other and try to stop the bandwidth from being all used up.

 

Keiran:

Yeah. Yeah, I know what you're talking about. That used to happen during my Skype sessions with my students during the summer.

 

Max:

Oh no.

 

Keiran:

My wife would be not at school and she'd just be like watching YouTube videos and I'm like, "Baby, I'm teaching. Stop it."

 

Max:

"You're messing up work."

 

Keiran:

Yeah, and she had to stop, and that grinded her gears but, well, my gears are more important than hers in this situation.

 

Max:

If your gears are making money at the time, yeah.

 

Keiran:

And hers are not, yeah exactly.

 

Max:

Did you buy her a book? It costs less bandwidth.

 

Keiran:

No, she's got books. She doesn't need a new book man. No, you know what really grinds my gears man? In my family we have family dinners.

 

Max:

Yeah.

 

Keiran:

They're not obligatory but they happen every night, which is excessive to me.

 

Max:

That is excessive.

 

Keiran:

Yeah, and every dinner's the same dinner. My mom and my dad sit down and my mom's like, "How was work Kevin?", and then my dad's like, "Ugh, everything's going terribly.", and then my mom's like, "Well, you have to change your life. You got to stop working so much." My dad's like, "Ugh, oh Kathy you don't understand." I'm just sort of like, "Ugh, you've had this conversation at least 20 times man."

 

Max:

Oh my God. Invite me for dinner. I want to hear it.

 

Keiran:

That pisses me off. I'm just like, "No, I can't sit through this again."

 

Max:

That's awesome. That's so funny.

 

Keiran:

What about you? You don't have any family drama man that grinds your gears? From all your pictures on Facebook you seem like a very together, lovey-dovey family.

 

Max:

Yeah, it's pretty okay. I don't know, maybe when I was younger. I got more patient now. My sister texted me the other day and it was a question. She didn't write out the question but she was asking me if I was going to be ready for 5:00 so we could go to a bar. She wrote me a question and I was like, "Yes." All she wrote to me was, "Well?", and I answered, "Yes." Then she wrote long form, "Are you going to be ready for the dinner or the bar? That's what I was asking?" I was like, "If you want a complete sentence answer, write a complete sentence question. I answered you with the same amount of words that you sent me. Why am I going to have to type all the words of the sentence and you don't have to? Why do you get to be lazy?"

 

Keiran:

Yeah, that's funny.

 

Max:

I was mad.

 

Keiran:

Yeah, that's just reciprocation man. You're just giving her what she gave you. That's fine.

 

Max:

My back was bristling. If I had hair that could spike up, my neck would've been pointy. I could feel the warmth and the prickles, and like I'm going to punch a brick wall. It was one of those really weird rage moments.

 

Keiran:

That's hilarious man. All right. Well Max, thanks for coming on the podcast and helping us talk about what grinds our gears.

 

Max:

Thanks for having me, happy to be here.

 

Keiran:

Let's just go over it one more time. It grinds my gears means ...

 

Max:

It means that it upsets me. I thought you were going to say it. It means that it upsets me.

 

Keiran:

It grinds my gears when I ask questions and nobody answers.

 

Max:

It grinds my gears when Keiran is unclear about who is supposed to answer his question, himself or me.

 

Keiran:

Yeah right.

 

Max:

It grinds my gears, yeah. It grinds my gears is you're frustrated and a little bit angry about something happening in your life.

 

Keiran:

Yeah, and then pissed off is just two notches higher. It's a stronger way to say something really angers you, right?

 

Max:

Yeah, it's like grinds my gears is frustrated and angry and pissed off is angry and angry, even more.

 

Keiran:

Right, exactly. All right. Max, thanks. Thanks so much for coming on again man and helping us out.

 

Max:

Thanks bud.

 

Keiran:

All right. You guys didn't see that. He just did some weird bow. All right.

 

Max:

Yeah.

 

Keiran:

I'll talk to you soon dude.

 

Max:

Bye Keiran.

 

Keiran:

Chow.

Jan 7, 2017

Today on Uncensored English we talk about how I beat out all the smart kids on a Spanish book report, we also discuss the story telling challenge #3, a useful expression and more!

Jan 5, 2017

Do you want to become more fluent? You realize you got to constantly challenge yourself then right? No worries, we're doing the Story telling challenge again soon. On this podcast Yasuyo joins David Peachey and I to challenge her English. Join our newsletter if you want to participate in the next one!

Japanese Firefighters Click Here 

***Transcript*** 

Keiran Watters:

Okay, hey everyone, how's it going? Today we have on Uncensored English the third winner from the story telling challenge number 2 back on the podcast. How's it going Yasuyo?

 

Yasuyo:

Great, thank you.

 

Keiran Watters:

Good, great and we also have one of our regular guests who's been on the podcast quite frequently, David Peachy. How you doing David?

 

David Peachy:

Hey, Keiran it's great to be back! How you doing?

 

Keiran Watters:

Good, I'm doing good, thank you. So what we're going to do today is we're going to give Yasuyo a topic that's relevant to her life. She doesn't know what it is yet so this is kind of a challenge for her and she's going to explain it to you David.

 

David Peachy:

Okay.

 

Keiran Watters:

And then we're just going to have a conversation about this crazy topic that we're going to talk about.

 

David Peachy:

I can't wait.

 

Keiran Watters:

All right, great. So Yasuyo, I'm going to send you a message and you're going to open up this website and you're going to have to describe to David what you see in the pictures on this website, okay?

 

Yasuyo:

Mm-hmm  okay, I see.

 

Keiran Watters:

And for the people who are listening I'm going to put the link in the description so you guys can look at this while Yasuyo's describing it.

 

Yasuyo:

Yeah.

 

Keiran Watters:

Okay, did you get that over there Yasuyo?

 

Yasuyo:

Oh okay. Yeah.

 

Keiran Watters:

Okay, so David does not have this link so you have to describe it to him. This is the challenge for you.

 

David Peachy:

I know absolutely nothing, everyone else knows what's happening, not me. Okay.

 

Yasuyo:

Ah yes, I see. Now ... so this is a news website of and ... it's described the traditional performance in Japan ...

 

David Peachy:

Okay

 

Yasuyo:

And so there are several men wearing work wear and climb up to the ladders and they dance on the top of the ladders.

 

David Peachy:

Right, okay tell me more.

 

Yasuyo:

So this is the Japanese traditional performance which is hold, which is held by the traditional fireman, firework man.

 

David Peachy:

Mm-hmm (affirmative)

 

Yasuyo:

And so they are their volunteers in Edo period. It is from 17th centuries to 19 centuries and they're a kind of so carpenters and they works as a volunteer in big fire and they and they gathered and go to extinguish fire.

 

Keiran Watters:

Okay Yasuyo I'm just going to stop you for a second. I want to ask David, David what's the image that you have in your head from what Yasuyo's described to you?

 

David Peachy:

This is interesting because I was thinking of modern workers and then I hear seventeen hundred workers so this has put a really image in my head. Is it something like Burning Man? No?

 

Keiran Watters:

Burning Man, well what's Burning Man? I'm not sure Yasuyo's aware of what Burning Man is?

 

David Peachy:

Okay, Burning Man is a new festival. They build a large wooden structure in the shape of a man and they burn it. Of course many other things happen. It's a music and arts and cultural festival, but the culmination, the ending is a big wooden human figure on fire, thus Burning Man.

 

Keiran Watters:

Okay. Is that what it looks like, Yasuyo, to you? Is it a big wooden structure on fire?

 

Yasuyo:

No, no.

 

David Peachy:

There's a fire?

 

Yasuyo:

No, so nowadays it's not ... They perform without any fire.

 

David Peachy:

Oh okay.

 

Keiran Watters:

So Yasuyo, can you just re-describe the images in the article that you see at the top? We want to see if we can get Dave to understand the images that we're seeing.

 

Yasuyo:

Yes.

 

David Peachy:

So there's dancing on ladders, I got that much.

 

Yasuyo:

Yeah, pole dancing, Japanese style. Firefighters in 17th century dressed, balanced on sky high ladders in traditional show. This is a [crosstalk 00:05:30]

 

Keiran Watters:

Okay Yasuyo, you're reading ...

 

David Peachy:

I'm getting a better idea now. Okay, this sounds interesting.

 

Keiran Watters:

Okay, let's send David the pictures so he can follow what we're both looking at now.

 

David Peachy:

Great, so let's look. Okay unfortunately I can't see the picture, I'll just try to scroll down.

 

Keiran Watters:

The Australian government's blocking it there David?

 

David Peachy:

Yeah, they're already onto it, they're all over it. Nope, can't get it ... oh hang on, wait I see it!

 

 

Okay, loading loading, thank you Australian government. Pole dancing Japanese style, let's see it. Ah okay, so it's like a ... bamboo ladders and people in dress from a couple of centuries ago and wow, okay. Is it synchronized or is it choreographed, is it organized?

 

Yasuyo:

So they perform with a kind of a chant and so the other firefighters sing a chant and they perform one.

 

Keiran Watters:

Do they sing while they're on the ladders too?

 

Yasuyo:

I think the performers on the ladder, they don't sing. They dance acrobatic forms, acrobatic forms so it is very difficult to keep styles.

 

Keiran Watters:

Yeah, I think they're doing enough from these pictures. I don't think anyone can sing while upside down like 20 feet in the air.

 

David Peachy:

You said these are volunteer firefighters, is that right?

 

Yasuyo:

Yeah, yeah.

 

David Peachy:

Wow, okay. Extra skills.

 

Keiran Watters:

Do the Aussie firefighters do this, David?

 

David Peachy:

I think they should, I think it should become a thing in Australia and what time of year is this again. What month?

 

Yasuyo:

Uh usually this performance, uh is held in January at the end of New Year's Holidays Days.

 

David Peachy:

Okay, I'm asking because some of them have bare feet and their clothing looks a bit light so they must be freezing, I'm sure.

 

Yasuyo:

Yeah. So we call Dezome-shiki and it's the ceremony to start the New Year so it's usually January 5th or 6th every year.

 

David Peachy:

Can I ask is there some reasoning to prevent fires in the future or is there any like magical ...

 

Keiran Watters:

What's the significance of the event?

 

David Peachy:

Yeah

 

Yasuyo:

So [inaudible 00:09:23] So this performers are now ... The firefighters only keep the tradition and this is a show to preserve older tradition and Edo period so they usually in Asian people doesn't people didn't have a lot of water to extinguish fire and they climb up the rooftop and break down broke down houses.[crosstalk 00:10:36] So why they climb on the ladders ... So they prove their ability to climb up high places and to extinguish fire.

 

David Peachy:

Right, so the idea is not actually to put out the fire with water, to douse the fire, but they would knock down the building from like the house?

 

Yasuyo:

Knock down, knock down [crosstalk 00:11:15]

 

 

It is kind of the way of firefighting. So the patient way.

 

Keiran Watters:

Okay, so I'm understanding that now that is display of climbing up these high ladders and balancing on these ladders is kind of like a symbol of active through skill that was needed in the past. Is that right Yasuyo?

 

Yasuyo:

Yeah, so they want to preserve the traditional performance

 

David Peachy:

I see, mm-hmm (affirmative)

 

Yasuyo:

For every New Year's Day they perform so [inaudible 00:12:02] firefighters nowadays.

 

Keiran Watters:

Well this makes me glad I'm not a firefighter in Japan.

 

David Peachy:

Yeah, I couldn't do that. I don't have the fitness.

 

Keiran Watters:

David, before we wrap this podcast up is there anything you want to ask Yasuyo about this tradition or anything that wasn't clear from your end? How do you think Yasuyo did describing this event?

 

David Peachy:

I think it was pretty good once I understood that the ladders were vertical and not actually leaning against anything, then it made sense. Um so, can I ask the spectators, who are the people watching this event, do they understand the tradition and the significance as well?

 

Yasuyo:

So I think most of Japanese know who they are and what they do so we respect them. Such kind of they act such acrobatic performance.

 

David Peachy:

So it's more than just a show, it's a connection to the past. Wow.

 

Yasuyo:

Yeah.

 

Keiran Watters:

All right, great we're going to move on and wrap this up because we're running out of time, but I just want to say to all the people listening out there we gave Yasuyo a special challenge because I know Yasuyo on a personal basis and she is working towards being a tour guide in Japan so this is relevant to her life, but if you guys are listening and you want to come on and do a challenge similar to this in the future, don't be shy. Don't worry that it's going to be hard because challenging yourself is always fun and you can all notice it and Yasuyo did quite well today. I just want to thank you Yasuyo for coming on and doing this.

 

Yasuyo:

Thank you, Keiran.

 

David Peachy:

Thank you.

 

Keiran Watters:

And of course thank you David for helping us out too.

 

David Peachy:

Pleasure as always.

 

Yasuyo's Son:

Foreign Language. Japanese

 

Keiran Watters:

And thank yo Yasuyo's son who's in the background.

 

Yasuyo's Son:

Foreign Language. Japanese

 

Keiran Watters:

And we're going to catch you guys on the next podcast of Uncensored English.

Jan 2, 2017

 On today's first podcast of the New Year Anna is on and we discuss New Years resolutions, memories and past experiences. There's a full transcript available. If you find it useful please give us a review on Itunes. 

 

 

Keiran:

All right, today is the first podcast of the new years and we got Anna back on the podcast. How's it going, Anna?

 

Anna:

Hello, hello. Very well, thank you. How are you?

 

Keiran:

I'm doing good. I'm doing good. And uh we were just talking before we started, but new years is a time where a lot of people, they decide to make changes in their lives and they make resolutions. What are your feelings on that? Is that a popular thing in Australia? Are you one of the people who do that also?

 

Anna:

It's very popular in Australia. I think it popular in most of the Western world at the moment. Um I have a lot of friends who will resolve to lose weight or they'll decide to stop smoking, to quit smoking or something along those lines. Uh personally, I'm not a big fan of resolutions. As I mentioned to you briefly beforehand that I'm kind of a believer in willpower and muscle that we use regularly. I think like any muscle, the more we use it, the easier it is. And uh I don't know New years in the end, it's a good time to start on things, but at the same time it is just a date and I don't really see any reason to suddenly discover willpower on one day of the year. I think if it's there, it's there and if it's not, it's not and you need to work on it as a personal kind of thing.

 

Keiran:

Right, it's kind of like the Valentines Day of personal change, right?

 

Anna:

Yeah, that's a really good way of putting it. Yeah.

 

Keiran:

That's the thing I always had against Valentines Day. Valentines Day is silly because you should just enjoy the person you're with all throughout the year. But on Valentines Day everything gets jacked up. All the prices, everyone goes to the restaurants. I always tell my wife, "Let's just celebrate Valentines Day next week when no one else is celebrating it."

 

Anna:

Also, Valentines day ... I feel like Valentines Day is more about making people feel bad about themselves and about being single than it is necessarily about a true celebration of love.

 

Keiran:

Yeah, I don't know. I never felt bad about being single. I think there's certain people who do. I was watching comedy this weekend, and this one comedian who's like, "Oh, you know, I'm single and I'm lonely." I'm just like, "I am so jealous of your life. I would like to feel loneliness just once a year." It's a nice spice to throw in your life once in a while.

 

Anna:

Yeah, that's cool.

 

Keiran:

You appreciate [crosstalk 00:02:38]

 

Anna:

You know what they say, you don't know what you've got until it's gone.

 

Keiran:

Right.

 

Anna:

Maybe have a day or two where you've got nothing and then you go, "Oh, hang on, that's right I actually really love being with other people."

 

Keiran:

Right. Yeah I know.

Anna:

... Miss it.

 

Keiran:

My wife and daughter went to Mongolia about a year and a half ago for three months. After a month I was like, "I feel alone." You've got to not have something to appreciate it for a while, right?

 

Anna:

Absolutely.

 

Keiran:

All right, we're getting way off topic here.

 

Anna:

We do that. That's out thing.

 

Keiran:

That's okay. That's good. I like that. It's new years and I thought we could share a few new years stories. I think I'll go ahead and go first. For you guys listening over there, remember there's a transcript for this so if you want to follow along or you find we're talking too fast for you, well you can just go to the website and check it out.

 

 

And my story was when I was ... Oh my god, I think it's sixteen years ago. Holy shit. Time goes by fast.

 

Anna:

You're so old, Keiran.

 

Keiran:

Yeah, I know. I still look young, though.

 

Anna:

How do you handle the age creeping up on you?

 

Keiran:

I don't know. I'm not one of those people who worries about it. It was new years ... I always mix these two up. Not new years day, new years eve day. Right?

 

Anna:

Okay, yeah the day of new years eve.

 

Keiran:

Right, exactly.

 

Anna:

Okay, with you.

 

Keiran:

My parents, oddly, they went out for a new years party. They don't usually do that. My sisters were all gone to new years parties, too. My girlfriend at the time came over. My mom didn't trust me very well at that time, which is probably smart because I was a sixteen year old boy. She made plans with my friend and his father that they would drive us to a party. We were really excited because my girlfriend and I were alone in the house. We were going to, you know, do what sixteen year old kids do.

 

Anna:

What's that, Keiran?

 

Keiran:

Well, we were going to, you know, go all the way. Actually, I might have been fifteen. I don't know if it was sixteen, but it was my first time. Like, we had planned this. It was really exciting for both of us, obviously. And I don't know what time my mother left, but pretty much as soon as we left we ran up to the bedroom and we were starting, and then not too long after that my friend's father called because he was driving us to the party and we didn't answer the phone. He just kept calling and then the voicemail goes on and he's like, "Hello, are you guys okay? Hello? Why aren't you answering the phone? Hello!" I was just like, oh, this is the worst first experience of anything.

 

Anna:

Was this mid-deed?

 

Keiran:

Yeah, no, exactly. We were in the middle of it and we just had to hear my friend's dad be like, "Hello, Keiran, where are you? Answer the phone!" It was just a weird way to start ... It was a weird thing to experience before we went to the party. That just happens sometimes on new years, I guess.

 

Anna:

Yeah, sure. I feel like this is more of a first time story than a new years story.

 

Keiran:

Well, it did happen on new years so it is a ...

 

Anna:

Okay, fair enough. Yeah.

 

Keiran:

It was a first time new years story, I guess.

 

Anna:

Keiran, you know you can admit to me if the only reason you're doing this podcast is so you could tell that story, right?

 

Keiran:

No, it's part of the reason. It's probably about 50%.

 

Anna:

It's okay. It's a good story.

 

Keiran:

It was a fun night.

 

Anna:

So I mean were you scarred? Did you find every time after that you were just waiting for the phone to ring?

 

Keiran:

No, I wasn't scarred. It was just annoying. You're excited for something and then ... It's like when you go see a movie you're excited about but there's someone eating popcorn right behind your head. You're just like, "Oh, come on. I'm trying to enjoy the movie."

 

Anna:

Yeah, I mean my first time was similar except it's like going to a movie you're really excited to see and then the screen is just dark because it's so boring.

 

Keiran:

Yeah, that's funny.

 

Anna:

That's also not ... That wasn't a new years eve story.

 

Keiran:

That's okay. That's what you should expect in your first time in most things because it's your first time and it'll probably be bad, right?

 

Anna:

Yeah, but I was ready for all the horror stories and the pain. I was just like, "Oh, this is super boring." Afterwards, he'd had a great time and he was like, "Wow! How amazing!" And I was like, "Yeah. Uh huh, sure."

 

Keiran:

For you.

 

Anna:

I didn't know what to say. I was like, this cannot be all there is to it.

 

Keiran:

Yeah, that's the weird thing is that I think it's so dependent on your partner and I guess having chemistry.

 

Anna:

Also, we're going way off topic again, but also knowing what you like, I think. That's the other thing. You only really find out with a bit of time.

 

Keiran:

Right, and also you experience that through having different partners and things. In the beginning, you just don't know anything.

 

Anna:

Yeah.

 

Keiran:

I was like, "This is so weird. What am I doing." You know what you're doing, but you never know what something is until you experience it. My first time was just a wreck because of what happened with the phone.

 

Anna:

I mean, you've got a daughter so you obviously worked it out eventually.

 

Keiran:

Well, that doesn't mean ... This is the funny thing about having kids is that they always say that when you get married you have less sex. I think it's not that you're married, I think it's that people have kids and when you have kids they're just like, "Oh my god, I have no freedom now. I'm not going to do that activity anymore because I don't want it to get worse."

 

Anna:

I don't really have experience in that area, so I'll leave that insight up to you.

 

Keiran:

Okay, so we're completely off topic here. That's okay.

 

Anna:

It's what we do.

 

Keiran:

What about you? Do you have any new years memories that you recall that were fun?

 

Anna:

I mean, I mean most of my crazy stories just involve me getting naked in different places around the world.

 

Keiran:

Nice.

 

Anna:

I don't really ...

 

Keiran:

This is a new years tradition for Anna.

 

Anna:

I'm trying to think of which one's going to insult the least number of people. I think probably it would be just a standard pool party new years eve that I had with one of my ex-boyfriend's group of friends, I should say. And yeah we had a pool party. That one was weird for other reasons. We all got naked and went swimming and that was fun, but then the weird thing was that one guy in the group, he started ... This was a long time ago, by the way, before things got really crazy. He started talking about how he was a science student and how, if he wanted to, he could make bombs and how he had all these ingredients. It was quite weird.

 

Keiran:

Yeah, that's weird, right.

 

Anna:

That was the reason that memory sticks out to me is actually because he was such a weirdo rather than necessarily because I was naked which, as I said, I have a tendency to do at parties.

 

Keiran:

That's funny. Everyone's having a good time and people are naked and he's like, "Yeah, and I can make bombs. Let's go back to my place and mix some chemicals."

 

Anna:

You know, it was his place. That was why it was so creepy. We were all like, "Are we about to get blown up or something?" We were all kind of on edge after that. That was weird.

 

Keiran:

Was he one of those people who was just doing it just to kind of scare you guys a little and have fun or was he really off?

 

Anna:

I don't know. He was a bit of a weirdo. He and I never really got along, to be honest, because one time he kind of got up in my face and I slapped him because he was too close and I thought I felt threatened so I gave him a slap. Then he was like, "I'm going to call the police because you slapped me." I was like, "Go ahead. Call the police and I'll tell them about the bombs you were bragging about. Which one do you think they're going to be more concerned about?"

 

Keiran:

Those slaps are pretty dangerous, right.

 

Anna:

You know, um that same party, actually, there was an old friend of mine was there as well. He was really into the puppetry of the penis. Do you know this?

 

Keiran:

Yeah, yeah. Right, right.

 

Anna:

Where you manipulate it into different shapes and then you say, oh wow, this is ...

 

Keiran:

He's in to doing it or he was into the ...

 

Anna:

He would do it. The thing was he did it all the time. This was a thing. Whenever he had about two or three beers in him, it would be out.

 

Keiran:

It's a hot dog, look at it.

 

Anna:

No, his was the hamburger. He was very proud of the hamburger.

 

Keiran:

Yeah, I can imagine how you would do that, right.

 

Anna:

Yeah. Unfortunately I don't need to imagine it.

 

Keiran:

You've got the vivid visual imagery. You have like a photo back on one of your computers or something.

 

Anna:

Oh, it's right up here. It's in the memory banks. There you go.

 

Keiran:

Yeah, that's one of those funny things that happens when you're young and you're drunk, people get naked and do funny things. I remember one thing that people used to do which is funny was the guys would tuck all their junk between their legs, you know.

 

Anna:

Oh yes!

 

Keiran:

So it looks like they're a lady.

 

Anna:

Yeah. I'm convinced that the guys who do that and say they look like a lady have not seen a lady's parts.

 

Keiran:

I think they're just enthused to look like they're androgynous and or a eunuch or something.

 

Anna:

We're not like Barbie dolls, you know.

 

Keiran:

No, I know. Even Barbie dolls don't really look like ladies.

 

Anna:

Well yeah there's that. The Ken doll doesn't really look like a dude.

 

Keiran:

No, it doesn't. That's true. Okay, well this has been a really loose podcast about new years and more, I guess, about sex and being naked and doing silly things.

 

Anna:

Yeah, I think you're going to need to slap a nice big warning on this one.

 

Keiran:

That's fun. I think that's what people like. There's enough of the safe stuff out there.

 

Anna:

That's true enough.

 

Keiran:

Anna, thanks so much for having us back on the podcast. Having us back? This is my podcast.

 

Anna:

I'm back. You're Keiran, you're having me back on the podcast.

 

Keiran:

Yeah, thanks for coming back on the podcast again. Have a happy new year.

 

Anna:

Yeah, have a happy new year.

 

Keiran:

All right, bye bye.

 

Anna:

Bye.

Dec 31, 2016

In this episode we talk about how to say you're going going to sleep or you went to sleep with an idiom in English, what it means to be "rusty", and of course for some reason we also talk about self awareness in your profession. I also swear a lot on this episode and blab about comedy. 

Dec 29, 2016

 How can you ask for help without having to say "I need help". No worries, sometimes we don't want to say those words. In this podcast Edward and I discuss a useful idiom you can use to request assistance from others. Transcript is available for free where the transcripts are found. 

***Transcript *** 

Dec 26, 2016

 Today on Uncensored English Gabriel and I have an unscripted conversation about the news, is it worth listening to? Is it always depressing? Feel free to let us know in the comments section on the Facebook page. As always Monday's podcast has a transcript so sign up for our newsletter to get weekly updates about our free transcripts, language challenges and more! 

 

Keiran:

All right, what's up everybody? Today on Uncensored English, we have Gabriel back on the podcast. How is it going, Gabriel?

 

Gabe:

Yeah, pretty good. Feeling good, feeling fresh. Came back from the gym. Wooyeah! 

 

Keiran:

All right, pumping up like Arnold.

 

Gabe:

Yeah, yes.

 

Keiran:

What you do?

 

Gabe:

Okay. I went running. I was running. You go on the tread mill, you run, you run, and then after I warmed up I had toweled myself off a bit. And I did squats, deep squats. And then I did little bit of ... I did some dead lifts. It was nice. And then I did some leg curls. Then I didn't have a good workout yesterday, because I was kind of hung over, so I completed most of the workout I wasn't able to do yesterday. I did some shoulders. I did some fucking arms. And then I did some leg ... I exercised my body.

 

Keiran:

Wait. What's all this for, man? This is for you or this is for the ladies?

 

Gabe:

For me, man. I want to look in the mirror and be like, "Oh, yeah, you fucking look to you piece of shit. Dear God, you're hot."

 

Keiran:

All right, good. All right, anyways, lets move on, man. Gabriel and I, we're going to shoot the shit. We're going to talk about news today and if it's worth watching the news and something about that. Before we do that, we've got uh we got one response from the podcast we did on Russian stereotypes from a Russian person. We're going to just play it right now  so we can all hear it together. You, Gabriel, and I. Here we go.

 

Alex:

Hello, I'm Uncensored English listeners. Hi, Keiran, hi, Gabriel.  I'm Alex, the crazy scientist from Moscow.

Gabe: What a fucking nerd

Alex : After listening to all Gabriel perverted jokes in the 115 episode of Uncensored English I got an idea, to start a fundraising campaign to hire a prostitute for Gabriel, to make Gabriel great again. Bye.

 

Keiran:

All right, that guy got ya.

 

Gabe:

You said that was 74 minutes.

 

Keiran:

Well, it said 74 minutes, but it was only 20 seconds ...

 

Gabe:

A minute. It was only 20 seconds, yeah.

 

Keiran:

Yeah. Right. I don't know if we should hire Gabriel a prostitute, because I'm sure he already has one somewhere.

 

Gabe:

Ah excuse me. They're not called prostitutes. They're called masseuses.

 

Keiran:

Uhhhh man, Asian masseuses of the night?

 

Gabe:

No, I think I moved up to Latin American.

 

Keiran:

What? Is that like a, a price point higher or something?

 

Gabe:

It goes Asian, Latina, Black, and obviously White.

 

Keiran:

All right, that's an interesting scale of uh.

 

Gabe:

Oh, I'm sorry. It goes Russian, Asian, Latina, Black, then White.

 

Keiran:

All right. All right.

 

Gabe:

Yeah. It's not even ... Anyway, whatever. Yeah, thanks ... What's his name. Igor?

 

Keiran:

Alex. It's Alex, dude. You weren't even listening good.

 

Gabe:

Alex Kovalev. Yeah, suck it.

 

Keiran:

All right, anyways ...

 

Gabe:

Next question.

 

Keiran:

Alex, thanks for sending us that message. I think that you're probably right, but you probably don't know that Gabriel already spends money on this kind of stuff. So I don't know that he needs one, but good idea, though.

 

Gabe:

Yeah. Tell him ...nevermind. You know what?

 

Keiran:

Say it.

 

Gabe:

Thank you, Alex.

 

Keiran:

What were you going to say.

 

Gabe:

I hate this guy.

 

Keiran:

Why do you hate him. He responded to the podcast, man.

 

Gabe:

Yeah, he shouldn't have.

 

Keiran:

You're upset because he's making fun of you, or something?

 

Gabe:

Yeah. Who's he think he is, huh? He's a scientist? What is he a scientist of? Being fucking dumb?

 

Keiran:

All right.

 

Gabe:

All right, I'm just joking. Thank you, Alex. Send me an email, gabeomassi.com. Send me dick pics.

 

Keiran:

I don't know, man. What are you doing to do with Russian dick pics, man?

 

Gabe:

I'm going to send them to the police. Tell them he's sending me  underage boy dick pics.

 

Keiran:

Send them to Vladimir Putin. Send them right back.

 

Gabe:

Yeah. Yeah, put you up there in Siberia with the wolves.

 

Keiran:

All right. All right, let's move on here.

 

Gabe:

Yeah.

 

Keiran:

All right. Today we're going to talk about news. Is it bullshit? Is it worth looking at, or not?

 

Gabe:

Yeah, that's true.

 

Keiran:

I generally don't look at the news. I look at the sports. That's mainly all I look at, because the rest of it always seems depressing.

 

Gabe:

You get depressed by reading the news? I don't feel anything when I read the news. I go to this website called Reddit, and then they have this subsection called news, and I'm always looking for a fucking disaster, or something.

 

Keiran:

Well, that's it, man. I think I used to be like that. I used to not care about the news, and I be like every time you see some kind of terrorist thing, I would just think, "Oh, thank God, it's not here." It didn't bother me that much. But I have students in all these countries now.

 

Gabe:

Yeah.

 

Keiran:

I have Turkish students, and there's like a Turkish bombing the other day, and 50 people died, or something.

 

Gabe:

Oh, man, that's a lot of fucking people.

 

Keiran:

I don't know. It's different when you're connected to someone who's affected.

 

Gabe:

Yeah.

 

Keiran:

I mean, I still always thank like, "Thank God, it's not here," but it's always a matter of time before something shitty happens in Canada, too.

 

Gabe:

Yeah, that's true. I'm here on the website, first article, "Off-duty cop has 10 pints of beer, margarita at bar, before deadly, wrong-way crash." Yeah, fuck the police.

 

Keiran:

Right? Really, where was that? Where did that happen? In in the US?

 

Gabe:

Yeah. Four hours ago.

 

Keiran:

What kind of person drinks 10 pints and then a margarita? How do you finish your night with a margarita after 10 pints?

 

Gabe:

I think maybe it was he was on a date with a girl, he had a margarita, the girl obviously didn't like him and then left him, and then he had 10 pints of beer.

 

Keiran:

No, you said he had 10 pints and then he had a margarita.

 

Gabe:

I mean, I don't know. It's the headline of the article. It's not like giving you like... I don't know. It didn't say he had it all in order. It's probably ... I mean like you know, he maybe had some food. They didn't put that in the headline. Probably had a hotdog.

 

Keiran:

Yeah. So you don't do the news? You do any news, or just Reddit?

 

Gabe:

Yeah, I like the internet news. I go on certain websites. I don't like CNN or like Fox. It's too biased. CNN is very liberal, and Fox is too conservative.

 

Keiran:

You know what's weird, though? Whenever I go into those restaurants in Montreal, like Al-Tahib or any of uh these ethnic restaurants, they're always playing CNN. I don't get it. They're always playing it.

 

Gabe:

They're like the biggest, right? No, they might be the biggest.

 

Keiran:

They're the most blatantly ... Like you said, they're the most blatantly bias news shows ever.

 

Gabe:

Yeah.

 

Keiran:

It's so transparent, and it's just hard to even sit through it.

 

Gabe:

A lot of time, it's all like programming rather than news. It's like a TV show, so it's mostly entertainment, and it's fun to watch. I can watch like CNN, because it's just fun. There's all these colors, and what's his name, Wolf Blitzer looks like a fucking weirdo. He's all white, with his crazy beard, and he looks like a cartoon character.

 

Keiran:

Yeah.

 

Gabe:

It's fun. Like, I could watch that shit all day. When I'm America, when I'm visiting my grandmother in Florida, I can watch fucking CNN all day long. It's just so fun, because I'm like, "Oh, I'm American now." Like, I need to know.

 

Keiran:

But you're looking at it from the prospective of "This is dumb shit, and I'm laughing at it," right?

 

Gabe:

I'm looking at it ... I'm not laughing all the time, but I'm like ... Okay, in 2000-whatever-it-was, remember the Boxing Day tsunami, in what's it called, Thailand?

 

Keiran:

That must have been a while ago, right?

 

Gabe:

It was like in 2005, 2006. I was in Florida for that, and man I didn't have CNN at my home, because we were all poor, but my grandmother had TV, all these channels. It was the first time I had access to 24-hour news, so I was just watching TV all day long you know. Then, before that, the only time I was ever watching the news for that long period of time was 9/11. I remember when I was 11 years old, and it was on TV, non-stop. Like, they stopped every channel. ABC, NBC was just 9/11 news, and then they showed Bush declared war, and it was just basically 24-hour news on the war.

 

Keiran:

Yeah.

 

Gabe:

It was so interesting, man. I was freaking out. It made me all paranoid and shit, fucked me up now.

 

Keiran:

Yeah. Well, that's the kind of garbage that we see on the news, right? I mean, this stuff happens all the time, but you only hear about it when it happens to North America, on our news.

 

Gabe:

Yeah.

 

Keiran:

Like, you never hear about all the other shit. Did you hear about the airplane that went down in Brazil?

 

Gabe:

Today?

 

Keiran:

No, last week?

 

Gabe:

No.

 

Keiran:

There's an airplane that crashed, and it had like a whole soccer team on it, and they were going to the finals.

 

Gabe:

What? Renal Dino?

 

Keiran:

No, I don't think it was that.

 

Gabe:

I think that's Spanish.

 

Keiran:

But they're going to the finals in Columbia, or something.

 

Gabe:

Jeez.

 

Keiran:

Everybody died except for six people, and the plane crashed because the pilot didn't fill up.

 

Gabe:

Oh, what a fucking dummy, man.

 

Keiran:

I know. Like, if the plane crashes because of, I don't know, a storm or something you can't control, that's sad. But the plane crashed because the guy didn't fill up? That's just pathetic, man.

 

Gabe:

Yeah.

 

Keiran:

It's such a stupid tragedy.

 

Gabe:

Maybe isn't the airport supposed to fill up. It's not the airplane is going to a gas station. He's going to an airport, right?

 

Keiran:

Yeah. I don't know. I mean, I imagine. But it maybe a private ... This is a private plane, right? Because it's a team plane. So maybe there's different protocols, or something. I don't know.

 

Gabe:

Got it.

 

Keiran:

I guess, news is always depressing. When do you look at the news and it's like something good?

 

Gabe:

Fuck, man. Let me see. Let me find something now.

 

Keiran:

Unless it's sports.

 

Gabe:

Oh, this one's good. "Firefighter eating at restaurant notices carbon monoxide symptoms, saves 32 people."

 

Keiran:

Is that in the US?

 

Gabe:

Yeah, this is all US news.

 

Keiran:

So the moral of this story is trust firefighters, not policemen.

 

Gabe:

Yeah, yeah. Look at that. He noticed it. He was like, "Hey, wait a minute. Everyone's throwing up," and he saves everyone.

 

Keiran:

I wonder what's the, what happens to a kid in his life that makes him become a firefighter rather than a policeman? Because a policeman is just a thief for the government, right?

 

Gabe:

I don't know. I mean like I feel like firefighters are inherently lazy people, you know?

 

Keiran:

Yeah. "I don't want to work all month, but when I do have to work, I'll risk my life and run into a burning building."

 

Gabe:

Yeah. It's worth it. You're like, "Man, I get paid to fucking play Nintendo and lift weights." It's basically my life, without the fire. You know?

 

Keiran:

Right, it is pretty much the same as your life. Right.

 

Gabe:

Yeah. Except I'm a fucking uh comedy fighter.

 

Keiran:

That was lame.

 

Gabe:

Whatever. See, I'm not good at comedy.

 

Keiran:

It's really lame. Ah yeah yeah except that they work every two weeks and you work every weekend.

 

Gabe:

Yeah. Oh, man, yeah.

 

Keiran:

Basically, my conclusion on news is that news is depressing and probably pretty useless, most of the time. What do you think?

 

Gabe:

I mean, I'll wake up every morning and go on whatever website really quick, just to see. I mean, we just, at this point, we have so much access to information that like you can just look at it and it just doesn't even register completely. I does depress me, it doesn't to anything to me. I just read it, and I'm like, "Oh, yes, more please. More information." Then I go to video game news, and I'm like, "Oh, yeah, I love video games." Then movies, RottenTomatoes.com, look up movie reviews, and I dunno then celebrity gossip. "Oh, the Kardashians. Ooooo." No, I don't know.

 

Keiran:

That sounds fun, because then you can just judge them, right?

 

Gabe:

I mean, they're not doing anything anymore. They're not like fucking up at all.

 

Keiran:

It's just like they went to a restaurant and then they ordered some soup.

 

Gabe:

Yeah. Yeah, they like soup. Yeah, I don't know. Whatever.

 

Keiran:

All right ...

 

Gabe:

Oh, yeah. I wanted to say I was on Facebook, and I saw I was about to call him George Washington, fuckin Denzel Washington, he was talking to I don't know who, some fucking person with a microphone, and he was talking about the news. He said this, he said this quote, "If you read the news, no if don't read the news, you're uninformed, but if you read the news, you're ... " Did you capture that burp in my throat?

 

Keiran:

Yeah, it was really gross, that gurgling sound. It's pretty disgusting.

 

Gabe:

Let me take that back. "If you don't read the news, you're uninformed, but if you read the news, you're misinformed." So that's my statement of the day, his statement.

 

Keiran:

All right, you're paraphrasing him.

 

Gabe:

Yeah.

 

Keiran:

It's pretty accurate, though.

 

Gabe:

Yeah.

 

Keiran:

It's a little the same thing, I remember Will Smith said something like, he said like, "I vote so I can complain" And that's the wrong thing. The thing is I don't vote so I complain.

 

Gabe:

Yeah, yeah.

 

Keiran:

If you voted, then you put them in, so you can complain.

 

Gabe:

Yeah. Then again ...

 

Keiran:

But, I guess, everyone has their stupid moments, right?

 

Gabe:

Yeah. Then again, I get all my news from super rich black superstars.

 

Keiran:

Yeah, black men with more money than you'll ever have.

 

Gabe:

Yeah. I get it. I'm like, "Yes, what else? I need more news, Denzel."

 

Keiran:

I think you should trust your news from Chris Rock over Will Smith or Denzel.

 

Gabe:

Oh, Chris Rock? He's a smart guy, no?

 

Keiran:

Yeah, that's what I'm saying. I mean, Will Smith, I don't know I don't like the stuff he produces. Denzel, I don't watch anything he produces, man. He just like your Hollywood Dreamboat for Women.

 

Gabe:

He's 64 years old. he's an old man now.

 

Keiran:

So women like the older dudes. You should know that, man.

 

Gabe:

Not that much. I don't know. Whatever. He's a good actor. He looks pretty young, still. You know? He's always chewing gum.

 

Keiran:

Exactly. You just said it yourself.

 

Gabe:

Yeah, all right.

 

Keiran:

All right. We're going to wrap this up, guys. I hope you liked hearing me and Gabriel shoot the shit about news. Uh thank you, Alex, for insulting Gabriel. It was very funny.

 

Gabe:

Yeah, fuck you.

 

Keiran:

Guys, if you haven't subscribed to the page on UncensoredEnglish.ca, or on the Facebook page, so you can get free transcripts emailed to you, and you can find out about our next storytelling challenge and our live lessons, which are going to be happening soon on Facebook. We'll catch you on the next episode of Uncensored English.

Dec 24, 2016

A lot of people think they need to speak to people to improve their English, obviously this helps. But it's not the only way. Today in the podcast we speak briefly about video logs, we go for a walk around my neighbourhood, and I read you one of my favourite holiday season stories. The video is available on the youtube channel.  

 

*** Video available on Youtube Channel***

 

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCgO0VCOAOVtj0X8X48oFhHw

 

 

Dec 20, 2016

How can you say something is gaining momentum? Today we share a great idiom exactly for that purpose. Also we laugh at ourselves and the ridiculous car accident that happened in Montreal last week. 

 *** Transcript*** 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HfDZixZFzms  <-- Accident video

 

 

Keiran:

All right, what's up everybody? Today on the podcast we have one of the other famous Canadians back on here with us. How's it going Edward?

 

Edward:

It's going well, it's good to be famous.

 

Keiran:

Yes it is good to be famous, I wish I had a little more of that uh financial fame though.

 

Edward:

No, no, the notoriety, just the, just the fame in terms of no money attached to it, that's where it's at.

 

Keiran:

That's what you're going for.

 

Edward:

That's what I'm going for, yeah.

 

Keiran:

Well, we were going to do a video podcast today but Edward is a little bit embarrassed because my beard is more glorious than his.

 

Edward:

Sounds right.

 

Keiran:

So unfortunately, we're just going to do an audio one today. But O got um, one of my students sent me this video, I didn't hear about this until he sent it to me, and it's a pretty funny video. And uh, you've seen the video, right?

 

Edward:

I watched the video yesterday. I had actually talked to students about it during the week, describing it, because I'd read a headline about it and I'd read a little article about it. I described it to my students without having watched it, and I finally watched it yesterday, and it lived up to the description. It was even more ridiculous that I thought it would be.

 

Keiran:

Yeah yeah, you're right, and a few weeks we did a podcast on Russians and we made of Russians for Russian stereotypes, so you know why not laugh, let's laugh at ourselves today?

 

Edward:

It was embarrassing, it's definitely embarrassing, and once we've described it I think people will see why it's an embarrassment for Montreal. Not for Canada as a whole, I think the city of Montreal comes out looking really badly.

 

Keiran:

Right, like I think if this was Vancouver and they had a snowstorm in Vancouver- okay, we've got to describe what the video is a little bit. We're going to watch the video, we're going to describe it to you guys, but basically what the video is is there was a mild, I would call it a mild snowstorm. I wouldn't even call it a snowstorm. I would say there was a heavy snowfall in Montreal, and the next day there was a series of comical car collisions because of it, 

 

Edward:

involving city vehicles. Which, it makes it especially enjoyable or embarrassing depending on what side you're on I guess. But yeah, they just did not do a very good job at all of clearing the road or of salting the road, or of putting sand down, or gravel.

 

Keiran:

Or anything.

 

Edward:

And they paid the price. City vehicles paid the price. In the end though, taxpayers will have to pay for the repairs.

Keiran:

Yeah, that means us.

 

 

 

Edward:

We still pay the price, yes.

Edward:

But it's funny to watch I guess.

 

Definitely, maybe that's priceless.

 

Keiran:

The reason why this is so embarrassing for us as Montrealers, is because we are a city that handles snow removal generally very well, right?

 

Edward:

We have to.

 

 

I mean, every year winter comes and we have to put millions of dollars towards removing the snow so that the city can still function, so this is embarrassing.

 

Keiran:

It's very embarrassing, but you know if you're in another part of Canada like Vancouver, in Vancouver if there's one centimeter of snow-

 

Edward:

Which there is like right now.

 

Keiran:

Really?

 

Edward:

Yeah, the last week there have been stories about, kind of similar things happening in Vancouver, but it's understandable. In Vancouver they're not prepared for-

 

Keiran:

No, they never get snow. They don't even need winter tires there.

 

Edward:

That's the problem. People don't have winter tires, so now that there is a little bit of snow they're sliding around like crazy.

 

Keiran:

So guys, what we're going to do is we're going to play the video and then I guess, you want to the narration for the video?

 

Edward:

Sure, it's just it's a minute and 47 seconds, if people want to watch this video they can find it on Youtube. If they search for icy road in Montreal it should be one of the first videos that pop up.

 

Keiran:

Right, and I'm going to put the link in the description anyways, in the podcast description.

 

Edward:

There you go.

 

Keiran:

So, here we go. This narration is brought to you by Edward, and do you want to plug your podcast?

 

Edward:

Sure. You've probably heard my voice before on this podcast, but I do have Edwards ESL Edge podcast as well, and you can find that on Itunes, on Soundcloud, anywhere in the world.

 

Keiran:

So, if you're a first time listener to the podcast, you can also check out Edwards after this. All right, so let's watch the video and Edwards going to narrate things for you.

 

Edward:

Okay, so right now a city bus is sliding quite quickly down- oh. Just slammed into a bunch of parked cars, and they are all sliding into an intersection. Pretty good so far. Now, a taxi driver has done a heroic spin maneuver to avoid the bus. Fast forward to, looks like a worker in his truck, pick-up truck, has just slammed into the bus.

 

Keiran:

The ladder really flew out there a little bit.

 

Edward:

Now, there's another city bus coming, it's picking up steam. I wonder, I mean-

 

Keiran:

It's so stupid.

 

Edward:

You probably have a full busload of people. This street is, it's downhill, so once they start sliding on the ice there's no stopping, and now the bus is really-

 

Keiran:

Yeah, it's picking up speed.

 

Edward:

Just smashed into that work truck. It looked like something went into the windshield even. Now, the work truck is being pushed into the middle of the road, and oh boy.

 

Keiran:

I think this is the best part right here.

 

Edward:

Now, there's a police cruiser that has just spun around and is going down the hill backwards, and is completely out of control. Not going very fast, but-

 

Keiran:

He's got his lights on, too. Making him look like more of an idiot.

 

Edward:

Yeah, sirens are going off, and it just connected with the bus. This is the best though, this is a snowplow. The job of the snowplow is to clear the street, and it is sliding down the street.

 

Keiran:

You know, he's even salting the road as he goes.

 

Edward:

That's dedication. He is about to smash into the police cruiser.

 

Keiran:

And boom.

 

Edward:

The shovel on the front, like the plow on the front of the truck, really gets under the police cruiser and lifts it a couple of feet off the ground.

 

Keiran:

That was a great video.

 

Edward:

Yes, I've seen two versions of this now. I saw, there's a seven minute version of people at work watching from their office window and describing everything. It really is chaos.

 

Keiran:

We got to thank, a big shout out to Alex for sending me this video, and he was laughing at me and making fun of me during the class. Alex is one of my students. I was all up for it, man, because you know what when you look like an idiot, you've got to just laugh at yourself and enjoy the moment, and-

 

Edward:

It's easier when you can laugh as well.

 

Keiran:

It wasn't really me that did this. This is the thing about being Canadian, is like I don't associate myself with Canada, like I'm not a proud Canadian.

 

Edward:

You're not very patriotic?

 

Keiran:

No, I'm not patriotic at all. I enjoy living here, because it's a safe, fair, as fair as a country can be I think.

 

Edward:

It's a very good place to live.

 

Keiran:

Right, it's a good place to live.

 

Edward:

I don't know if there are any perfect places to live, but you know Canada is a very good place to live. Can I tell you yesterday, I- well I came back to Montreal from Toronto two days ago, and in Toronto there's no snow. Right now there is no snow on the ground at all. Actually, last time I was in Montreal I put my snow tires on my car, and then I drove back to Toronto and like I said no snow on the ground. So, yesterday was my first time actually driving in the snow this winter, and I went right through an intersection.

 

Keiran:

Nice.

 

Edward:

I was only going about 15 kilometers an hour, but-

 

Keiran:

You couldn't stop in time.

 

Edward:

Yeah, and even the ABS brakes were shaking, the car was just completely frozen in place, but sliding along the ice. Luckily nobody was in front of me and luckily, I mean it was a very small road so that's why they hadn't salted it I guess, but yeah it was a nice wake up call.

 

Keiran:

That's a fun part about the winter though, I like you, you got to change your driving style and sometimes you get the slippery roads and you get the ABS coming on.

 

Edward:

You need to have that experience like once in the winter to get you into winter driving mode, because after that I was like, "Okay, oh I have to start stopping, I have to start stopping 200 meters before the stop sign." Because otherwise, even if you're only going 15 kilometers an hour you're still potentially going to slide through the intersection.

 

Keiran:

All right guys, I think we're going to wrap this up. I hope you liked this podcast about us laughing at our own city. I hope you enjoyed the video, and- actually before we end the podcast, I noticed you said a good idiom throughout that podcast, which was the bus was picking up steam.

 

Edward:

Yes, to pick up steam.

 

Keiran:

Was it collecting steam that was on the road?

 

Edward:

I believe it was collecting steam from the road. Actually, it's a good expression to mean that you're picking up speed, you're getting faster and faster. I would like to say maybe it's from like a steamship in the past, you know a steamship picking up steam. Or maybe, actually probably a steam engine train makes more sense. You're picking up steam means you're going faster, you're putting out more steam.

 

Keiran:

Maybe, I don't really know, but that seems to make sense.

 

Edward:

That's for your students to find out, and tell you on, or during their next class.

 

Keiran:

During the class, come on the Facebook page, see if you guys can find out the meaning of picking up steam, the meaning, the origins of picking up steam. Right, and that's it guys, I hope you enjoyed this podcast, I hope you guys are picking up steam in your mastery of the English language through listening to our podcasts. Remember, this one is going to be transcripted so you can go find the transcript, and rate it, review it, and we'll catch you next time on the next podcast of uncensored English.

 

Dec 17, 2016

Are you working on improving your fluency? You're writing transcripts right? You're not writing transcripts? Really? Why not? Today I talk a little about writing transcripts, Xmas, some current events around the world and a few idioms.

Dec 15, 2016

There's so many ways to learn a language, today Sabrina from Calm English comes on to share some of her most creative techniques that you can use to retain the English you're learning in a more efficient manner. 

Dec 13, 2016

Learn a great way to express that you can connect with someone or you can't. Anna is back on the podcast and we bounce around this great idiom and have some fun.

*** Transcript***

 

Keiran:

Hey Anna, how's it going?

 

Anna:

Hello again, Keiran. How are you?

 

Keiran:

Good, I'm good. It's good to have you back on the podcast. So what's new with you?

 

Anna:

It's good to be back.

 

 

What's new? Not a lot. The sky is up, still.

 

Keiran:

Yeah, it's been a long time since we last talked.

 

Anna:

Yeah.

 

Keiran:

Anna, today on the podcast I thought it would be really fun if we could just share an idiomatic expression that you often hear in your life or that you often use, you know, with people around you or at least when you lived in Australia. People can use no matter where they go in the english speaking world.

 

 

So if you think about one, is there any one that pops into your mind?

 

Anna:

Yeah, there's one that I really like and that I use very often and that's "to be on the same wavelength as someone".

 

Keiran:

Okay, to be on the same wavelength. Okay, and what specifically do you mean by that?

 

Anna:

Yeah, you know how sometimes you go to a party and you meet someone and within a few minutes you kind of already know that you're going to be friends.

 

Keiran:

Yeah.

 

Anna:

Yeah, you have that moment where you're like, hang on we like, we think the same way or we're interested in the same things and straight away you're like, wow! This person and I, we share something, yeah? This saying to be "on the same wavelength as someone" basically explains that relationship. That we feel like, you know, a wavelength is part of what they use in radio for example, so it's like we're tuning in to the same radio station in our heads.

 

Keiran:

Right, exactly. That's an awesome way of explaining it.

 

Anna:

Yeah.

 

Keiran:

It's so interesting that you say that because it's so true that even when, you know, I would go on dates back in the day.

 

Anna:

Back in the day.

 

Keiran:

When I was single. It's an amazing thing that you can, you know, go out with someone and within a matter of minutes you're just like, mmm this person's nice but we're not on the same wavelength, right?

 

Anna:

Yup, exactly.

 

Keiran:

I can't see myself being with someone who doesn't like A, B, and C or I can't even connect ...

 

Anna:

Curb your enthusiasm.

 

Keiran:

Yeah, exactly. Right. You gotta be able to connect with someone. You gotta be on the same wavelength, I think to grow a long...

 

Anna:

Yeah.

 

Keiran:

... lasting relationship, right?

 

Anna:

Absolutely, and I think the weird thing about, you know being human is that there's no guidelines for who that's going to occur with.

 

Keiran:

Right.

 

Anna:

You could meet a group of people your same age, you know, same gender, same background and not really click with them. Not be on the same wavelength, but then suddenly you meet some ... This has happened to me. I meet some 75 year old German man, and I'm just like, wow! We really connect.

 

Keiran:

Yeah, yes.

 

Anna:

For some reason. It doesn't make any sense but we are on the same wavelength.

 

Keiran:

Right, that's amazing. It's interesting. I think that I've been someone over my life that I've never ... I've always had friends ...

 

Anna:

Mm-hmm (affirmative)

 

Keiran:

I've never clicked in a group. I always just felt like I was never part of a group. I never clicked.

 

Anna:

I'm the same way. Yeah, wow.

 

Keiran:

Then when I started doing comedy like, these people were on my wavelength.

 

Anna:

Yeah.

 

Keiran:

I can just like talk for hours about nothing and I'm like, oh! I was with the wrong people.

 

Anna:

Yes! The same thing happened to me, actually. Exactly the same when I moved into opera and like suddenly, for example, back when I started doing opera I had a non-opera boyfriend.

 

Keiran:

Mm-hmm (affirmative)

 

Anna:

I brought him to an opera party and I was like, I hope you're ready for what's about to happen because it was such a different ... As you probably know, performers, it's such a different world. Some people can't connect to that wavelength. Some people can't be on that wavelength.

 

Keiran:

Right, exactly. That's so funny. I actually remember one comedy show I went to. It was more of an amateur comedy show. I was on it and I had this other friend who was on it. He has this joke now that that comedy show destroyed his relationship with his girlfriend because it was ... I mean, some amateur comedy shows sometimes go too long. Amateur comedy, if it's not good it's painful.

 

Anna:

Yeah.

 

Keiran:

To the comedians, it either is painful but sometimes we can enjoy it cause, like we know these people. We them regularly. I can be like, wow! John's really bombing, look at that. The audience is just like, oh this is terrible but I'm laughing at that experience because I know ...

 

Anna:

Yeah.

 

Keiran:

... What it feels like and it's entertaining for me to see my friend fall to pieces. You know, in a different way.

 

Anna:

That was really interesting.

 

Keiran:

Yeah, so whose someone who you know are the type of person that you're not on the same wavelength as.

 

Anna:

Yeah, I was just thinking about that. To me, honestly, it's negative people. You know, people who have decided that either the world is against them or that work sucks and everyone is you know, a pain in the ass or something like that. You know, people who always complain, I find it very hard ...

 

Keiran:

Oh yeah.

 

Anna:

... To be on the wavelength with them because for me, I'm the kind of person  always trying to look at the good things, and what can we do? What's positive that we can take out of this? I find myself never being on the same wavelength as someone who is very negative and pessimistic.

 

Keiran:

Yeah, right. That's interesting. You know, it's interesting, I think my mom's a bit like that kind of person. Not really, she's a very positive person but she just gets into ... People get stuck in a mood sometimes.

 

Anna:

Right.

 

Keiran:

I know when she's stuck in a mood cause I'll just hear her be like, "ahhh", "ahhhh" and she'll do it like every 20 seconds and then ...

 

Anna:

The heave sighs.

 

Keiran:

Sometimes we're on the same wavelength but when I hear that I just kind of wish I had some kind of stick and I can just like push her away, you know. This wavelength that you're on is not what I want to be on.

 

Anna:

It's not for me.

 

Keiran:

Yeah, no.

 

Anna:

What about you? Is there a particular type of person you find you're not on the wavelength with?

 

Keiran:

I think I struggle with people who are too much into like, reality shows or pop culture. I mean, I don't mean pop culture. I like a lot of pop culture but like reality shows and I'm going to say ... I don't want to offend. I mean, I'm going to offend someone, but, bullshit artists.

 

Anna:

I know.

 

Keiran:

People who like, they make one song and it's really catchy. I don't know, I don't like worship of, like people who I don't feel aren't talented. I can't stand having a conversation with these people. I'm just like, no.

 

 

I don't want to just be like, that person sucks. That person's terrible cause I know this person loves them, you know. These people I can't have a conversation with cause I just have no respect for their opinion.

 

Anna:

Wow.

 

Keiran:

We're not on the same wavelength. I can't mesh ...

 

Anna:

The next time, if I come on again we should not be talking about Bachelorette Canada.

 

Keiran:

No...

 

Anna:

... Is what you're saying?

 

Keiran:

I mean I can have fun and watch it once or twice and laugh at it but like, people who take it seriously. I don't know. I just rather be wrapped up in my own reality then, like, watching another one.

 

Anna:

Right. Fair enough. Yeah, sure.

 

Keiran:

I can't lie and say I've never watched it. Back in the day I was like, this is great! Then I was like, this is dumb [inaudible 00:08:17]

 

Anna:

I don't know I think sometimes it's both. Sometimes we love to hate something.

 

Keiran:

Yeah, like everyone needs something to like, beat up, once in a while or something, right.

 

Anna:

Yeah, absolutely. We're kind of suckers for it.

 

Keiran:

Right.

 

Anna:

Yeah.

 

Keiran:

What about you? Is there any other thing that you're ... Any other people who you totally are on the same wavelength on?

 

Anna:

Interesting you should ask that. Let me think about that.

 

 

I guess my mom and I have always been on the same wavelength. I love both my parents, I love my whole family. I've got a really great family. I'm very lucky.

 

Keiran:

Mm-hmm (affirmative).

 

Anna:

My mom and I in particular, we've kind of always just, we just get each other. We just understand each other.

 

Keiran:

Yeah.

 

Anna:

She has this habit of not finishing her sentences so she'll just say, oh I really need to go to the uh... And then she doesn't say anything. Over time, I think I kind of learned to mind read a bit and kind of know what she was going to say. I think that kind of helped keep us on that same wavelength.

 

Keiran:

Great. Is your mom kind of artistic like you are in the sense?

 

Anna:

She's an academic, actually. She's more the brains of the operation.

 

Keiran:

Okay.

 

Anna:

Yeah.

 

Keiran:

That's interesting.

 

Anna:

What about you?

 

Keiran:

Ahhh, I think, people who I'm not on the same wavelength with I already described that. People who are on the same wavelength really, it's just I think people who like to analyze society and kind of...

 

Anna:

Yeah, cool.

 

Keiran:

... Pinpoint ... I find through teaching english online I met lots of people who sooner or later they'll get on to, like, corruption. It's this pick topic that's really popular with a lot of students.

 

Anna:

Yeah.

 

Keiran:

They like to talk about how their country's corrupt and they like to say, "you would never understand my country, you would never understand". I like that topic, I like looking at our societies and kind of saying, what's wrong with it?

 

Anna:

Yeah, what can be better?

 

Keiran:

That's a wavelength that I know a lot of people aren't on. I have friends who, they love politics and stuff and I'm just like, no I can't trust politics.

 

Anna:

Yeah.

 

Keiran:

Political people are not on the same wavelength as me. What about you? Here's the thing, do you vote or do you ...

 

Anna:

Well, we don't have a choice. In Australia it's compulsory.

 

Keiran:

Oh, that's weird.

 

Anna:

Everyone votes. I would say I am into politics but less so now than I used to be. I think for me it's more, like, exactly what we were saying about The Bachelorette. I kind of love to hate it and I kind of ... I like being ... I wouldn't say I'm part of it but I like following it partly because I'm just like, oh that's so stupid and oh, why would they do that?

 

Keiran:

Yeah.

 

Anna:

... And oh, it's all going wrong. It's all going in the wrong direction. I kind of, I don't know, take some sort of weird perverse pleasure in that.

 

Keiran:

That's the level I'm on.

 

Anna:

Yeah.

 

Keiran:

We're on the critical, like, we're analyzing it from the outside.

 

Anna:

Yeah.

 

Keiran:

The level that other of my friends are on is like, they've chosen a party and I'm just like, no. The system is broken, don't you see? It doesn't matter which party you choose.

 

Anna:

Yeah. Do you think that's true in every country though? Or just in Canada?

 

Keiran:

I mean, I can't say. I haven't lived in every country.

 

Anna:

Yeah.

 

Keiran:

I don't know. I just know that I don't trust either party.

 

Anna:

Yeah.

 

Keiran:

In Canada we have several parties. The U.S. I think that's an unfortunate reality. They only have two.

 

Anna:

Yeah. It's kind of very similar in Australia, actually.

 

Keiran:

Okay, so you guys have two also?

 

Anna:

Yeah, we have two main parties. We do have some smaller independent parties and the Greens party but really, there's no competition. It's always going to be one or the other.

 

Keiran:

Right.

 

Anna:

In terms of who wins.

 

 

Yeah, I mean it really comes down to that age-old debate, you know, is it better to be on the outside criticizing it or is it better to be on the inside changing it? I don't know that there's a simple answer to that.

 

Keiran:

Right. My thing is, I don't vote because I just think the system's broken, like, people are upset in the U.S. that they elected Trump but if they didn't elect Trump, you would have got Hilary whose pretty much just as bad.

 

Anna:

Yeah, we're going to disagree on that one because she has her faults, don't get me wrong, but I wouldn't say she's nearly as bad. I think she was about as bad as any politician is. Whereas I think he's at a whole other level.

 

Keiran:

Yeah, he's not a politician or anything.

 

Anna:

Yeah, but that's kind of ...

 

Keiran:

That's why he got elected because people are tired of politicians. I think that's the main reason.

 

Anna:

Yeah, but the majority didn't vote for him which is a whole other.

 

Keiran:

Right, that's their electoral system, really.

 

Anna:

Yeah.

 

Keiran:

Right, it's weird, I know.

 

Anna:

Well, hey, at least you're independent. In Australia we're still connected to the common wealth. We're still British. We still don't have a president.

 

Keiran:

Yeah.

 

Anna:

Just a prime minister.

 

Keiran:

That's weird. Well, we have a prime minister.

 

Anna:

You don't have a president. Do you elect them directly or do you elect the parties and then he's ...

 

Keiran:

You elect the ... What do we elect? I forget. We have parties ...

 

Anna:

I can tell you're very passionate about this.

 

Keiran:

That's why I'm telling you. I really don't like politics.

 

Anna:

Okay. I think we should stick to TV.

 

Keiran:

Yeah, we should stick to the wavelength that we were on before.

 

 

I'm definitely on the wavelength of the critical person and I don't even care enough about politics to ...

 

Anna:

Yeah.

 

Keiran:

To be on the wavelength as someone whose going to support the party.

 

Anna:

Yeah, I understand.

 

Keiran:

All right. Okay, we got to wrap this one up.

 

Anna:

Yeah.

 

Keiran:

Anna it was so great having you back on.

 

Anna:

Nice chatting to you too. We got a little sidetracked there but ...

 

Keiran:

That's what happens in a great conversation. I think that's what people...

 

Anna:

That's true.

 

Keiran:

... Want to hear anyways. I hope you bump into some people later on today who you're on the same wavelength with and, you know.

 

Anna:

I'm going to see my boyfriend. I guess he counts.

 

Keiran:

I hope so. All right, well, thanks so much Anna and we'll catch you next time.

 

Anna:

Yeah, I look forward to it. See you later, Keiran. Have a good one.

 

Keiran:

All right, chao.

 

Anna:

Bye.

 

 

 

Dec 10, 2016

How do you say you've been working hard? Today on Uncensored English we share a great idiom you can use to express that you've been working hard. Also Keiran talks about chickens, creating a healthy work life balance and what one of our Russian listeners had to say about the podcast. 

 

***No Transcript today but check out the Youtube Channel for the Video Version!***

Dec 8, 2016

How to improve your English? You could read English books and study how the language is used, you could watch tv and read a transcript as you go along. Or you could listen to the silliest most inappropriate podcast right here! On this episode of Uncensored English Gabe joins Keiran and they shoot the shit about Russian stereotypes. Don't worry, if this offended you, you can get back to us. Listen up for our challenge at the end of the podcast.

 

***Transcript***

 

Keiran:

Today on Uncensored English podcast number 114, Gabe O'Massi comes back on, and he and I shoot the shit about Russian stereotypes. We discuss hypothetical situations about what would happen if we lived in Russia. Lastwee, lastly we offer a little challenge for your Russians out there if you want to come join us on the podcast, so listen up in the end. Let's get this thing started.

 

Automated:

The following podcast is not intended for younger audiences. It contains coarse language, adult topics, controversial ideas, and is riddled with insanity. Listener's discretion is strongly advised.

 

Keiran:

What's up everybody? This is Keiran the crazy Canadian, and welcome to another podcast of Uncensored English because English isn't always PC. What's up everybody? Today, we have good ole Gabriel back on the podcast. How's it going buddy?

 

Gabriel:

(whistles) Hey babies, how's it going?

 

Keiran:

*chuckles* I haven't seen you in awhile. What have you been up to man?

 

Gabriel:

Not much. I've been exercising, drinking a lot of coffee. Oh wait, oh no, get out of my room. I'm doing a podcast. Sorry, my mom is here. Yeah You're on TV, yeah.

 

Keiran:

You're famous. Everyone's listening to you.

 

Gabriel:

Am I on TV? Anyway, sorry. How are you on TV? I'm on the phone.

 

Keiran:

Does your mom know what a podcast is?

 

Gabriel:

No, I don't know. My mom's crazy.

 

Keiran:

That's hilarious man. You've got to resolve that situation.

 

Gabriel:

Yeah, anyway. She's gone now.

 

Keiran:

Alright anyways, I hope everyone's doing well out there. I recently upgraded my podcasting host, and now I get to see where all the listeners come from. I found out that a good percentage of the listeners are in Russia. So today, me and Gabriel are going to do a little bit of teasing, a little bit of mocking. We're going to make fun of you Russians out there.

 

Gabriel:

Yeah.

 

Keiran:

We're going to go through ten stereotypes about Russians. And just I don’t know we're going to see what we think about you even though neither of us have ever been there.

 

Gabriel:

Yeah, I've never been to Russia, and I don't think I'll ever fucking go to Russia either.

 

Keiran:

Why do you never want to go to Russia man?

 

Gabriel:

Cause that’s uh, they're in bed with Trump's baby. You know what they say about Trump, he's a bad guy.

 

Keiran:

Yeah, he's clearly a bad guy, but what do you mean they're in bed with Trump?

 

Gabriel:

You know, shit, okay I don't know. I don't know. I have no idea. I don't know. I'm stupid.

 

Keiran:

Anyways, let's do a stereotype. The first one we're doing today, Russians are flashy.

 

Gabriel:

Russians are flashy. Yeah, if I were Russian, I would like not know that I was so flashy because all I see is fuckin flashy shit, and I would think it's normal.

 

Keiran:

If I was Russian, I would probably wear a fur coat or something.

 

Gabriel:

Yeah, that's true. Yeah, shoot all they wear ... like uh. They have these golden necklaces and hairy ass chests and a track pant suit and a track pant sweater, if that makes sense.

 

Keiran:

You know those hats they have when you go to the Jewish part of town where they kind of look like a big birthday cake on the guy's head?

 

Gabriel:

Yeah.

 

Keiran:

I think Russian people have that hat, but I think it's a little bit less wide. What are those things called?

 

Gabriel:

Yeah, uhh .. shit man, I don't know what they're called. They're just stupid hats.

 

Keiran:

Alright let's go to the next stereotype. Russian clubs are very exclusive.

 

Gabriel:

Oh, Man, if I was in Russia, I would make sure ... I know how to be cool, you know? This is a hard one. I don't know. I don't ever go to the ... If I were Russian, I wouldn't go to those clubs because you know what I like to chat and hang out and have a nice beer or a vodka as they call beer there.

 

Keiran:

If you were Russian, you would go to a Russian dive bar or something like that.

 

Gabriel:

Yeah. Hang out, I'd go on Russian Tinder and meet a Russian lady.

 

Keiran:

Okay. Let's go to the next one. Gender roles are alive and well in Russia.

 

Gabriel:

Ah man, If I were Russian, I'd make sure everything would be more politically correct. I would make sure that my lady-

 

Keiran:

Dude, really? I think you'd get your ass kicked in Russia. This one ... I have a lot of Russian students, and I agree with this. The women are very feminine, and the men are pretty masculine.

 

Gabriel:

The thing is I'm very in touch with my feminine side. I know what ... Let people be whatever they want to be. I don't want to be masculine all the time because it's exhausting.

 

Keiran:

You don't have to be hyper masculine, but I think ... It's like-

 

Gabriel:

I'm lazy.

 

Keiran:

Over here sometimes we have men who are like women, and we have women who act like men.

 

Gabriel:

Like Caitlyn Jenner?

 

Keiran:

No, that's a man who's become a woman.

 

Gabriel:

Okay.

 

Keiran:

They're saying-

 

Gabriel:

Anyway.

 

Keiran:

If I was in ... Next one, there's a lot of corruption in Russia.

 

Gabriel:

Ah man, these are way more difficult. If I were a political figure in Russia, I would take advantage of the corruption and cash in, baby.

 

Keiran:

Oh man, yeah, if I were in Russia I would have a hard time with the corruption. I guess that's the way to live if you're a political figure, right?

 

Gabriel:

Yeah it's almost like becoming a businessman. It's like a business. You go, and you get into politics, you get your hands greased up by the fish lobbies or whatever.

 

Keiran:

Yeah.

 

Gabriel:

I don't know what Russia exports.

 

Keiran:

Go with the flow, right?

 

Gabriel:

They export fucking sadness.

 

Keiran:

Yeah, I had one student who said, "If you want to have a good life in Russia, you have to be friends with a doctor and a policeman because otherwise you're not going to have good protection or good medical services." Alright let's go to the next one, Russians are blunt and serious.

 

Gabriel:

Uh.. I’ve never really hung out ... I have had a few Russian girlfriends and-

 

Keiran:

*laughs* I’ve never met a Russian before, except for all those girls I dated.

 

Gabriel:

Yeah, I dated a girl from Ukraine. I know that's not Russia, but it might as well be Russia. She was horrible. She was so mean to me, and I liked her so much. She did not like me, and I tried to like date her, but she didn't think I was funny. She would show me pictures of other men, of other cooler looking men, and I was like man one day I'll be fucking cool. Then one day I saw her at a bar, and she was kind of fat and ugly, and I was like man I'm fucking hot. I have a huge dick. Anyway, so yeah, that's my story.

 

Keiran:

So basically, the point of your story is Ukrainian women are bitches, and you don't know much about Russian women because you can't remember the women you've dated.

 

Gabriel:

The one I dated, that was a long time ago. Good head.

 

Keiran:

Good to know. Let's go to the next one, Russians are superstitious.

 

Gabriel:

Man, I don't know. Are they? Yeah sure. If I was Russian, I'd be superstitious according to this show. I mean are they religious? That's the same thing? Scared of God?

 

Keiran:

Are they religious? I don't know. I generally don't talk to my students about religion that much unless it's a topic that the student enjoys.

 

Gabriel:

A lot of them are Jewish aren't they? I guess not anymore ever since 1940.

 

Keiran:

I don't know. That's a good question. I'm going to let that one go. We're going to ask the listeners out there at the end of the podcast. Are Russians religious, and are they superstitious?

 

Gabriel:

Yeah because as a man of faith I want to know. By the way, I got that email from ... I don't know who I got that email from, but I never responded to her because I was so lazy, but now that I read it, and I appreciate you.

 

Keiran:

Oh yeah, from one of our listeners.

 

Gabriel:

Yeah, yeah. She was nice. I think she actually thought I was religious, which I am by the way. So, thank you.

 

Keiran:

No you're not you liar.

 

Gabriel:

Sure, yeah.

 

Keiran:

Let's go on. Russian babushkas.

 

Gabriel:

What the fuck is that?

 

Keiran:

The babushka or Russian granny is a pervasive image in western culture, and she exists. There are a lot of older Russian women in Russia who look exactly like stereotypical babushkas; small and short with scarfs around their head ready to run you down with a wheeled shopping cart.

 

Gabriel:

Oh, my grandmother kind of looks like that, but she's Greek. She's kind of short and fat and old, and she's got a lot of energy. She's a terrible cook. I don't know, but yeah.

 

Keiran:

If I was in Russia I would hang out with the babushkas and drink some vodka, and then pick fights with younger people because you can't beat up old ladies.

 

Gabriel:

If I were in Russia and were Russian, I'd love my babushka, and I'd visit her.

 

Keiran:

Ahhh You sweetie. We're down to two more. Russian women are extremely beautiful.

 

Gabriel:

Man, Yo, I could attest to that man. If I were Russian, man, I would be in heaven with all those Russian babes. I also watch a lot of Russian porn, and some of them are like ... Anyway, you get the idea.

 

Keiran:

Yeah, I think I know what you do. Would you settle down or would you play the game forever if you were in Russia?

 

Gabriel:

I'd play the field, which means I'd go around, and I'd meet people. And then like one day I'd be at a bar, and then a Russian girl would come through the door entering the bar, and she'd steal my heart.

 

Keiran:

You'd settle down in the long run.

 

Gabriel:

Eventually, you know, I want to have a cute kid.

 

Keiran:

I don't think I would settle down if I was single in Russia. I had one student, Boris, and he was like ... I'm like, "Do you have a girlfriend?" He was like, "Why I have girlfriend? There's more women in Russia."

 

Gabriel:

That's hilarious.

 

Keiran:

Last stereotype, Russians love vodka.

 

Gabriel:

Yeah, I love ... I don't like Russian vodka to be honest or the European trash. I love Am ... I'm sorry, let me phrase this right. If I were Russian, I wouldn't drink the vodka in Russia. I'd drink Tito's Austin, Texas vodka. Delicious. Hmm, hmm, hmm.

 

Keiran:

If you were in Russia, you would drink Austin, Texas vodka?

 

Gabriel:

Yeah, it's really good.

 

Keiran:

Yeah, I don't know if that's a good choice. I think if I was in Russia, I would trust the Russian vodka because they've been drinking it for awhile.

 

Gabriel:

Yeah, what do they drink there? What's the fucking vodka that they drink in Russia, specifically? [crosstalk 00:12:16].

 

Keiran:

I'm sure they got a shitload of brands man. In Mongolia alone, they had at least 20 brands of vodka there.

 

Gabriel:

Holy shit.

 

Keiran:

They've got a lot of different vodka over there.

 

Gabriel:

I like vodka, man. I love martinis and shit. I love vodka martinis, delicious.

 

Keiran:

Alright, alright, good. Guys, I hope you enjoyed me and Gabriel shitting on your stereotypes. We're going to make a little offer to all the Russians out there who are listening today. Gabriel has agreed to participate in this challenge. All you guys got to do, the Russian listeners out there, is if you want to have uh a conversation with Gabriel-

 

Gabriel:

Yeah man.

 

Keiran:

Gabriel's probably looking more out for the women, but if you're a guy too, you can participate. You can talk to Gabriel for ... How long is the conversation going to be, 15-20 minutes?

 

Gabriel:

Yeah, whatever. Yeah, you know what would be cool? If you guys come up with Canadian stereotypes to get us back.

 

Keiran:

Yeah, yeah, you can make fun of us Canadians on the call.

 

Gabriel:

Yeah, then we could dispute it. I could be like, "Hey man, I don't fucking do that shit."

 

Keiran:

OK here's what you got to do, if you want to participate, if you want to have a conversation with Gabriel, all you got to do is make a short little audio recording of yourself. Tell us what you think of Gabriel and our stupid podcast about you Russians out there, and send it in. Gabriel's going to listen to all the recordings he gets, and he's going to choose the winner, and we're going to line up a podcast with you and Gabriel on Uncensored English.

 

Gabriel:

Here's a little hint, talk about your big boobs. I'm joking.

I’m joking, I’m joking.

Keiran:

Oh my God. You're going to get a picture from some extremely fat Russian guy names Vladimir who has the hugest knockers.

 

Gabriel:

That's cool. I like that too.

 

Keiran:

All right guys, this podcast has been completely silly and stupid. We did actually do some grammar practice. We didn't actually tell you about it, but the whole time we did if statements. If I lived in Russia, I would do this. Listen to it again. Have some fun, laugh at this silly podcast, and send us an email. Actually just send Gabriel the email because he's going to pick. Gabriel, what's your email?

 

Gabriel:

Okay, listen carefully. It's gabomassi@gmail.com, G-A-B-O-M-A-S-S-I @gmail.com. G-A-B-O-M-A-S-S-I.

 

Keiran:

G-A-B-O-M-A-S-S-I @gmail.com. Record a little audio of yourself. Send it into Gabriel, and we're going to line up the follow up podcast for all you dirty Russians out there. That's it, we'll catch you on the next podcast of Uncensored English.

 

 

Dec 6, 2016

Are you looking for a way to challenge your English? Want to speak to native English speakers in a group? Why the hell haven't you done our Story Telling Challenge. Today we have the second winner from the Story Telling Challenge #2 on the podcast. We talk about technology, knees, and the possible cyborg future. Don't be a chicken to the next challenge!

 

*** Transcript*** 

 

 

Keiran:

All right. What's up, everybody. Today, on the podcast, we have two guests with us. We have Max [Lemire 00:00:09], the American, the Trump supporter, back on the podcast. How's it going, Max?

 

Max:

Hey, Keiran. I'm not a Trump supporter, but thanks for that. Doing well, thanks. How are you?

 

Keiran:

I'm good, I'm good. Thank you. Then we also have Pavel who was one of the participants in our Storytelling challenge. How are you doing, Pavel?

 

Pavel:

Hello. I'm fine.

 

Keiran:

Good. All right. Great. Max, why don't you and Pavel get to know each other for one minute while I pull up the article?

 

Max:

Sure, sure. Pavel, what are you doing for work?

 

Pavel:

I'm working as a software developer.

 

Max:

Nice. Are you working on cell phone applications?

 

Pavel:

Cell phone applications, too, as well.

 

Max:

All right. What's the main application?

 

Pavel:

Last year, I'm working on entertainment publications for iPhones.

 

Max:

Nice. That sounds fun. I don't code very well, but I tried to do a bit in university. After the hard physics related stuff, I just stopped doing any of it.

 

Keiran:

All right. You're not a big fan of physics then, Max.

 

Max:

It's hard to program it. I like physics, but it's hard to program.

 

Keiran:

That's great because we got a perfect topic for you then today. We're going to talk a little bit about some sciences, and I don't know if it's physics related stuff, but I'm going to read the title of this article so the listeners can know a little bit about what we're talking about. I'm going to post the article in the transcript so you guys can read it if you want. Then Max and Pavel and I are going to just have a conversation about it. The title of this and the caption below it, The Innovators, The Silk Road to Reducing Knee Operations. New bio material called FibroFix re-spins a silk protein like a spider into tough cartilage type material for knee implants, cutting the rising number of expensive knee replacement ops.

 

 

Basically, they created a material that's similar to a spider web or I guess silkworms web or webbing or whatever, and they're going to use this to reduce the cost of knee operations. I'm going to read a little bit more here. Silkworms and spiderwebs may hold the solution to one of the Western world's most pressing health problems, the surge in the need for knee replacements as the population grows older and more obese.

 

 

Max, what do you think about this, using technology that we're mimicking silkworms or spider worms to replace faulty knees?

 

Max:

I think that's fantastic. Typically, what we're making replacement parts for people out of are either other animals. We use pig heart valves for heart valve replacements in people, we use pig's valves. Otherwise, we're using mechanical ones made out of metal and other different I guess materials. If we're able to use something that's organic, more organic, I think it's better because our body won't reject it.

 

Keiran:

All right. What do you think about that, Pavel? Do you think this article and what they're proposing is a good idea?

 

Pavel:

Yes, I think it's a very good idea to use spider proteins for a human tissues. Also, I'm very glad that the science in general still developing. Still there are many things that need to be developed, and scientists still working on it.

 

Keiran:

This is pretty amazing technology, I think, but the one thing I think is that, to me, it seems like one step closer to ... We're using organic materials to heal ourselves or to treat ourselves so that we can last longer.

 

Max:

Exactly.

 

Keiran:

This is the principle behind this article. Max?

 

Max:

I totally agree with that. I think the big deal of the article is right now the implants they're using are real expensive, and these are going to be a lot cheaper so people are going to be able to afford the operation.

 

Keiran:

If you think about this a little more, it seems like we're just one step away or a few steps away from organically combining robotics and humans. If they're doing this to replace a knee, weak knees or bad knees, I imagine in the future, we're going to be seeing some kind of cyborg. This is a good idea. Pavel, you agree with that. Max, you agree with that, but what if we go towards replacing bad knees with robotics that make us stronger, superior? Do you think this is maybe dangerous for us?

 

Max:

I've always dreamed of becoming half robot, half man, so I think that would be ... Even if there's risks involved, I think it's worth it. What do you think, Pavel?

 

Pavel:

I don't think there is something dangerous to be more robotics for people. Maybe people will be better. I think most of people will be better.

 

Keiran:

You guys are both in favor of combining robotics, basically upgrading human beings with robotic limbs.

 

Max:

Yeah. How do you feel about that, Keiran?

 

Keiran:

I think for someone like me or you or Pavel, I think it's fine. If we had a bad knee and we want to just go for a walk or a run, that's fine, but if we use robotic in replacements in military soldiers, that might be problematic, no?

 

Max:

It would be scary. It's just like any technology. It's going to be whoever has the newest technology has the strongest army. That's been a classic. Whoever had tanks first was dominant in World War I. Then whoever had the better tanks in World War II. I think it's more World War II, but technology will always be like that no matter what happens. I'm looking forward to becoming half man, half silkworm. Like this article says, I can become part silkworm.

 

Keiran:

Ok that's weird.

 

Max:

Joke.

 

Keiran:

Pavel, would you be worried about anything if we were, we were approving cyborg limbs? Would any of this worry you?

 

Pavel:

Excuse me. I did not hear the last part of phrase.

 

Keiran:

No problem. If we legalize cyborg limbs, like robotic knees and robotic arms, for people who have arm problems, do you think this would maybe be dangerous in any way?

 

Pavel:

No. I think it can be dangerous because people can use a robotic arms or guns or rifles. What's the difference? If people want to be evil or dangerous, they can find a way anywhere.

 

Keiran:

That's an interesting point.

 

Max:

That's a good point. You're saying, Pavel, the tool doesn't matter. If the person's going to break the law, they can do it already.

 

Pavel:

Exactly. If people want to do something good, they can get better abilities for it. I think it's good for every side.

 

Keiran:

All right. I guess that makes sense. You're saying if people are going to do bad things, they're just going to do them. It doesn't matter if they have robotic legs or guns. The robotics upgrades are not going make them do it more. They're already going to do those bad actions. That's basically what you're saying. I just think we had this shooting a few years ago in Montreal, Pavel, where this guy went to a college with a machine gun and he killed many people in that college. Do you remember that, Max, the Dawson shooting?

 

Max:

Yeah. I was there a few weeks before it happened. It was scary.

 

Keiran:

If they never had machine guns, he probably would have still did something. Maybe he would have went in with a sword, but he would have done less, right?

 

Max:

Right, right. I see what you mean.

 

Keiran:

Maybe. Maybe. Who knows? Maybe with a sword, he would have to be a more fit person to actually do it. I don't know.

 

Max:

Maybe if he had to dedicate a few years to learning the sword, he would have found peace instead of going on a crime with someone that's easy to use. I'm not even joking. It takes a lot of training to use those things.

 

Keiran:

To use a sword?

 

Max:

Yeah. To use it well and to be able to defend yourself.

 

Keiran:

All right. Any last thoughts about this, Pavel, before we finish it up?

 

Pavel:

Actually, no.

 

Keiran:

What about you, Max?

 

Max:

I still want to be half man, half silkworm.

 

Keiran:

Pavel and Max are still on the cyborg boat, and I'm against the cyborgs. All right. Pavel, thanks for coming on so much and for doing this. I know this is challenging, but it's a great challenge for you, and I think you did really well.

 

Max:

Thanks for coming, Pavel.

 

Pavel:

Thank you. It was nice to meet you.

 

Max:

It was nice to meet you, too.

 

Keiran:

All right. Max, we don't really appreciate you because you're a dirty American, but I guess we should thank you a little bit.

 

Max:

I guess I'm just patient then.

 

Keiran:

Thanks also, Max, for coming on. Guys, if you're listening to this and you want to do the next Storytelling challenge, then listen up for it because you can come on like Pavel and can have a conversation with another native speaker and really challenge your own English. You can like it, subscribe to us, and check it out on the Facebook page, too. We'll put more updates up there soon. Thanks, guys, and we'll catch you on the next episode of Censored English.

 

 

Dec 3, 2016

How to express that you are overwhelmed with work, garbage, or you have to many things to do. Today on the podcast we briefly talk about being swamped. Then we fill you sexy listeners out there in on a special challenge we have coming up next week. Lastly Sabrina joins me on the podcast to discuss a hot topic right now, flag burning in America. 

 

***No Transcript*** Video Version available on Youtube

 

 

Nov 30, 2016

Have you felt confused about what to say in the beginning of a conversation? Have you ever felt lost in a conversation? Today on Uncensored English two native English speakers talk to each other for the very first time! Anna the Australian English teacher joins me and we speak to each other for the very first time live on the podcast.

 

*** Transcript *** 

 

Keiran:

Hey Anna! How's a going?

 

Anna:

Hello, Hello Keiran! Nice to meet you finally.

 

Keiran:

Yeah it's good to meet you. So what's the weather over there like?

 

Anna:

(laughter) Well, it's probably not much for you, but for me it's very cold. It's just gotten down to zero and it's starting to go under.

 

Keiran:

Okay, and where exactly are you?

 

Anna:

Oh, I'm in Germany, sorry. Um but so I am originally from Australia, as you can probably hear from my accent. Yes I am living in Germany, living and working in Germany for a bit over a year now.

 

Keiran:

Okay, great, and what have you been doing?

 

Anna:

Mostly teaching, actually. I kind of have two lives, so I work as a teacher and a translator on one side, but on the other side I work as a musician, as an opera singer.

 

Keiran:

Oh great, that's awesome.

 

Anna:

Yeah. What about you? Like where are you located?

 

Keiran:

I'm in Montreal, Montreal Canada.

 

Anna:

Oh, wonderful.

 

Keiran:

And I used to have two lives, I used to be as cool as you, I don't anymore. Um I used to be teaching ... well I would say teaching full time ... and then doing stand-up comedy.

 

Anna:

Noooo

 

Keiran:

Yeah, but actually I was teaching and I was doing stand-up comedy, and then I was podcasting and, unfortunately how it is in Montreal, is that it's not very good to make a living doing comedy.

 

Anna:

Yeah.

 

Keiran:

So the teaching was going great. The podcasting, I didn't put too much energy into it up until recently, but it was stably growing.

 

Anna:

Cool.

 

Keiran:

So I decided to put the comedy on pause for a little bit, and now, I've dropped by double life I guess.

 

Anna:

(laughter) That's amazing. How does it work being a stand-up comedian? What's the business like? I don't really know anything about it.

 

Keiran:

It's degrading.

 

Anna:

Oh (laughter) So it's not that different from being an opera singer then I'm sure.

 

Keiran:

Right, there's a lot of performing for free in the beginning ...

 

Anna:

Yeah.

 

Keiran:

I was doing it for about 2 years. And I can't say like seriously, like if I was doing it seriously for 2 years I would be trying to go up and perform every night. And I didn't do it that much. I feel until you've reached a certain level, or you've made the right connection, you're going to perform for free.

 

Anna:

Yeah.

 

Keiran:

And that sometimes involves driving 6 hours to perform for 6 minutes and getting no money.

 

Anna:

Yeah. Do you have auditions as well? Because one of the things we have to do is you know, drive across the country, or to catch a train across the country to just do these auditions for like, you know, 2 minutes, sing, leave, and then find out in a few weeks.

 

Keiran:

 

Uh Not really, like we don't do auditions so much as we do open mics.

 

Anna:

Right.

 

Keiran:

Open Mic is basically you and a bunch of amateurs, or they also have pro comics who are working on new material. So obviously they don't want to do new material in front of like an audience that's paid like a good amount of money right? Because that might back-fire.

 

Anna:

Yeah, exactly.

 

Keiran:

That's our audition.

 

Anna:

Okay well there you go. And so how long ago was it that you kind of put that on hold?

 

Keiran:

I put it on hold in the beginning of November. Yeah, it's going to be like that until maybe April, May, May, June, put it on hold.

 

Anna:

Oh okay. All right. That's not that big of a break, that's all right.

 

Keiran:

Yeah, it's not big of a break but I think it's one of those things where you need to put in the time to get better, and I don't know, you're never getting younger so I don't think you should delay your passions for too long you know?

 

Anna:

(laughter) That's a really good point. And that's actually, I actually used to work in the corporate world. I used to work in project management and marketing, and this kind of stuff. And actually, what you just said is exactly why I changed paths completely and ended up studying music, halfway through my twenties.

 

Keiran:

That's great. That's awesome.

 

Anna:

So, yeah.

 

Keiran:

It takes a lot of courage to do that because these are jobs that are paying you money right?

 

Anna:

Yes (laughter)

 

Keiran:

[crosstalk 00:04:07] these are gambles, like these are ... so that's awesome.

 

Anna:

I like to say that every year I've gotten poorer, but happier.

 

Keiran:

(laughter) Ah that's funny.

 

Anna:

(laughter) So there you go, I don't know if I'm getting happier because of my age or because of those decisions but ...

 

Keiran:

Right. Well, I mean you're pursuing your passion. That takes courage, I think that's great.

 

Anna:

Yeah

 

Keiran:

So, how did you start teaching? How did you get into teaching?

 

Anna:

Yeah, actually it, I mean technically I've always been a helper ... I guess you would say ... or a leader maybe is a better word for it. I've always been the kind of person who likes taking charge and you know, I learn very quickly. So even at school, really, I was always that brat who put her hand up right at the beginning of class and already knew all of the answers, and so I kind of always kind of helped other students in that way.

 

 

But I didn't really start teaching until I was at University and then I would start kind of helping people with writing essays, especially foreign language students maybe, who needed that extra help editing things. I'd also tutored in Spanish, because I was learning Spanish at University. And um when I finished my degree, I got my certification, my TESOL certification. And then I kind of always done it kind of casually, but then since moving to Germany, it then kind of became a bit more of a full-time thing in order to kind of tie me over between my old life and my new life I guess you would say.

 

Keiran:

Okay, and so you're teaching in Germany in what way?

 

Anna:

Uh just, with this kind of stuff, with I talking on Skype, just online.

 

Keiran:

Okay, so you're not teaching in schools.

 

Anna:

No, so there's very ... it kind of, oh sorry you don't mean a public school you mean like a private school?

 

Keiran:

Well, any kind of school, like are you, you're purely teaching online at the moment?

 

Anna:

At the moment, yeah. So I have done in person classes, mainly through corporate agencies. So still one on one, but you know, actually going out to the businesses and sitting down with executives and talking things through. Um of course because of my performance background, I also love helping people on things like giving presentations, and how to use their voice ... and I think you also do some work with accents, which makes sense now that I know about your kind of, other life. (laughter) ... But yeah, you know, it's kind of that kind of thing helping people be confident and ...

 

Keiran:

Yeah

 

Anna:

... feel a bit more maybe, relaxed while also improving.

 

Keiran:

Right. Yeah, and you're voice is such an important tool.

 

Anna:

Mm-hmm

 

Keiran:

Yeah, I think you're right. You know I never thought that stand-up ... comedy, whatever I kind of came into teaching ... because usually it's, you're very onto like the politically incorrect end of the spectrum right? But it is, it's a lot of, part of fitting in I think is just learning to accept that you're not perfect and you grow more confident as you keep trying and you keep doing things.

 

Anna:

True, but also probably the stand-up, I'm guessing you do stuff with word play at some, like a few points?

 

Keiran:

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, you're right

 

Anna:

I think, I think you know in my experience all the good language teachers, be they you know in English or Spanish or German, you know, the ones who really have that passion, and who really can have fun with a language? Who, you know, it's not just about rules, rules, rules, but actually about like how can we make this something more exciting?

 

Keiran:

Right, yeah and that's one thing I was curious about whether you taught in schools because I've taught ... I've been teaching since I was 16, I started as a swim instructor for about 8 years.

 

Anna:

Oh! I used to be a personal trainer! There you go.

 

Keiran:

There you go! Yeah. We just have this track record of being in the position of, you know ... these are, you have to get concrete results for the people who are coming to your classes right? Like this is, if you don't they just choose someone else ... and that's why I was curious because I didn't like schools. I didn't like language schools, I thought they were ineffective. And in a language school, the students kind of get the short end of the stick. They get tested, they get put in a class, and that's their teacher, that's their curriculum, they don't have a choice.

 

Anna:

And that's the pace at which they learn.

 

Keiran:

Exactly. And they're stuck at that like, speed. And if you are the most advanced student in that class, that sucks. And if you're the lowest student in the class that sucks right?

 

 

Online it's amazing, like first of all, if you don't like your teacher then, just "Bye, bye, I'll find someone else."

 

Anna:

Yeah "It was nice meeting you, see you later."

 

Keiran:

Yeah and the curriculum is, it's always malleable, you can always change it the way you want right?

 

Anna:

Yeah exactly. I mean I'm, as you can imagine, I'm also learning German at the moment to keep expanding my skills here, and I pick up grammar rules very quickly, I mean I think a lot of English teachers, when you go to, like familiarity with how other people learn languages, sometimes you get to know what works for you as well, very quickly. And for me I found that in group classes that I've tried, yeah it's so frustrating because, sometimes they'll be explaining something they explained yesterday, and I'm like "But I understood it when you explained it yesterday" ...

 

Keiran:

Right, right. And then, yeah and then ...

 

Anna:

And then on the flip-side you can see other people struggling and you're like, I don't know, like there's no solution in a group class, in that situation.

 

Keiran:

No its, and in a group class usually the teacher is teaching, like this is how the teacher will teach the subject, either you get it or you don't. Like they haven't prepared, most teachers don't prepare 5 ways to teach ... because there's different types of learners right? And that doesn't ...

 

Anna:

Of course.

 

Keiran:

Yeah, so that's another good point.

 

 

So Anna, what's your ... I'm curious more about you as a person ... what's your family life like? Like do you come from a big family, a small family?

 

Anna:

Yeah. I come from a bit of a, it's strange, I guess a modern family you would say. (laughter) So quite small, in some respects. I have a lot of cousins, because my mother was one of five children, so there's quite a lot of cousins and aunts and uncles. But in terms of my immediate family, I have two half brothers.

 

Keiran:

OK

 

Anna:

So my mother married quite young, she had my two brothers in her first marriage. Then they got divorced, and much, much later she met my father and had me.

 

Keiran:

That's interesting. So what's your relationship like with your half brothers?

 

Anna:

I kind of think of it more like uncles, because they were 16, sorry they were 15 and 16 when I was born. So they're quite a bit older, so I think they've always been kind of an older presence, maybe not so much like brothers in a traditional sense. We didn't really grow up together for example. But we get along great ... is the short answer ... my whole family is terrific, I'm very lucky in that respect.

 

Keiran:

Right. I'd imagine there would be more tension like if you were born very close to them, because I ... like I just know in my family, I have three sisters ...

 

Anna:

Oh, wow.

 

Keiran:

... three sisters, who are your sisters, like you're immediate sisters, like you're always going to have friction.

 

Anna:

Mm-hmm (affirmative)

 

Keiran:

But I imagine if my father and my mother married someone else and then had more kids, then I imagine the friction with like a step brother ...

 

Anna:

Would be more

 

Keiran:

... who was the same age would be way worse.

 

Anna:

Yeah

 

Keiran:

You know like, that's, you're your mother's kids, but that kid is your step father's kid ...

 

Anna:

Yeah

 

Keiran:

... I imagine that would just ... maybe I'm wrong but ...

 

Anna:

Yeah, I mean I was quite lucky in that like, my first few years like as a toddler, my brothers were kind of in their late teens. And so to them, I was just a bunch of fun. Like they just loved like playing games with me and like playing, like throwing balls, and kind of I guess babysitting for my mom a bit, and so it was really, I think it worked out really well. And then, if course like my brother, my younger older brother (laughter) was the first to give me a beer, for example, when I was 13. (laughter) He gave me my first beer, he was in his late twenties and, you know, so it's kind of been quite a fun relationship really. And they're all musicians as well, actually.

 

Keiran:

That's cool so that's where you get your, I guess you're artistic side

 

Anna:

Yeah, that's interesting. Yeah, and what about, so you said you had three sisters, are they all older or?

 

Keiran:

No. I have one older sister, and then I have two younger sisters. And yeah, I mean like I said, he had a lot of friction growing up. We ...

 

Anna:

Oh, Okay. Are you all very close in age or?

 

Keiran:

My oldest sister is I think 2 or 3 years older than me. Yeah I never know my sister's ages. (laughter)

 

Anna:

(laughter)

 

Keiran:

My younger sisters are ...

 

Anna:

There's so much friction, you never remembered they're birthdays

 

Keiran:

Yeah maybe because I haven't remembering their birthdays and buying them presents or something. My younger sisters are, I don't know, 2 and 5 years younger than me I think? Yeah, we're spread out, but I mean it's a lot of bodies in the house and we grew up in a one TV household, so I think that itself creates a lot of problems back in the day.

 

Anna:

Oh that wasn't so uncommon though, back when you were growing up I imagine.

 

Keiran:

No, but, I mean today it doesn't matter because first of all, we don't really use TV anymore, and then second of all everyone has their own thing. But ...

 

Anna:

Mm-hmm (affirmative) Yeah true.

 

Keiran:

I mean I didn't want to watch whatever show they were watching you know. It's kind of like a 3 against 1 thing, like "Oh, let's watch the show that appealing to them or me." You know, I would always lose out because it just, the majority wins on those right?

 

Anna:

Yeah. Well I suppose like you know, on the plus side, I mean it's a kind of a hashtag first world problem (laughter)

 

Keiran:

Yeah, yeah what a terrible life I had right?

 

Anna:

Especially when I think about the stories my mom told me about her growing up because she was, as I said, 1 of 5, but she had 4 brothers. So she was the only girl with 4 brothers. And of course, back when she was growing up, that meant she had to do all of the work.

 

Keiran:

Yeah

 

Anna:

You know, she had to help with all of the washing and the cleaning and the cooking, and that was her responsibility and the boys could just go play.

 

Keiran:

Yeah, I think I kind of got that, I mean it's, I kind of got that side of the deal in the sense that ... like my father I think is a very modern man. He washes the dishes, he cooks too, he at least ...

 

Anna:

Yeah so does mine.

 

Keiran:

But, when there's a family event, my family's a little odd in that, basically my father and I are the only males in our family so my mother has 3 sisters, and one of her sisters has 4 daughters ...

 

Anna:

Oh my gosh, Okay.

 

Keiran:

... her husband is divorced and dead. So we have a family thing it's like me and my father and then a whole bunch of women.

 

Anna:

Yeah, not a lot of Y chromosomes floating around I guess.

 

Keiran:

No but then that makes me a very special like, everyone's always like "Oh Keiran! The boy of the family!" And my sisters are like, "It's not fair, he gets treated special" you know?

 

Anna:

Well I mean, the good thing is that my mom, being the only girl, she was the only one who got her own room.

 

Keiran:

Right.

 

Anna:

So that was the benefit.

 

Keiran:

Yeah

 

Anna:

That was the only benefit, according to her, was that she got her own room.

 

Keiran:

Yeah, she gets a little privacy right.

 

Anna:

Yeah, exactly.

 

Keiran:

All right well Anna, it was great talking to you, but we gotta wrap this one up.

 

Anna:

Sure.

 

Keiran:

Thanks so much for coming on the podcast, this was a great conversation I would like to have you on again.

 

Anna:

Yeah, awesome I would love that.

 

Keiran:

All right

 

Anna:

Lovely to meet you.

 

Keiran:

Yeah it was great meeting you too, Bye bye!

 

Anna:

Bye!

 

Nov 28, 2016

Want to improve your English speaking abilities? Want to get some high pressure, intense yet fun practice. We hold the story telling challenge periodically to reward our listeners for working on their English. Today one of the winners, Mais, joins myself and Edward for a discussion about a topic that has been shrouded in controversy over the last few years. 

 

*** Transcript*** 

 

Keiran:

All right, what's up everyone? Today is the podcast for Monday, November 28th and we have one of the winners from the story telling challenge number two, Mais, on the podcast. How's it going, Mais?

 

Mais:

Good. How are you?

 

Keiran:

I'm good, I'm good. We also got Edward on the podcast. How's it going, Edward?

 

Edward:

I'm going well, I'm doing well.

 

Keiran:

You're doing well.

 

Edward:

It's going well, it's going well. Thank you.

 

Keiran:

All right, you guys want to get to know each other briefly for a minute?

 

Edward:

Sure. So this is the first time that we are meeting. Mais, so nice to meet you.

 

Mais:

Tru, nice to meet you too.

 

Edward:

Where are you, where are we speaking to you? No wait. Where are you, as we are speaking to you?

 

Mais:

Okay, right now I'm in Tampa, Florida, the US.

 

Edward:

Okay.

 

Mais:

Yeah.

 

Edward:

And what's the weather like in Tampa, Florida? It looks like ...

 

Mais:

Well, actually I'm scared to tell you because you might kill me.  while it's very cold over there while we're having very nice weather. It's like around 15 Celsius.

 

Edward:

Okay.

 

Mais:

Which is nice.

 

Edward:

Yeah, I think today's not too bad. I think it's probably about five degrees, so only about ten degrees difference today.

 

Keiran:

Yeah, I'd take the 15 though.

 

Mais:

Well, that is too much. Actually in a few hours it's going to go up to 26, 27 or something.

 

Edward:

Okay, then we'll be angry.

 

Keiran:

Yeah, then we'll be very ...

 

Edward:

We'll call you back in a few hours to yell at you.

 

Mais:

Yeah. Okay.

 

Keiran:

Let's start this conversation. Today we're going to talk about a controversial subject. It's been in the news a lot in the last few years in Montreal, and I'm sure it's been in the news in many places around the world.

 

 

So we're going to talk about the hijab or head coverings. Mais, can you tell us right off the bat, what do you think about ... Like a lot of people have a negative opinion in the western world about them. Do you think that they kind of take away freedoms from women? Or do you think that they give the woman a certain freedom in a certain way that western women maybe don't have?

 

Mais:

Yeah, well first of all it sounds bad right now that women have, or people in general, having bad or negative opinions toward it. But actually, I can see it from the positive way. It's nice to be curious about something. At that point you start to learn about it. Then that, if that wasn't happen like people would never be curious, like why those people are covering or doing this. Right?

 

Keiran:

Right. That's interesting, I never thought of it like that.

 

Mais:

Yeah, well I'm always trying to look at the positive side for every single ... like I believe that we are blessed with something called a Islamphobia. Actually it's something good that because it raised us to go back to our religion and study more, learn more, so we can ... And that's for our good, our own benefits.

 

 

Anyways, so the hijab actually is not, it's a kind of freedom. We do it first of all because we are Muslim and we believe in God, and this is God's instructions to us so we don't argue about it. But, why it's freedom? Because we actually tried by covering our heads or tried to dress in a certain way, is covering our physical beauty and try to manifest the beauty of our personalities. Beauty of mind and so we can interact with other people, specifically the other, the opposite sex in a way that more justice, like more fairness because we gonna talk about, we will discuss issues rather than just let them focus on how we do look like. Right? Well, it's not clear, probably I didn't make it clear.

 

 

 

Mais:

Yeah?

 

Edward:

I think I understand that idea, so basically to remove any distraction to ...

 

Mais:

Exactly. For example, [inaudible 00:04:32] went to people while apply for a job if the woman looks like, not like but similar, like where she has only to show her skills and her knowledge and cover her beauty, she will be equal to the man who is applying for the same job. Both of them will have the same chance or opportunity to get the job. When she's wearing half covered, half naked, she's going to be like she'll have more chance to get the job, not because she's qualified for that, just because she looks nice.

 

Keiran:

You're saying that the hijab can allow women to be seen for their work skills and for who they are rather than just for their looks.

 

Mais:

Yeah, you can focus on my thoughts, on my knowledge, on my personality. I can't, rather than my physical beauty.

 

Edward:

It still does have to do with beauty, though, in terms of you, the hijab that you're wearing now, is nicely decorated. There's still some fashion element, some aesthetic element to it. You 

 

Mais:

Then I'm doing it wrong and I should change it. I shouldn't do this anymore. That explains why some people wear the black ones or try to cover more or try to ... The idea is to look modest, to show that decency and modesty. If you are not doing this, then you are doing it in a wrong way. You should fix it.

 

Keiran:

Okay, so that's where just a plain of black color or a dark color, that's more of a modest choice.

 

Mais:

Exactly. And some people need to cover their faces as well and their hands. It's not just my opinion but for others like the  says they have to do this as long as they're a source of infatuation. If there's a source for that then she has to do it. As long as she won't attract anyone, like I'm here in the US. No one is going to look at me because they have other options much better. Then I won't be a source of infatuation. In Jedah, for example, in Saudi Arabia, in the same city there are some places where I can't go without covering my face because otherwise all people are going to stare at me and I would be just uncomfortable with the situation.

 

Keiran:

My thing is that like in one way I understand you and I think that makes sense in a certain sense, like if a woman is wearing that then it does take away like a certain relationship where the man may just see the woman as oh, she's a beautiful thing. She's something that I can have or something, you know like. In that sense it puts you as equals. At the same time, I think if a man can only see a woman's beauty and can't like interact with her on a higher level than that, then maybe kinda shows that the man is not really in control of his own energy and his own, himself.

 

 

Let's say if you did not have your head covering on right now and I was like, "Oh, my God. Mais is ..." If I couldn't interact with you normally ...

 

Mais:

Exactly. It's just like the sign. I'm sending you a sign. We do have limits. We can be friends. We're not going to cross that limit. It's not just for certain case which is me. It's applicable on everyone else.

 

Keiran:

I know, but I'm just talking about I've heard ... This is just something that I've heard. Some people when they go through the airport in Saudi, the women that don't, they're not Muslims, they don't have head covers, they get treated very strangely for them because the men in Saudi are not used to seeing that.

 

Mais:

Yeah, they're gonna stare at them. That's why in Saudi Arabia it's better for them to cover, at least at that part. Some other places in Judah, like Abdeen and some places like coffees shops and restaurants, you would never see anyone covered unfortunately. They call themselves Muslims but you won't see any single woman is covered with her scarf. I look weird to them when I go there. Yeah, it's based on that place, where are you. In general, I'm wearing my scarf first of all to tell people I'm a Muslim. What does that mean? It means that you are going to deal with someone with good manner character. Muslims have to be honest, have to be peaceful, love others, defend others, generous, compassionate, just and the list goes on. This will give you relief that who you are going to deal with.

 

 

Your neighbor, for instance, a Muslim then you expect what you're going to see. If you saw your coworker is a Muslim, then you'll ... It is important to cover my beauty but it's not just, it doesn't stop at that point. It means a lot of other things as well.

 

Edward:

Obviously this is tradition and it has a long history to it, but why is it that men have never had to wear the equivalent of a hijab? Why is it that men don't offer the same distractions. There's a very handsome man. I don't care what he's saying. I don't care what his ideas. I'll look at his face, very handsome. Why isn't there the equivalent for men?

 

Keiran:

Because, this is my thing, but because men are not primary valued for their beauty. It's kinda a sad reality that as women ... You know this. In Asian countries like Korea, if a woman's 30 and she's not married, then she's pretty much considered finished. Its' the end of the line. Their primary value is their beauty. It's not accurate. It's not realistic. Like a woman can be beautiful and be very capable of doing many things, but that's my opinion. What do you think about that, Mais? What's your opinion about why men have never had to have a hijab?

 

Mais:

Well the men part of hijab actually is to lowering their gaze when they are going to see someone which is pretty nice or beauty. They have to lower. They shouldn't stare or keep staring or gazing at her. Why they don't cover their hair, for instance, because usually the the woman who spends most of her time and effort on fixing her hair in order to look more pretty, the men doesn't do the same thing in order to look handsome.

 

Edward:

Some men might. I mean, maybe it's more common in North American than in the Middle East, but some men will grow their hair out long and spend just as much time treating their hair as a woman.

 

Mais:

How would you look at them, like you? Don't you going to see them they are silly?

 

Edward:

Well not necessarily silly. It's not something that ... I'm not going to spend 45 minutes or an hour doing my hair, but maybe if my hair was beautiful and long and luscious, then ...

 

Mais:

I don't think it's just normal for men to do that. Actually, how a woman would look at a man, not on their faces maybe, on their buddies when they work out or look nice, okay, this is an attractive man. If he's spending time on fixing his eyebrows or his hair, it's I don't know, worse than a woman. I don't want such a man.

 

Keiran:

Right, traditionally it's seen as a bit feminine but I think it's more common in Korea. Korea is the number one seller of men's makeup.

 

Edward:

Yeah, I think men's makeup is becoming more common. Okay, to me again, I would not wear makeup because I'm not expected to wear makeup and it doesn't really appeal to me.

 

Keiran:

And you're so handsome.

 

Edward:

I'm already naturally so handsome. You know, you can see I have a beard. Sometimes I get comments from other men or from women. They say, "Oh, your beard looks nicely trimmed," as if I have worked all morning to make it perfect. But it's not true, but some people might look at me and think, "Oh, he must spend a lot of time grooming himself."  So it does relate. There are, I'm sure, some people who would think it's quite similar in terms of the effort that men and women are putting into their appearance.

 

Mais:

Again, you won't be a source of infatuation.

 

Edward:

I won't be?

 

Mais:

You won't.

 

Edward:

I'm very disappointed, then.

 

Mais:

No, you won't be. Yeah, you look nice. You look good, but okay. That's it. You're not going to do a problem, cause a problem. The hijab is more about behavior, manner. It's like speech and appearance and all. It's multiple elements together just to look modest in order to save, like the woman going to save herself, her family, and eventually the whole community or the whole society.

 

Keiran:

Let's move on quickly to one more thing. I want to talk about you said at the beginning Islamophobia is kind of like you look at it in a positive way because now people are becoming more curious about Islam. I think a lot of people probably in North America or in some European countries, their Islamophobia, maybe part of it comes from all the terrorist acts that happen once in a while, but the other part of it comes from the belief that they're not going to integrate into the culture because I think you know the religion with a lot of people is very strong. They pray five times a day. They take their religion very seriously whereas some North American people are very relaxed about their religion. I know for one thing, you are someone who has integrated very well. You go out and you connect with people in the North American culture who are not part of the Muslim world. What do you think about that? Do you think that it's important for them to integrate or do you think most people will? Do you think that this is an issue?

 

Mais:

I think what you are talking about is just available on the media or how some people try to manifest the issue. In reality, no. Did you meet or have you ever met someone who wasn't able to get involved in any issue or ...

 

Keiran:

I would say Edward and I worked at an ESL school, not at the same time but at the same school. There was many Saudi students. There was many Libyan students. I know it depends on the student. Some students there was no way they were ever going to integrate. They came to the class. They did the class. They left. They didn't really mix with other students.

 

Mais:

Do you know why?

 

Keiran:

I just think it was they were too ... I don't know. I don't know why. I think they're very deeply involved in their religion.

 

Edward:

The students that I'm thinking of, they were very conservative.

 

Keiran:

Yeah, very conservative.

 

Edward:

I had different students. I had Saudi students and the men and the women. Just one woman in particular, she chose to wear a burka, I mean a full niqab, I think even a full burka in class. She had to sit beside female students. She had to do assignments with female students because her husband was also a student there. I think she was just very conservative in her values. She would not even speak to another Saudi student's father if they met on the street. So I think she was just very, very conservative. That was her reason.

 

Mais:

Well, yeah because this is the way how she raise. Okay, then, yeah I would say she's a Muslim and she conservative, but it's not something applicable to every single Muslim. This is her case. This is her environment that she was raised on. It doesn't mean that Muslims are the same way. Muslims you're going to, when you go to the east and you visit Saudi Arabia or Syria or Jordan or Lebanon, you're going to see different things, different traditions, different environments. In Judah itself, the city where I have been raised as I told you, you're going to see different things in different societies in there. It's not about maybe religion. I don't think that Muslims cannot integrate because I hear like there is 35,000 Muslim in Tampa. It's pretty important for us. It's from our religion, actually, to go and integrate with a society, to help and interact with people because this is how we going to let people know what our religion.

 

 

Some people try just to go to see what, to find the spots where Muslims are located and just to go with them, but when you talk to the Islamic scholars they are against this idea. No, you have to reach the places where you won't find Muslims because the something? is coming from inside you. It's not something you cannot acquire it.

 

Edward:

Actually just recently in Montreal there was a news story about a man who, a Muslim man from Egypt who came to Canada who wants to start a community. Everybody's paying attention to this because his idea is to start a community, a Muslim community, but he's saying the only reason it's a Muslim community is because he wants to buy property and he figured it's easier to buy property with other people. Who does he ask first? He asks his friends who happen to be Muslim because just because they're his closest friends. Those are the people he knows. People, maybe they wouldn't pay attention to this if I decided to buy land and I asked my friends to help me. Nobody would care, but because he's Muslim it becomes, "Wait, do we want an all Muslim community only 30 minutes from Montreal? What are they going to do? What are they going to plan?"

 

 

I heard him talking on the radio and I felt sorry for him because nobody understands what he's actually trying to do. He wasn't even able to explain it clearly because he was saying one thing and then backtracking saying, "No, I will invite anybody to come but I am asking these people first. If I don't have to ask other people, I won't ask other people."

 

 

Then, "Oh, so you don't want other people."

 

 

It's hard for people, I think, just to look at the situation and not be influenced by what they already think.

 

Keiran:

The media and .

 

Edward:

The way the media covers it, too. It's not a news story but they make it a news story. People think, "Oh, then we should be worried."

 

Keiran:

Right. All right, this has been interesting but we're going to have to wrap it up because I got to actually have the ... I have a student very shortly. But Mais, thank you so much for coming on and having this discussion with us.

 

Mais:

My pleasure.

 

Keiran:

Thank you, Edward, for coming too.

 

Edward:

My pleasure.

 

Keiran:

If you guys listening to the podcast have any comments or any opinions about this subject, yeah, put it in the comment section below. We'll catch you next time on the next podcast of Uncensored English.

 

Mais:

Okay.

 

Nov 26, 2016

How to improve become more fluent in group conversations. 

Do you sometimes struggle in group conversations in English? Do you find you lose your confidence or you have trouble following? Today we discuss group conversations and a technique you can use to force yourself into the group conversation. Also we briefly compare ESL teachers and Online English teachers while I discuss the ad I launched.

Nov 23, 2016

Do you want to skip the line at the grocery store, today I teach you a sentence that helps you do this.. at least in Canada. 

 

 

**** Transcript****

 

 

Keiran:

What's up everybody? It is Wednesday! It's Wednesday, it's hump day it's a day where I don't have to work, it's a day where I can sleep all day, it's Wednesday! Hope it's going good for you. Hump day's a funny day isn't it? Because everyone's like, "Yes! The week is half over, half over!" That's kind of sad, that you hate the majority of the week, you're just like, "Oh, I just have to get through the week to get to Friday. On Friday things will be good." Then on Saturday you don't have to work. Then on Sunday you start to feel like shit because you know that Monday's coming.

 

But I love Wednesday! I don't have to work on Wednesday, but I like to work anyways, I work on my podcast, I do it for free. I work on my podcast, I don't get money, but it's fun, it's fun, it's good for you, so listen to it if you know what's good for you.

  

So today on the podcast, I want to talk about that idiom we did on Monday with Edward which was, "It boggles my mind, it boggles my mind". We're going to talk about something that boggles my mind. The thing that we're going to talk about that boggles my mind, is this thing that was in the newspaper last week, this story that happened last week. And my mom, she just kept talking about it to me, and she just kept talking about it, and talking about ... and then it's actually gone deep enough into my mind that I've been thinking about it. So I thought, "Fuck it's in there, why don't we just talk about it, right?" It's pretty silly. I'm going to read a little bit of this article to you, it was in the ... what newspaper was it anyway? Here let me find it. Okay, it was the Star. Star.com. I don't know what that is, that must be Toronto.

 

 

All right, this is the article title. "The grey what? Outcry as the grey jay named Canada's national bird. The grey jay, also known as the whiskey jack, is friendly, hardy, and intelligent ... just like Canadians," hah hah hah, "experts say."

 

 

So basically, the Royal Canadian Geographic Society had a vote about which bird people should choose to represent Canada, and they decided to choose the grey jay, and people are upset about it. They're like, "What? What the hell's the grey jay? I've never heard about that before. Why are we picking the grey jay? Why don't we pick the loon, you know, the one that goes 'woo'," which is the sound a loon makes, it's pretty cool.

 

 

Uh so people are outraged about it, they're angry, and it just boggled my mind. Why do you care so much about what bird a little group of people decided was important? It really ... it's insignificant, right? But I read a little bit about the grey jay and it's actually a pretty cool bird. It's found all over Canada. It's the only bird that's found all across Canada, I'm pretty sure. Maybe seagulls are found in ... nah, I bet seagulls aren't in the middle of Canada. And then it's very intelligent apparently, it's a hardy bird. It can withstand harsh ... a harsh environment, harsh weather. Apparently it incubates its egg in minus 30 degrees temperatures. That's amazing. So it's a good parent.

People are upset, and it just boggles my mind. These people, literally someone somewhere in the world was like, "What, the grey jay, what the fuck is that? Why didn't we ... Choose the loon, choose the snowy owl, choose the Canadian goose!" I don't think we should call the Canadian goose the Canadian goose, because it goes to Florida for the winter. I think it needs to be like the Canadian-American goose or something. Anyways, that's it about that.

 I want to share with you guys another little story, another little English sentence you can use, and I ... about two years ago when my daughter was two years old, I spent lots of time with her. There's this thing that happens with young children which you know if you ever spent a lot of time with young children, is that they are either not aware of their body or they're not good at communicating it. And you do this thing when you go anywhere with a young child, is that when you go outside, you always say, "Okay, do you need to go pee, because we're going to be in the car for a while," and then the kid will inevitably go, "No, I'm okay." Then you get in the car, and as soon as you have driven far enough from the house that you can't make it back in time for them to go to the bathroom, then they have to go to the bathroom. 

One day we were at the grocery store, and then we're in the store there shopping and my daughter's like, "Daddy, I need to go pee," and it's just like, "Oh no." I picked her up with one arm, we ran to the front of the store. I only had one thing so I went to the front of the cache and I said, "You know, do you mind if I go in front of you? My daughter really has to pee." The woman looked at me, then she looked at my hand, and she said, "Well, you only have one thing, so I you can go." I was like well, okay, I thought the pee was the main reason, but I guess it's the one thing.

 

But something clicked in my head that I can probably do this any time. Since then, I have done that many times. If I only have one or two things, I just go to the front of the line and say, "Hi, I only have this. Do you mind if I go in front of you, because I only have one thing," and usually they let you go by.

 

So I was at the grocery store on Saturday and I go, I have only one thing, I've got a pack of Shin Ramyun, which is my favorite ramen. It's a Korean ramen, it's spicy. It's not good for you, don't eat it guys, it's ... I should not be eating it either.

 

Anyways I go to the front of the line, there's two people. I go to the second person, I'm like, "Hey man, I only have one thing, do you mind if I go in front of you?" He's like, "Yeah yeah, sure." I go in front of him, and then the other person is in front of me. I look at the other person, and it's my dad. So I tap him on the shoulder, he's like, "Yep." He doesn't look back. I'm like, "Sir, do you mind if I go in front of you in line?" He's like, "Yeah sure." Then he turns around and sees me and he's like, "Hell no you're not going in front of the line!" Then the guy behind me, who already let me in front of the line, starts laughing, he goes, "Heh heh heh what an asshole." I'm like, "Yeah, I know!" Then my dad started laughing, and I was laughing, and the guy behind us was laughing. But of course, he's not going to let me go in front of me, because he ... because I'm his son, right? He doesn't care. He knows I'm not going anywhere important at that time of the day on Saturday.

 

That's it guys, so you can try that out. Let me know if that works in your country. Do you mind if I go in front of you, I only have one thing? I wonder, is this a Canadian thing, because we have a reputation for being very polite, or is this a worldwide thing that you can just butt in front of someone if you only have one thing? 

All right guys, that's the end of the podcast, so remember: it boggles my mind, use it, write a few sentences, share it with a friend, and do you mind if I go in front of you, I only have one thing, a little weird little life hack for skipping the line if you only have a few items.

 

All right, I hope you enjoyed this podcast, I'll catch you on the next podcast of Uncensored English.

Nov 21, 2016

Have you ever needed to express that you're confused in English? Here' s a great way that native speakers often do that. 

 

***Transcript***

Keiran:

Today on Uncensored English, Edward is back on the podcast and we talk about a great idiom you can use to express that you are confused about something. All right. Let's get this podcast started. The following podcast is not intended for younger audiences. It contains coarse language, adult topics, controversial ideas, and is riddled with insanity. Listeners' discretion is strongly advised. What's up everybody? This is Keiran, the Crazy Canadian, and welcome to another podcast of Uncensored English, because English isn't always PC. What's up, everyone? How's it going. Today is Monday, the ... I forgot the date, of course. Monday, the Twenty-First of November. Thank you, Edward, for giving me some nice little hand signs to let me know what date it was.

 

Edward:

No problem.

 

Keiran:

Great, and yeah, today Edward's back on the podcast. How's it going, Edward?

 

Edward:

Things are going well. How are you doing, Keiran?

 

Keiran:

I'm pretty good asides from not knowing what date it is.

 

Edward:

Now that's a little troubling, I guess.

 

Keiran:

Yeah, considering my work-

 

Edward:

Yeah.

 

Keiran:

Runs on a pretty strict schedule-

 

Edward:

All of the students that you saw today-

 

Keiran:

Oh, it's funny.

 

Edward:

Hopefully, you were in the right class.

 

Keiran:

Yeah, hopefully, it was the right students.

 

Edward:

Yeah.

 

Keiran:

Anyways, today we're going to talk about a really fun idiom that has to do with confusion, and that idiom is, "It boggles my mind," or "It boggles his mind," or "It boggles-

 

Edward:

"The mind."

 

Keiran:

"The mind." Of course, it boggles the mind means, it confuses you or confuses someone-

 

Edward:

That's right, yeah. You cannot understand it.

 

Keiran:

You cannot understand how that happened.

 

Edward:

What happened?

 

Keiran:

What happened? Why it happened?

 

Edward:

Who made it happen?

 

Keiran:

I have no idea.

 

Edward:

Right.

 

Keiran:

Today I was wondering, if you can share a story with us, about something in your life that boggled your mind, or someone else's mind?

 

Edward:

Okay, let me think about boggling minds. Actually, I don't know why, but a couple of days ago, I was thinking about this story.

 

Keiran:

Okay.

 

Edward:

In this story, my mind was not boggled, but I boggled someone else's mind.

 

Keiran:

Okay, so you confused someone else.

 

Edward:

I really did a really good job of confusing someone else, and this was back when I first went to Korea, I had only been in the country for about a week.

 

Keiran:

Okay.

 

Edward:

I was in this small town and I was going to go visit my friend in a larger city.

 

Keiran:

Okay.

 

Edward:

I had to take the train there, and I knew that there was a train station in my little town-

 

Keiran:

Okay.

 

Edward:

I hadn't seen it. I just knew that my town was small enough that I could find it, right? What I did was, I packed my stuff, and it was like an early Saturday morning, and I just decided I was going to like walk into the middle of the town, and ask someone where the train station was.

 

Keiran:

Right.

 

Edward:

At this point, I could basically, in Korean, I could say, "Excuse me."

 

Keiran:

Yeah, that's scary.

 

Edward:

It's an interesting thing.

 

Keiran:

That's a really scary thing to do.

 

Edward:

It's an interesting experience to have, right?

 

Keiran:

Right.

 

Edward:

Any language that you really don't know, in a place that you're not familiar with, you're just trying to do something so simple.

 

Keiran:

Yeah.

 

Edward:

Something we could do without even thinking about it-

 

Keiran:

Yeah.

 

Edward:

Here, in Canada.

 

Keiran:

Yeah. I remember that in Korea, the first time I took the subway, and it was the first time I had talked to someone. I tried to talk to someone in Korean. It was probably one of the most intense moments of my life.

 

Edward:

Right.

 

Keiran:

I was alone on the subway, and there's a few people there, and I just said to this old man like, "[inaudible 00:04:24]." He's like, "Oh," and he was very happy.

 

Edward:

Yeah.

 

Keiran:

I was like, "[inaudible 00:04:29]." I just started counting numbers, right?

 

Edward:

Yeah, you're just like proud of yourself-

 

Keiran:

Yeah.

 

Edward:

For being able-

 

Keiran:

He was like, "Oh, yes."

 

Edward:

Yeah.

 

Keiran:

Okay, so what happened-

 

Edward:

Okay.

 

Keiran:

Like when you had to ask for a-

 

Edward:

All right, so I'm getting ready to leave, and I have my Korean English Dictionary.

 

Keiran:

Okay.

 

Edward:

I figure, "Okay, I'm going to see how to say train station." I look up the first word, train. [Keecha 00:04:57]. Okay, that's pretty easy, keecha. I look up the word station, and I just see YOK. The O has this little symbol over it, it's like Korean written out in English, but with special symbols-

 

Keiran:

Okay.

 

Edward:

For pronunciation. I don't know the pronunciation, the symbols, what they mean-

 

Keiran:

Okay.

 

Edward:

I see YOK, and I think, "Yok."

 

Keiran:

Okay.

 

Edward:

"Yok," right? I'm saying, "Keecha yok, keecha yok," okay, I'm getting my stuff together. "Keecha yok, keecha yok. [inaudible 00:05:27]" That's me practicing, right?

 

Keiran:

Yeah.

 

Edward:

I leave my apartment, I hit the street. It's early Saturday morning. No one is around. I'm walking, walking kind of towards the center of town. Finally, I see someone and it's an old man. This elderly gentleman sees me, and he's already confused, just to see me on the street, I guess.

 

Keiran:

A white man.

 

Edward:

I decided I'm going to ask him. There's nobody else around. I start, I say, "[inaudible 00:06:05] keecha yok, keecha yok," and he's looking at me. I'm like, "Keecha," and I'm making like the train movements with my arms for the wheels and-

 

Keiran:

Yeah.

 

Edward:

Gears turning. I say, "Yok, yok, yok."

 

Keiran:

Okay.

 

Edward:

The man had no idea what I was talking about.

 

Keiran:

Okay.

 

Edward:

I just kept saying, "Yok, yok," anyways, it didn't work. Okay. He had no idea. I looked at him. He was looking at me with the blankest stare you could imagine. Anyways, I just walk into town. Eventually, I find the train station, no problem, because the town was so small, but I told my Korean co-teachers about this a couple of days later. It turns out that I was saying, "Yok," instead of "Yuk."

 

Keiran:

Oh, okay.

 

Edward:

Yuk is station. Yok means swear word, so-

 

Keiran:

Oh, that's great.

 

Edward:

Initially, I thought, "Oh, was I swearing at this old man?" No, it wasn't as bad as that. I wasn't swearing at him. I was just saying, "Swear word, swear word, swear word," again and again.

 

Keiran:

Oh, that's funny, man.

 

Edward:

Anyways, I can understand why-

 

Keiran:

Yeah.

 

Edward:

This elderly man was so confused, and why-

 

Keiran:

Yeah, you boggled his mind.

 

Edward:

I definitely boggled his mind. The whole situation was perfect for boggling his mind.

 

Keiran:

Great. That's pretty funny, and if you wonder, if you guys are wondering about boggle, I'm not actually, I probably should have [blew 00:07:49] this up before, but I just know that boggle is a classic game, right?

 

Edward:

Yeah.

 

Keiran:

It's a word game, right?

 

Edward:

It is, and it's kind of a ... You mix up all these letters, and they randomly fall-

 

Keiran:

Right, you have like this plastic cube with all these letters, sort of in place, and then you shake it, and all the letters get mixed up, or they get boggled up.

 

Edward:

Right.

 

Keiran:

That's why you boggled his mind.

 

Edward:

That's right.

 

Keiran:

Oh.

 

Edward:

I mixed his brain right up.

 

Keiran:

Right, oh, that's funny, man. Bad word. Curse words.

 

Edward:

Yeah.

 

Keiran:

Yeah, I remember, I had a boggled mind once. When I was in Korea, also in Korea, I went to go see Ben, our friend, Ben. I went up there with another friend of ours, [Ally 00:08:38]. We went up to Ben's place to go, we were all going to go skiing the next day, or snowboarding, I don't remember which one we were going to do, but the night Ally and I arrived, her, I, and Ben, we all went out to a bar. We all drank a lot. We had a crazy night. We all got home. Then the next day, I just remember, I woke up and they were both just passed out. I was so, I felt so nauseous.

 

 

I'm just like, "Oh, my God. I need air." I got my jacket, and I put my jacket on, and went for like a walk, for like 20 to 30 minutes. I think it was 20 or 30 minutes, maybe it was longer. Then I came back, and then like I knocked on the door, and nobody answered the door. I knocked, and I knocked, and nobody answered the door. Then I just like I was mad, I was pounding the door, and no one answered. After a while, I gave up, and I had no idea. My mind was completely boggled, right?

 

Edward:

Yeah.

 

Keiran:

After a while, I'm like, "Oh, I got to go get some food." I walked around the town, and I didn't know the town, I couldn't speak Korean, I didn't know anyone in there. Then I saw Brian, and Brian looked at me, and I think I looked like a mess-

 

Edward:

Brian who is Ben's friend?

 

Keiran:

Brian was Ben's friend, and I think Brian's mind was completely boggled to see me, like a hungover me, just walking around, like ah. "Brian."

 

Edward:

Yeah.

 

Keiran:

Then he, I mean, he's like, "Hey, how's it going?" Then like I told him what happened.

 

Edward:

Yeah.

 

Keiran:

Then he, he's like, "Oh, just come over to my house. We'll hang out." A few hours later, like it's not fun hanging out with an older person for a long period of time.

 

Edward:

Yeah.

 

Keiran:

I think his mind was completely boggled. Like, "Why am I hanging out with this hungover person?" Like at the end of the day, when Ben, and I finally found Ben and Ally like, literally, at the end of the day. Like 7 or 8 o'clock. I think Brian was there, too.

 

Edward:

Yeah.

 

Keiran:

I think Brian was just like, "Ah, I'm so mad at Ben." Like Ben was, like I think Ben, Ben's mind was not boggled at all. He knew why I was mad.

 

Edward:

Yeah.

 

Keiran:

Why Brian was mad.

 

Edward:

What happened?

 

Keiran:

They waited for me, and they called me many times, but I had my phone in my pocket, and my phone was on silent, so it never, I never heard it. They just couldn't get in touch with me.

 

Edward:

Okay.

 

Keiran:

They decided to go skiing-

 

Edward:

Without you.

 

Keiran:

On their own.

 

Edward:

Oh, man.

 

Keiran:

Which I wasn't a fan of that decision.

 

Edward:

No.

 

Keiran:

At the same time, that didn't boggle my mind, because why would you sit around all day and wait for someone who's not answering their phone? When I was there like 20 minutes ago.

 

Edward:

Right.

 

Keiran:

Like maybe they thought I just got angry, or I was unhappy, or hungover, so I went home.

 

Edward:

Everybody's mind was boggled.

 

Keiran:

Everyone's mind was boggled.

 

Edward:

At some point in the day.

 

Keiran:

Right.

 

Edward:

Brian was thinking, "Why is he the one that's left to take care of you?"

 

Keiran:

He was probably, like I think his mind was probably boggled the most, because like he had to endure like a hungover person, because Ben was skiing.

 

Edward:

Okay.

 

Keiran:

Without me. I should say, "Ben and Ally," it wasn't all Ben.

 

Edward:

Right.

 

Keiran:

Yeah, that was a mind boggling day.

 

Edward:

Ah, see and I think we probably had a lot of mind boggling experiences, especially early on in Korea.

 

Keiran:

Yeah, for sure. What's something that's boggled your mind recently?

 

Edward:

Something that has boggled my mind recently? Gosh, you're putting me on the spot here with another boggling story.

 

Keiran:

Let's think of short things here, like it boggles my mind that Trump was elected.

 

Edward:

Yeah, it's over a week ago, so if you would asked me this question a week ago, I think I would have been in full boggle mode. Now it's like, as strange as the situation is, you're getting used to it. You've said it a few times, so yeah, it is boggling though. Definitely-

 

Keiran:

It's mind boggling.

 

Edward:

It's mind boggling, yes. Any other boggling issues that need to be mentioned here?

 

Keiran:

I think we're out of mind boggling ideas right now. All right.

 

Edward:

I'm getting a little mind boggled.

 

Keiran:

No worries. This has been a great podcast, guys. If you guys like this, please remember, rate it, review it, subscribe to us on the podcast, share it with your friends, if you have friends who are learning English. We hope we didn't boggle your minds, but if we did, then listen to it again, and your mind will probably be less boggled.

 

Edward:

That's right.

 

Keiran:

All right. All right, guys. That's it for today and we'll catch you on the next podcast of Uncensored English.

 

Nov 19, 2016

Do you want to correct the mistakes you make while speaking a little quicker? Today we discuss error corrections, professionalism, and say hello to a special guest.

***No transcript, video available on youtube channel --> 

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