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Looking for a different angle on English language podcasts? Keiran the crazy Canadian goes where the other English podcasts don't... and more. Keiran and his native English guests discuss politically incorrect subjects as well as general English language, idioms, expressions, culture and more all while having natural unscripted conversations. This podcasts feature an educational exploration of language ranging from every day expressions, pop culture expressions, explicit language and anything in between. The podcast is geared towards adults students, professionals, university students as well as ESL teachers who want to step out of the "Safe Space" of the English language education community and have a little more fun. Join Keiran and his guests in their down to earth humorous conversations and learn to speak a more universal edgy form of English like a native! English ISN'T always PC!!!
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Now displaying: February, 2017
Feb 27, 2017

Last time we talked with David he had just gotten home from travelling. Today on the podcast, he's still travelling. Does that guy ever work? We talk about conquering doubt in a language and travelling with little planning. 

 

*** Transcript*** 

 

Keiran: Hey everyone, How's it going? Today we have a more regular guest back from the podcast. How's it going, David?

David: Hey, Keiran. It is going really really well. It’s a bit chilly here, which means, I am not in Australia anymore.

Keiran: So, where are you at? But yeah things are going fine.

David: I’m currently in the heart of Europe. I mean, Slovakia, right on the north border.

Keiran: Okay.

David: So, basically, I used to work in Slovakia. I worked here for 3 years. So, this is a little visit, just to say, hi to everyone, and hi to my old teachers and old students.

Keiran: Alright, cool. David, last time we did the podcast, you were talking about travelling and experiences in Southeast Asia

David: Yes!

Keiran: Which was not too long ago.

David: That’s true, couple of months ago, I think

Keiran: Seems like you get around a lot, in the travelling sense.

David: I think this will be my last major journey for quite a few months. Maybe, I’ll do something at the end of the year, but, yeah, but I’m not planning to do, too quickly, after this.

Keiran: David, I know because of our podcast in the past, and you just said, you have have lived in Slovakia before, right?

David: Yep, 3 years teaching, and living here.

Keiran:  And to what degree did you learn the language when you were there?

David: Really good question. I’ll say, for the first year, I was still very much at elementary level. It is very tempting when you are out of your comfort zone to try to hold on to your comfort zone.

Keiran:  Great!

David: I was still talking in English when I could, and watching English TV Series, and reading in English. So, admittedly, I was a bit slack. A couple for years later, which was my last year in Slovakia, I was up to conversation level. I’d say intermediate, which was absolutely fine. Everyone in town knew I wasn’t, like, a local. And they were very very tolerant and yeah. I could actually enjoy proper conversations with friends without resorting to English.

Keiran:  Great. Great. I noticed sort of studied French for my own courses back in October. Basically now, I feel like I can have pretty fluent conversations. I feel a lot more confident. It’s interesting how a language get’s rusty. Have you noticed that the language came back to you automatically, or did you have to put a little work in? What was the process for you in Slovakia, these days?

David: That’s a really really good question because there is this whole process of remembering it. It really surprises you when you are when you're re-immersed. How much do you actually do remember and you just hear phrases and pieces of conversation or you see something like a sign or an article and then a whole chunk of information will come back. Let’s see….. but yeah.. it’s not a smooth transit, because between my last time in Slovakia and now I’d spend a year in Russia and I’m still finding myself responding or wanting to respond with Russian phrases and Russian words. I still have to think a bit before I say anything and confirm in my own mind, that I am going to say something in Slovaak and something that is not Russian for Example.

Keiran: David you said. Yeah go ahead

David: I think I was going to say that there is a little bit of control that needs to be there, if I want to go back to a regular Slovak conversation.

Keiran: Right. You gotta put a little bit of effort in, right?

David: Exactly, yes. Just not to distract yourself.

Keiran: Right. I’m curious. Have you done or are you doing anything different than you did the first time? I know what you said in the first year, you kind of held on to the English because you are out of your comfort zone. And, myself, when I started doing French four months ago, I learnt French the traditional way in school. It was forced on me and I kind of regretted it.

David: Forced on you That’s the school way

Keiran: Yeah they rape you with language, and this time around, it was a choice that I did on my own. I surrounded myself with French. You know, I go in the car and the radio is in French. I watch a movie, and it’s in French. I read a book and it’s in French. I’m wondering, have you done anything differently, this time around? Or have you done anything to.., or even maybe in your third year in Slovakia, did you do something to facilitate the speaking of the language?

 

David: Definitely. There were a couple of things. Yes, I started focusing a lot more on reading. I had a couple of books in Slovak. Just storybooks. Honestly, storybooks for children, but that’s the way it goes. I was watching a really good TV Series called The Professionals. It is a Police Comedy in from Slovakia and there are no subtitles. So I couldn’t even have that as an option. I just had to listen and try to understand as much as I could. Just before coming back this time, I pulled at the memorize app and went through a few Slovak courses just to remind myself and actually just to train myself to choose those words.

 

Keiran: Oh great. You’re doing like space repetition and flashcards on your phone.

David: Yes Exactly. It’s been a bit more about training. Mentally, this time.

Keiran: Yeah, that’s so simple and so many people don’t do that. It frustrates me when I tell them, you know, just find useful sentences and put them in a flash card program, and you’ll be amazed how much quicker you’ll start using the language you need, right?

David: Yep. Repetition and recognition. These are really really valuable, especially this time. I noticed, this time, I’m communicating with people and also saying hello to people I have never spoken English to, but always spoken Slovak to. How would I say, I’m not second guessing myself this time. I’m actually diving straight into the conversation.  Even if I picked the wrong word or a phrase comes out in Russian, that won’t stop me. I’ll still dive straight into the conversation.

Keiran: Ah you mean, you mean like.. I know what you mean. You mean, sometimes you’re talking to someone and you’re saying something and you’re like ‘ah am I right, am I saying the right word’ or..

David: Exactly. So, less doubtful, this time.

Keiran: Yeah, that just deflates your confidence to have that second guessing attitude. So what’s been the change that allowed you to drop that?

David: Good question. I guess it is the familiarity with the town and the people. And yah, I think when I talk to people, they can sense that I am a lot more confident event though I am making errors. The confidence is still a big factor and I’ll actively listen and I’ll spend less time worrying about how I’ll sound or If I’ll even say something comprehensible.

Keiran: I imagine that also helps like you’ve been a language instructor for how long now?

David: Let’s say close to ten years now.

Keiran: That is a lot.

David: It is.

Keiran: So basically, you are an expert in teaching English, right? I imagine that also helps to know that you had over ten years, so many students, and you know that even if they can’t express themselves perfectly, they don’t have to be perfect. I mean, communication is not so much of a perfectionism, but just getting your message across and connecting to people. Alright.

David: Yeah, definitely, and making the mistakes and going through that process and even feeling a bit frustrated and maybe embarrassed. I simply tell my students in class that they don’t need to know everything. It’s not an exam, it was a class. It’s training.

Keiran: Right

David: Sometimes I want them to make mistakes. Sometimes I want them to say the wrong things. And then we can take that time to clarify what’s correct and then we’ll forget it.

Keiran: Right.

David: Because I know, I forget my mistakes.

Keiran: Yeah, mistakes. I think the first step is you know, being aware of them and even sometimes you’re aware of them, you keep making them for a while, but there comes a point, where you start noticing your own mistakes. It’s natural. I think ,in school we are trained, oh you make a mistake, you’re dumb. You know, It’s not simple to learn to speak a language that has a new structure easily, because you have your old language structure in the back of your head, right?

David: Definitely, you always want to resort to that, because, it is familiar and also comfortable. I think just trying out the new things and making the learning process a whole new discovery. I think a wonderful wonderful experience, and probably that’s why I enjoyed coming back to  Slovak, because sometimes I need to rewire my thinking, in order to communicate properly.

Keiran: Right. Great. David, before we always have a podcast, we always have a few messages back and forth, to choose a time. The last few times, every time we do it, your messages are always in the realm of ‘oh I’m travelling from here to here at this time, maybe we can do here. We can maybe meet this time’. And I’m always on the other hand always like, oh this guy’s life is so much more exciting than mine, and right before the session, you were talking about you have a plan to go to Barcelona airport in the next two weeks, right?

David:  Yes, yes, I’m flying out of Barcelona back to Australia.

Keiran: But between that time, you don’t really have a plan set.

David: It’s a giant question mark, yes. I think, that is part of my travel style. I want to a degree get myself into trouble a bit. I’m trying to workout a way out. So, this is not a completely planned trip. This is a half planned trip. I planned as far as Slovakia. In the next couple of weeks, I have to pull my act together on the fly, and somehow fly out of Spain later. I mean, obviously, there are flights and there is transport and I have plenty of time. The challenge is always organizing that time, which is fun.

Keiran: Right, There’s this aspect of being in the moment and being spontaneous, which I think is the best part of travelling. And I always thought there are two kinds of travel styles. There’s what you’re doing which is totally, you know, off the cut, and I’m gonna leave myself in space to do whatever I want, and then there’s other people who map and plan every single item on their itinerary. I just feel like the second travel style is…, I mean, it maybe it is for some people but it just seems like you’re not alive if you know what you’re doing, in like three days from now. Everything’s kind of static.

David: Yeah, Yeah, I think that this is still a happy medium because my father actually does the package tours, and he enjoys that, and that’s suitable for him, and it’s comfortable, and he uses the package tours to explore the UK. If you don’t have a guide which is, of course, very very useful. I think myself is a bit like the backpacker style, where you literally get up in the morning and think okay where am I going to go today. Yeah this is definitely like this buzz you get when you know when you have to make the choice and there is no plan, but you have to direct yourself somehow.

Keiran: And yeah, and that was always the downer when I came back home and all of sudden the mystery and spontaneity kind of like saps up and it’s gone.

David: Yep, Exactly. Actually, it’s also, it’s one of the beauties of being in Europe, and I love travelling on the trains here, and I think, when you’re at a train station, and you’re literally thinking okay which seating am I going to go, to which direction do I want to go, and you have these options open in front of you. And that’s definitely you can do in Europe, not so easy in Australia. Yeah, because we have cities, but they are much much farther apart. We don’t have the zigzag option that you do have in Europe.

Keiran: Well, David, I think we are gonna have to wrap this up because I’m starting to get depressed.

David: oh I’m so sorry.

Keiran: But how much fun you’re having.

David: Ok, I’ll have a drink for you.

Keiran: Yeah, exactly, but David, thanks so much for coming in the podcast again.

David: Keiran it's been a pleasure as always. Trying to plan it.

Keiran: Alright man, well enjoy the rest of your travels, and I hope it all goes well for you.

David: Ok, cheers, and we’ll talk soon.

Keiran: Alright, ciao David!

David: Ciao!

 

Feb 25, 2017

Wow! We've been doing this 1 year already! We're celebrating the 1 year anniversary of UE by giving away 4 hours of free sessions for participating in the story telling challenge and review the podcast on Itunes. Also on this podcast we talk about Anki, Skiing, crazy parents and the challenges of parenting. Promo is on the Uncensored English Facebook page. 

 

 

Feb 22, 2017

Alex and I finish our conversation in this podcast. We discuss in depth parenting, drugs and other questionable topics. Transcript is coming shortly...

 

*** Transcript ***

Keiran: Hey everyone. How’s it going? It is Wednesday. Welcome back to the Uncensored English Podcast. And were gonna continue the podcast from Monday, we got Alex back on.  How is it going Alex?

Alex: Not bad. Not bad, man.

Keiran: It’s been a long time since we spoke few days now.

Alex: Yeah. Winter keeps charging along, so I need to have this to…

Keiran: So, last time we were talking about our kids. And you ended up on a story about your daughter which gave you a few great hairs man. Let’s talk about, what are the parts of parenting that you enjoy? At the end of the day, when you are tired and you have no energy left, what brings a smile to your face?

Alex: There’s one thing kind of sentiment, I have to say, since me and my ex-wife broke up, we started explaining to the kids 50-50. It’s made me better dad, because you get a bridge, and it’s like, once they leave, you’re trying to have the time to kind of, recompose yourself and do what you got to do. So, when you do get them back, you take your attention is fully dedicated to them. And I found that my level of attention, my level of patience, is a lot higher than when it was before than me and my ex-wife were together. So that sounds like a really weird thing to say ‘because I’m almost like saying: “Guys, hurry up and get… That’s kind of a messed up sort of approach. I think that it basically talks the fact about I wasn’t happy in my relationship with my ex-wife. This was probably fueling all that, like the whole dynamics are out of the equation. Finally, just being divorced doesn’t necessarily mean you’re your parenting takes a hit, if anything I’m a better parent than I was before.  Like I said, just be more patient with them.

Keiran: I think you need a break. I mean, sometimes I feel like I’m a single dad because my wife goes to school basically before my daughter gets up. She comes home after seven, and she does like her projects. And I feel like the one who’s burnt out and at the end of the day I can’t focus because I’ve got nothing in the tank.  And  I still have on my mind, “Oh shit I got to do this or that and my daughter says: “Daddy, daddy, stop looking at your computer.” And I was like “Fuck.” I feel like a piece of shit, you know. But at some point I have to do so some of my own stuff too. So that makes sense, man. Because you get a break. You got a two or three days for yourself every week and then when you’re with your kids again, you can be, like a fully conscious and aware with your kids.

Alex:  Yeah, I used to complain a lot about all of the routine of, like the running around.

Keiran:  You used to be like V now.

Alex: And now, I’ll just, “Where do you need to go, sweetheart?” We just go and it does not matter. What I found great about parenting is how, I don’t know, you re-evaluate yourself and you try to give your kids the best. Especially as a dad that has two daughters, you want to show them an example of what like a guy, who’s going to be later on in your life. You can’t be total douchebag and they’re going to look at that and think, “Okay, this is my model of what man is supposed to behave like.” And not think that that’s not going to have repercussions later on and they are going to try a find a boy to be with. It makes you kind of polish yourself and make sure your putting your best foot forward. Like a very easy example with that and like listen, you know it happens a lot. So, in the car, I was mad about early bird if it does earning sort of dickery on the road, like I’m telling them all if I’m caught I’m swearing, I’m flipping birds, you know I’m giving them dirty looks. And at some point, like I’m looking at my daughter at the rearview mirror after some guy cut me off, whatever you know. My daughter’s looking at me and I’m like, “Oh!”. It felt gross to have them looking at me and being like that. So, I was just like, “No. That’s not acceptable.” Show them that as a guy, you can keep your calm and not lose your minds and just negotiate the problems in a more constructive matter. I just like to lose my shit, because it’s just fun. I get to swear, I get to let out some of these anger. So it’s like, whatever. But it’s not a good example. So you try to polish yourself up like that. And you asked me before like, what do I like about parenting. It’s the surprises.  These kids, they come up with stuff and start reasoning, trains of thoughts, expressions, capabilities. That you’re like, “Oh my god.” Like they impress you, like it shouldn’t because we all went through that. But I guess when you see your own kids do what you like. You know, I make my mistakes as a parent, I make my mistakes but one thing that I am not afraid of doing is when I know I’ve crossed that line. I have no problem of going to see my kids and apologize to them. .guys, guys daddy lost it back there, kind of flew off the handle, just want to apologize. Fucking sure enough Danicka my older one, she's getting a bit older, she getting a personality, she's the one who flipped out over I don't know, it doesn't even matter … And then she came up to me and apologized to me, like unsolicited. She just came on to me, she’s like, “I just want to apologize about for how I acted back.” That just blew my mind. I was like, “Wow!”. She was nine years old, just you know, I was impressed by that maturity.

Keiran: That’s awesome, man. You know, when I was single, like dating, everyone’s once in awhile, at some time you know, dating someone, like something happens, you got to call them out on their bad behavior. It’s more like you’re saying you know what, “I like you but what happened was bad and I can’t stay with you”, you kind of acknowledge that. A lot of people can’t. If your daughter can already do that, that’s awesome. It’s a quality person that you are raising.

Alex: Yeah. And then the other one's a little gangster, the other ones completely the opposite, the other one she like fuckin, sometimes I wanna smack her head around her shoulders … like She’ll do something wrong. … Her name's Chloe, I'll be like "Chloe!" You know I'll get made at her … And she’s going to stand there and she’s going to look at me and eyes are going to lock and were totally gonna do the staredown showdown. And we’re just like looking at each other and I’m trying to pose my will as a parent. And she’s just standing there, and she’s just looking at me, at my eyes, and she’ll start like a little dance with her butt. And she start wiggling her butt. And she’s kind of like move from left to right and kinda’ have this quirky smile and I can feel the laughter just rolling up inside of me. And I’m just like don't don't don't. Pffffffffffffft. Pffffffffffffft. Like you literally, like that laughter just breaking through. And I turn away, I turn away and like, “Fuck! She won again.” And I’m like, “I’m screwed I'm screwed”. With the second one, I’m totally screwed. She’s got like my numbers. She’s got like my kryptonite. She knows how to beat me. And she beats me with humour. And I’m like, “This one’s gonna be a hard one.” She’s gonna be a lot harder. Like she’s totally, like the one, I got a one that set too much level of expectation. But she’s the one that gonna have to be like, you know, turns up like drugs and boys. “Listen Chloe, just be careful, if you’re ever in trouble, here’s daddy’s number, just call me. I think that one’s a strategy, because I think this one’s got a wilder side to herself. While her sister’s much more, her sister's much more I dunno, studious for lack of a better word.

Keiran: So did you, when you guys made your first kid, did you guys plan to have your kid, or was it a surprise?

Alex: Hahahaha  that was, that was the beginning of the end my friend.

No actually that's bullshit, it wasn't the first kid, it was the second kid. The first kid was planned but the funny thing is like, we’re like together for 3 years I guess. Were like I wanna have a kid, and she said me too. And she was on the pill.

Keiran: How old are you when this happened?

Alex: Thirty.

Keiran: You had your first kid when you were thirty? So that’s when you decided to end your life?

Alex: Yeah, exactly.

Keiran: Hahahah

Alex: You know what, going back to when we talked about it. I did it all, so we were like let's see what else is out there.

Keiran: You wanted to try out the no sex life.

Alex: Ah shit fuck. Listen, it’s like this. It wasn’t the first kid, it was the second. Because the first kid, we didn’t actually tried. She stopped taking a pill, and boom she got pregnant right away. And when she got pregnant, the pregnancy was fine, everything went fine and I want to side note. And on a side note pregnant chicks are horny as fuck. It took me by surprise how much sex I had while my ex-wife is pregnant. And the closer we got to the D-day, the filthier it got and it was just it was insane.

Keiran: When I get your ex-wife’s contact, so I can send her this podcast.

Alex: If I could graph out, all the sex I had in my life, the peak on was when she was pregnant with Danica. It was nuts. Whatever prego-lovers out there, we could’ve filled up all of their hard drives with enough material to last for a long time. So that was that, and like obviously, the kids born. Your before everything falls back into place. You start having sex again, and okay cool, no problem. The game changer was the second kid. Because the first kid getting preggy was so easy, we kind of expected that it’s going to be the same thing with the second kid. Well, it turns out, it wasn’t. Like it was actually a lot harder. So, we were having sex and we were just doing our thing and it wasn't happening. Two months later, three months later, half a year later, nothing is happening. This started changing things because it was so easy the first time why isn’t it working the second time. And I’m gonna say this right now, like I have no problem.  Everybody can hate me for saying this. That when a woman has it in her mind, that she wants to get pregnant, and it’s not happening, then there’s this animalistic thing that takes over. It all just becomes this all-consuming thing, like Must getting pregnant. And it just starts filling up every aspect of their psyche. So next thing you know, we got the calendar out. We got days that are crossed out like that with the ovulation and were buying ovulation test for ten bucks of pop and I’m coming home from work and it’s like the end. It just totally changed the dynamic of sex between us. Instead of being for fun, like I would just come home and she would just slap me on the ass like it was some sort of horse. Like get up there (neighing), go up the stairs. Go do your job and I was like jeez. And all of a sudden the roles were reversed, I was like the woman roles, like, “Can you ask me how my day was?”, “Can you kiss me on the neck?”, “Can we get a little bit of foreplay?”.

Keiran: You should do comedy about that that's fucking hilarious.

Alex: Get up there skippy do your job.

Keiran: It’s almost like it became like work and…

Alex: Yeah. And I have to say it was the beginning of the end, because it changed something. It changed something between us.

Keiran: Yeah. It made you like into a means to get her pregnant, like you were not a human anymore. It’s kinda like rape in a way. You come home from work and like, “Now!”. Well I didn’t really, “Get up there! Stop Bitchin!”

Alex: I won't put all the onus on her, I did my fare share of things to fuck up the relationship to. But I noticed how the sex had changed. And then once, Chloe was born, then nothing. I mean fucking nothing. And I think 4 years went by and I could count on one hand like how many times we had sex after the second kid was born. And the amount of jerking off, it was insane, like if she were to go into my basement at the end of the relationship, and put that like a special victim’s unit light you know in my basement, you would go blind. My kids were playing on that sofa, “Guys, get over there.”

Keiran: That’s daddy’s sofa. That’s not a play zone.

Alex: Don’t get your face on that sofa. What do you expect, 4 years, I had zero sex and then up to that. The end didn’t come too long after that you know.

Keiran: Yeah, I know. I feel what you are saying man.  I mean it’s a, I mean I’ve been in a relationships like that in the past. Where somebody just dies, right? You can’t fake it when it’s dead.

Alex: You start arguing about everything but ended nothing.

Keiran: This is stupid as shit.

Alex: Yeah. We got a fucking tough argument about hotdog buns. And that’s when I knew like listen, this isn’t working. You got to find someone new. She sent me to the store to get hotdog buns and we had all but two people over dinner and we had a whole bunch of food packed up. We had six hotdogs left from whatever, that were just gonna give it to the kids. Like there were just six hotdogs. And she said, “Go to the store and get hotdog buns.” And I’m like, “Sir, yes sir.” And the kind of guy that I am, this where a little bit that I’m crazy, where I don’t want to buy a pack of twelve hotdog buns for my six hotdogs. Because what’s gonna after, I’m gonna have six left-over hotdog buns. So you just stuck with the same problem in reverse. So I go to the grocery store and I’m looking for six hotdog buns. So I’m going to the bread section, I’m looking over the packages, 12, 12, 12. I turn over to the bakery section, and I look and they have these like fancy hotdog buns. Six, six in the bag. I’m like’ “These are my hotdog buns”. And I don’t give a shit. 3 dollars for 6 hotdog buns instead of 129 for 12? I don’t give a fuck. I’m greatfully employed. I can afford that. I buy my six hotdog buns. I come home, I’m happy, I’m proud of myself I found the solution to the problem. I slam the fucking hotdogs in the couch, and ah, “Here you go. Here’s your hotdog buns.” My ex-wife was so brought up and says, “What is this?”. And I say “It’s your hotdog buns.” “Yeah, but it’s like for fancy sausages. We’re going to  put the hotdogs on those buns and the first and last bite of the hotdogs just like any other sausage.” And I was like, “Yeah baby”. If you think I care enough for my guest kids, that I’m measuring their sausage to bread ratio when they’re taking their bites on the hotdogs. You’re mistaken. I don’t give a shit that much.

Keiran: Yeah, really is a non-issue, right? But anyways, let’s just summarize this, I mean this podcast me and a little bit about parenting. If you had to decide, you know, to do it again, to have your freedom or to, you know, be a dad, and everything that comes with it, what do you think you would do?

Alex: I’d be out of here. No, joking. Take it easy, bro. Take it easy. I have often thought about that question and the answer is no, I wouldn’t trade it. I’m fortunate enough to have healthy kids. I think that when you have sick kids, or kids with problem there’s a whole layer of difficulty. I can’t even imagine what that is, you know. I’ve been to a children’s hospital once, seeing sick kids,  that really just you know, puts everything into perspective and how I’m fortunate enough to not have that. If I just look into my current situation, the kids that I have right now, of course I’d do it again. Absolutely, I’ve got great kids, and we’re talking like before, I feel like they help me. I’m not just as selfish, like you know, resource consuming person anymore. Like there’s another side of me now, it kinda looks for somebody else’s wellbeing.

Keiran: The other thing is like, a single person, all you care about is yourself. But as parent, you start to think like man, these things that I am buying, these foods I eat, do I want my kids to eat that? And there’s a lot of decision, like, man, I don’t know if I want to get his anymore, because I don’t want my kids to start eating this crap.

Alex: Yeah, we’ve done some kind of like volunteering with my kids, like I would never have gone volunteering as a single person, why would you ever fucking do that?

Keiran: I don’t know, I’ve never done that.

Alex: You know, I wanted to teach to my kids, like you know, we’re very lucky. You have an opportunity to get back and I think even about giving back, just to have empathy. Some people are harder up than you are. I would never have done that as a single person. I don’t have kids. What do teach these fuckers? That’s one of the things I wanted to teach them is empathy. Empathy for other people. You see the wheels turning on their heads, like what does that mean? Why is this person on the street? Why are they asking for money? I never hide anything to my kids.

Keiran: That’s awesome, man. That’s great that you do that. That’s one thing that I do that, I think a lot of parents dodge that subject. One question actually my daughter ask is, “Are you gonna die?” and yeah, everyone dies. And I think some people like no, don’t fucking lie to your kids, when a kid ask you a question, then they’re ready for the answer.

Alex: That’s a good work. Pretty good. Like another example is one of my good friend is gay, and he is the godfather of the second one, and they’ve asked me, like you know, how come, where is his girlfriend. That was probably the none shalom statement, like they just kind of took it and explained to them that in the world, there’s men who like men and women will like women and my kids just go over there and Okay, can I have a banana.

Keiran: Because they haven’t been programmed to be idiots.

Alex: Yeah, exactly. I don’t understand the society, that someone has a problem with that some people are in love that happens to be in the same sex. And they sleep over it. I find the tough one, this is the tough one. I’m debating on how, what is the best way to approach. When the question of drugs comes up, like what am I going to say to my kids, because …

Keiran: I don’t have a problem with that one man. I think you just have to be honest. Like well you know, some drugs are not very dangerous and some are. You know, educate yourself and do them with people you trust. I can’t tell my daughter to not do something that I have done.

Alex: Exactly. I can’t be that hypocrite you know.

Keiran: They just have to know that it is dangerous. If it gets out of control. I don’t know about you man, but was kinda late. Like I started smoking marijuana, 21 and did some other things along the road, it’s some various drugs, you know. I think I was just always aware of that, it’s fun, but if you get into deep, you’re gonna get into trouble. 

Alex: I’ve done pretty much every drug except OPM, crack, heroine and that’s about it.

Keiran: Well, those are the one’s like the dead end, like there’s no positive thing at the end.

Alex: The two women in my life, they just have two different approaches with drug, that to me was just the raw approach. When we were young and coming up like 80’s and with the Nancy Reagan, don’t you say no. this is your brain on drug and my mom just had like the talk. If you start doing drugs, you would end up on the street, prostituting yourself and robbing people to pay for your drugs.

Keiran: because you’re mom never did drugs, man.

Alex: Exactly, And that didn’t happened to no one that I know. No one that I know ended up prostituting and robbing people to pay for their drugs. And it didn’t take me long getting to my drug use , like 18 years old.

Keiran: this is the thing that’s important, that I think every person needs to know. Is that when you lie to your kids, sooner or later they will find out, and they will lose respect for you. And this is why I’ll never lie to daughter, you know. Like if she asks me, about marijuana or mushroom, or whatever, I will just gonna tell the truth that it’s not that bad, just don’t become an idiot with it you know.

Alex: You know what’s funny, you know Daniel Carin? I am watching, the TV is just on and Daniel was, what’s his name, the guy from Ray Romano,  the tall guy. What’s his name? The tall guy who is in Ray Romano, so he’s on TV right now. When he was a kid, he was asked to taking questions from the audiences.

Keiran: Alright. I saw him on Facebook. 

Alex: I think the thing you have to tell kids, the way that I see it, if it touches about drugs is that, doing drugs is like opening Pandora’s box. It’s not necessarily bad, but if you decide to open up that box, you don’t know what’s going to come out, and you don’t know if you’re gonna be able to close it once you open it. And that applies to cigarettes, that applies to all of that stuff. If you are going to make a decision, do it. Just know, it might not go the way that you want, and you might not be able to dial it back. Just have them at the back of your mind when you’re gonna do it.

Keiran: I think that drugs is kind of like religion. I’m not religious, I’m agnostic, but to me, people who are religious, are looking for the same thing as people who do drugs. It’s like they’re looking for some kind of answer. And when you’re doing drugs, you just, you’re in a different state of mind. You are more aware. Usually, if it’s a good experience, you’re more happy, you’re more in the moment. And that’s why I think it’s not the answer because it always just temporary. If people can have just a moment of you know, serenity or like peace or happiness, that gives them kind of like, a map to get back there in the future. And hopefully they don’t get stuck on it. Because you’re never going to be happy if you’re continuously doing it. This is the kind of moment like, “Oh my god. This is all it is.” You just feel in the moment, it’s just fucking awesome.

Alex: I think that the main attraction though, there's a sense of euphoria, but I think that when it comes to doing drugs, is not the cause but the consequence and the consequence of it is, is that it gives you a different perspective on the life that you live day to day. And you see things a certain way, and we take reality a face value for what it is. And then when you do, drugs and you say wait a second, it’s not necessarily that way. It’s kind of looking something from a different angle if you just change your perspective on something. The same of like the social construct, like my mom is talking about. Like you know, if you do drugs, you’re gonna end up living on the streets, robbing people to pay drugs. Then when you do drugs, you’re like, “What is she talking about?” That doesn’t make sense at all.

Keiran: That’s like 5 percent of the people who likes, falls with the cracks, and ended up living.

Alex: It does happen. Let’s not say that it doesn’t happen. There’s other thing that heals that. 

Keiran: People who probably don’t have hope anyway.

Alex: You had a shitty family. Life: no friends, no social circle. Kind to have checks and balances. Of course. It’s not typically just that.

Feb 20, 2017

Today on the podcast we have a new guest come on and talk about working in Club Med, the circus, and being a single dad. Transcript to come shortly. 

***Transcript *** 

 

Keiran: “Alright, Hey everyone! How’s it going? Welcome to the Podcast for Monday and today we got a new guest on the Podcast, this is the guy I’ve known from the Montreal comedy scene his name is Alex. What’s up Alex? How’s it going man?

Alex: “Hey, what’s up Keiran? Ahh, I’m doing alright man thanks for having me on. This is really neat, my first Podcast check that off the bucket list, alright.

Keiran: “Yeah, alright, nice thank for ahh coming on. So, alex, why don’t you ahh just take a second and tell the people out here ahh a little bit about of yourself so that they can get to know you.

Alex: “Oh! Okay. Well listen I can give a I can give the quick synopsis ahh I ahh I finished high school at the I’d went to Cegep, and Cegep was just a momentous waste of my time it took me as long to graduate from Cegep is a did from rs school not that particularly proud of that, but ahh that’s that’s how it ahh that’s how it worked down can’t change programs like three times while they know what I want to do and then ahh when I finally finally graduated from Cegep and I was like “okay” you know, gotta pick your university or pick a program alright just ahh I just wasn’t excited by any of that. So, now an opportunity came up and I decided to go work for Club Med so ahh Club Med hotel Chain and the went to go work for Club Med for five years. Ahh basically travelled down south you know Mexico, the Caribbean..

Keiran: alright

Alex: What I’ve, yeah, what I’ve first ahh work in club med  the what you get in to club med is like starting of like you know taking care of the kids, taking out like the mini club out there and that’s how I started just taking care of the kids, yeah.

Keiran: So you were like a like a camp councillor for a while?

Alex: I guess you could yeah yeah camp councillor. But in a much more, I don’t know, ahh in a much more exciting setting you know like ahh off the beach you know the pacific coast like very nice and just ahh lots of partying, lots of partying. It was very…

Keiran: Hahaha

Alex: It isn’t, I mean I’m assure like camp councillor’s party but ahh this was ahh this was pro party on a quasi professional level..

Keiran: Alright

Alex: and ahh but what they had on club med. They had different activities and the one of the activities that they offer is a trapeze. Like trapeze like in the circus…

Keiran: Great!

Alex: and ahh my roommate was a one of the look, club med were called GEOS it’s a French for “gentil organisateur “  but it’s essentially the ones who were like run the village and he was a circus GEO.

Keiran: Wait wait wait. What do you mean by the village?

Alex: like that’s how they call, you know, Club Med is not refer to us a Hotel. Because it’s a big piece of property,

Keiran: okay

Alex: and it’s just not one massive building, so they call the den for the club meds around the world “Villages” they don’t “Hotels”.

Keiran: okay

Alex: So, um and so it that’s it.  My roommate was a circus GEO and the, me and him ah we got tight in a one things that his buddy come and I give a try and a once they go try out to trapeze and the first time I did it. I just shat my pants…

Keiran: Haha

Alex: in a thirty feet up in air swinging around and it’s was like “This is awful”.

Keiran: Yeah yeah yeah, I’m not surprised.

Alex: Yeah, yeah! Though and I ahh, the first time I did I was like I’m never doing that again and the I actually went back actually went back to try the second time and the second time something pattered like “Oh! you know there’s something fear about this” and I just started like just doing it more more more just like for friend? Like in my free time…

Keiran: Yeah.

Alex:  with the rest of his team. And then ahh one day like I started to take it seriously and I started like training with these guys. At to the point where I became like a circus GEO like a circus employee and I stuck around in the circus until the end of my late club med career by the time I was done like five years later I was of chief of circus, so I was in charge of the circus activity. So I was the one who ran into shows a week and like taking care of the maintenance of the rig and like training the new circus’ GEOs. So like I had done, I had done a quite quite a quite a waste in circus. And the, there one day I was like alright, it’s your home like a club med school, you know, five years but ahh eventually you kinda want something more you know,

Keiran: Right

Alex: you want something a bit more challenging. So I decided it that I wanted to come back home so I keep back to Montreal and the I work as a circus instructor and a gymnastic instructor ahh for number of years, ahh you know just ahh, um you know I was live flew with my brother we had an apartment you know with the girlfriends and the that’s you know that was my life that was my life for a long time you know and the but the eventually that girdled too because when you’re a circus instructor a when you’re a gymnastics instructor you're basically always working ahh nights and weekends

Keiran: Right, it’s kind of like the comedy scene, right?

Alex: Yeah, it it’s always nights and weekends you know and all the rest of your friends and family and your girlfriends at one nap. They’re on a regular schedule so eventually you got like kinda lonely

Keiran: Uhum

Alex: Just wanted to, I just want to like re-join like a normal life like kind of like schedule

Keiran: Hahah this is society hahaha

Alex: Yeah, and and also like a like this is a circus performer circus instructor but even more I was a circus performer like I I have my level of skill and I knew what I was capable of doing. But at some point in Circus, you you can have to pass yourself like “Okay, where do you wanna do with this?” Do you wanna become like a professional like circus performer and if and if that’s what you wanna do then there’s two question you need to ask yourself. You need to ask yourself, “Do I have the basic skill?”, “Do I have, Do I have the the the inmate skill to become a like a high level circus performer. And the answers either yer or its no. If the answer is “No” then it’s like you are have the the desire and the ability and the resources to train to get to that level. Anyways, the parade the equation just you know needed that was like listen I was not of the same level as some of my circus co-hordes like…

Keiran: Right

Alex: I do were like buddy of mine his name was Randy unlike Randy you just knew right away that he was gonna be a professional circus performer

Keiran: wait

Alex: cause he just, he just had it, you know.

Keiran: Even if you, even if you had like that level of like natural talent or any talent what the, how long can your career go long in that industry, man? and how much money can you make with that?

Alex: Well, that is very that’s a very good question I mean that’s in that’s also like definitely part of the equation  because it’s it’s  an artists life so it’s like you know its not like a regular pay check so if you have to leg, you know you have to hussle in order to get gigs you have to like depending on which you want to do. Like I have a friend of mine, the other friend of mine is name is Simon, and ahh Simon made his life with circus and and the way he needed to proceed in order to make like a like a the slithering or he made it to to have multiple sources of income. So at so at some point he ahh became a trainer for Cirque du Soleil. So basically he wasn't a performer like in the in individual shows but in Montreal he was training them like whoever whenever artist that they hire they have to go through a boot camps or he became one of those. He actually owned the the trapeze school, which I worked out once I came out from Club Med so he was getting somewhere revenue from that. And he was also working with Club Med as a consultant ah to make sure that their circus program was up and running and all the rigging was up to code. So really at through this three sources of income, he was able to make like a this living instead of like me like we’re now fighting fell look of my life of kind of just happen like the work pay check you know, other way that’s because but he needed to do it like with three different things and then you ask yourself. You know let’s take this, there’s no insurance program like there is like with like a regular employer like so if you get hurt, ahhh, and you hurt your shoulder. Well your Fucked

Keiran: Yeah yeah you just said that the game.

Alex: You just style unless you know you’re pro actively like buying insurance for yourself which is which his, he actually he did. But it’s much more expensive to get insurance that way then let’s see if you have an insurance plan with your employer. So you know, but these are all considerations that kind of factored in my decision to one day decide to go you know what, and and you’re point which is said like how long can you do it. You know there is always so long you can do it as a performer that at some point it didn’t has to turnover and then you’re like an instructor

Keiran: Yeah

Alex:  or your reppin’ school or your consulting me cause you’re obviously you can’t, you can’t be circus performer at late fifty-five like it is a

Keiran: No, yeah yeah.

Alex:  You’re shoulders, you’re back I mean there’s you can train and you can take care of your body but my nigga at some point it’s much

Keiran: Unless youre like the lion guy hahaha!

Alex: hahaha exactly!

Keiran: You could probably be doing that at late forty-five, right.

Alex: Yeah, yeah, well those those two those two German guys did it for quick so long. But they rolled the dice and then, who is it? Which one got nailed.

Keiran: Oh yeah! One of them got bit right? Or something?

Alex: Yeah, well. You rolled the dice rolled the dice one day you will get snake eyes. You know what I mean? Hahaha

Keiran: So, Alex ahhh I mean I met you I think about maybe two years ago?

Alex: two years ago

Keiran: or one and half years ago? Right?

Alex: yeah, two years ago.

Keiran: And I know now you work for a big company. You’re doing sales I think. Is that it?

Alex: Yeah yeah. I do have a livings. I don’t actually do this selling but I give the sales team tools that they need to do their job. So all these arguments that they need and ahh like I mean I work like you know just to close the loop back to comedy so like you know, I quit the circus, I quit the circus life and decided to go corporate you know when I started like you know gradually, you know gradually like building up my career and like you know taking on bigger bigger positions but eventually the call of being on stage and you know that tickle your ego gets from being the centre of attention where jumpers to get from being on the circus like that still always call to me and that’s why one day I decided to do this stand-up because you know that was one way of getting back without like going back to the circus you know. Like, It was another thing to explore another thing to see like hey what’s that all about you? Oh and that’s that’s where we met. You know.

Keiran: Right, alright man. So I’m curious um on my podcast sometimes I talk about the being a dad and I know you have you’ve two daughters right?

Alex: Yeah!

Keiran: And that’s funny cause a lot of my some of my students listen into Podcast and there is this one guy, he’s ahh one of my students he’s from Brazil, and he was talking recently with his girlfriend about having a kid and I mean generally on my podcast I talk a lot about ahh how’s stress how’s stressful it is and it’s tiring and I talk a lot about of I guess negative aspects about being a father.

Alex: Which is the funny part, right? Like that’s for the comedy.

Keiran: Yeah! Exactly that’s where all the funny parts come from, but I mean tell me like what is your perspective on being a dad? You know, I know you’re now a you’re divorced right?

Alex: Yeah, yeah, divorced.

Keiran: And but what’s your dad life like man? Do you, I’m sure when you became a dad it’s a little bit frustrating in some ways cause you lose a lot of your freedom, right?

Alex: Yeah, yeah. No, like a it’s everything changes, everything changes and if there’s one thing that being a dad one thing that that being a parent experience teaches you is that is that that’s selflessness that like you know, like we live our whole lives you know like catering to our needs and then all of a sudden like you stop to do that to take care of somebody else’s needs and at first “Oh man, this is shitty, like what about all…

Keiran: Hahahaha

Alex: what about all, what about all of mile what about all of wild ones to do and all of all of your like desires get put off and take care and and  there is there is there is a part of it a part of me anyways that that was frustrated I don’t know if I’m good on saying resented but frustrated about like you know all the challenges that it is to become a father and putting all of your stuff far away in order to take care of these of these two like you know like resource syphons.

Keiran: Hahahahaha

Alex: That or that might children but essentially

Keiran: Yeah, it is stealing your food and your money all the time

Alex: But it’s funny because like as they grow older and they develop and they start doing these things like I go all like daughter doing ballet and now like she’s doing these ballet recitals and she’s like snowboarding and I’m like “oh shit!” like that was a ball of fat.

Keiran: Yeah

Alex: like six, six years ago and now she’s doing all these things and the other one  she’s got a sense of humour and she’s she’s literally understand what it is to be funny and she’s cracking jokes and like you see, you see what you put in to your kids, and then you’re like and then it’s like “ahhh Okay.” Because I feel like you know like no to toot my own horn but I feel like my kids are flourishing I think they’re developing well and that’s a part of it as to do without me and the ex-wife. We did, um we did put in a lot of work to to like to like raise these kids whether that’s you know just reading them a bedtime story every night, whether it’s you know being a fucking taxi driver all over the city to bring in to their items. I got into an argument with a taxi driver the other day. He accused me of being an Uber drive and I'm like "no these for my kids," and and I was like

Keiran: Haha That’s funny man.

Alex: Anyways, So you just driving around and all of the money like you know that a costume that’s saps up all your you like it, you know. I love to go to vacation there’s buying for that

Keiran: Yeah. 

Alex: It is, you know

Keiran: I know.

Alex: I have I have, I can go to Oka or Maine. That’s that’s my vacation.  That’s what we can do but I find  the payoff is there but it’s there’s a lesson there’s lesson that I find there’s and then an undeniable human experience lesson that comes out of being a parent how can there not be? You know what I mean? It’s like…

Keiran: Yeah, I find like it’s a you cannot be changed by anything

Alex: You cannot, exactly

Keiran: I think I’m a probably of that way better person than I was like four years ago I was I mean not that I was a bad person but, like you I think you just you know when you have a little girl to take care of and I mean imagine it doesn’t if it’s a boy either like you just I don’t know I think carry a little bit more about even like yourself and

Alex: Well, I take…

Keiran: You can’t just be a piece of garbage. Hahaha

Alex: No, no, no you can’t no no and you it makes you measure using but I think better now than I was,  like let’s say three years ago when they were younger and you were babies cause it’s just like to sleep deprivation and the diapers and the shit than it it’s just like there’s no, there’s, there’s, little like pay off to the work

Keiran: alright

Alex: Because there’s still so little and ironically like you know it it it goes by like so fast and you end up missing it, yeah that was the shittiest part but you end up missing it and I was just watched the movie last night where there was like a lot of baby scenes in there and I was like I found myself like missing like Oh My God! Like I can’t, like I can remember when I used to have them in my arms…

Keiran: Yeah

Alex: and I was just, that’s it, that’s shits over that shit is over, it’s done.

Keiran: How old are your kids man?

Alex: Um nine and five. Nine and five.

Keiran: Nine and Five. Ahh

Alex: yeah

Keiran: So, do they ever do like things that just like drive you fucking nuts? Like my daughter does and she does this on purpose and its hilarious. But like my wife she goes to school she leaves at six in the morning she takes the bus she gets home about seven at night. So I usually drop off my kid at daycare drive to go pick her up after I finish work  and im always exhausted when I get home you know

Alex: yeah

Keiran: and then she’s four and a half she;s still on like the booster seat in the car so I go to the backseat to open door and get her over the car and she always locks the door like why im doing that? Why Im why I leave my door to go to get her out of her door and she locks the door on that process and Im just so defeated at that point of the day.

Alex: HAHAHAHA

Keiran: we we’re like I go to open the door and everytime im just like “FUCK!” you know,

Alex: alright

Keiran: I don’t say that, but that’s what Im feeling in my head and then I look at the window and she;s just laughing her ass off, cause she knows everytime that its gonna get me hahaha oh my god and I should know by now but its laughs and im just like hmm

Alex: Hahahaha well, you know they’re good kids they don’t do too much to drive me nuts what I finally like challenging now it’s just like you what like how manners like we all we all we all have manner well a dog’s now we understand to hold the door open it for someone to say please and thank you and its like like whatever I’m forty years old so like I understand how society works and there’s certain there’s certain politeness and there’s certain adequate to what they do and I take it  for granted but I realize that kids its really up repeating it all the time. That “Please” and “Thank you’s” very hard and there good kids but “Please” and “Thank you” it’s like they’ll us astray like be like anywhere where strangers will just you know a restaurant  or waitress you give him a you know fill up there glass of water “No, thank you” They just think that, like a, I don’t know.  They get out shower then they would dry themselves up. They just like leave the towels like on the floor and I’m like “what do you mean?” Take the towels on the floor or my second one. I’d like lose my mind she’s just, she’ll hang a (dous 18:38) in the bathroom and I’ll walk in and she hangs a big duos and No flashing the toilet,

Keiran: Hahahaha

Alex: I just walk in and looks like a baby ceiling the toilet bowl and I’m like “Jesus Christ! Chloe can you fucking flash the toilet?” “Oh Ohh sorry” and she comes in.

Keiran: Yeah but she’s

Alex: but it’s everyday

Keiran:  okay she’s five

Alex: But it’s every day, right?

Keiran: But dude, listen to this. I did a show at the yellow door. I don’t know, who is fuck in the fall. Okay.

Alex: Yeah

Keiran:  And who was not the comic show they have an open night like musical show. They sometimes let me go on there.

Alex:  Is that on the Friday sir.

Keiran:  Yeah, it’s on the Friday. So it’s before the thing started and the place is like completely packed and I go over the washroom before the show starts and there’s someone in there, Okay. Somewhere I wait and then the girl comes out and I know the girls. This girl who performs or all the time and like “hey hey”  we have a little chit chat and then she leaves and then I go in and I go in and there’s is this massive dump just sitting in the bowl.

Alex: HAHAHA

Keiran: and I’m just like, “How do you do that?” You know, like how you have no, she had like there’s no embarrassment like I was going in right after that. She knew I was going in and it’s just like that she’s change my whole

Alex:  Maybe she knew you’re awaiting and she show that’s just a kind of sign “just leave me”

Keiran: Hahaha She hates me? Do I look like, dude this.

Alex: I don’t know, yeah, exactly. It felt like that but I found like, okay, like it’s just like, I don’t know. When I was, when we are younger like, since today, like ah. I go to a public bathroom with my second daughter and she’s like two years old like just a toddler, you know, I was still work away for at the time so she’s like “Daddy, bathroom” you know, so I’m like “Why fuck at be sitting at your chair” So I’ll be said, Take her to the maintenance bathroom, you know, sit her down, you know to the whole toilet paper then she pees, you know, and as we were about to leave I could wash my hands, you know, all as customary to do and as I turn around my daughter’s praying the bongo’s in the urinal like just “Flush flush flush, flush flush flush” fucking urinal water just flying all over the place. In her hair, on her forehead and I literally let out a scream, like I was just “Whoaaaaaa”. Scoop her up and started just jammed her underneath the sink as water boarding her like just to get the urinal juice off her face, like titanium.

Keiran: Hahahaha

Alex:  Water boarding, crap at her, my daughter. I think I got a couple of grey hairs on that one. That’s the kind of days that kids were like make you do the, that’s like less of now. Now, they don’t do so many things like that.

Keiran: Alright, that’s awesome. You know, just for a few minutes we’re gonna wrap this up. Cause I do a short format podcast but we’re gonna just cut and we’ll start 

Alex: very incredible, keep it going.

Keiran: We’ll I’m not gonna cut it. Oh well I cut it. Hold on.

Feb 18, 2017

Speaking a language you're not confident can often be embarrassing, but at least it's not as embarrassing as this... also we talk about mimicking to develop your fluency and the UE Cafe. 

Feb 15, 2017

Today on the podcast Keiran and Max take a look at themselves and their lives. They discuss how they think their past selves from 10 years ago would react when they find out where Keiran and Max are today. 

Sign up for the UECafe on Sex and Advertising here. meetup.com/uncensoredenglishcafe

 

***Transcript***

 

Gabe:

I'm Gabriel.

 

Keiran:

Hey max, how's it going man? It's good to have you back on the podcast.

 

Max:

Hey, thanks for having me Keiran, I'm doing good. How are you doing?

 

Keiran:

I'm doing pretty good, pretty good. It was Wednesday, so I didn't teach today. I actually did a podcast with Gabriel earlier in the day.

 

Max:

Oh yeah? What did you guys talk about?

 

Keiran:

I mean, it wasn't one of the most intellectual podcasts. I think we talked a lot about alcohol and Gabriel kept bringing up his dick, but that's a ...

 

Max:

Wow, wow.

 

Keiran:

It's a fun mix, you know. I think people want to hear lots of different speaking styles, and that is something unique.

 

Max:

Definitely, definitely.

 

Keiran:

Well, we talked about whiskey dick, so that's a good ...

 

Max:

Yeah, that's a conversation starter.

 

Keiran:

Yeah, it is a conversation starter. But anyways, what's new with you these days? Hopefully not whiskey dick.

 

Max:

No, no, no. I learned how to drink when I was 18, the legal age. I'm going to take guitar lessons, learn to play the guitar and hopefully impress some ladies with those skills.

 

Keiran:

All right, nice cool. Have you played guitar at all before? Is this just a completely new journey for you?

 

Max:

I played bass guitar in high school and I mostly forgot it. For like a couple months I tried to play electric guitar but it didn't work out. This seems a little bit better. It's already been a few months and I'm older. I'm more patient and I'm actually learning it.

 

Keiran:

Yeah, I think learning it is just about making a commitment and doing it consistently and try to enjoy yourself as much as possible while you're doing it, right?

 

Max:

Yeah, yeah. Not being afraid of not being able to do shit.

 

Keiran:

Yeah, like you gotta venture into the unknown and make mistakes and just try to enjoy the process.

 

Max:

Absolutely.

 

Keiran:

Anyways, I wanted to ask you a question today. I thought this was a fun question. I stumbled upon it the other day.

 

Max:

I'm ready.

 

Keiran:

You are 28?

 

Max:

29.

 

Keiran:

29. All right. 29, if you could talk to your 19 year old self and tell him what his life would be like in 10 years, what do you think 19 year old Max would say?

 

Max:

I'm just going to say what he would say. "What the fuck? What did I do? You're not even making video games? What are you doing?"

 

Keiran:

Well, do you remember when you were 19, like what were your dreams for the future?

 

Max:

Yeah, yeah. I wanted to be a video game designer, but I had such bad grades that I had no confidence I could ever learn it or do it. Everybody around me was super smart and I was just like failing science classes.

 

Keiran:

Really? I find that hard to believe that you had bad grades. You don't seem like a slacker or an unintelligent person.

 

Max:

Maybe I was a slacker when I was 19. Maybe I was lazier. I almost failed high school, barely passed, barely passed.

 

Keiran:

Really? What advice would you give your 19 year old self today?

 

Max:

I would say don't compromise on anything and don't listen to advice from people that haven't done what you want to do. If somebody's giving you advice about being a video game designer or not, and they've never tried it or done it, don't listen to them. Find somebody who's done it and ask them.

 

Keiran:

Right.

 

Max:

So Keiran, if you from 10 years ago, knew where you were today, what would he say?

 

Keiran:

I think he would probably say the same thing that Max from 10 years ago would say. He would be like, "Keiran, are you serious? What the fuck did you do? You idiot."

 

Max:

Shit.

 

Keiran:

No, I remember 10 years ago. I don't know if it was 10 years ago. It was ... Let's say 2009, 10. Okay that's six years ago. I was in Vancouver. I went there with one of my friends and another guy from the Olympics. I was starting a business, is what I was doing. I was making all these like t-shirt designs. I was going to start a t-shirt business. Then, at the end of the year, I said, I'm not going to do this yet, because I want to travel first and I want to explore the world before I start a business. Because a business is like a commitment you can't really leave alone. I went to Korea and I said ... I had few goals and those goals, I mean they're kind of shallow now that I think about them, but they were to explore the culture, which is a great goal. To save money, and then I wanted to just have a lot of fun, like meet a lot of women, like-

 

Max:

Of course.

 

Keiran:

I think a traditional, like a typical young guy thing, right?

 

Max:

But that's a goal for any young guy anywhere mostly.

 

Keiran:

Right, I know. Then another one of my things I wrote down was to come back single and I came back with like a, married and a baby.

 

Max:

Oh yeah ...

 

Keiran:

If myself from like 2010 knew about myself now, he would just be like, "No, Keiran. This was one of our goals to avoid."

 

Max:

You fucked up.

 

Keiran:

Yeah, but you know what? I think it just changes everything. Even before that happened, being in Korea changed shit. Like your life experiences change you. I'm not not happy with my situation today.

 

Max:

I get it.

 

Keiran:

I have those, like the failed business experience to build on. I don't know. I like what you said, don't take advice from people who haven't been there before because they're probably going to mislead you, right?

 

Max:

Yep. Just in a weird kind of adult way, by saying, "Oh, that's a bad idea." You know, not even real advice.

 

Keiran:

Right, like people who say like, "Oh, don't do comedy. I hear it doesn't pay well and ..." but doing comedy has been an exercise in just embracing your own ideas and embracing your creative side and it's been an awesome adventure, right?

 

Max:

Yeah. It's even more work than it looks like. There's so much planning and everybody around you is like not picking up the ball, so you gotta pick up the ball all the time.

 

Keiran:

What do you mean not picking up the ball?

 

Max:

Oh, people will ... Let's say you're booked on a show. You gotta call them to find out when you're on the show, what time the show is, often you're going to get left out from details. Things change. People don't tell you.

 

Keiran:

Oh, you mean they're not on the ball, like they're not organized or they're not-

 

Max:

Yeah. Organizing wise and then when you get there, they're like, "There's no swearing," or, "This is a clean show. I forgot to tell you." You can't ever be fully ready because it's so random.

 

Keiran:

Yeah, for sure man. It is very random. There's always surprises in stand up, right?

 

Max:

Yeah. It's stage performance.

 

Keiran:

After having this conversation today, what are you hoping for 10 years from now in the future, from today's Max?

 

Max:

From today's Max? I'm hoping to live on the beach or close enough that I can walk there in like 5-10 minutes. Have a job that's not just being like an excel monkey all day. You know?

 

Keiran:

You mean something fulfilling?

 

Max:

I didn't say that. I'm not aiming too high. I'm aiming for not a monkey. That's what I'm aiming for career wise. Put it on my LinkedIn. Aiming for near the beach. It doesn't even have to be a hot beach. It can be cold. And not a monkey on excel.

 

Keiran:

You can just start teaching in Korea, in Busan and you could be near the beach, but you would be a monkey in an English language school.

 

Max:

Ah, why not?

 

Keiran:

You can nail one of your two goals in one year with that plan Max.

 

Max:

That's gold. That's gold right there.

 

Keiran:

All right man, well-

 

Max:

What's your goal in 10 years? Can't just comp out. You gotta answer that.

 

Keiran:

My goal for 10 years is to ... I mean, I just want to be completely following my passion. I don't want to be doing something that I have to do to get by. I want to have generated some kind of passive income, so I can just put myself a hundred percent into what I want to do. I don't want to-

 

Max:

No desk job.

 

Keiran:

Yeah, I don't want to do something ... you know, they have that expression, 'are you working to live or are you living to work'.

 

Max:

Yeah.

 

Keiran:

I don't want to be working to live in 10 years. I want to be waking up everyday like, "Fuck, I'm going to do that today? That's awesome. I love my life." I do have a lot of that today, but it's the freedom is limited when you have a 9-5 I think. Your energy is, you're always short on energy because you're always drained.

 

Max:

Always drained.

 

Keiran:

Drained right.

 

Max:

Depressing.

 

Keiran:

Yeah, let's end this podcast off on this depressing note, Max. Thanks for coming on though and sharing your thoughts and ideas with us.

 

Max:

Thanks for having me.

 

Keiran:

All right, have a good one, man.

 

Max:

Thank you. Bye.

 

Keiran:

Ciao.

Feb 13, 2017

Today on the podcast Gabriel is back on and we shoot the shit about alcohol, TV and a bunch of nonsense. Full transcripts is available on uncensoredenglish.ca. Sunday and Monday's UEcafe can be signed up for here, meetup.com/uncensoredenglishcafe .

 

*** Transcript***

Keiran:

All right, hey everyone, how's it going? Today we have Gabriel back on the podcast. How's it going, Gabriel?

 

Gabe:

Pretty good, man. I'm okay, you know, hanging in there.

 

Keiran:

Nothing too good, but nothing too bad?

 

Gabe:

I've been watching Stranger Things on Netflix. I know I'm a bit late to that, and boy does it suck.

 

Keiran:

I've heard good things from several people, a few students. You don't enjoy it? Why, what's the problem with it?

 

Gabe:

It stinks, I'm sorry, I don't know, just garbage. It's not good. I don't know what's wrong with it, I just look at it and I'm like, "This is bad. This is shit." I'm sorry nerds, but this is fucking, you are wrong.

 

Keiran:

Describe the premise of the show, I don't know anything about it.

 

Gabe:

It's about a bunch of kids who, one of their friends gets lost in the woods and like apparently kidnapped by a monster or whatever. Then there's a cop and he's like an angry alcoholic cop, and then he tries to find the kid, and then there's a conspiracy and there's a monster. I don't know, it's just garbage, it's not good, it's for nerds.

 

Keiran:

Isn't it kind of like a throwback to the 80's?

 

Gabe:

A bit, not too much. Like it's not that-

 

Keiran:

You're like a 90's kid, so I don't think you would be able to appreciate it.

 

Gabe:

Well, it's just more like I guess those movies, like it kind of runs with Poltergeist a lot, and I don't like Poltergeist, I think that movie sucks.

 

Keiran:

I love Poltergeist man, that's a classic, that's a great movie.

 

Gabe:

I mean, there's some good things about it. I don't know why I'm being mean, I don't actually hate it that much.

 

Keiran:

Yeah, you're just taking a stand, that's what it sounds like.

 

Gabe:

I'm just having fun, I don't know. Yeah, it sucks.

 

Keiran:

All right, okay, well you think it sucks, good for you. All right, today we're going to be talking about a topic I haven't talked about in a while, which is good old alcohol, our good old friend.

 

Gabe:

You know what? I'm going to open a beer for this podcast.

 

Keiran:

Really?

 

Gabe:

Fuck it, I haven't drank in a year. Here, I'll be back, one second.

 

Keiran:

Good old [alc-y 00:02:11] Gabriel. Boozing all the time, open a drink and drink it down-

 

Gabe:

I'm back.

 

Keiran:

You filthy piece of [swine 00:02:22].

 

Gabe:

Sorry, okay here we go. Nothing like a good old beer.

 

Keiran:

There's nothing like the sound of opening a beer can.

 

Gabe:

Oh my God.

 

Keiran:

It's a great sound.

 

Gabe:

I don't know why I've been denying this, it's so good.

 

Keiran:

All right, so we were talking about alcohol, and I wanted to get your opinion on alcohol. When did you start drinking alcohol?

 

Gabe:

The first time I ever drank, I was 14 years old.

 

Keiran:

Okay, so you started drinking when you were 14, and how old are you today?

 

Gabe:

I'm 26.

 

Keiran:

I'm going to assume you're like me, when you started drinking alcohol, it was just fucking amazing, right?

 

Gabe:

Oh my God, it was so much fun. I remember thinking like, "What? This is way better." I remember I was at my stepbrother's house and I got really tipsy, we stole my dad's bottle of rum or whatever, and we had like a bit. I didn't have a lot, like I knew not to drink that much because I would get sick, and then I got so tipsy and I felt so good, and I started talking to the cat. I started talking to their cat. Hold on, my mom is calling me, do you want to hear my mom?

 

Keiran:

Yeah, put her on, man.

 

Gabe:

Okay, wait. Hello?

 

Gabe's Mom:

Nice meeting you. It's John, right?

 

Gabe:

Hello?

 

Gabe's Mom:

[foreign language 00:03:39].

 

Gabe:

Yeah, I'm home. Oh my God, you're going to have to edit this out.

 

Gabe's Mom:

Thank you. [foreign language 00:03:48].

 

Gabe:

Yeah.

 

Gabe's Mom:

Because I wanted to know if I should come and get the car.

 

Gabe:

I'm home now, yeah I'm home.

 

Gabe's Mom:

Did you make anything to eat?

 

Gabe:

Okay, bye.

 

Gabe's Mom:

Bye.

 

Keiran:

Oh Gabriel, make some food, mom is coming home, buddy.

 

Gabe:

Anyway, whatever.

 

Keiran:

Cook up a storm, little bitch. All right, let's get back to the topic. You started drinking when you were 14, you're 24 now.

 

Gabe:

26.

 

Keiran:

26 now, have your feelings on alcohol changed?

 

Gabe:

Yeah, because I've looked at my body since I started drinking. When I first started drinking, I was pretty ugly or whatever, but then I grew up and I started becoming like a nice strong young man, you know, like a hot virile man.

 

Keiran:

What does virile mean?

 

Gabe:

I don't know, like big dick or something.

 

Keiran:

All right, and then what happened.

 

Gabe:

Then I started getting all fat and gross and ugly and shit, and then I started getting hungover, I never used to get hangovers, which means like you're feeling sick in the morning after drinking all night. Then I took a break, and then I got back in shape and then I started drinking a bit more. Now I'm like balancing it a bit, but then lately I've been working out a lot but also drinking a lot. Then I remember I went on a date with this really pretty girl, she was 19 years old, fucking really really pretty. We meet, we go to a bar, two hours later we're at her place, we're about to have sex, and we're like whatever, my dick, I'm like, "Oh, my dick is working." Then after, I realized my dick is dead, and I'm like, "Oh no, the alcohol killed my dick."

 

Keiran:

You got whiskey dick.

 

Gabe:

Oh my God dude, it was so horrifying, it depressed me so bad. It was embarrassing, she was like 19, hot, and she was just like, "Yeah, whatever." Then I left and I texted her, I'm like, "Hey, you've got to give me another shot. I'm sorry, I got to make it up to you," and she never texted me back ever again.

 

Keiran:

Did this actually happen?

 

Gabe:

Yeah.

 

Keiran:

Wow, that's pathetic.

 

Gabe:

Like two weeks ago. That's why I stopped drinking for a week.

 

Keiran:

That's hilarious.

 

Gabe:

Then last week, not even last week, three days ago, I had sex, but it was like really mediocre, but whatever, it was fine, but my dick was able to stand up and it was okay. It was just like whatever, the girl that was disgusting ... I mean, not disgusting, if she's listening, you're a nice lady, sorry.

 

Keiran:

I'm going to send this podcast to your mom on Facebook.

 

Gabe:

No!

 

Keiran:

All right man, so yeah, you feel differently about alcohol now. Do you think it's screwing up your life because you've become lazy because you're hungover all the time?

 

Gabe:

Now I know not to drink that much, like I only drink a lot when I know I have nothing to do the next day, so the hangover is whatever. Even if I'm hungover, I have nothing to do. I don't have a job or anything, like I don't do anything other than like comedy and shit. I mean, doing comedy is easy enough. Like not easy enough, but you don't really need all your brain most of the time.

 

Keiran:

Right, because I mean for me, I think like alcohol is good when you're younger because you learn to not care about things anymore. Everyone's kind of repressed in a way, and you learn to just say what you want and I don't know, accept yourself more, but then after awhile, I just got bored of it. Like sometimes I'm drinking, I used to drink eight or nine drinks in a night, now when I have like one drink, I'm just like, "All right." I don't like the taste, and I'm like, "I don't want to feel crappy anymore," you know?

 

Gabe:

Yeah, I feel that, like that's why I switched over to marijuana. It's great, I have my drug dealer now, [Pete Mackerov 00:07:42]. Sorry, I shouldn't have said his name, and he's really good. Yesterday we smoked and played video games at his house.

 

Keiran:

There's the other side where I always feel like when you're hungover and you're too mentally tired to control your thoughts, I feel like that's when you get your good creative thoughts, like your mind just gets bombarded with crazy ideas, and then you laugh at the hilarity of it, and that's where a lot of my good ideas come from.

 

Gabe:

Yeah, no I feel that. I don't know, like sometimes I think the ideas I have are so good, but especially if I go onstage while kind of tipsy, then I really fucking go crazy, and then I kick off my boots and take off my pants and shit onstage, but I haven't done that in awhile.

 

Keiran:

Yeah, I remember I saw that at Richard's Room, that was wild, that was funny. That's the other thing, when you do standup comedy and you're drunk, sometimes you listen to yourself after and you're like, "Oh man, I was terrible."

 

Gabe:

Oh yeah.

 

Keiran:

Like you think you're good, but then you listen to it after and it's really not as good as you thought it was.

 

Gabe:

So embarrassing.

 

Keiran:

Right. What do you think you're going to be like in 15 years, man? Do you think you're still going to be boozing the same way you are today?

 

Gabe:

I don't know, maybe. I mean, I don't do it nearly, it almost seems in my head that I drink a lot, but really I don't, like it's not even that much compared to fucking like a lot of people. Like I don't wake up in the morning and have like a Tito's and soda or whatever, like I'm just ... I don't know, I'm fine, I'm okay, what, are you fucking judging me, man?

 

Keiran:

What's your daily average consumption?

 

Gabe:

Usually none.

 

Keiran:

Really? You go, how often do you drink a week? My thing is I'm probably one to two drinks a day. Yesterday I didn't have any.

 

Gabe:

Yeah? No, I don't do one drinks, no.

 

Keiran:

That's not a lot, that's like taking the edge off, right?

 

Gabe:

No yeah, but I don't even do that. Like I'll probably smoke weed every single day, but I don't drink every day.

 

Keiran:

Okay, well that's different, you've just switched your addiction to something else.

 

Gabe:

Yeah, and man, I mean yesterday I got so high that I thought that the sun fucking, "Hotel California" was amazing. I was like, "This song is so fucking great."

 

Keiran:

What's "Hotel California"? Sing it for me.

 

Gabe:

It's like, "Welcome to the Hotel California."

 

Keiran:

I hate that song, man. I hate that song.

 

Gabe:

"Such a lovely face," that.

 

Keiran:

It's like a bad stoner song.

 

Gabe:

That's why I thought it was amazing, and I hated that song, that song sucks, but then-

 

Keiran:

It does suck.

 

Gabe:

I was playing video games, and I smoked and I got so high I had to put the fucking controller down, the remote control, and then like I just lied down and was like, "Dude, I get this song."

 

Keiran:

All right man, so I guess the moral of the story is, don't be like Gabriel.

 

Gabe:

I don't know, there's no moral.

 

Keiran:

Yeah, there doesn't have to be a moral, you're right.

 

Gabe:

Fucking live and let anal, or whatever, you know?

 

Keiran:

No but, you know when you always hear like they say like a little bit of alcohol every day actually helps you take the stress off, and people who drink just a little bit, live longer?

 

Gabe:

It's true? Okay.

 

Keiran:

Well, I know like red wine has like antioxidants, which helps like fight off cancer or something, but it's funny because I did my tax, I printed out my credit card statements for my tax forms like awhile ago. I noticed, since I stopped doing comedy, my alcohol consumption really really cut down, and I saved a lot of money.

 

Gabe:

That's great.

 

Keiran:

Because you know, beers in bars are like eight, $9 a beer.

 

Gabe:

Yeah, and if you buy a six-pack of Old Milwaukee at the store, it's like $7.

 

Keiran:

Wow, Old Milwaukee's like buying a six-pack of water.

 

Gabe:

Dude, I love Old Milwaukee, I drink that all the time. It's so tasty. Oh yeah, and I recently got fired from my job because of alcohol.

 

Keiran:

Really?

 

Gabe:

I never told you?

 

Keiran:

The bar?

 

Gabe:

Yeah.

 

Keiran:

Really, what happened?

 

Gabe:

Okay, it was nothing. Okay, so I had these two co-workers that hate each other, and I like one of the co-workers, he's like this 49-year-old black cool, nice guy. Then every Saturday and Sunday, or maybe like one of those days, we have a ritual, whenever the restaurant opens, we go outside and have just a can of beer. You know like, "Oh, just a can, it's nice." Then the night manager hates that guy for some reason, I think he's racist, and then he saw one of the beers in a bag, and then he told the manager that there were beers in the back, and you're not allowed to have any beer.

 

 

They look on the cameras and they see that I'm there with them, and so because I'm associated with it, I got fired, and him too. Over nothing, and then everyone's like, "What the fuck? Why did Gabriel get fired?" Then everyone's doing coke in there in that restaurant, everyone's doing ... [McKidman's 00:12:47] Irish Pub, everyone does cocaine, and there's rats, so fuck that place.

 

Keiran:

Get your revenge, Gabriel, get it now. Get your revenge on my podcast.

 

Gabe:

There are rats, the manager is a pussy.

 

Keiran:

Yeah, but restaurants fire people like for no reason at all all the time, that's pretty standard. I got fired from five restaurants in one year.

 

Gabe:

That's great, I was there for three years, man. Three years, and they love me. I don't know, whatever, I don't think they love me, but I was a good worker.

 

Keiran:

Just go back and ask for the job back.

 

Gabe:

I don't want it back, they can suck my dick.

 

Keiran:

All right, anyways Gabriel, that was a fun podcast man.

 

Gabe:

Sorry, I'm getting drunk.

 

Keiran:

No, thanks for talking about your alcohol thoughts, your thoughts on alcohol, it was a fun one. We'll catch you next time, buddy.

 

Gabe:

Yeah, thanks.

 

Keiran:

All right.

 

Gabe:

Love you.

https://www.meetup.com/uncensoredenglishcafe/events/237561665/

Feb 11, 2017

A lot of people want to grow their vocabulary, today we discuss some science behind memory retention, as well as crazy ass retirement requirements of Poland. 

Feb 8, 2017

Yay I did it! Out of my podcast guest slump. Today on the podcast Edward is back and he helps me discuss an idiom you can use to tease, mock or talk about stupidity or stupid people. 

 

*** Transcript ***

 

Keiran:

Hey Edward, how's it going?

 

Edward:

Hey Keiran, how are you doing? I'm doing all right over here.

 

Keiran:

Yeah, I'm doing pretty good as well. Haven't spoken to you in quite a while actually.

 

Edward:

Must be three years now.

 

Keiran:

Yeah, yeah. About three years. I just ... not sure how we got all these podcasts done in the mean time but (laughs)

 

Edward:

Maybe three weeks. Three weeks sounds better.

 

Keiran:

So, what's new on your end?

 

Edward:

Ahhh, not too, too much. My wife and I are actually moving this week. So, that keeps us busy and lots of teaching, lots of editing work. Actually, lots to keep me busy.

 

Keiran:

OK, well I guess if things are going well, you're busy, right?

 

Edward:

Ahhh, yes.

 

Keiran:

So, I had a funny thing that happened to me the other day and I thought we could talk about an idiom while we explore this little story.  I have a, my wife and I both have Mac Books and I actually have a second one which one of my students sent me last year when my other Mac Book's battery died.

 

Edward:

Very generous student.

 

Keiran:

Yeah, it was awesome and it works great. But the problem was she didn't have a charger.

 

Edward:

OK

 

Keiran:

So she sent it to me without a charger. So my wife and I we share this charger which sometimes causes problems because this is the MacBook I use to do my podcasts and all my editing stuff.

 

Edward:

Right.

 

Keiran:

So, I ended up deciding, you know I had to solve this situation and I wanted to buy one online because I didn't want to go to the MacBook store because they're like $140 for a charger.

 

Edward:

Yeah.

 

Keiran:

But I didn't want to get a cheap knock-off one right. Because I think they don't work as well. And after a while I found one on eBay and I thought OK this looks real, I'm gonna get this and it came up to 50 bucks total with shipping. And, when I got it I opened it up and it was an authentic one but the wire was cut.

 

Edward:

Huh

 

Keiran:

(laughs) Yeah! And I thought either the guy that sent it to me is not the sharpest tool in the tool shed or I had another thought that maybe because of this new America First protectionist movement that they realized that this has to be kind of an illegal charger because it's not sold by MacBook if it's being delivered without a box.

 

Edward:

Right.

 

Keiran:

And I thought maybe they would cut it to protect American interests.

 

Edward:

And, who, who are they in this theory?

 

Keiran:

Ahhh, the border patrol or some kind of like shipping regulating organization.

 

Edward:

Right.

 

Keiran:

Because, obviously, all these products are made China, right?

 

Edward:

Right, right. But I think Apple products are made in China as well, yeah?

 

Keiran:

Yeah. I mean it is an Apple product but my theory is that the person that works for the Apple factory, I mean, someone maybe steals them or smuggles them out and then sells them at a lower rate to make some cash. Some quick cash.

 

Edward:

OK

 

Keiran:

I don't know, it's completely out of ...

 

Edward:

So, so what happened next? Did you ...

 

Keiran:

(laughs) I emailed the guy and I'm like ... I sent the guy an email and I go "look man, I got the product but the charger and the wire are cut so I can't use it." ... And he's like ... He wrote me another email like "Well, I'll send another one but please don't cut it when you open it this time." So ...

 

Edward:

Wow.

 

Keiran:

(laughs) so he assumed that I was the one who wasn't the sharpest knife in the cutlery drawer, right.

 

Edward:

Wow, so, did you take a picture to show him?

 

Keiran:

Yeah, yeah. I took a picture, I sent it to him. But, I mean, basically, I think he ... I think someone at the border patrol is an idiot or not the sharpest tool in the knife drawer, the cutlery drawer. Or, he thinks I'm not the sharpest tool in the tool shed.

 

Edward:

OK

 

Keiran:

Or, someone at the border patrol is either not the smartest person, right?

 

Edward:

Right. Right. Not the smartest border patrol agent in the border patrol. (laughs) Is that a catchy expression to use?

 

Keiran:

Nah, I don't know. I don't think it's as good as not the sharpest knife in the drawer.

 

Edward:

OK. So, has the new cord arrived for you?

 

Keiran:

No. It's gonna come in next week but I was wondering ... do you know anyone or have you ever had an experience in your life ... I mean, it's possible that I cut it open while I did it but I really don't think so.

 

Edward:

Yeah.

 

Keiran:

But, have you ever had one of those experiences in your life where you just thought the action that you took was something that made you feel like you weren't the sharpest knife in the drawer?

 

Edward:

I ... well, I can tell you that actually I have a charger story from my recent memory here and I thought of it as soon as you mentioned kind of your situation with having multiple Mac Books and only a few chargers or one charger to use. So, I have two Mac Books and I use one for ... I use one for most of my work and I definitely use it for teaching and so I have two chargers but one of them I carry with me when I go somewhere.

 

Keiran:

OK

 

Edward:

And, I was all ready to leave my home and actually spend the day at my in-laws house and I was planning to teach classes there and I packed everything but I happened to forget the charger. And, I had quite a busy day of teaching. I think I had four classes back to back to back to back to back, right. And, so I packed everything and I thought I was all set and just when I was unpacking things, that's when I had this really clear picture in my head of not packing the charger.

 

 

And, sure enough, I like scrambled though my bag and it was not in there so I had my MacBook, it was fully charged, but the battery only lasted through two classes so I ended up having to cancel the remaining two classes and that was the first time I had actually missed classes so I felt pretty bad about it and my students were very understanding but I felt like an idiot because, you know, you can prepare and you can be so careful about preparing everything but you can still overlook something so important and normally I try to be better than that. So, in that instance, I definitely felt like a pretty dull tool.

 

Keiran:

Yeah, a pretty dull knife. Right. I mean that's, I think that's not as bad as sending a broken product. Or ...

 

Edward:

Oh, not as bad as that. No.

 

Keiran:

Yeah, that's just more forgetfulness.

 

Edward:

In this case though I turned myself into a broken product.

 

Keiran:

(laughs) Yeah, you kind of did! You kind of did. Not a broken product but maybe a product that failed once at some software issues or something, right. Or hardware issues.

 

Edward:

And this was right before Christmas so this was my ... maybe right before I took a little break so I think my students believed my story but they might've also thought "he's just getting lazy before Christmas."

 

Keiran:

Yeah, well, hopefully they were not new students and you have a good track record with them. Right?

 

Edward:

Oh yeah. They were returning students that's why I think they were especially understanding.

 

Keiran:

Right. I've done a few other things. Not like that but just a few other idiotic things in my life where like I go to the store to buy a product. Like one product. Like you're gonna go to the store to get like

 

Edward:

One orange or something.

 

Keiran:

Yeah. Like you're going to get, I don't know, a bottle of juice.

 

Edward:

Right.

 

Keiran:

And, then you go and you grab it and you pay and then you get home and you look at it and it's a bottle of like tomato juice and you're just like "No, how could I do this?" (laughs) "I only came here to get one thing."

 

Edward:

Right.

 

Keiran:

That's, that's really the kind of case where I'm just like "Oh my God, I'm really, I'm really a dull knife."

 

Edward:

I've done kind of similar things I think when I've gone to the store and bought stuff and then, as soon as I pay for it I just walk out with nothing. And, I can make it all the way back home and then realize "hey, what did I just do?" You know, like, I have a receipt here for something that I don't seem to have." So, then you have to back to the store. And, they usually recognize you because not too many people do this. So ...

 

Keiran:

(laughs) I've done that many times man.

 

Edward:

Well, anyways, you make an impression so

 

Keiran:

Yeah, when you go back in they're like "Hey, it's that guy who buys things and doesn't take them!"

 

Edward:

Right. I remember the last time I did that the person, the cashier had been replaced but there was a bag next to the cashier with all my stuff with a note on it that said "red beard"

 

Keiran:

(laughs) Ha! Good old red beard.

 

Edward:

Yeah, so I was just like I guess that's me.

 

Keiran:

Before we wrap this up where do you think it comes from ... not the sharpest knife in the drawer or tool in the shed? Why do we say not the sharpest tool in the shed?

 

Edward:

Well, obviously, to say someone is sharp is to say that they're intelligent. So, that would be a compliment. So, to say that they're not the sharpest tool in the shed or not the sharpest knife in the drawer sounds like, obviously, there are sharper knives or tools around them. So, they're not really standing out for their intelligence.

 

Keiran:

(laughs) Yeah, right. OK.

 

Edward:

How do you feel about these expressions? Would you use them normally? Outside of this podcast?

 

Keiran:

Ahhh, it's not something you're gonna use on a day to day basis but it's something that I think maybe my dad and I will make fun of each other every once in a while.

 

Edward:

OK.

 

Keiran:

It's a fun way to poke fun at someone. You know, when someone does something that maybe they're mentally tired at the end of the day and like I go to get my dad a Coke for a rum and Coke and I bring him up a Sprite. And, he'll just say "Keiran, you're really not the sharpest knife in the drawer."

 

Edward:

Right, right.

 

Keiran:

And, I'll be like "Screw off dad! I'm tired, leave me alone!" (laughs)

 

Edward:

Well, I think the first time I heard one of these expressions I thought it was really clever. I was probably quite young at the time but, you know, someone in elementary school said this and I thought like "Wow! That's a really funny thing to say." You know.

 

Keiran:

That's something!

 

Edward:

Yeah, that's something. That's something I'll remember for the next 25 years. But, it doesn't quite have the same effect as it did then. I don't know if I would use it that much but I think they're definitely good expressions to learn and to recognize. Because you might hear different versions of them as well.

 

Keiran:

Right. And you also get to find out the double meaning of sharp. Right? So, maybe to a native speaker ... I mean I wouldn't say it's a bad expression to learn I just ... it's not as impressive as something else for someone who's a native speaker, right.

 

Edward:

No, I think it's a fine expression to learn and it's definitely something that you'll hear, not necessarily in everyday conversations but definitely in movies and TV shows and, you know what, probably people talking on the bus might use this expression as well. So, it's definitely worth picking up.

 

Keiran:

Great. All right, anyways, Edward, thanks so much for coming on the Podcast again.

 

Edward:

No problem.

Feb 6, 2017

After a long stretch of being stuck in a rut, I decided to do a podcast about being stuck in a rut. Cause every now and then we all find ourselves in this position.

*** Transcript***

Hey everyone, how is it going? Welcome to the podcast for Monday, February the 6th. Hope you had a great weekend. Hope you had an absolutely fantastic end of the week. What did you do? Did you spend it with your friend? Did you spend it with your brothers? Did you spend it with your lovers, husband, your wife, your kids? I don't know. Maybe you had a hot date. Maybe you didn't. Maybe you sat alone at home all by yourself.

 

 

I had a pretty mediocre weekend if I'm going to be completely honest with you. Before I get on to that, today on the podcast we're going to talk about two idioms or expressions being in a rut, stuck in a rut, or being in a slump. Before we do get on that, I'm going to tell you a little bit about my weekend, because it is relevant to this podcast, I guess.

 

 

I'm completely exhausted tonight, if I'm going to be brutally honest with you guys. I spent most of the week playing with my daughter, which is a lot of fun. It is a lot of fun, but it is very energetically draining. It is not a light activity, and it's amazing. A four year old is amazing. It's amazing how much energy they have, how much will power they have, how much they just constantly want to go, go, go, go, go.

 

 

On Saturday and Sunday alone, I think I played about five, or six, or seven games with my daughter, on top of going to be bargaining taking over her skating lessons, taking her swimming. The games are crazy, man! I'm going to tell you what some of these games are. They're hilarious. I always laugh at my daughter wants to do.

 

 

We play this game called dog catcher, where she is a dog catcher and she catches me who ... I am obviously the dog. Then she puts a leash around me and kind of ... It's not a real leash, and then she drags me around the house and then she tells me, "You're a bad dog! Go in the dog cage. Go into the pound," and then I have to go in the closet and she turns off the light and I sit there until she decides it's okay for me to come out.

 

 

We also play Trolls and Bergens, which is inspired by the Trolls movie, where she is a Bergen and I am a Troll, and the Bergen finds the Trolls and then the Bergen eats the trolls. Before the Bergen eats the trolls, the Bergen puts the Troll in the closet, turns off the light and I have to sit in the closet and wait for her to come eat me.

 

 

Then, the last game we play is a game called Paw Patrol. I don't know if you guys know what Paw Patrol is, but Paw Patrol is one of the biggest TV series for kids right now. It's probably for kids around three to seven or eight years old, and it's about this kid called Ryder who has six dogs, or five dogs, I don't know. I can't remember. Every day in the town of Adventure Bay, some animal gets in trouble and then the Paw Patrol has to go and rescue the animal.

 

 

We play this game every freaking day and we watch the TV show every freaking day, and I'm freaking fed up of Paw Patrol. On the note of Paw Patrol, what we're talking about is ... I just want to remind you guys that one fantastic way to improve your English is to watch kids' TV shows. This is more for intermediate or beginner learners, but the great thing about kids' TV shows is they constantly have pretty simple language structures and they repeat them almost on every episode. They almost go over the same idiom, same expressions, a lot of the same language every episode, so you pick it up really quickly, 'cause you keep hearing it.

 

 

All right! That's my little rant about my daughter and my time this weekend. Yeah, I feel like I've been in a rut. I feel like I've kind of been in a slump, I feel like things have not been going my way, and this happens to all of us at some point or another in our life.

 

 

I think life is like you're floating down a river and sometimes the current pushes you in the way you want your life to go, but sometimes the current works against you and pushes you up against the rocks or up down a direction you don't really want to go.

 

 

Lately, in the last week, last few weeks, I feel I've really been struggling with the podcast and my side projects. Last week, it was just the culmination of these. By culmination, I mean ... I think it's just the peak of bad luck.

 

 

What happened last week is I had three podcast recording setup. Generally, in my podcast recordings I record two podcasts, because I just like to batch my work together so I get more done in less time. On Wednesday, the podcast guest had to bail on me. On Saturday, the podcast guest has to bail on me. On Sunday night, which is tonight, right now, the podcast guest had to bail on me.

 

 

As if that wasn't enough. I looked at my schedule this morning and five classes had been rescheduled, and that is really abnormal. Usually, in a week, one might get rescheduled, but five is a lot.

 

 

I just sat there for a minute and I was just in disbelief. I was like, "Really? Is this really happening?" I thought part of the reason I'm in this rut is because I just haven't had enough time to put into the podcast. I've just been overloaded and overwhelmed with my teaching and my students, which is going well, but I thought, "You know what? Instead of getting upset about this, I'm just going to roll with it and use this light week of teaching to put more time into booking new podcast guests and working on my side projects. Hopefully, this is the end of the rut.

 

 

If you guys go up on Google and you look up stuck in a rut or being in the slump, you're probably going to find a definition that says to be not challenged at work or to be stuck in a period of boredom. I disagree with this expression, because stuck in a rut or being in a slump is something we often use when we're talking about sports, when we mean a team is not performing well or they keep losing.

 

 

What a rut actually is, is if you can imagine a county road, or a farm, or a dirt road and you could imagine a big tractor, or a heavy truck driving along that road on a rainy day and leaving a depression in the road. That is basically what a rut is. It's a place where the ground goes down a little bit and it comes back up.

 

 

Being stuck on a rut implies that our car has been stuck in that rut and we can't get it out, or that car has gotten stuck in the rut and we can't get it out.

 

 

Obviously, there's no physical rut in my life, right? But it just feels, like in the last few weeks, things have not been going well and I haven't been able to get going. I think this is the end of the rut. I think this week of less hours of teaching is going to allow me to get things together and get ahead of the game. If not, I think I'm just going to kill myself.

 

Feb 4, 2017

What's motivating you to learn English? Today we talk about motivators, as well as why you should never let your baby be born in Mongolia. 

Feb 1, 2017

Wooowee! This one was last minute! Today we talk about an idiom that you can use to communicate that you're keeping your word, even against resistance. We also talk about building confidence versus trying to get ahead. 

 

*** TraNSCRIPT***

 

Hey everyone, how's it going? It is Wednesday, February 1, 2017. That's right, ladies and gentleman, we have made it to the second month of 2017. That's right, the world has not ended yet. We have a few more days to go. No, seriously guys, I hope you're having a great week so far. A little announcement before I get on with the podcast. The Uncensored English Café is going to be postponed this Sunday due to technical difficulties. Did you notice them? Did you notice them on Monday's podcast that I didn't have the intro in there, I didn't have the intro music as I usually do?

 

 

I had a few problems on my side of the world. I had a few technical difficulties with the computer I usually use to record the podcast, so I did not have that. But it's been solved. But, I am very overwhelmed this week. I'm just going to scrap the Uncensored English Café this weekend. It will be back the following weekend, as well as we will have the Storytelling Challenge the following weekend. Big week next week, exciting.

 

 

Enough about me, how are you? How was your week guys? What did you do? I made a vow to a few of my students not to talk about the topics that I've been talking about recently, because they're popping up all over the place, so I'm going to stick to that. Actually, I just got back from a dinner. I went out with my wife and my daughter to a restaurant in our neck of the woods, not too far from my house. We were having dinner, and I was floating around in my mind for a few seconds there, while my wife was in the bathroom with my daughter.

 

 

I thought, you know what, tonight I didn't really have a topic planned for the podcast, I was just going to spew whatever thoughts were in my mind out into the soundscape of the podcast. Then I remembered I sent out a newsletter today, and I did commit myself to a few topics. I'm going to stick to my guns. I'm going to do what I said I was going to do. I'm going to keep my word. That is the idiom stick to your guns, is when you do what you say you're going to do, you keep your word, often against some protest.

 

 

This is tough, because I was really going to depend on that idiot who we've been hearing a lot about recently to talk about this topic. I hate when I call him an idiot because I don't know him personally. I'm not going to do that, so I'm sticking to my guns. I'm going to still talk about what I planned to talk about, which is my daughter and her skating lessons.

 

 

On Saturday's podcast I talked briefly about this. I talked about how my daughter is doing her second session of skating lessons. The first class I really was not happy, and not comfortable with what went on. I felt she was in the wrong level. It's not a problem that she's the weakest student in the class, but to me the problem was that the teacher wasn't attentive. Part of it is a factor of it being a group class, and part of it is a factor of the teacher just not being the right type of teacher for young kids.

 

 

I know this for a fact because I taught swimming lessons for about seven to eight years. No matter which pool you go to, I promise you this, I promise you there's always one or two instructors in that pool, who are fan-fucking-tastic instructors, and then there's a handful of them who are average, some weeks are better than other weeks, some weeks they don't really care, some weeks they're great. Then there's just a few instructors who just don't really want to do it. They're just 17, 18 and this is their first job, and they don't even realize that they don't like kids yet. It's not their fault, they're not bad people, but they're just vacant, they have no energy in the class, they don't connect with kids, and this was the type of instructor my daughter had.

 

 

I knew it when I left the session with my daughter, I walked by the instructor and I looked her in the eyes. She just had that vacant energy to her. I was like, no she's not the instructor for my kid. I went in there and I talked to the supervisor. We exchanged thoughts. We bounced around some ideas. I'm really happy because we went to the session on Sunday and my daughter was changed to another class, and the two instructors in this class are just so high energy. They're really warm and friendly, and my daughter responds to them. There was an amazing difference. At the end of the first session, my daughter came off the ice saying, "I don't like this. I don't want to do it again." At the end of the second class, my daughter came off the ice saying, "I love this. It was so much fun."

 

 

I'm 70, 80 percent sure it was the instructors. At the same time, I did take [Keiro 05:34] on Saturday night, because I wanted to just get her a little more practice to boost her confidence up. It all comes back to that, the more that you practice the more confident you become. The more confident you become, the more challenges you're willing to take. The more you challenge yourself, the more you grow. With that being said, I hope if you're listening to this podcast, and you ever feel that you're with the wrong tutor, it's not a personal thing. Don't think that they've got something against you, or that they're bad. Maybe it's just you're with the wrong tutor. Switch it up. Go to someone new. Go to someone you connect with, because it'll be way more motivating. Chances are, you'll make progress a lot quicker.

 

 

That's what I had to talk about today. Actually, I had another thing that I wanted to talk about. I've been doing classes on my Talk Life for about three months in French. At the beginning of January, I started a new program for myself where I do about four classes a week. I took a lot of classes with a lot of different tutors. I chose one woman, who has been fantastic. She's not a highly priced tutor. My previous tutor was very highly priced. She was about 40 Canadian dollars, it was about 30 US dollars when I took her. My tutor that I chose recently, her price is very low, but I kind of gave her a little bit of training.

 

 

She is very open minded. She takes my goals very seriously. I bought a 20 package session with her. Just recently I just noticed that her energy kind of got flat. I was just like, oh no, do I got to change tutors. I don't want to get all excited about my class. Every once in awhile you have a class and when it comes around you're like, I don't know if I really want to do it, because you had so many other things that day. You force yourself to go. You force yourself to go, and then class starts and the tutor just seems like they're in the same mood. That's a huge buzz kill and a downer.

 

 

It should not be the student's responsibility to carry the energy in the class. It's never the student's responsibility. I know this because I do this every day. I did nine hours today, and ten hours on Monday. I'm proud of the fact that my classes happen and there's no lulls. There's always a down point, but there's no deep lulls where people are like "Ugh, well, uh, you know, I just, uh, this is awkward, what are we doing here, like uh, are you the teacher? Are you going to do something?" That fucking weird point where you feel like maybe the person you're paying to do their job, should do their job?

 

 

All right guys, I think that's the end of the podcast tonight. Yeah, I had an announcements, but I did it at the beginning. There's going to be a transcript for this one. It might be late, but stay tuned for the Storytelling Challenge. That is coming up in one week.

 

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