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Uncensored English

Looking for a different angle on English language podcasts? Keiran the crazy Canadian goes where the other English podcasts don't... and more. Keiran and his native English guests discuss politically incorrect subjects as well as general English language, idioms, expressions, culture and more all while having natural unscripted conversations. This podcasts feature an educational exploration of language ranging from every day expressions, pop culture expressions, explicit language and anything in between. The podcast is geared towards adults students, professionals, university students as well as ESL teachers who want to step out of the "Safe Space" of the English language education community and have a little more fun. Join Keiran and his guests in their down to earth humorous conversations and learn to speak a more universal edgy form of English like a native! English ISN'T always PC!!!
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Now displaying: December, 2016
Dec 31, 2016

In this episode we talk about how to say you're going going to sleep or you went to sleep with an idiom in English, what it means to be "rusty", and of course for some reason we also talk about self awareness in your profession. I also swear a lot on this episode and blab about comedy. 

Dec 29, 2016

 How can you ask for help without having to say "I need help". No worries, sometimes we don't want to say those words. In this podcast Edward and I discuss a useful idiom you can use to request assistance from others. Transcript is available for free where the transcripts are found. 

***Transcript *** 

Dec 26, 2016

 Today on Uncensored English Gabriel and I have an unscripted conversation about the news, is it worth listening to? Is it always depressing? Feel free to let us know in the comments section on the Facebook page. As always Monday's podcast has a transcript so sign up for our newsletter to get weekly updates about our free transcripts, language challenges and more! 

 

Keiran:

All right, what's up everybody? Today on Uncensored English, we have Gabriel back on the podcast. How is it going, Gabriel?

 

Gabe:

Yeah, pretty good. Feeling good, feeling fresh. Came back from the gym. Wooyeah! 

 

Keiran:

All right, pumping up like Arnold.

 

Gabe:

Yeah, yes.

 

Keiran:

What you do?

 

Gabe:

Okay. I went running. I was running. You go on the tread mill, you run, you run, and then after I warmed up I had toweled myself off a bit. And I did squats, deep squats. And then I did little bit of ... I did some dead lifts. It was nice. And then I did some leg curls. Then I didn't have a good workout yesterday, because I was kind of hung over, so I completed most of the workout I wasn't able to do yesterday. I did some shoulders. I did some fucking arms. And then I did some leg ... I exercised my body.

 

Keiran:

Wait. What's all this for, man? This is for you or this is for the ladies?

 

Gabe:

For me, man. I want to look in the mirror and be like, "Oh, yeah, you fucking look to you piece of shit. Dear God, you're hot."

 

Keiran:

All right, good. All right, anyways, lets move on, man. Gabriel and I, we're going to shoot the shit. We're going to talk about news today and if it's worth watching the news and something about that. Before we do that, we've got uh we got one response from the podcast we did on Russian stereotypes from a Russian person. We're going to just play it right now  so we can all hear it together. You, Gabriel, and I. Here we go.

 

Alex:

Hello, I'm Uncensored English listeners. Hi, Keiran, hi, Gabriel.  I'm Alex, the crazy scientist from Moscow.

Gabe: What a fucking nerd

Alex : After listening to all Gabriel perverted jokes in the 115 episode of Uncensored English I got an idea, to start a fundraising campaign to hire a prostitute for Gabriel, to make Gabriel great again. Bye.

 

Keiran:

All right, that guy got ya.

 

Gabe:

You said that was 74 minutes.

 

Keiran:

Well, it said 74 minutes, but it was only 20 seconds ...

 

Gabe:

A minute. It was only 20 seconds, yeah.

 

Keiran:

Yeah. Right. I don't know if we should hire Gabriel a prostitute, because I'm sure he already has one somewhere.

 

Gabe:

Ah excuse me. They're not called prostitutes. They're called masseuses.

 

Keiran:

Uhhhh man, Asian masseuses of the night?

 

Gabe:

No, I think I moved up to Latin American.

 

Keiran:

What? Is that like a, a price point higher or something?

 

Gabe:

It goes Asian, Latina, Black, and obviously White.

 

Keiran:

All right, that's an interesting scale of uh.

 

Gabe:

Oh, I'm sorry. It goes Russian, Asian, Latina, Black, then White.

 

Keiran:

All right. All right.

 

Gabe:

Yeah. It's not even ... Anyway, whatever. Yeah, thanks ... What's his name. Igor?

 

Keiran:

Alex. It's Alex, dude. You weren't even listening good.

 

Gabe:

Alex Kovalev. Yeah, suck it.

 

Keiran:

All right, anyways ...

 

Gabe:

Next question.

 

Keiran:

Alex, thanks for sending us that message. I think that you're probably right, but you probably don't know that Gabriel already spends money on this kind of stuff. So I don't know that he needs one, but good idea, though.

 

Gabe:

Yeah. Tell him ...nevermind. You know what?

 

Keiran:

Say it.

 

Gabe:

Thank you, Alex.

 

Keiran:

What were you going to say.

 

Gabe:

I hate this guy.

 

Keiran:

Why do you hate him. He responded to the podcast, man.

 

Gabe:

Yeah, he shouldn't have.

 

Keiran:

You're upset because he's making fun of you, or something?

 

Gabe:

Yeah. Who's he think he is, huh? He's a scientist? What is he a scientist of? Being fucking dumb?

 

Keiran:

All right.

 

Gabe:

All right, I'm just joking. Thank you, Alex. Send me an email, gabeomassi.com. Send me dick pics.

 

Keiran:

I don't know, man. What are you doing to do with Russian dick pics, man?

 

Gabe:

I'm going to send them to the police. Tell them he's sending me  underage boy dick pics.

 

Keiran:

Send them to Vladimir Putin. Send them right back.

 

Gabe:

Yeah. Yeah, put you up there in Siberia with the wolves.

 

Keiran:

All right. All right, let's move on here.

 

Gabe:

Yeah.

 

Keiran:

All right. Today we're going to talk about news. Is it bullshit? Is it worth looking at, or not?

 

Gabe:

Yeah, that's true.

 

Keiran:

I generally don't look at the news. I look at the sports. That's mainly all I look at, because the rest of it always seems depressing.

 

Gabe:

You get depressed by reading the news? I don't feel anything when I read the news. I go to this website called Reddit, and then they have this subsection called news, and I'm always looking for a fucking disaster, or something.

 

Keiran:

Well, that's it, man. I think I used to be like that. I used to not care about the news, and I be like every time you see some kind of terrorist thing, I would just think, "Oh, thank God, it's not here." It didn't bother me that much. But I have students in all these countries now.

 

Gabe:

Yeah.

 

Keiran:

I have Turkish students, and there's like a Turkish bombing the other day, and 50 people died, or something.

 

Gabe:

Oh, man, that's a lot of fucking people.

 

Keiran:

I don't know. It's different when you're connected to someone who's affected.

 

Gabe:

Yeah.

 

Keiran:

I mean, I still always thank like, "Thank God, it's not here," but it's always a matter of time before something shitty happens in Canada, too.

 

Gabe:

Yeah, that's true. I'm here on the website, first article, "Off-duty cop has 10 pints of beer, margarita at bar, before deadly, wrong-way crash." Yeah, fuck the police.

 

Keiran:

Right? Really, where was that? Where did that happen? In in the US?

 

Gabe:

Yeah. Four hours ago.

 

Keiran:

What kind of person drinks 10 pints and then a margarita? How do you finish your night with a margarita after 10 pints?

 

Gabe:

I think maybe it was he was on a date with a girl, he had a margarita, the girl obviously didn't like him and then left him, and then he had 10 pints of beer.

 

Keiran:

No, you said he had 10 pints and then he had a margarita.

 

Gabe:

I mean, I don't know. It's the headline of the article. It's not like giving you like... I don't know. It didn't say he had it all in order. It's probably ... I mean like you know, he maybe had some food. They didn't put that in the headline. Probably had a hotdog.

 

Keiran:

Yeah. So you don't do the news? You do any news, or just Reddit?

 

Gabe:

Yeah, I like the internet news. I go on certain websites. I don't like CNN or like Fox. It's too biased. CNN is very liberal, and Fox is too conservative.

 

Keiran:

You know what's weird, though? Whenever I go into those restaurants in Montreal, like Al-Tahib or any of uh these ethnic restaurants, they're always playing CNN. I don't get it. They're always playing it.

 

Gabe:

They're like the biggest, right? No, they might be the biggest.

 

Keiran:

They're the most blatantly ... Like you said, they're the most blatantly bias news shows ever.

 

Gabe:

Yeah.

 

Keiran:

It's so transparent, and it's just hard to even sit through it.

 

Gabe:

A lot of time, it's all like programming rather than news. It's like a TV show, so it's mostly entertainment, and it's fun to watch. I can watch like CNN, because it's just fun. There's all these colors, and what's his name, Wolf Blitzer looks like a fucking weirdo. He's all white, with his crazy beard, and he looks like a cartoon character.

 

Keiran:

Yeah.

 

Gabe:

It's fun. Like, I could watch that shit all day. When I'm America, when I'm visiting my grandmother in Florida, I can watch fucking CNN all day long. It's just so fun, because I'm like, "Oh, I'm American now." Like, I need to know.

 

Keiran:

But you're looking at it from the prospective of "This is dumb shit, and I'm laughing at it," right?

 

Gabe:

I'm looking at it ... I'm not laughing all the time, but I'm like ... Okay, in 2000-whatever-it-was, remember the Boxing Day tsunami, in what's it called, Thailand?

 

Keiran:

That must have been a while ago, right?

 

Gabe:

It was like in 2005, 2006. I was in Florida for that, and man I didn't have CNN at my home, because we were all poor, but my grandmother had TV, all these channels. It was the first time I had access to 24-hour news, so I was just watching TV all day long you know. Then, before that, the only time I was ever watching the news for that long period of time was 9/11. I remember when I was 11 years old, and it was on TV, non-stop. Like, they stopped every channel. ABC, NBC was just 9/11 news, and then they showed Bush declared war, and it was just basically 24-hour news on the war.

 

Keiran:

Yeah.

 

Gabe:

It was so interesting, man. I was freaking out. It made me all paranoid and shit, fucked me up now.

 

Keiran:

Yeah. Well, that's the kind of garbage that we see on the news, right? I mean, this stuff happens all the time, but you only hear about it when it happens to North America, on our news.

 

Gabe:

Yeah.

 

Keiran:

Like, you never hear about all the other shit. Did you hear about the airplane that went down in Brazil?

 

Gabe:

Today?

 

Keiran:

No, last week?

 

Gabe:

No.

 

Keiran:

There's an airplane that crashed, and it had like a whole soccer team on it, and they were going to the finals.

 

Gabe:

What? Renal Dino?

 

Keiran:

No, I don't think it was that.

 

Gabe:

I think that's Spanish.

 

Keiran:

But they're going to the finals in Columbia, or something.

 

Gabe:

Jeez.

 

Keiran:

Everybody died except for six people, and the plane crashed because the pilot didn't fill up.

 

Gabe:

Oh, what a fucking dummy, man.

 

Keiran:

I know. Like, if the plane crashes because of, I don't know, a storm or something you can't control, that's sad. But the plane crashed because the guy didn't fill up? That's just pathetic, man.

 

Gabe:

Yeah.

 

Keiran:

It's such a stupid tragedy.

 

Gabe:

Maybe isn't the airport supposed to fill up. It's not the airplane is going to a gas station. He's going to an airport, right?

 

Keiran:

Yeah. I don't know. I mean, I imagine. But it maybe a private ... This is a private plane, right? Because it's a team plane. So maybe there's different protocols, or something. I don't know.

 

Gabe:

Got it.

 

Keiran:

I guess, news is always depressing. When do you look at the news and it's like something good?

 

Gabe:

Fuck, man. Let me see. Let me find something now.

 

Keiran:

Unless it's sports.

 

Gabe:

Oh, this one's good. "Firefighter eating at restaurant notices carbon monoxide symptoms, saves 32 people."

 

Keiran:

Is that in the US?

 

Gabe:

Yeah, this is all US news.

 

Keiran:

So the moral of this story is trust firefighters, not policemen.

 

Gabe:

Yeah, yeah. Look at that. He noticed it. He was like, "Hey, wait a minute. Everyone's throwing up," and he saves everyone.

 

Keiran:

I wonder what's the, what happens to a kid in his life that makes him become a firefighter rather than a policeman? Because a policeman is just a thief for the government, right?

 

Gabe:

I don't know. I mean like I feel like firefighters are inherently lazy people, you know?

 

Keiran:

Yeah. "I don't want to work all month, but when I do have to work, I'll risk my life and run into a burning building."

 

Gabe:

Yeah. It's worth it. You're like, "Man, I get paid to fucking play Nintendo and lift weights." It's basically my life, without the fire. You know?

 

Keiran:

Right, it is pretty much the same as your life. Right.

 

Gabe:

Yeah. Except I'm a fucking uh comedy fighter.

 

Keiran:

That was lame.

 

Gabe:

Whatever. See, I'm not good at comedy.

 

Keiran:

It's really lame. Ah yeah yeah except that they work every two weeks and you work every weekend.

 

Gabe:

Yeah. Oh, man, yeah.

 

Keiran:

Basically, my conclusion on news is that news is depressing and probably pretty useless, most of the time. What do you think?

 

Gabe:

I mean, I'll wake up every morning and go on whatever website really quick, just to see. I mean, we just, at this point, we have so much access to information that like you can just look at it and it just doesn't even register completely. I does depress me, it doesn't to anything to me. I just read it, and I'm like, "Oh, yes, more please. More information." Then I go to video game news, and I'm like, "Oh, yeah, I love video games." Then movies, RottenTomatoes.com, look up movie reviews, and I dunno then celebrity gossip. "Oh, the Kardashians. Ooooo." No, I don't know.

 

Keiran:

That sounds fun, because then you can just judge them, right?

 

Gabe:

I mean, they're not doing anything anymore. They're not like fucking up at all.

 

Keiran:

It's just like they went to a restaurant and then they ordered some soup.

 

Gabe:

Yeah. Yeah, they like soup. Yeah, I don't know. Whatever.

 

Keiran:

All right ...

 

Gabe:

Oh, yeah. I wanted to say I was on Facebook, and I saw I was about to call him George Washington, fuckin Denzel Washington, he was talking to I don't know who, some fucking person with a microphone, and he was talking about the news. He said this, he said this quote, "If you read the news, no if don't read the news, you're uninformed, but if you read the news, you're ... " Did you capture that burp in my throat?

 

Keiran:

Yeah, it was really gross, that gurgling sound. It's pretty disgusting.

 

Gabe:

Let me take that back. "If you don't read the news, you're uninformed, but if you read the news, you're misinformed." So that's my statement of the day, his statement.

 

Keiran:

All right, you're paraphrasing him.

 

Gabe:

Yeah.

 

Keiran:

It's pretty accurate, though.

 

Gabe:

Yeah.

 

Keiran:

It's a little the same thing, I remember Will Smith said something like, he said like, "I vote so I can complain" And that's the wrong thing. The thing is I don't vote so I complain.

 

Gabe:

Yeah, yeah.

 

Keiran:

If you voted, then you put them in, so you can complain.

 

Gabe:

Yeah. Then again ...

 

Keiran:

But, I guess, everyone has their stupid moments, right?

 

Gabe:

Yeah. Then again, I get all my news from super rich black superstars.

 

Keiran:

Yeah, black men with more money than you'll ever have.

 

Gabe:

Yeah. I get it. I'm like, "Yes, what else? I need more news, Denzel."

 

Keiran:

I think you should trust your news from Chris Rock over Will Smith or Denzel.

 

Gabe:

Oh, Chris Rock? He's a smart guy, no?

 

Keiran:

Yeah, that's what I'm saying. I mean, Will Smith, I don't know I don't like the stuff he produces. Denzel, I don't watch anything he produces, man. He just like your Hollywood Dreamboat for Women.

 

Gabe:

He's 64 years old. he's an old man now.

 

Keiran:

So women like the older dudes. You should know that, man.

 

Gabe:

Not that much. I don't know. Whatever. He's a good actor. He looks pretty young, still. You know? He's always chewing gum.

 

Keiran:

Exactly. You just said it yourself.

 

Gabe:

Yeah, all right.

 

Keiran:

All right. We're going to wrap this up, guys. I hope you liked hearing me and Gabriel shoot the shit about news. Uh thank you, Alex, for insulting Gabriel. It was very funny.

 

Gabe:

Yeah, fuck you.

 

Keiran:

Guys, if you haven't subscribed to the page on UncensoredEnglish.ca, or on the Facebook page, so you can get free transcripts emailed to you, and you can find out about our next storytelling challenge and our live lessons, which are going to be happening soon on Facebook. We'll catch you on the next episode of Uncensored English.

Dec 24, 2016

A lot of people think they need to speak to people to improve their English, obviously this helps. But it's not the only way. Today in the podcast we speak briefly about video logs, we go for a walk around my neighbourhood, and I read you one of my favourite holiday season stories. The video is available on the youtube channel.  

 

*** Video available on Youtube Channel***

 

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCgO0VCOAOVtj0X8X48oFhHw

 

 

Dec 22, 2016

 

Today on Uncensored English I talk about what makes me lose my head, how you can use the idiom and of course a lot more! This is a double episode. In the second half David Peachey comes on and shares stories from his latest vacation across South East Asia. The transcript is available for the second half of the podcast. 

***Transcript***

Keiran:

Hey everyone, how's it going? Welcome back to the podcast and today we have one of our all time favorite guests back on the podcast.

 

David:

Ooh, I'm a favorite.

 

Keiran:

Yeah, Mr. David Peachy. How are you doing, David?

 

David:

Hey, I'm going great Keiran, how are you going?

 

Keiran:

I am going great. Going great, that's such an Australian-ism.

 

David:

It is, yeah. How are you going, how's it going. [crosstalk 00:00:25]

 

Keiran:

Yeah, that's all right both forms of English are valid, right? Um

 

David:

Yes.

 

Keiran:

David I haven't seen you for a while and I have kind of an odd little secret to confess.

 

David:

Mm-hmm (affirmative)-

 

Keiran:

I have a little bit of an obsession with your name. When I'm all alone in the house sometimes I just introduce you just for fun. I go "Ladies and gentlemen, David Peachy."

 

David:

It's a great name to introduce.

 

Keiran:

Right. Right. And then I do it in French "Madames et Monsieurres, David Peachy."

 

David:

And I would say "Bonjour."

 

Keiran:

So David you were on an exciting trip I imagine.

 

David:

Yes I was AWOL, I was absent without leave for about three weeks.

 

Keiran:

Oh man, I mean I know where you went because you told me but why don't you tell the listeners where you took a trip to.

 

David:

Okay, hello listeners. I decided to give myself a break before the year was out, so I gave myself three weeks, roughly around East Asia/ South East Asia. It's not much space you can cover with that, but I managed to visit Hong Kong and Macau, both for the first time, catch up with some old friends in Malaysia, and then, again for the first time, explore Myanmar.

 

Keiran:

So, what were you exploring in Myanmar? I'm pretty unfamiliar with it. I imagine, based on my little knowledge I have of Myanmar, that you would probably be visiting uh ... temples? I'm just throwing it out there. Am I right?

 

David:

Absolutely. Yes. We were visiting, I went with my friend from Malaysia, and we visited a pile of temples in Yangon, that's the city in the South. Mandalay, I think it's the old capital, it's central North, and we also spent a couple of day halfway along the river, again central Myanmar, and it's a place called Bagan, and there are over 2000 temples in this 20 square kilometer space. You can't walk more than five minutes without falling over some kind of temple, really. It was very, very bizarre.

 

Keiran:

That's cool. Why are there so many temples in this area?

 

David:

It was the ancient capitals. It was the ancient capital actually, and I think back then they built these little temples to... Honestly I really don't know, I think it was a show of power or riches. What we see now, it looks like a scene from Indiana Jones and, I don't know the hundred temples, the 2000 temples, because you see the landscape and then you see all of these ancient temples popping up. Apparently back then, a few hundred years ago, there were actual other buildings, like wooden structures, farmers, cities, around these temples, which we don't see, it just looks like these temples have popped up in the middle of some kind of jungle, but really it was a properly civilized and populated place.

 

Keiran:

Right. The temples, I just googled it now because I wanted to see what you were talking about.

 

David:

Yeah, Bagan. B-A-G-A-N.

 

Keiran:

It just looks spectacular. It's amazing.

 

David:

Yeah. I have to say it's really, really strange just to walk any direction for about five or ten minutes and you're suddenly at a temple of some sort.

 

Keiran:

Right.

 

David:

Small or large.

 

Keiran:

Yeah, now I gotta ask you, I used to live in Vancouver and there was this small, little place that I always used to go to for cheap eats. It was called Hawkers Delight, I remember really well. It was a Malaysian restaurant, and the food there was insanely good, and I have a few students in Singapore and one of my students told me they went to Malaysia for a trip, I forget where it was, but they said... and I'm always skeptical when people tell me funny things about countries I don't know, but they said in Malaysia there tends to be more uhm I guess to put it in a funny way chunky monkeys, because their food is just so delicious, and I guess it's not the food you want to eat to maintain a thin form. But, I know this is a stretch but, what's your opinion on these ideas I've thrown out at you?

 

David:

Uh, well, good question because I have two old friends there who are very good friends.  And their plan for me before I landed was to basically fill me with food, as much food as possible. There are many types, many influences, so you've got the traditional Malaysian style, you've got your nasi lemak, which you see the fat riot for nasi lemak, and you've got a lot of Indian and Chinese influences as well, so I had a lot of Indian style food, Pakistan style food. It's actually, I understand, it's cheaper to eat out than to actually cook at home, in some cases.

 

Keiran:

Yeah.

 

David:

Yeah.

 

Keiran:

That's one of the great parts about every part of Asia I've been in, it's just restaurants are so cheap and the quality of the food is awesome. It was always amazing. In Canada if I go to a restaurant with my wife, it's gonna cost us generally upwards of $60, which isn't really cheap for me.

 

David:

Yeah that's steep.

 

Keiran:

Yeah, and I'm not always thrilled with the quality of the food so I think we get the low end of the stick in terms of fine dining over here.

 

David:

Okay, I'm just going to do a quick calculation. I just went to work out how many ringgits, the Malaysian ringgits to the dollar. I'll follow the US dollar, my gosh so a full plate of food $1.12 US.

 

Keiran:

Oh my god, that's depressing.

 

David:

You get a full plate of food. In Australia that would cost, five to six times as much. This was just a little place, I just walked around the corner and saw a large buffet.

 

Keiran:

I would never cook again if food was that price in Canada.

 

David:

Yeah. It's wonderful.

 

Keiran:

So, David, what would say was the highlight of the trip? Or was there any interesting adventures or experiences you had?

 

David:

Uhm... Good question. I think, because I and my foody friend went through Myanmar, we did a bit of a food exploration, and we realized Burmese food is, it's a little bit of influence from a bit from India, bit from China. It's not really too spicy. I think the thing with, if you're eating in Myanmar, you'll order your curry but it looks actually very, very small. Maybe three or four chunks of meat when it comes out and you're thinking "wow that's not a lot" and then you get about six or seven side dishes full of vegetables. Suddenly your table is absolutely full of all of these little side dishes and you get rice, and you get unending soup. And yeah you can fill yourself up really well for just a couple of US dollars per person. 

 

Keiran:

Yeah, oh my god.

 

David:

Wow.

 

Keiran:

It makes living in North America so depressing.

 

David:

Yeah.

 

Keiran:

I remember Korean restaurants are just amazing in the same sense. You would go and you'd get served immediately and the food's cooking in front of you but you would get the side dishes, which is called pancha, and you'd always get four or six of them and they'd fill them up when they're empty.

 

David:

Yeah, it's unlimited side dishes. I really enjoyed that. Some of my Korean friends here in Brisbane took me out immediately for Korean food.

 

Keiran:

You don't pay extra for them, you're not punished by a hefty bill. At least not in Korea. I don't know about...

 

David:

Yeah, true.

 

Keiran:

What's the price range of Korean restaurants in Australia?

 

David:

Good question. You'd still pay around twenty to twenty five Australian dollars. What's that, maybe about just under twenty US dollars. Which isn't too bad, especially if you're having a hot pot which everyone shares.

 

Keiran:

Right.

 

David:

Everyone's pretty satisfied at the end and you have your Soju or your Makolli, or just your regular Korean beers.

 

Keiran:

Oh yeah. Yeah I always try to stay away from the Soju. That stuff was dangerous if you had too much of it, because they come in such small bottles and in Korea the bottles are, I don't think they're more than two dollars each

 

David:

Yes I remember that.

 

Keiran:

You go out with four or five people and by the end of the night your table's just covered in bottles and it's hard to stand up sometimes.

 

David:

Yeah, good memories.

 

Keiran:

Or hazy memories, depending how much Soju you had.

 

David:

Actually there was one food experience. I love exploring the food, that's obvious, talking about a food blog. Something I saw in Yangon in the south. We flew in to Yangon and we were flying out of Yangon, so I thought "alright I've got to find this again," it's a little street side store, the store holder has this bid bowl of broth and piled against the side is offal, nothing but offal. Kidneys and livers and intestines and tongue.

 

Keiran:

Sorry what was that word you said, I didn't hear it. "Piled on the side is" what?

 

David:

Offal, offal. O-F-F-A-L, innards. Guts.

 

Keiran:

Can you spell it for me, I'm not familiar with it.

 

David:

Yeah, O double F-A-L.

 

Keiran:

Okay. I learned something new, great. So explain again what it was, you said innards and intestines.

 

David:

Okay, you'd see this little, how would I say a little counter just above the big bowl of broth, and you'd maybe identify some of these insides of the animals. Like tongue and your tripe, your intestines, kidneys, liver. The store holder I could say would cut these into little kebab sizes, throw them onto a little bamboo kebab and just sit them in the broth, and then you just sit down and start eating away, and you count out the little skewers that are left. It was really, really interesting. AND I believe in not wasting the animal.

 

Keiran:

Yeah, yeah right.

 

David:

Yeah. A good example.

 

Keiran:

That sounds so interesting. That's one of the interesting parts about travelling is you always witness these things that are normal to the people who live in that area but they just blow your mind. This sounds really strange to me too, and I remember when I was in Mongolia, my wife is from Mongolia, her family I mean not her immediate family her uncles family have a sheep farm, and it's essentially a fence in the middle of the field with 700 sheep inside of a fence, and in the morning they just open the fence and all the sheep go out and they graze. And they tied one of the sheep up to the fence and I was confused, I was like "what are they doing with that sheep?" and that was our dinner.

 

 

But it's just one of those things that we don't see this, we don't witness this. I had a discussion with one of my Polish students, we don't see the process of the animal being killed and they kill it in a very quick way, and a very pain free way to the animal, out of respect for the animal, and they dismember the whole animal right there outside on the grass and I was just, I was just shocked, I was like "Oh my god, this is insane." We're not used to seeing that. At least I'm not. Right. 

 

David:

Definitely. They have a similar tradition in Slovakia, and I think also in the Czech Replublic. It's called a zabietska, which is "a little killing." And basically what happens is, just a family day, the family would have a pig that they had fed through the summer, it's getting cold, so for as winter sets in, they start about sunrise, they'll stone the pig, slaughter the pig, drain the blood, and then go through the process of converting the whole pig into basically pork products.

 

 

I was lucky enough that some of my students organized this zabietska for me and so I could see and join in the process from the beginning. In the morning we start with the brains, because that goes off quickly, fried up with scrambled eggs, put it on toast, that's your breakfast. Brain and egg on toast, yep. While we're cutting up onions and garlic for everything else, making sausages, making bacon, making pressed meat. It's really, really fascinating, the whole process.

 

Keiran:

Yeah, these are the experiences you don't have if you don't get out of the house and travel. Such an example, incredible way to experience life, to go around the world and see how other people live.

 

David:

Exactly. Something you ya, in Australia everything pretty much comes from the supermarket.

 

Keiran:

Right, right. It's the same thing in Canada.

 

David:

I think we just don't get to see the real the reality of food sometimes.

 

Keiran:

No, we just see the finely packaged piece of meat with a little label on it and a price. It's very uh, detached from what actually happens in the countries we live in, we don't see the whole process.

 

David:

Yeah. Actually I have a little confession to make. This is from my first year in Slovakia, because there are fruit trees everywhere. Until I actually saw apples on a tree, I never realized that the apple fruit actually grew in clusters, because every cartoon I'd seen of an apple tree, the apples were evenly distributed around the tree.

 

Keiran:

Yeah.

 

David:

When I saw apples for real I saw "hang on, the fruit are kind of clustered together, that's really strange."

 

Keiran:

Yeah, and there's nothing like eating apples fresh off the tree, they just taste so much different and so much better.

 

David:

Oh yeah, absolutely.

 

Keiran:

Well, David we're running out of time here so I just want to thank you, again, for coming on the podcast and sharing your experiences travelling with us.

 

David:

Yeah, thank you for having me again.

 

Keiran:

And guys, we're gonna do, for you listeners out there, we're gonna be doing the story telling challenge not too long in the future, so if you haven't signed up for the newsletter you can go do it on my Facebook page, you can go do it on uncensoredenglish.ca and of course we'll send you guys podcast updates with all the transcripts and all the announcements for upcoming events. Alright again, so again, thank you David, have a great day.

 

David:

Will do, you too.

 

Keiran:

We'll catch you guys on the next episode of Uncensored English.

 

Dec 20, 2016

How can you say something is gaining momentum? Today we share a great idiom exactly for that purpose. Also we laugh at ourselves and the ridiculous car accident that happened in Montreal last week. 

 *** Transcript*** 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HfDZixZFzms  <-- Accident video

 

 

Keiran:

All right, what's up everybody? Today on the podcast we have one of the other famous Canadians back on here with us. How's it going Edward?

 

Edward:

It's going well, it's good to be famous.

 

Keiran:

Yes it is good to be famous, I wish I had a little more of that uh financial fame though.

 

Edward:

No, no, the notoriety, just the, just the fame in terms of no money attached to it, that's where it's at.

 

Keiran:

That's what you're going for.

 

Edward:

That's what I'm going for, yeah.

 

Keiran:

Well, we were going to do a video podcast today but Edward is a little bit embarrassed because my beard is more glorious than his.

 

Edward:

Sounds right.

 

Keiran:

So unfortunately, we're just going to do an audio one today. But O got um, one of my students sent me this video, I didn't hear about this until he sent it to me, and it's a pretty funny video. And uh, you've seen the video, right?

 

Edward:

I watched the video yesterday. I had actually talked to students about it during the week, describing it, because I'd read a headline about it and I'd read a little article about it. I described it to my students without having watched it, and I finally watched it yesterday, and it lived up to the description. It was even more ridiculous that I thought it would be.

 

Keiran:

Yeah yeah, you're right, and a few weeks we did a podcast on Russians and we made of Russians for Russian stereotypes, so you know why not laugh, let's laugh at ourselves today?

 

Edward:

It was embarrassing, it's definitely embarrassing, and once we've described it I think people will see why it's an embarrassment for Montreal. Not for Canada as a whole, I think the city of Montreal comes out looking really badly.

 

Keiran:

Right, like I think if this was Vancouver and they had a snowstorm in Vancouver- okay, we've got to describe what the video is a little bit. We're going to watch the video, we're going to describe it to you guys, but basically what the video is is there was a mild, I would call it a mild snowstorm. I wouldn't even call it a snowstorm. I would say there was a heavy snowfall in Montreal, and the next day there was a series of comical car collisions because of it, 

 

Edward:

involving city vehicles. Which, it makes it especially enjoyable or embarrassing depending on what side you're on I guess. But yeah, they just did not do a very good job at all of clearing the road or of salting the road, or of putting sand down, or gravel.

 

Keiran:

Or anything.

 

Edward:

And they paid the price. City vehicles paid the price. In the end though, taxpayers will have to pay for the repairs.

Keiran:

Yeah, that means us.

 

 

 

Edward:

We still pay the price, yes.

Edward:

But it's funny to watch I guess.

 

Definitely, maybe that's priceless.

 

Keiran:

The reason why this is so embarrassing for us as Montrealers, is because we are a city that handles snow removal generally very well, right?

 

Edward:

We have to.

 

 

I mean, every year winter comes and we have to put millions of dollars towards removing the snow so that the city can still function, so this is embarrassing.

 

Keiran:

It's very embarrassing, but you know if you're in another part of Canada like Vancouver, in Vancouver if there's one centimeter of snow-

 

Edward:

Which there is like right now.

 

Keiran:

Really?

 

Edward:

Yeah, the last week there have been stories about, kind of similar things happening in Vancouver, but it's understandable. In Vancouver they're not prepared for-

 

Keiran:

No, they never get snow. They don't even need winter tires there.

 

Edward:

That's the problem. People don't have winter tires, so now that there is a little bit of snow they're sliding around like crazy.

 

Keiran:

So guys, what we're going to do is we're going to play the video and then I guess, you want to the narration for the video?

 

Edward:

Sure, it's just it's a minute and 47 seconds, if people want to watch this video they can find it on Youtube. If they search for icy road in Montreal it should be one of the first videos that pop up.

 

Keiran:

Right, and I'm going to put the link in the description anyways, in the podcast description.

 

Edward:

There you go.

 

Keiran:

So, here we go. This narration is brought to you by Edward, and do you want to plug your podcast?

 

Edward:

Sure. You've probably heard my voice before on this podcast, but I do have Edwards ESL Edge podcast as well, and you can find that on Itunes, on Soundcloud, anywhere in the world.

 

Keiran:

So, if you're a first time listener to the podcast, you can also check out Edwards after this. All right, so let's watch the video and Edwards going to narrate things for you.

 

Edward:

Okay, so right now a city bus is sliding quite quickly down- oh. Just slammed into a bunch of parked cars, and they are all sliding into an intersection. Pretty good so far. Now, a taxi driver has done a heroic spin maneuver to avoid the bus. Fast forward to, looks like a worker in his truck, pick-up truck, has just slammed into the bus.

 

Keiran:

The ladder really flew out there a little bit.

 

Edward:

Now, there's another city bus coming, it's picking up steam. I wonder, I mean-

 

Keiran:

It's so stupid.

 

Edward:

You probably have a full busload of people. This street is, it's downhill, so once they start sliding on the ice there's no stopping, and now the bus is really-

 

Keiran:

Yeah, it's picking up speed.

 

Edward:

Just smashed into that work truck. It looked like something went into the windshield even. Now, the work truck is being pushed into the middle of the road, and oh boy.

 

Keiran:

I think this is the best part right here.

 

Edward:

Now, there's a police cruiser that has just spun around and is going down the hill backwards, and is completely out of control. Not going very fast, but-

 

Keiran:

He's got his lights on, too. Making him look like more of an idiot.

 

Edward:

Yeah, sirens are going off, and it just connected with the bus. This is the best though, this is a snowplow. The job of the snowplow is to clear the street, and it is sliding down the street.

 

Keiran:

You know, he's even salting the road as he goes.

 

Edward:

That's dedication. He is about to smash into the police cruiser.

 

Keiran:

And boom.

 

Edward:

The shovel on the front, like the plow on the front of the truck, really gets under the police cruiser and lifts it a couple of feet off the ground.

 

Keiran:

That was a great video.

 

Edward:

Yes, I've seen two versions of this now. I saw, there's a seven minute version of people at work watching from their office window and describing everything. It really is chaos.

 

Keiran:

We got to thank, a big shout out to Alex for sending me this video, and he was laughing at me and making fun of me during the class. Alex is one of my students. I was all up for it, man, because you know what when you look like an idiot, you've got to just laugh at yourself and enjoy the moment, and-

 

Edward:

It's easier when you can laugh as well.

 

Keiran:

It wasn't really me that did this. This is the thing about being Canadian, is like I don't associate myself with Canada, like I'm not a proud Canadian.

 

Edward:

You're not very patriotic?

 

Keiran:

No, I'm not patriotic at all. I enjoy living here, because it's a safe, fair, as fair as a country can be I think.

 

Edward:

It's a very good place to live.

 

Keiran:

Right, it's a good place to live.

 

Edward:

I don't know if there are any perfect places to live, but you know Canada is a very good place to live. Can I tell you yesterday, I- well I came back to Montreal from Toronto two days ago, and in Toronto there's no snow. Right now there is no snow on the ground at all. Actually, last time I was in Montreal I put my snow tires on my car, and then I drove back to Toronto and like I said no snow on the ground. So, yesterday was my first time actually driving in the snow this winter, and I went right through an intersection.

 

Keiran:

Nice.

 

Edward:

I was only going about 15 kilometers an hour, but-

 

Keiran:

You couldn't stop in time.

 

Edward:

Yeah, and even the ABS brakes were shaking, the car was just completely frozen in place, but sliding along the ice. Luckily nobody was in front of me and luckily, I mean it was a very small road so that's why they hadn't salted it I guess, but yeah it was a nice wake up call.

 

Keiran:

That's a fun part about the winter though, I like you, you got to change your driving style and sometimes you get the slippery roads and you get the ABS coming on.

 

Edward:

You need to have that experience like once in the winter to get you into winter driving mode, because after that I was like, "Okay, oh I have to start stopping, I have to start stopping 200 meters before the stop sign." Because otherwise, even if you're only going 15 kilometers an hour you're still potentially going to slide through the intersection.

 

Keiran:

All right guys, I think we're going to wrap this up. I hope you liked this podcast about us laughing at our own city. I hope you enjoyed the video, and- actually before we end the podcast, I noticed you said a good idiom throughout that podcast, which was the bus was picking up steam.

 

Edward:

Yes, to pick up steam.

 

Keiran:

Was it collecting steam that was on the road?

 

Edward:

I believe it was collecting steam from the road. Actually, it's a good expression to mean that you're picking up speed, you're getting faster and faster. I would like to say maybe it's from like a steamship in the past, you know a steamship picking up steam. Or maybe, actually probably a steam engine train makes more sense. You're picking up steam means you're going faster, you're putting out more steam.

 

Keiran:

Maybe, I don't really know, but that seems to make sense.

 

Edward:

That's for your students to find out, and tell you on, or during their next class.

 

Keiran:

During the class, come on the Facebook page, see if you guys can find out the meaning of picking up steam, the meaning, the origins of picking up steam. Right, and that's it guys, I hope you enjoyed this podcast, I hope you guys are picking up steam in your mastery of the English language through listening to our podcasts. Remember, this one is going to be transcripted so you can go find the transcript, and rate it, review it, and we'll catch you next time on the next podcast of uncensored English.

 

Dec 17, 2016

Are you working on improving your fluency? You're writing transcripts right? You're not writing transcripts? Really? Why not? Today I talk a little about writing transcripts, Xmas, some current events around the world and a few idioms.

Dec 15, 2016

There's so many ways to learn a language, today Sabrina from Calm English comes on to share some of her most creative techniques that you can use to retain the English you're learning in a more efficient manner. 

Dec 13, 2016

Learn a great way to express that you can connect with someone or you can't. Anna is back on the podcast and we bounce around this great idiom and have some fun.

*** Transcript***

 

Keiran:

Hey Anna, how's it going?

 

Anna:

Hello again, Keiran. How are you?

 

Keiran:

Good, I'm good. It's good to have you back on the podcast. So what's new with you?

 

Anna:

It's good to be back.

 

 

What's new? Not a lot. The sky is up, still.

 

Keiran:

Yeah, it's been a long time since we last talked.

 

Anna:

Yeah.

 

Keiran:

Anna, today on the podcast I thought it would be really fun if we could just share an idiomatic expression that you often hear in your life or that you often use, you know, with people around you or at least when you lived in Australia. People can use no matter where they go in the english speaking world.

 

 

So if you think about one, is there any one that pops into your mind?

 

Anna:

Yeah, there's one that I really like and that I use very often and that's "to be on the same wavelength as someone".

 

Keiran:

Okay, to be on the same wavelength. Okay, and what specifically do you mean by that?

 

Anna:

Yeah, you know how sometimes you go to a party and you meet someone and within a few minutes you kind of already know that you're going to be friends.

 

Keiran:

Yeah.

 

Anna:

Yeah, you have that moment where you're like, hang on we like, we think the same way or we're interested in the same things and straight away you're like, wow! This person and I, we share something, yeah? This saying to be "on the same wavelength as someone" basically explains that relationship. That we feel like, you know, a wavelength is part of what they use in radio for example, so it's like we're tuning in to the same radio station in our heads.

 

Keiran:

Right, exactly. That's an awesome way of explaining it.

 

Anna:

Yeah.

 

Keiran:

It's so interesting that you say that because it's so true that even when, you know, I would go on dates back in the day.

 

Anna:

Back in the day.

 

Keiran:

When I was single. It's an amazing thing that you can, you know, go out with someone and within a matter of minutes you're just like, mmm this person's nice but we're not on the same wavelength, right?

 

Anna:

Yup, exactly.

 

Keiran:

I can't see myself being with someone who doesn't like A, B, and C or I can't even connect ...

 

Anna:

Curb your enthusiasm.

 

Keiran:

Yeah, exactly. Right. You gotta be able to connect with someone. You gotta be on the same wavelength, I think to grow a long...

 

Anna:

Yeah.

 

Keiran:

... lasting relationship, right?

 

Anna:

Absolutely, and I think the weird thing about, you know being human is that there's no guidelines for who that's going to occur with.

 

Keiran:

Right.

 

Anna:

You could meet a group of people your same age, you know, same gender, same background and not really click with them. Not be on the same wavelength, but then suddenly you meet some ... This has happened to me. I meet some 75 year old German man, and I'm just like, wow! We really connect.

 

Keiran:

Yeah, yes.

 

Anna:

For some reason. It doesn't make any sense but we are on the same wavelength.

 

Keiran:

Right, that's amazing. It's interesting. I think that I've been someone over my life that I've never ... I've always had friends ...

 

Anna:

Mm-hmm (affirmative)

 

Keiran:

I've never clicked in a group. I always just felt like I was never part of a group. I never clicked.

 

Anna:

I'm the same way. Yeah, wow.

 

Keiran:

Then when I started doing comedy like, these people were on my wavelength.

 

Anna:

Yeah.

 

Keiran:

I can just like talk for hours about nothing and I'm like, oh! I was with the wrong people.

 

Anna:

Yes! The same thing happened to me, actually. Exactly the same when I moved into opera and like suddenly, for example, back when I started doing opera I had a non-opera boyfriend.

 

Keiran:

Mm-hmm (affirmative)

 

Anna:

I brought him to an opera party and I was like, I hope you're ready for what's about to happen because it was such a different ... As you probably know, performers, it's such a different world. Some people can't connect to that wavelength. Some people can't be on that wavelength.

 

Keiran:

Right, exactly. That's so funny. I actually remember one comedy show I went to. It was more of an amateur comedy show. I was on it and I had this other friend who was on it. He has this joke now that that comedy show destroyed his relationship with his girlfriend because it was ... I mean, some amateur comedy shows sometimes go too long. Amateur comedy, if it's not good it's painful.

 

Anna:

Yeah.

 

Keiran:

To the comedians, it either is painful but sometimes we can enjoy it cause, like we know these people. We them regularly. I can be like, wow! John's really bombing, look at that. The audience is just like, oh this is terrible but I'm laughing at that experience because I know ...

 

Anna:

Yeah.

 

Keiran:

... What it feels like and it's entertaining for me to see my friend fall to pieces. You know, in a different way.

 

Anna:

That was really interesting.

 

Keiran:

Yeah, so whose someone who you know are the type of person that you're not on the same wavelength as.

 

Anna:

Yeah, I was just thinking about that. To me, honestly, it's negative people. You know, people who have decided that either the world is against them or that work sucks and everyone is you know, a pain in the ass or something like that. You know, people who always complain, I find it very hard ...

 

Keiran:

Oh yeah.

 

Anna:

... To be on the wavelength with them because for me, I'm the kind of person  always trying to look at the good things, and what can we do? What's positive that we can take out of this? I find myself never being on the same wavelength as someone who is very negative and pessimistic.

 

Keiran:

Yeah, right. That's interesting. You know, it's interesting, I think my mom's a bit like that kind of person. Not really, she's a very positive person but she just gets into ... People get stuck in a mood sometimes.

 

Anna:

Right.

 

Keiran:

I know when she's stuck in a mood cause I'll just hear her be like, "ahhh", "ahhhh" and she'll do it like every 20 seconds and then ...

 

Anna:

The heave sighs.

 

Keiran:

Sometimes we're on the same wavelength but when I hear that I just kind of wish I had some kind of stick and I can just like push her away, you know. This wavelength that you're on is not what I want to be on.

 

Anna:

It's not for me.

 

Keiran:

Yeah, no.

 

Anna:

What about you? Is there a particular type of person you find you're not on the wavelength with?

 

Keiran:

I think I struggle with people who are too much into like, reality shows or pop culture. I mean, I don't mean pop culture. I like a lot of pop culture but like reality shows and I'm going to say ... I don't want to offend. I mean, I'm going to offend someone, but, bullshit artists.

 

Anna:

I know.

 

Keiran:

People who like, they make one song and it's really catchy. I don't know, I don't like worship of, like people who I don't feel aren't talented. I can't stand having a conversation with these people. I'm just like, no.

 

 

I don't want to just be like, that person sucks. That person's terrible cause I know this person loves them, you know. These people I can't have a conversation with cause I just have no respect for their opinion.

 

Anna:

Wow.

 

Keiran:

We're not on the same wavelength. I can't mesh ...

 

Anna:

The next time, if I come on again we should not be talking about Bachelorette Canada.

 

Keiran:

No...

 

Anna:

... Is what you're saying?

 

Keiran:

I mean I can have fun and watch it once or twice and laugh at it but like, people who take it seriously. I don't know. I just rather be wrapped up in my own reality then, like, watching another one.

 

Anna:

Right. Fair enough. Yeah, sure.

 

Keiran:

I can't lie and say I've never watched it. Back in the day I was like, this is great! Then I was like, this is dumb [inaudible 00:08:17]

 

Anna:

I don't know I think sometimes it's both. Sometimes we love to hate something.

 

Keiran:

Yeah, like everyone needs something to like, beat up, once in a while or something, right.

 

Anna:

Yeah, absolutely. We're kind of suckers for it.

 

Keiran:

Right.

 

Anna:

Yeah.

 

Keiran:

What about you? Is there any other thing that you're ... Any other people who you totally are on the same wavelength on?

 

Anna:

Interesting you should ask that. Let me think about that.

 

 

I guess my mom and I have always been on the same wavelength. I love both my parents, I love my whole family. I've got a really great family. I'm very lucky.

 

Keiran:

Mm-hmm (affirmative).

 

Anna:

My mom and I in particular, we've kind of always just, we just get each other. We just understand each other.

 

Keiran:

Yeah.

 

Anna:

She has this habit of not finishing her sentences so she'll just say, oh I really need to go to the uh... And then she doesn't say anything. Over time, I think I kind of learned to mind read a bit and kind of know what she was going to say. I think that kind of helped keep us on that same wavelength.

 

Keiran:

Great. Is your mom kind of artistic like you are in the sense?

 

Anna:

She's an academic, actually. She's more the brains of the operation.

 

Keiran:

Okay.

 

Anna:

Yeah.

 

Keiran:

That's interesting.

 

Anna:

What about you?

 

Keiran:

Ahhh, I think, people who I'm not on the same wavelength with I already described that. People who are on the same wavelength really, it's just I think people who like to analyze society and kind of...

 

Anna:

Yeah, cool.

 

Keiran:

... Pinpoint ... I find through teaching english online I met lots of people who sooner or later they'll get on to, like, corruption. It's this pick topic that's really popular with a lot of students.

 

Anna:

Yeah.

 

Keiran:

They like to talk about how their country's corrupt and they like to say, "you would never understand my country, you would never understand". I like that topic, I like looking at our societies and kind of saying, what's wrong with it?

 

Anna:

Yeah, what can be better?

 

Keiran:

That's a wavelength that I know a lot of people aren't on. I have friends who, they love politics and stuff and I'm just like, no I can't trust politics.

 

Anna:

Yeah.

 

Keiran:

Political people are not on the same wavelength as me. What about you? Here's the thing, do you vote or do you ...

 

Anna:

Well, we don't have a choice. In Australia it's compulsory.

 

Keiran:

Oh, that's weird.

 

Anna:

Everyone votes. I would say I am into politics but less so now than I used to be. I think for me it's more, like, exactly what we were saying about The Bachelorette. I kind of love to hate it and I kind of ... I like being ... I wouldn't say I'm part of it but I like following it partly because I'm just like, oh that's so stupid and oh, why would they do that?

 

Keiran:

Yeah.

 

Anna:

... And oh, it's all going wrong. It's all going in the wrong direction. I kind of, I don't know, take some sort of weird perverse pleasure in that.

 

Keiran:

That's the level I'm on.

 

Anna:

Yeah.

 

Keiran:

We're on the critical, like, we're analyzing it from the outside.

 

Anna:

Yeah.

 

Keiran:

The level that other of my friends are on is like, they've chosen a party and I'm just like, no. The system is broken, don't you see? It doesn't matter which party you choose.

 

Anna:

Yeah. Do you think that's true in every country though? Or just in Canada?

 

Keiran:

I mean, I can't say. I haven't lived in every country.

 

Anna:

Yeah.

 

Keiran:

I don't know. I just know that I don't trust either party.

 

Anna:

Yeah.

 

Keiran:

In Canada we have several parties. The U.S. I think that's an unfortunate reality. They only have two.

 

Anna:

Yeah. It's kind of very similar in Australia, actually.

 

Keiran:

Okay, so you guys have two also?

 

Anna:

Yeah, we have two main parties. We do have some smaller independent parties and the Greens party but really, there's no competition. It's always going to be one or the other.

 

Keiran:

Right.

 

Anna:

In terms of who wins.

 

 

Yeah, I mean it really comes down to that age-old debate, you know, is it better to be on the outside criticizing it or is it better to be on the inside changing it? I don't know that there's a simple answer to that.

 

Keiran:

Right. My thing is, I don't vote because I just think the system's broken, like, people are upset in the U.S. that they elected Trump but if they didn't elect Trump, you would have got Hilary whose pretty much just as bad.

 

Anna:

Yeah, we're going to disagree on that one because she has her faults, don't get me wrong, but I wouldn't say she's nearly as bad. I think she was about as bad as any politician is. Whereas I think he's at a whole other level.

 

Keiran:

Yeah, he's not a politician or anything.

 

Anna:

Yeah, but that's kind of ...

 

Keiran:

That's why he got elected because people are tired of politicians. I think that's the main reason.

 

Anna:

Yeah, but the majority didn't vote for him which is a whole other.

 

Keiran:

Right, that's their electoral system, really.

 

Anna:

Yeah.

 

Keiran:

Right, it's weird, I know.

 

Anna:

Well, hey, at least you're independent. In Australia we're still connected to the common wealth. We're still British. We still don't have a president.

 

Keiran:

Yeah.

 

Anna:

Just a prime minister.

 

Keiran:

That's weird. Well, we have a prime minister.

 

Anna:

You don't have a president. Do you elect them directly or do you elect the parties and then he's ...

 

Keiran:

You elect the ... What do we elect? I forget. We have parties ...

 

Anna:

I can tell you're very passionate about this.

 

Keiran:

That's why I'm telling you. I really don't like politics.

 

Anna:

Okay. I think we should stick to TV.

 

Keiran:

Yeah, we should stick to the wavelength that we were on before.

 

 

I'm definitely on the wavelength of the critical person and I don't even care enough about politics to ...

 

Anna:

Yeah.

 

Keiran:

To be on the wavelength as someone whose going to support the party.

 

Anna:

Yeah, I understand.

 

Keiran:

All right. Okay, we got to wrap this one up.

 

Anna:

Yeah.

 

Keiran:

Anna it was so great having you back on.

 

Anna:

Nice chatting to you too. We got a little sidetracked there but ...

 

Keiran:

That's what happens in a great conversation. I think that's what people...

 

Anna:

That's true.

 

Keiran:

... Want to hear anyways. I hope you bump into some people later on today who you're on the same wavelength with and, you know.

 

Anna:

I'm going to see my boyfriend. I guess he counts.

 

Keiran:

I hope so. All right, well, thanks so much Anna and we'll catch you next time.

 

Anna:

Yeah, I look forward to it. See you later, Keiran. Have a good one.

 

Keiran:

All right, chao.

 

Anna:

Bye.

 

 

 

Dec 10, 2016

How do you say you've been working hard? Today on Uncensored English we share a great idiom you can use to express that you've been working hard. Also Keiran talks about chickens, creating a healthy work life balance and what one of our Russian listeners had to say about the podcast. 

 

***No Transcript today but check out the Youtube Channel for the Video Version!***

Dec 8, 2016

How to improve your English? You could read English books and study how the language is used, you could watch tv and read a transcript as you go along. Or you could listen to the silliest most inappropriate podcast right here! On this episode of Uncensored English Gabe joins Keiran and they shoot the shit about Russian stereotypes. Don't worry, if this offended you, you can get back to us. Listen up for our challenge at the end of the podcast.

 

***Transcript***

 

Keiran:

Today on Uncensored English podcast number 114, Gabe O'Massi comes back on, and he and I shoot the shit about Russian stereotypes. We discuss hypothetical situations about what would happen if we lived in Russia. Lastwee, lastly we offer a little challenge for your Russians out there if you want to come join us on the podcast, so listen up in the end. Let's get this thing started.

 

Automated:

The following podcast is not intended for younger audiences. It contains coarse language, adult topics, controversial ideas, and is riddled with insanity. Listener's discretion is strongly advised.

 

Keiran:

What's up everybody? This is Keiran the crazy Canadian, and welcome to another podcast of Uncensored English because English isn't always PC. What's up everybody? Today, we have good ole Gabriel back on the podcast. How's it going buddy?

 

Gabriel:

(whistles) Hey babies, how's it going?

 

Keiran:

*chuckles* I haven't seen you in awhile. What have you been up to man?

 

Gabriel:

Not much. I've been exercising, drinking a lot of coffee. Oh wait, oh no, get out of my room. I'm doing a podcast. Sorry, my mom is here. Yeah You're on TV, yeah.

 

Keiran:

You're famous. Everyone's listening to you.

 

Gabriel:

Am I on TV? Anyway, sorry. How are you on TV? I'm on the phone.

 

Keiran:

Does your mom know what a podcast is?

 

Gabriel:

No, I don't know. My mom's crazy.

 

Keiran:

That's hilarious man. You've got to resolve that situation.

 

Gabriel:

Yeah, anyway. She's gone now.

 

Keiran:

Alright anyways, I hope everyone's doing well out there. I recently upgraded my podcasting host, and now I get to see where all the listeners come from. I found out that a good percentage of the listeners are in Russia. So today, me and Gabriel are going to do a little bit of teasing, a little bit of mocking. We're going to make fun of you Russians out there.

 

Gabriel:

Yeah.

 

Keiran:

We're going to go through ten stereotypes about Russians. And just I don’t know we're going to see what we think about you even though neither of us have ever been there.

 

Gabriel:

Yeah, I've never been to Russia, and I don't think I'll ever fucking go to Russia either.

 

Keiran:

Why do you never want to go to Russia man?

 

Gabriel:

Cause that’s uh, they're in bed with Trump's baby. You know what they say about Trump, he's a bad guy.

 

Keiran:

Yeah, he's clearly a bad guy, but what do you mean they're in bed with Trump?

 

Gabriel:

You know, shit, okay I don't know. I don't know. I have no idea. I don't know. I'm stupid.

 

Keiran:

Anyways, let's do a stereotype. The first one we're doing today, Russians are flashy.

 

Gabriel:

Russians are flashy. Yeah, if I were Russian, I would like not know that I was so flashy because all I see is fuckin flashy shit, and I would think it's normal.

 

Keiran:

If I was Russian, I would probably wear a fur coat or something.

 

Gabriel:

Yeah, that's true. Yeah, shoot all they wear ... like uh. They have these golden necklaces and hairy ass chests and a track pant suit and a track pant sweater, if that makes sense.

 

Keiran:

You know those hats they have when you go to the Jewish part of town where they kind of look like a big birthday cake on the guy's head?

 

Gabriel:

Yeah.

 

Keiran:

I think Russian people have that hat, but I think it's a little bit less wide. What are those things called?

 

Gabriel:

Yeah, uhh .. shit man, I don't know what they're called. They're just stupid hats.

 

Keiran:

Alright let's go to the next stereotype. Russian clubs are very exclusive.

 

Gabriel:

Oh, Man, if I was in Russia, I would make sure ... I know how to be cool, you know? This is a hard one. I don't know. I don't ever go to the ... If I were Russian, I wouldn't go to those clubs because you know what I like to chat and hang out and have a nice beer or a vodka as they call beer there.

 

Keiran:

If you were Russian, you would go to a Russian dive bar or something like that.

 

Gabriel:

Yeah. Hang out, I'd go on Russian Tinder and meet a Russian lady.

 

Keiran:

Okay. Let's go to the next one. Gender roles are alive and well in Russia.

 

Gabriel:

Ah man, If I were Russian, I'd make sure everything would be more politically correct. I would make sure that my lady-

 

Keiran:

Dude, really? I think you'd get your ass kicked in Russia. This one ... I have a lot of Russian students, and I agree with this. The women are very feminine, and the men are pretty masculine.

 

Gabriel:

The thing is I'm very in touch with my feminine side. I know what ... Let people be whatever they want to be. I don't want to be masculine all the time because it's exhausting.

 

Keiran:

You don't have to be hyper masculine, but I think ... It's like-

 

Gabriel:

I'm lazy.

 

Keiran:

Over here sometimes we have men who are like women, and we have women who act like men.

 

Gabriel:

Like Caitlyn Jenner?

 

Keiran:

No, that's a man who's become a woman.

 

Gabriel:

Okay.

 

Keiran:

They're saying-

 

Gabriel:

Anyway.

 

Keiran:

If I was in ... Next one, there's a lot of corruption in Russia.

 

Gabriel:

Ah man, these are way more difficult. If I were a political figure in Russia, I would take advantage of the corruption and cash in, baby.

 

Keiran:

Oh man, yeah, if I were in Russia I would have a hard time with the corruption. I guess that's the way to live if you're a political figure, right?

 

Gabriel:

Yeah it's almost like becoming a businessman. It's like a business. You go, and you get into politics, you get your hands greased up by the fish lobbies or whatever.

 

Keiran:

Yeah.

 

Gabriel:

I don't know what Russia exports.

 

Keiran:

Go with the flow, right?

 

Gabriel:

They export fucking sadness.

 

Keiran:

Yeah, I had one student who said, "If you want to have a good life in Russia, you have to be friends with a doctor and a policeman because otherwise you're not going to have good protection or good medical services." Alright let's go to the next one, Russians are blunt and serious.

 

Gabriel:

Uh.. I’ve never really hung out ... I have had a few Russian girlfriends and-

 

Keiran:

*laughs* I’ve never met a Russian before, except for all those girls I dated.

 

Gabriel:

Yeah, I dated a girl from Ukraine. I know that's not Russia, but it might as well be Russia. She was horrible. She was so mean to me, and I liked her so much. She did not like me, and I tried to like date her, but she didn't think I was funny. She would show me pictures of other men, of other cooler looking men, and I was like man one day I'll be fucking cool. Then one day I saw her at a bar, and she was kind of fat and ugly, and I was like man I'm fucking hot. I have a huge dick. Anyway, so yeah, that's my story.

 

Keiran:

So basically, the point of your story is Ukrainian women are bitches, and you don't know much about Russian women because you can't remember the women you've dated.

 

Gabriel:

The one I dated, that was a long time ago. Good head.

 

Keiran:

Good to know. Let's go to the next one, Russians are superstitious.

 

Gabriel:

Man, I don't know. Are they? Yeah sure. If I was Russian, I'd be superstitious according to this show. I mean are they religious? That's the same thing? Scared of God?

 

Keiran:

Are they religious? I don't know. I generally don't talk to my students about religion that much unless it's a topic that the student enjoys.

 

Gabriel:

A lot of them are Jewish aren't they? I guess not anymore ever since 1940.

 

Keiran:

I don't know. That's a good question. I'm going to let that one go. We're going to ask the listeners out there at the end of the podcast. Are Russians religious, and are they superstitious?

 

Gabriel:

Yeah because as a man of faith I want to know. By the way, I got that email from ... I don't know who I got that email from, but I never responded to her because I was so lazy, but now that I read it, and I appreciate you.

 

Keiran:

Oh yeah, from one of our listeners.

 

Gabriel:

Yeah, yeah. She was nice. I think she actually thought I was religious, which I am by the way. So, thank you.

 

Keiran:

No you're not you liar.

 

Gabriel:

Sure, yeah.

 

Keiran:

Let's go on. Russian babushkas.

 

Gabriel:

What the fuck is that?

 

Keiran:

The babushka or Russian granny is a pervasive image in western culture, and she exists. There are a lot of older Russian women in Russia who look exactly like stereotypical babushkas; small and short with scarfs around their head ready to run you down with a wheeled shopping cart.

 

Gabriel:

Oh, my grandmother kind of looks like that, but she's Greek. She's kind of short and fat and old, and she's got a lot of energy. She's a terrible cook. I don't know, but yeah.

 

Keiran:

If I was in Russia I would hang out with the babushkas and drink some vodka, and then pick fights with younger people because you can't beat up old ladies.

 

Gabriel:

If I were in Russia and were Russian, I'd love my babushka, and I'd visit her.

 

Keiran:

Ahhh You sweetie. We're down to two more. Russian women are extremely beautiful.

 

Gabriel:

Man, Yo, I could attest to that man. If I were Russian, man, I would be in heaven with all those Russian babes. I also watch a lot of Russian porn, and some of them are like ... Anyway, you get the idea.

 

Keiran:

Yeah, I think I know what you do. Would you settle down or would you play the game forever if you were in Russia?

 

Gabriel:

I'd play the field, which means I'd go around, and I'd meet people. And then like one day I'd be at a bar, and then a Russian girl would come through the door entering the bar, and she'd steal my heart.

 

Keiran:

You'd settle down in the long run.

 

Gabriel:

Eventually, you know, I want to have a cute kid.

 

Keiran:

I don't think I would settle down if I was single in Russia. I had one student, Boris, and he was like ... I'm like, "Do you have a girlfriend?" He was like, "Why I have girlfriend? There's more women in Russia."

 

Gabriel:

That's hilarious.

 

Keiran:

Last stereotype, Russians love vodka.

 

Gabriel:

Yeah, I love ... I don't like Russian vodka to be honest or the European trash. I love Am ... I'm sorry, let me phrase this right. If I were Russian, I wouldn't drink the vodka in Russia. I'd drink Tito's Austin, Texas vodka. Delicious. Hmm, hmm, hmm.

 

Keiran:

If you were in Russia, you would drink Austin, Texas vodka?

 

Gabriel:

Yeah, it's really good.

 

Keiran:

Yeah, I don't know if that's a good choice. I think if I was in Russia, I would trust the Russian vodka because they've been drinking it for awhile.

 

Gabriel:

Yeah, what do they drink there? What's the fucking vodka that they drink in Russia, specifically? [crosstalk 00:12:16].

 

Keiran:

I'm sure they got a shitload of brands man. In Mongolia alone, they had at least 20 brands of vodka there.

 

Gabriel:

Holy shit.

 

Keiran:

They've got a lot of different vodka over there.

 

Gabriel:

I like vodka, man. I love martinis and shit. I love vodka martinis, delicious.

 

Keiran:

Alright, alright, good. Guys, I hope you enjoyed me and Gabriel shitting on your stereotypes. We're going to make a little offer to all the Russians out there who are listening today. Gabriel has agreed to participate in this challenge. All you guys got to do, the Russian listeners out there, is if you want to have uh a conversation with Gabriel-

 

Gabriel:

Yeah man.

 

Keiran:

Gabriel's probably looking more out for the women, but if you're a guy too, you can participate. You can talk to Gabriel for ... How long is the conversation going to be, 15-20 minutes?

 

Gabriel:

Yeah, whatever. Yeah, you know what would be cool? If you guys come up with Canadian stereotypes to get us back.

 

Keiran:

Yeah, yeah, you can make fun of us Canadians on the call.

 

Gabriel:

Yeah, then we could dispute it. I could be like, "Hey man, I don't fucking do that shit."

 

Keiran:

OK here's what you got to do, if you want to participate, if you want to have a conversation with Gabriel, all you got to do is make a short little audio recording of yourself. Tell us what you think of Gabriel and our stupid podcast about you Russians out there, and send it in. Gabriel's going to listen to all the recordings he gets, and he's going to choose the winner, and we're going to line up a podcast with you and Gabriel on Uncensored English.

 

Gabriel:

Here's a little hint, talk about your big boobs. I'm joking.

I’m joking, I’m joking.

Keiran:

Oh my God. You're going to get a picture from some extremely fat Russian guy names Vladimir who has the hugest knockers.

 

Gabriel:

That's cool. I like that too.

 

Keiran:

All right guys, this podcast has been completely silly and stupid. We did actually do some grammar practice. We didn't actually tell you about it, but the whole time we did if statements. If I lived in Russia, I would do this. Listen to it again. Have some fun, laugh at this silly podcast, and send us an email. Actually just send Gabriel the email because he's going to pick. Gabriel, what's your email?

 

Gabriel:

Okay, listen carefully. It's gabomassi@gmail.com, G-A-B-O-M-A-S-S-I @gmail.com. G-A-B-O-M-A-S-S-I.

 

Keiran:

G-A-B-O-M-A-S-S-I @gmail.com. Record a little audio of yourself. Send it into Gabriel, and we're going to line up the follow up podcast for all you dirty Russians out there. That's it, we'll catch you on the next podcast of Uncensored English.

 

 

Dec 6, 2016

Are you looking for a way to challenge your English? Want to speak to native English speakers in a group? Why the hell haven't you done our Story Telling Challenge. Today we have the second winner from the Story Telling Challenge #2 on the podcast. We talk about technology, knees, and the possible cyborg future. Don't be a chicken to the next challenge!

 

*** Transcript*** 

 

 

Keiran:

All right. What's up, everybody. Today, on the podcast, we have two guests with us. We have Max [Lemire 00:00:09], the American, the Trump supporter, back on the podcast. How's it going, Max?

 

Max:

Hey, Keiran. I'm not a Trump supporter, but thanks for that. Doing well, thanks. How are you?

 

Keiran:

I'm good, I'm good. Thank you. Then we also have Pavel who was one of the participants in our Storytelling challenge. How are you doing, Pavel?

 

Pavel:

Hello. I'm fine.

 

Keiran:

Good. All right. Great. Max, why don't you and Pavel get to know each other for one minute while I pull up the article?

 

Max:

Sure, sure. Pavel, what are you doing for work?

 

Pavel:

I'm working as a software developer.

 

Max:

Nice. Are you working on cell phone applications?

 

Pavel:

Cell phone applications, too, as well.

 

Max:

All right. What's the main application?

 

Pavel:

Last year, I'm working on entertainment publications for iPhones.

 

Max:

Nice. That sounds fun. I don't code very well, but I tried to do a bit in university. After the hard physics related stuff, I just stopped doing any of it.

 

Keiran:

All right. You're not a big fan of physics then, Max.

 

Max:

It's hard to program it. I like physics, but it's hard to program.

 

Keiran:

That's great because we got a perfect topic for you then today. We're going to talk a little bit about some sciences, and I don't know if it's physics related stuff, but I'm going to read the title of this article so the listeners can know a little bit about what we're talking about. I'm going to post the article in the transcript so you guys can read it if you want. Then Max and Pavel and I are going to just have a conversation about it. The title of this and the caption below it, The Innovators, The Silk Road to Reducing Knee Operations. New bio material called FibroFix re-spins a silk protein like a spider into tough cartilage type material for knee implants, cutting the rising number of expensive knee replacement ops.

 

 

Basically, they created a material that's similar to a spider web or I guess silkworms web or webbing or whatever, and they're going to use this to reduce the cost of knee operations. I'm going to read a little bit more here. Silkworms and spiderwebs may hold the solution to one of the Western world's most pressing health problems, the surge in the need for knee replacements as the population grows older and more obese.

 

 

Max, what do you think about this, using technology that we're mimicking silkworms or spider worms to replace faulty knees?

 

Max:

I think that's fantastic. Typically, what we're making replacement parts for people out of are either other animals. We use pig heart valves for heart valve replacements in people, we use pig's valves. Otherwise, we're using mechanical ones made out of metal and other different I guess materials. If we're able to use something that's organic, more organic, I think it's better because our body won't reject it.

 

Keiran:

All right. What do you think about that, Pavel? Do you think this article and what they're proposing is a good idea?

 

Pavel:

Yes, I think it's a very good idea to use spider proteins for a human tissues. Also, I'm very glad that the science in general still developing. Still there are many things that need to be developed, and scientists still working on it.

 

Keiran:

This is pretty amazing technology, I think, but the one thing I think is that, to me, it seems like one step closer to ... We're using organic materials to heal ourselves or to treat ourselves so that we can last longer.

 

Max:

Exactly.

 

Keiran:

This is the principle behind this article. Max?

 

Max:

I totally agree with that. I think the big deal of the article is right now the implants they're using are real expensive, and these are going to be a lot cheaper so people are going to be able to afford the operation.

 

Keiran:

If you think about this a little more, it seems like we're just one step away or a few steps away from organically combining robotics and humans. If they're doing this to replace a knee, weak knees or bad knees, I imagine in the future, we're going to be seeing some kind of cyborg. This is a good idea. Pavel, you agree with that. Max, you agree with that, but what if we go towards replacing bad knees with robotics that make us stronger, superior? Do you think this is maybe dangerous for us?

 

Max:

I've always dreamed of becoming half robot, half man, so I think that would be ... Even if there's risks involved, I think it's worth it. What do you think, Pavel?

 

Pavel:

I don't think there is something dangerous to be more robotics for people. Maybe people will be better. I think most of people will be better.

 

Keiran:

You guys are both in favor of combining robotics, basically upgrading human beings with robotic limbs.

 

Max:

Yeah. How do you feel about that, Keiran?

 

Keiran:

I think for someone like me or you or Pavel, I think it's fine. If we had a bad knee and we want to just go for a walk or a run, that's fine, but if we use robotic in replacements in military soldiers, that might be problematic, no?

 

Max:

It would be scary. It's just like any technology. It's going to be whoever has the newest technology has the strongest army. That's been a classic. Whoever had tanks first was dominant in World War I. Then whoever had the better tanks in World War II. I think it's more World War II, but technology will always be like that no matter what happens. I'm looking forward to becoming half man, half silkworm. Like this article says, I can become part silkworm.

 

Keiran:

Ok that's weird.

 

Max:

Joke.

 

Keiran:

Pavel, would you be worried about anything if we were, we were approving cyborg limbs? Would any of this worry you?

 

Pavel:

Excuse me. I did not hear the last part of phrase.

 

Keiran:

No problem. If we legalize cyborg limbs, like robotic knees and robotic arms, for people who have arm problems, do you think this would maybe be dangerous in any way?

 

Pavel:

No. I think it can be dangerous because people can use a robotic arms or guns or rifles. What's the difference? If people want to be evil or dangerous, they can find a way anywhere.

 

Keiran:

That's an interesting point.

 

Max:

That's a good point. You're saying, Pavel, the tool doesn't matter. If the person's going to break the law, they can do it already.

 

Pavel:

Exactly. If people want to do something good, they can get better abilities for it. I think it's good for every side.

 

Keiran:

All right. I guess that makes sense. You're saying if people are going to do bad things, they're just going to do them. It doesn't matter if they have robotic legs or guns. The robotics upgrades are not going make them do it more. They're already going to do those bad actions. That's basically what you're saying. I just think we had this shooting a few years ago in Montreal, Pavel, where this guy went to a college with a machine gun and he killed many people in that college. Do you remember that, Max, the Dawson shooting?

 

Max:

Yeah. I was there a few weeks before it happened. It was scary.

 

Keiran:

If they never had machine guns, he probably would have still did something. Maybe he would have went in with a sword, but he would have done less, right?

 

Max:

Right, right. I see what you mean.

 

Keiran:

Maybe. Maybe. Who knows? Maybe with a sword, he would have to be a more fit person to actually do it. I don't know.

 

Max:

Maybe if he had to dedicate a few years to learning the sword, he would have found peace instead of going on a crime with someone that's easy to use. I'm not even joking. It takes a lot of training to use those things.

 

Keiran:

To use a sword?

 

Max:

Yeah. To use it well and to be able to defend yourself.

 

Keiran:

All right. Any last thoughts about this, Pavel, before we finish it up?

 

Pavel:

Actually, no.

 

Keiran:

What about you, Max?

 

Max:

I still want to be half man, half silkworm.

 

Keiran:

Pavel and Max are still on the cyborg boat, and I'm against the cyborgs. All right. Pavel, thanks for coming on so much and for doing this. I know this is challenging, but it's a great challenge for you, and I think you did really well.

 

Max:

Thanks for coming, Pavel.

 

Pavel:

Thank you. It was nice to meet you.

 

Max:

It was nice to meet you, too.

 

Keiran:

All right. Max, we don't really appreciate you because you're a dirty American, but I guess we should thank you a little bit.

 

Max:

I guess I'm just patient then.

 

Keiran:

Thanks also, Max, for coming on. Guys, if you're listening to this and you want to do the next Storytelling challenge, then listen up for it because you can come on like Pavel and can have a conversation with another native speaker and really challenge your own English. You can like it, subscribe to us, and check it out on the Facebook page, too. We'll put more updates up there soon. Thanks, guys, and we'll catch you on the next episode of Censored English.

 

 

Dec 3, 2016

How to express that you are overwhelmed with work, garbage, or you have to many things to do. Today on the podcast we briefly talk about being swamped. Then we fill you sexy listeners out there in on a special challenge we have coming up next week. Lastly Sabrina joins me on the podcast to discuss a hot topic right now, flag burning in America. 

 

***No Transcript*** Video Version available on Youtube

 

 

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