Uncensored English

Looking for a different angle on English language podcasts? Keiran the crazy Canadian goes where the other English podcasts don't... and more. Keiran and his native English guests discuss politically incorrect subjects as well as general English language, idioms, expressions, culture and more all while having natural unscripted conversations. This podcasts feature an educational exploration of language ranging from every day expressions, pop culture expressions, explicit language and anything in between. The podcast is geared towards adults students, professionals, university students as well as ESL teachers who want to step out of the "Safe Space" of the English language education community and have a little more fun. Join Keiran and his guests in their down to earth humorous conversations and learn to speak a more universal edgy form of English like a native! English ISN'T always PC!!!
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Uncensored English



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Now displaying: August, 2016
Aug 31, 2016

We talk about controlling your energy levels through body posture, weird ways to start a friendship, douchiness and tooting your own horn.  

Aug 29, 2016

In this episode of Uncensored English Keiran pokes fun of his innedaquecies that caused him to miss the chance to record a podcast yesterday night. We learn about a few words we often heard teachers use to belittle students in high school.

Aug 27, 2016

More word pairings with jerk,  a strange thank you letter, and Keiran rambles on feeling defeated.

Aug 24, 2016

*** INTRO ***

It's Wednesday day August the.... I don't actually know the date. Oh no it's the 24th, it's August the 24th. And I'm a little disappointed. I had a podcast planned today, actually I had three podcasts I was going to make today. And two of them I was not able to get done, the guest disappeared, uh the third one is going to happen tonight, so I can't use it as today's podcast because I need to put it up before tonight. So I thought I would do one more podcast on my own, I know you guys probably want to hear some guests back on here. We go some guests scheduled to come up, it just hasn't been, it's been about a week since I've been able to do it since I was in Halifax. But that's ok I came up with a snappy subject today. It's going to be fun. I wanted to talk about one other thing first. This is just such a cool event that happened, because of teaching, and a little bit because of my podcast. And one of my students I've been teaching her for I think about 4 or 5 months now already. She's a very nice young lady, she ... I'm not going to say her name I guess, but her fiancee lives in Canada, he moved here frmo another foreign country and she came here three weeks ago to get married. And they don't really know anyone here so they invited me to go to there wedding. Which I was honored to be invited, however I could not go cause I was in Halifax. But one cool thing that happened is I told Edward about it because Edward is in Toronto. So Edward and his wife went to one of my students and one of our Uncensored English podcasts' listeners wedding. And they had a very small and a very fun wedding which I'm jealous I didn't get to go to. And it was a funny I was talking to another one of my students about weddings, and we were both agreeing that weddings probably are more stressful and more expensive then they should be to celebrate the love and the life of a young couple. And I think that this couple is probably one of the only couples I've heard of that did it right. Without dropping tons of cash, and inviting 150 people and stressing themselves out. So I just wanted to congratulate you guys on your wedding, yay you did it. Now you are together forever unless you get divorced, but if that happens then you'll have to steal half each others shit. But I'm happy that you're married, I hope you're happy too, because if you're not well there's nothing you can do. Actually I didn't have a big wedding either, I just got married in the consulate, the Mongolian consulate in South Korea. Because my wife and I our visas were expiring and the odds of being able to go to the same country again were very little. Uh well I mean not for me, I have a Canadian passport that thing is sweeeet, but she has one of those shitty third world country passports where basically she can only go to countries she doesnt want to go to. That's probably the only marriage I would ever want, I don't actually believe in marriage, I don't really think I need the government or religions approval for my life. Seems silly to me and useless, but that's just my opinion... and if you believe otherwise, well good for you. Anyways, today I"m going to talk to you guys about a specific word, that word is jerk. Jerk is, mmmmm, I would say I soft swear word, or often an unkind word, but it's a very useful word. And there's a few very useful variations of it, that were going to talk about today. So by jerk, of course I don't mean to jerk your arm around. As in a sharp movement. A quick sharp movement. I mean, as in the noun, as in that guy is a jerk. So what do you think jerk means, what do you think jerk means. One of my favourite websites, urbandictionary, you can check it out. I like this definition, it's very comical, I'm going to read it for you. Jerk, the kind of guy most girls actually want, when they say they want a nice guy. Jerks are selfish manipulative bastards, he see girls as little more than sexual conquests to brag about to their buddies, or mere objects that are for their personal pleasure. K I'm not going to continue, because I think half of this is accurate, half of this is maybe a little bit overly progressive and sensitive and man hating, jerks do not have to be men, jerks can be women to. And I think, in my opinion, is that a jerk is a very self-centered person, who generally only thinks about themselves. I think the first line is pretty accurate when most women actually want when they say a nice guy. But let's talk about a jerk. Are you a jerk, am I a jerk? Sometimes I'm a jerk, sometimes I am selfish, I think it's healthy to be selfish, what do you guys think? Should we go around always putting others in before ourselves? Is that an attractive quality in a person? Someone who always sacrifices what they want for others? Ummmmmm I don't know. I cant answer for everyone but I don't think that's a good way to be. I don't think it's a good way to live, I think it's healthy, healthy, to be absolutely selfish. I like being selfish, I like doing what I want, I'll do what I want if that's what I want. I'll be a jerk, you'll be a jerk, don't be a jerk at work, that's not the place to be a jerk. Right, so, being a jerk, I like to be a jerk as long as I'm not hurting anyone. I mean the other day I think I made a little mistake with my daughter, I think I was a little bit of a jerk, but it was unintentional, my uhh my mom brought us some chocolates, and there was three chocolates she gave us, two of them were these little lindt balls,  and the third one was this little small box of smarties. So I took one of the lindt balls, she took one of the lindt balls, and then we both ate our chocolate lindt balls. Then, I took the box, and I said let's split the box, and she said it's my box of smarties and she said no it's my box of smarties. And I said no it's not, you just had one chocolate, I had one chocolate, let's split the box of smarties and she said no it's mine, and I started to get very upset, and I said Michelle were splitting it, you're being spoiled, and I opened the smarties and she started to go crazy. And I split them into two piles, evenly, and then she started to try to take the smarties from my pile, saying that they were hers, and then I snatched the last few ones and I put them in my mouth and I ate them. And then she exploded in anger and tears, and I thought she was acting like a jerk but it turns out that that box of smarties was actually hers, my grandma had , my grandma, her her grandma had given it to her, and I had eaten half of her box of smarties. So that was a jerk thing for me to do. See that's a jerk. I was ignoring the 4 year olds girls ideas and not listening to her, I was just being selfish and I didn't care about, I mean I thought I was being fair but apparently I was being a big jerk. Alright we're going to talk about a few other ways to use the word jerk. Jerk is often used to say that you're wasting time. It's a phrasal verb, stop jerking around. Stop wasting time. For example, do you remember you know when you were in school. And you had a group project, which is always awful cause you have to work with people. I mean group projects were terrible because every group project was the same. One person in the group did most of the word and had most of the good ideas, from my experience, and then everyone else would just jerk around. Meaning they'd just joke around and talk and no progress would every get made. And in those cases you would say Hey! Guys! Common stop jerking around! We have to finish this before we go home, the deadlines tomorrow we gotta stop jerking around. Stop jerking around, stop wasting time.  Stop wasting my time, I'm wasting your time, by repeatedly saying wasting time, I'm jerking around, don't let someone jerk around with your time. Jerking around. Another example is umm I was getting ready to go out with my wife and my daughter we were going to go into the village we wanted to get to the ice cream store before it closed which is generally around 10 but somedays it's earlier about 9. My wife and I were ready but my daughter was like I don't know what socks I want to wear daddy, I want to wear the orange and the purple socks daddy, and then I'm like alright put em on, ok I don't want to wear these anymore daddy I want to wear the polka dot socks daddy, alright fine put em on, daddy I want to wear I want, stop jerking around Michelle were going to miss the ice cream store. It's going to close, stop jerking around. Alright I'm going to wrap this podcast up, there's more to talk about with jerk but we don't really have time. It's actually a little more dirty then what we've already covered so I'm going to save this for Gabriel or Max or whoever we see next and we're going to continue phrasal verbs with jerk but remember jerk is a selfish person, which I don't think is bad but occasionally there too selfish to the point where they hurt other peoples feelings, where they're inconsiderate about other peoples feelings. And of course jerking around is being silly wasting peoples time. Being inconsiderate about others and what they need to do and just wasting time, you're jerking around. Pick your socks Michelle! Pick em! Stop jerking around with daddy's life! Alright, guys, listen to that podcast again, you know, right down the points, write down some sentences, try it out next time your speaking with some natives speakers or you're travelling through an English country. And we'll catch you next time on the next podcast of unnnncensored English!

Aug 22, 2016

By request, this is another episode to give you some conversational tricks for fitting into North American culture. Have fun!

*** INTRO***




So i'm finally back at home with my normal microphone so you'll probably notice the sound quality is a lot better. Sorry for the stadicky podcast while I was in Halifax. But I had to buy a headset and it wasn't the greatest obviously. But were back to the normal podcast, back to the normal time , back to transcripts unfortunately for me, that's an hour of typing for every 10 minutes I talk. Ouch it hurts! Anyways, today I wanted to do a podcast about um, well what was it, it was a few weeks ago I was talking to one of my students and they said some of the podcasts they really like were about to not ask why when someone kinda bails on a commitment or abandons you on plans you have. I think that podcast was podcast number 52, invitations and avoiding awkward situations with John Rey. So I was out other day and I had another one of these situations where it became an awkward moment with someone I didn't know. And I know that these kind of awkward moments, I mean they happen in every culture but in every culture they happen for different reasons. So I'm going to share with you how to avoid these awkward moments in these two situations this week.


So the first one is at a party, or at a bar, or your at some kind of social gathering with friends, and people you don't know. And you're talking to someone and you're getting to know someone too, sorry getting to know someone new and then all of a sudden they pop a question, they ask you, they'll say oh look at this new jacket I got, you'll be like wow it's so nice where did you get it? And she'll be like oh I got it at American apparel blablabla, and all of a sudden she says guess how much it was, guess how much it was. The wrong thing to do here is to try to accurately guess the price of how much the jacket was. This is the wrong way to address that situation. This is not what you're trying to do, the whole guess how much the jacket was is a chance for you to create positive feelings between you and someone else and just vibe with them. Create a closer connection. So again you don't try to guess the price of the jacket, what you do is you try to guess an amount that will make the person proud of what they bought. So if you know the jacket costs 60$, you want to say more than it was. So they feel like they saved money, and they got a steal and they're a smart shopper. Does that make sense? You know the jacket cost 60$, you don't want to say 60$ and ya I got it! YOu want to say oh my god it looks like it was 90$ and then they're going to think whoa I got such an expensive looking jacket or I'm a smart shopper. I got a good deal for this jacket which looks like it's 90$. So whenever you have this game whenever you're in a social situation, it's the same thing with ages, you're at a bar and you're talking to someone new and the person says guess how old I am. You don't want to guess that woman or man's age accurately. You want to guess that woman or man's age a little bit younger cause that makes them feel good and that creates a positive situation. So again guessing a price, or guessing someone's age is not a test of your intelligence, it's an opportunity in North America to create positive feelings and create a positive social interaction. 

Ok so that's the first one, I hope you, I mean I'm sure some of you already knew this but I"m also sure some of you didn't. Now here's the second situation. I'm going to give you the scenario for this one and then I'm going to let you pause and think about it. And try to figure this one out for yourselves. So the second scenario happened yesterday, I was at a grocery store near my house. And I went their for a specific reason, I went there to get a shin Ramyun noodles, it's a kind of ramen, it's not healthy it's my guilty pleasure. I know I should stop eating it. But I probably have it a few times a week. So anyways I go there, I go to the aisle where they have them I pick it up I go get into the line for the people who have 4-12 items, or 12 items or less, the short line. Waiting in line, I get to the line, I get to the cash, I plop my pack of ramen down onto the conveyor belt. They guy takes it scans it says, ah ramen noodles, ramen noodles, and I say yeah they're a great hang over cure. Now this is where the awkward situation happened, I'm not going to tell you what he said right away. But what would you say if you were him.

What would you say if in response to what I said if you were him? And again it's an opportunity, these situations are opportunities to make friends, opportunities to create positive feelings or to vibe with someone. And by vibe I mean kinda connect with someone on a on a positive level. On a level where I'm going to think positively after that interaction. And I'm going to want to interact with him again. So what would you do?

So here's what happened, I said yeah ramen noodles there a great hang over cure. And then he said I don't drink so I don't need them for that. And the funny thing is when he said that like this is a really negative to say for him, because there is two things that happened, one he broke the connect that me and him were building, like I had ramen and he had ramen, and I said oh yeah they're a great hang over cure I'm talking about ramen. And then he says I don't drink, so now he disconnects me and him, and then he says I don't need them for that. And when he says that, I don't need them for that, it implies on some level that there is something fundamentally wrong with what I'm doing and he's kinda put himself above me. And I didn't take it personally of course, but the funny thing is the guy ahead of me who was already leaving, he looked at me and he rolled his eyes, almost to say this guy didn't know what he's doing. And who knows maybe the cash guy was just having a bad day. But I'm going to give you the socially intelligent response to what I said, so again, it doesn't matter if you drink alcohol. IT doesn't matter if you if you find the matter of ramen being a hang over cure useful or not. The opportunity is to create a friend, to create positive feelings and to vibe. So if I were the other guy, I was the cash guy, and the other guy said ramen is a great hang over cure, even though I don't drink or I'm not interested in it for that reason, I'm not going to say I don't drink, I don't need it for that. I would say wow great, I'm going to share it with one of my buddies who drinks next time I see him. Or I'll say oh great I'm going to remember that for the future in case I ever do start to drink. And there with those two answers you've taken that situation you've created positive feelings, a good impression and you maybe next time you see that person you can build on it and create an ongoing relation at the grocery store. Or maybe the guy will turn into a friend or not. And this is really useful information for you people who are living in North America or Canada and you don't have as many native friends and you want more speaking experience people like these can actually turn into friends if you avoid those terrible social blunders. 

Ok so I'm going to wrap this one up. Nothing very censorable on this episode. I know you guys like the bad words and the fun stuff. BUt it's very useful information. So remember how much does my jacket cost, how old am I, is not a test of your intelligence. It's an opportunity to create positive feelings, good energy and a potential friend. And again if someone says oh yeah ramen it's a great hang over cure, or you know any other friend, oh spinach is great for blablabla, doesn't matter if you are never going to eat it or are not interested in what they said it's really an opportunity for you to test your English skills and to connect with that person on another level by saying something creative like, oh I have a friend who would love to know about that, I'm going to share it with him next time I speak. Alright guys that's the end of the podcast. IF you liked it enjoyed it, rate it review it and we'll catch you next time on the next episode of Unnnnnnnnnnnnnnncensored English!

Aug 21, 2016

The video podcast is coming up but until we get there why not try the Tombstone challenge! There's something peculiar about the words written on a Halifax tombstone I found, can you help me out? 

Aug 19, 2016

Cultural habits and norms can vary so much depending upon where you live. I've noticed that some foreign people find the North American family dinner intimidating and weird, and excusing yourself from the table is sometimes even more intimidating. So here's how you can do it! 

Aug 19, 2016

After driving around Halifax for a the last 6 days these two idioms kept popping into my head. I also ramble a little bit about my sushi excursion.

Aug 18, 2016

After having several inquiries about the word cunt from my student I asked David Peachey to talk about this strong curse word which is an absolute no no in Canada, and maybe marginally more acceptable in a few other English speaking countries. 


So today on Uncensored English um, I wanted to do a podcast on a curse word which a few of my students have asked me about. And I quite honestly didn't feel very comfortable doing it because where I live it's a very very big no no and I don't really use it regularly. So uh we're lucky to have David Peachey back on the podcast, how's it going David?

D: Hey Keiran, it's good to be back again, I guess I've been called in as some kind of expert.

K: Yeah haha, yeah you're the expert on the word, on the word cunt right. But I mean, it's a little, I know it's thrown around a lot more in Australia then it is in North America. 

D: Um hmm, yeah we're a bit more free with it, but umm again it is still a fairly strong curse word. 

K: right. But before we started the podcast you were telling me your name. You discovered something interesting about your name, your actual name that's kinda related to the word. 

D: Yes, I usually go by the name Peachey, cause David is a very very common name.

K: Right

D: And um, yeah it turns out that in Slovak, in the Slovak language it sounds very close to peacha, which means cunt in Slovak. If you want to say um, use some strong language like um... say fuck it, you'd say do peachey 

K: Oh really,

D: Which means to the cunt. If you wanted to tell someone to fuck off you'd say (hort?) do peachey, which means go to the cunt. That's really strong, wow! 

K: Ahahahah ok so maybe don't use that

D: Ummm

K: Unless you know what you're doing.

D: Yeah and I discovered this when I umm.. I think on my second or third visit to Bratislava and I was having a lot of beers as you do. with other Slovaks and a couple of other travellers in a pub in Bratislava. And one of the guys got up to leave and said ok guys see you later. And I said it's great to talk to you let's keep in touch you can find me online, oh but don't look for David, too many Davids. And at this point I was getting really proud of my name,

K: Yeah

D: and I said this is how you find me, Peachey. And then everyone stopped talking. And this guy just kinda looked at me as if to say what did you say?

K: yeah 

D: And and I thought he didn't hear me properly so I said it a little louder. Peachey. And now he's looking at me like he doesn't believe what he's hearing. 

K: Yeah

D: So I said really loudly and slowly, my name is Peachey. And everyone burst into laughter.

K: ahahahahaha

D: and I think alright, guys you got to explain this one to me.

K: Yeah

D: What's going on?

K: Yeah

D: Then they explained that Peachey sounds a lot like yeah

K: cunt

D: Do Peachey

K: My name is cunt

D: Yeah and then I moved to Slovakia and lived there for three years. 

K: Wow that's hilarious man, that's so funny. 

D: Yeah

K: That's so funny.

D: I was very careful, I was very conscious and careful of my surname when I was there.

K: I think the funny thing about cunt though, I mean I personally like the word although I never use the word.

D: Um hmmm.

K: I know a lot of women here have a problem with it because , their their big problem is that they say there's no male equivalent of cunt.

D: Yeah, nothing nothing strong enough I'd say.This is pretty strong so yah

K: Right and I mean in my mind the male equivalent of cunt has to be either prick or dick, but Dick is often a name for a man so it's obviously not that bad. 

D: Maybe cock is a closer one, 

K: Yeah maybe, right. But then again it's also the name of an animal so there not as, there not as bad as cunt I guess.

D: Exactly, the alternate meaning of dick and cock  it kind of softens it a bit.

K: Right. So we don't use it here very much, if we use it here people tend to get very very very upset. 

D: Oh and how

K: So how is it used in Australia in a somewhat acceptable way, like how could we get away with using it if we want to if we were in Australia.

D: Wow, that's a good question, of course it's not a free pass in Australia as well, you could probably start a fight, or you could be told to watch your language or wash you mouth out with soap and water as you do.

K: Right

D: Um but we um, sometimes we call our friends cunt, and you have to be really really really good friends if you do this. 

K: right

D: As if your friends not going to punch you if you do this.

K: Right

D: I'd say there has to be a lot of friendliness and probably a lot of beer involved. All together, you can't just have beer and cunt cause that starts fights. But beer friendliness and cunt, I think it's maybe acceptable. 

K: Ok and is there any, so I can just straight out use that word with my very close friends and they won't get upset, or is there anything I have to do before or? 

D: Uh well I usually suggest to my students if they want to use a slang or colloquial language the best thing to do is to listen to it first. Don't assume you can just walk up to any Australian and say hey cunt!

K: *Laughing* Ohhhh

D: Doesn't work I can speak from experience. And of course if they other person says hi, you're an alright cunt. Then you think ok maybe I can call him an alright cunt as well. 

K: ok. I have a friend, and I run a comedy show every Wednesday in Montreal and there's an Australian guy and you know we have to put up these promos on facebook and everything to try to draw people to the show. And on his, he shared the event he said I'm on this lovely comedy show with these lovely cunts next week.

D: *laughing*

K: He said lovely funny cunts next week. And for some reason, I don't know why it seemed less offensive when he put it, when you put those words in front of it. Does that make any logical sense from an Australian standpoint? 

D: It makes perfect sense, if you want to make the word cunt more appealing you can put a nice positive adjective in front of it like your examples lovely cunt, funny cunt, um clever cunt. Um like I said alright cunt. Of course you could make it sound worse by saying ugly cunt, horrible cunt. For example

K: Ok so that's probably what we don't want to do unless we're in a fight with someone I guess. 

D: Exactly yeah, uh we done the same thing with the word bastard in Australian English. Funny bastard, lovely bastard, so these are positive terms. Yeah so ugly bastard, horrible bastard, yeah so sometimes it really depends on the adjective.

K: Right. If you put, to me it sounds like if you're putting that adjective in front, if I say oh John's a lovely cunt, it sounds almost like I'm teasing him. 

D: It is, it sounds like a nice gentle affectionate tease. 

K: And I'm curious David, do women, do women do this too? Like in Australia if I'm doing this with a group of my guy friends that's going to be ok, but if there's women around will this offend the women if I say this or?

D: Uh good question, it depends on the women you're talking too. So I'm pretty sure if you're getting around Australia long enough you will find a few women who are fine with saying cunt cunt cunt.

K: But cunt is definitely not a free word you can just throw in wherever you want because you're in Australia. 

D: Exactly, you still use a bit of caution, but maybe the adjective will save you.

K: ok, I think, I think cunt is probably the strongest word you can't use in North America, it's probably the number one. I mean other than some racial slurs, it's an absolute no no. 

D: Yeah i'd say it's still pretty much the same. Even though we do have a little way of softening it. Yeah in general it's probably one of the strongest words you can use down here.

K:Alright, Ok, alright let's  kinda summarize this. You said, if I'm correct,

D: Um hmm

K: that really you should be using this word  with people who are your very your very close friends? 

D: People who will not punch you for calling them a cunt, yes.

K: Or people if they punch you it's a joking punch right? Or osmething like that.

D: Yeah who will punch you in the same affectionate way you that call them a cunt. Yes.

K: Yeah *laughing* Ok and then a way you can soften the word maybe with those close friends is you could put a nice adjective in front like lovely or funny or silly, like he's a silly cunt or something. 

D: Um Hmm. Silly cunt, clever cunt, adorable cunt. Yeah.

K: And making it worse would be putting a negative adjective in front of it.

D: Yup, horrible, ugly that can even make the word cunt sound all more aggressive.

K: Alright, ok, alright well thanks David for coming on here and helping us out.

D: You're very welcome. Um hmm, my pleasure.

K: And again if you want to get in touch with David you can catch  him at

D: Peachey, p-e-a-c-h-e-y -teacher. 

K: Alright great

D: great

K: And that's it guys, we'll catch you next time on the next podcast of Unnnnnncensored English!






Aug 16, 2016

In this podcast of Uncensored English we review some common casual goodbyes you can use to end a conversation. I also take a stroll around Halifax, video podcast version is available here -->



Aug 14, 2016

Happy Sunday! Live from Halifax Keiran talks about Sleeping in, jumbo rats and people losing their shit at the shopping mall. 

Aug 13, 2016

After arriving in Halifax and having some trouble with the toll booths I recorded this podcast. Learn about the expression breaking the seal. Also some thoughts on language learning. 

Aug 10, 2016



K: So today on uncensored English we're lucky to have David Peachy back on with us, how's it going David?

D: Hey Keiran, yeah it's good to be back. Thanks for having me again.

K: Yeah thanks for coming on back again, I just want to remind you listeners out there. That David is a professional teacher on Italki, so if you guys like the way he's speaking, if he sounds like a great teacher to you  how would they get in touch with you and schedule a lesson.

D: Ok they'd find, so peacher teacher is my tag name on italki. Peachey, P-e-a-c-h-e-y don't forget that E it's important.

K: Yeah great, so David I haven't talked to you in awhile, how's it, how's it been going?

D: Yeah it's been going pretty well, I just uh moved house, just from uh slightly outside of the city to closer into the city. So everything is a little more convenient and much closer now. So it's pretty nice.

K: Alright, I hate moving, I hope the move wasn't that hard for you.

D: Oh, it was, it was a lot of work. That's all I can say,

K: *laughter

D: I mean I don't think any move is nice, it's different to moving overseas cause you just take a suitcase, but moving house you got a lot more furniture and things to move around.

K: Yeah all that stuff, the worst experience I had with moving was a few years ago, I lived with three guys and one of my roomates just, he just messed up and what he did was he moved all the he moved all the small stuff in first.

D: Um hm... What?

K: And you got to move the big stuff in first, right?

D: Yeah that's logical.

K: And it was just such a mess because it was so hard to get anything else in and..

D: Ok

K: I don't even want to think abouit

D: Let's put that where it belongs in the past.

K: yeah yeah exactly. So today we're going to talk about drinking culture, we're going to talk about different types of drinks, traditions, and maybe compare the Australian and Canadian drinking cultures.

D: Yeah lots do it. Let's do it!

K: Alright so David when I was in Australia I was immediately confused

D: Uh hmm

K: by the types of drinks, I had no idea what I had to order.

D: ok, ummm, obviously we're a beer loving nation. And, I'm guessing the measurement of the beer was confusing. Was that the issue?

K: Yeah, the names.

D: The names.

K: Coming from Canada, the names are just so different. I didn't know what the size was, can you kind of enlighten us and help me remember what it was.

D: Ok well I'll go from the largest to the smallest. So we start at the pint, which is 570 mils, why do we get that really strange number? It comes from the ounce system. So basically a pint is 20 liquid ounces that old measurement system. Then we go down to, I'll go to the half pint, um, where I'm from in Queensland we call it a pot, and that's 10 ounces, that's half a pint. When you were in Australia what did you call it? What did you hear?

K: uh, I think we called it a middy?

D: Middy, yeah that sounds about right. Yeah I think the people down south call it Middy. We call it pot.

K: Would middy be an abbreviation for like middle? Or do you know?

D: I definitely think so, it sounds like a definite abbreviation of middle, or mid.

K: Right, If I was ordering a pot while I was drinking I would, I mean I think it would be a matter of minutes before someone made a joke about marijuana.

D: Definitely, pot and a pot. A pot of pot. Yeah umm, I think up in Queensland the pot is traditionally more popular because we have a hotter climate.

K: Ok

D: Of course with all the popular Irish pubs and uh British style pubs turning up in Australia we moved to Pints for awhile. And now the popular size is the Schooner. Which is 15 ounces. Which is exactly between a middy or pot or pint. So yeah normally if I go into a bar these days I would normally order the beer in a schooner size. That's strange for Queensland apparently down in New South Whales or Victoria further south the Schooner is quite standard. So yeah this is a new thing for us in the hot climate of Queensland.

K: Alright so we got, a pint is the large size. Then we got the half pint is the small size, and in Australia you say that's a pot or a middy,

D: Pot or a middy, yup!

K: And then you got a, like an in between

D: Yes

K: Which is the Schooner

D: Schooner like as in sailing ship.

K: You know what, I don't think I ordered pints in Australia.

D: Ok

K: I think I was ordering schooners.

D: Yeah, um if you're down in New South Whales I think that's the standard beer size. The beer schooner. Yah

K: Alright, so after you've bought your drinks

D: um hmm

K: and you're drinking with your buddies, what else, what else do we need to know about drinking? In Australia what other interesting things do you guys do differently.

D: K I noticed you said, bought your drinks, plural. Because we do have a little system of rounds in Australia drinking. For example if I go out with three other friends, there are four of us. Um so one of us would shout "the first round" as in buy the first round. Um we can buy different drinks, that's all fine. We don't have to agree on the same type of drink. And when were finished someone else goes and buys the second round. Then it works around the table

K: Wait

D: um hm

K: I'm confused, so like I go to get some drinks with you and another two guys. And you just say "first round" and that means you're going to buy the first round of drinks.

D: Yup, I say I'll get the first round, yup definitely, so I'll buy a beer for everyone, and you can calculate this. So I know at least if I'm drinking with three other people. So there are four of us, so I will have at least 4 drinks.

K: Ok, and what if I have to leave after the second round and I haven't bought my round.

D: Umm if you leave early I think it's forgiveable, but if it comes to maybe the fourth round or were doing a new rounds of rounds. Yeah that would be very socially awkward, we'd think you'd be freeloading if you didn't pay for your round.

K: *laughing* what do you mean by freeloading David?

D: Like getting free beers off us.

K: right.

D: and we think you're not paying your way next time we'll go out we wont invite you.

K: Yeah, so if I constantly make a habit of leaving after the third round and not the fourth round, people are going to start not liking me as a person.

D: Exactly, I mean if you apologize a lot and say look I'm really sorry and say next time you jump in first and you get the first round yup, all will be forgiven, but people who try to avoid paying for their round. We notice it, we won't openly complain but we'll make a mental note not to go drinking with you again.

K: So let me get this straight, I can order any drink I want. Let's say you're getting like a schooner of house beer and then like two other guys are getting schooners of another similar priced beer,

D: Um hmm

K: But then I decide to get like a an expensive scotch. No one's going to have a problem paying extra for my drinks when they buy their rounds?

D: Unless you're buying an expensive expensive scotch. Yeah we don't mind um handing out the couple extra dollars just to cover the scotch. And I think if it's, if you're in a situation where you are buying rounds you will be conscious of the prices and you'll think just to be fair I'll have something that's priced approximately at what other people are drinking.

K: Alright

D: You wouldn't take it as an opportunity to buy the most expensive drink possible.

K: At least if you're not a shitty person.

D: Exactly, if you're not a shitty person, if you play fair, all will be good.

K: In Canada we have one tradition, I don't actually think it's the English part of Canada it's the french part of Canada.

D: Um hmm

K: I mean you guys, you guys do the cheers when you drink, you get a round of drinks and everyone says cheers and you start drinking is that right?

D: Yeah every new round as well, I noticed in other cultures they don't normally do this. They'll do it for the very first drink, but not for the following drinks. But we normally do it for every round.

K: yeah, and what we do is the French people say a la sante, meaning

D: A la sante,

K: Meaning to good health right

D: uh hmm

K: and then sometimes if you're just too people you'll do the whole thing where you twist your arms around each others arms and you drink.

D: Ah yeah, like you're getting married or something.

K: yeah, but the other thing is if you do the a la sante but you don't look the person in the eyes while you're doing it, you're supposed to have a curse for 10 years of bad sex or something.

D: Yeah, uh I think we're slightly aware. That's one of the rules I've heard about but I haven't seen much in Australia. I'm aware of the eye contact thing and yeah people forget about it. They're too excited about their drinks.

K: Yeah right. It's not my round get another drink.

D: yeah, free drink, free drink yup

K: Alright so let's just wrap this up quickly, David

D: Sure

K: Could you go over quickly what were the kind of drinks we did?

D: Ok the size of beer glasses, we have the largest one pint, then we have the half size of that, half-pint, which we call either a middy or a pot generally. Then we have the popular in between size, uh schooner.

K: Schooner

D: Schoonah, yeah schooner? Schoonah

K: ok no ur, schoonah

D: Schoonah

K: Like with an a sound at the end?

D: Exactly, yeah we just drop that R at the end. It's too much effort.

K: ok ok, schoonah people, not schooner.

D: Um hmm, yup. And for the drinking rounds yeah if you're drinking with a  group of people. Make sure you get in early, buy around for everyone and karma will come back to you in a very nice way, in the form of beer.

K: right, yeah, don't be a freeloader.

D: yeah, don't do that, we don't like it.

K: Alright

D: Great

K: And then with Canadian, it's just with the French you look them in the eyes when you do the French cheers a la sante. Or it's a little rude, and you're going to get, well you're not going to get bad luck. That's just bullshit *laughing*

D: But people will tell you you're going to get bad luck

K: Yeah maybe you'll believe them then have bad luck

D: Exactly, I'll remember that when I'm in Canada.

K: Yeah yeah do that,

D: Eye contact

K: that's important and I won't skip out on my rounds in Australia

D: Sweet, it's a deal.

K: Alright, alright guys, so again if you want to contact David Peachey. It's

D: Yup, yes that's my tag

K: And that's how you can get in contact with him. And we'll catch you next time, on the next podcast of Uncensored English.

Aug 8, 2016

Today we talk about one of Edward and I's favorite Canadian pastime, Canoe Camping.


*** INTRO***


K: So it's uh, it's another beautiful summer day here in Montreal, and I'm really starting to feel like the summer is going to be ending soon which is disappointing. But I got something planned in the next few weeks I'm going to go canoe camping again with my wife and I got Edward back here on the podcast and I know he just went camping to a very popular destination in Ontario right?

E: That is true.

K: Right and where did you got, can you tell us a little about it and how the trip went?

E: Yes I went camping with my wife last week to a place called Algonquin park. And Algonquin park is a huge provincial park in Ontario. It's about 3 hours away from Toronto.

K: Yeah

E: And it's similar to a place that we've been to. In Quebec called Tremblant.

K: Right, Tremblant national Parc.

E: And we didn't get to see all of Algonquin, I think it would take a really long time to see all of the park.

K: Yeah probably

E: But

K: A few months maybe

E: BUt it was even more rustic, it's even more back country than Tremblant, as in you can really get lost in the wilderness there.

k: Ok, so it's probably less developed there too I hope, like where we go in Tremblant Parc, there's nothing really built there except they kinda have plots set out for where you put your tent on so it's not uncomfortable to sleep.

E: Yeah this is even, even less developed than that.

K: Good, that's great

E: And then you also have the option, like the place that we went we still needed to rent a canoe so we had to go to one of the bigger lakes that had the outfitters store.

K: Ok

E: So we could rent a canoe, if we needed life jackets. Or firewood, stuff like that. But if you already have a canoe and if you already have life jackets you can go to a smaller lake and you don't see anybody. You park your car and you just leave from their. And you know you sign in. Maybe 45 minutes before you reach this lake. And after that you're really just going into the wilderness more and more. You know just seeing fewer and fewer people and you're really getting into the back country there.

K: That's awesome, to me that's the whole point. Every time I see a person when I'm camping at Tremblant I'm like NO! This is my experience, get out of it, I want to be alone.

E: Right, well when we went camping we would purposely go at the start of the season and at the end of the season. Because we knew there would be fewer people right?

K: Right, right, and it's the same thing I'm going on August 11th, and 12th, and that's the middle of the week and I purposely chose that date cause I don't want to be surrounded by tons of teenagers partying and or just I don't want to share my campsite with someone. I want to be alone.

E: Yeah that's one thing, you go to a place like Tremblant and really you're removed from everything. And it happened to me one time. Where you arrive at the campsite and you're actually going to be six feet away from another tent.

K:'s like the worst. 


E: This is pretty, this is pretty bad.

K: This is garbage, depressing.

E: And uh you know Algonquin it's so big that that would happen less often.

K: Right

E: And they had some really cool sites, like the lake we were on. They had some sites that were just little islands in the middle of the lake. And those were the popular ones. Those were already taken when we got there.

K: right.

E: We thought about if we go back at the end of August or near September we could try to do that.

K: did you guys have to do any portaging when you were there?

E: We didn't, there are other parts of the park that are really popular for portaging. So portaging is where you canoe somewhere and then you have to get out get on to the land and carry your canoe and everything to another part of the lake or another part of the river. Right

K: Right you'll walk for who knows, a few kilometers or maybe more than a few kilometers with your canoe on your back.

E: you really, you really have to limit what you're carrying when you do portaging because you know when we went camping just last week. We still had a lot of stuff. Cause we were planning meals. And we'll bring the mat so we're comfortable in the tent. When you're portaging

K: Yeah you cant bring that stuff

E: You can't do that. Ok I got the tent, I got the sleeping bag, I got some food. you got a tarp. Ok that's all we can bring. Ok we've got the canoe on our heads and we're walking through the forrest.

K: When I, I remember when I did my canoe camping course in college. One of the instructors for the course, he had an eye, it was kind of like a, he had an eye problem, and someone asked him what's wrong with your eye. And what had happened was he had been camping, he was portaging, like he was doing a solo portage right. That means he was carrying the canoe alone. And generally you portage with another person.

E: Yeah

K: He was carrying the canoe alone and he didn't notice but he walked into a a tree. And one of the little branches of the tree went right into his eye.

E: Yeah

K: Like he couldn't see it and then that just I guess it damaged his eye forever.

E: Well, (clears throat) excuse me um.

K: Just in case you guys want to go camping. *laughter* This is an advertisement for it.

E: That's one of the big hazards cause you are going through, you're kinda bushwacking as we say, you're going through trails that have not been groomed, have not been carved out completely.So when you are doing that, and your arms are up holding the canoe you can't really protect your face very well

K: Right

E: So that's something that can be dangerous. For us, for us the biggest hazard that we ran into was the mosquitoes.

K: Ugh gross I hate mosquitoes.

E: And I'm hoping that when you guys go. Cause in Canada where we are at least the mosquito season kinda ends  at the end of July. But we were there around July 19th 20th. They were still probably not as bad as they were a month earlier. But they were still pretty bad. The second night we were there um the day was so calm there was no wind. And just at like 8:00 PM 9:00 PM you just heard the buzz of the mosquitoes.

K: (Buzzzing sound(

E: Yeah, and I told my wife, just listen. Can you hear that? And she's like what is that? and that's mosquitoes coming for us.

K: Yeah

E: And were just sitting there and there was like nothing you could do. And at that point there was nothing you could do so at that point we just go into the canoe and went on to the lake just to get away from the mosquitoes. And they were still out on the lake but it wasn't it wasn't as bad as you know sitting at the campsite.

K: Well I went last year at the exact same time I'm going this year and there was almost nothing last year, and the water was really warm too so I think hopefully we're going to luck out with that.

E: Yeah.

K: Remember the, and that's the other thing. I'm going with Michelle to, like she's 4, so I can't really do any of these bushwacking adventures you know. So we're going to a place that we know is beautiful but yet it's relatively close. 

E: Accessible.

K: And it's the place we went to the first time we went canoe camping, remember?

E: Oh I do yeah.

K: And the first time we went, we had a lot of fun. But the second time we went, is the time we went to the same campsite, but she had to share the campsite with these two women who we didn't know. And we were just like Nooooo, this is not fair.

E: Yeah well that's it, like I mentioned before. You go to a place with the intention of getting away from everything.

K: Yeah

E: And if someone else has the exact same idea. There is the chance that you'll end up like closer to strangers then you would be in the city.

K: Right, right right

E: that's a frustrating thing.

K: right

E: Sometimes it's just luck, and not being lucky.

K: But then the other thing that happened the second time we went is, I mean we went for I think two nights. And there was just, what I would describe as a shit ton of rain.

E: Yes

K: Like almost all one day, and one night, and then a lot of rain throughout. And you and I ended up being almost for a whole day we were stuck in the tent. 

E: I was thinking about this last week when we were camping cause we actually had really good weather.

K: Yeah, right

E: When my wife and I went. But I still thought of that time. And told her that story of one day, I think it was probably the second day we were there. I think it was the first full day. We woke up in the morning and it was kinda of drizzling. We went out in the canoe. It started to rain a little bit harder.  We got back. We went into the tent just to get away from the rain. And it didn't stop raining until 6 pm.

K: Yeah

E: And I think it was just uh, and I think we just took naps.

K: Yeah we just tried to sleep through it.

E: And ate granola bars.

K: But we, I think at the end of it I was getting a little bit of cabin fever, right. What would you describe cabin fever as? To the people who don't know.

E: It's a feeling of restlessness. Where you really you want to leave the place that you're stuck in. You want to do something else.

K: Yeah, right

E: So cabin fever, if you're snowed  in,  if you're cabin is snowed in. You have no choice to stay there to stay warm and to survive. For us camping we wouldn't have died if had gone out into the rain but we would've been miserably wet and

K: Yeah you kind of go crazy a little bit when you're locked in a small space for too long. And especially I think that's major cities, major cities always have more crime and more problems because they have so many people in a small space. That's the idea if you're stuck somewhere for a long time you're probably going to go crazy.

E: Yeah, yeah again we're really encouraging  people to go camping here.

K: Go camping it's great!

E: Go with your loved ones, you'll go crazy.

K: You might not love them when you come back.

E: There was another time that you and I went camping in a bigger group. And that time it rained quite a bit, but I think that time we just got the fire going and we just tried to stay dry next to the fire.

K: right.

E: That's the risk you run, that's the risk you have when you go camping and you don't really pay attention to the weather and the forecast.

K: Yeah, and even if the weather is nice, you should bring a change of clothes, bring a tarp, cause then you can just go out in the rain and it's not that bad and you can just enjoy yourselves.

E: Yeah when we went camping last week, um we knew that there was a chance that the day we came back there would be a thunderstorm and we were like, well we'll just go and see what it's like and if the morning that we have to come back we'll leave really early. And what happened was the thunderstorm was kinda cancelled I guess. They stopped predicting it in the forecast. But on the morning that we left it was really calm and we decided just to take our time and just to have a nice breakfast. And by the time we decided to pack our stuff to go back to our car the water was so choppy and the wind really picked up so we ended up setting ourselves up for a really tough canoe trip back. And took us nearly twice as long as it took to get to the site. And by the end of it it was so frustrating because we were just going straight into the wind, straight into the waves, and your paddling as hard as you can and you see that you're not moving

K: *Laughter* yeah

E: because you're just fighting everything going against you.

K: yeah

E: and uh when we did that that was a pretty frustrating little adventure. And by the end of it our muscles were so soar. And so exhausted, and then you just pack the car and now I have to focus on driving for 3 hours but.

K: Yeah, I always have the thought once when I go camping, I always have the thought where I just think why, why am I doing this? Why am I paying money to do this?

E: Yeah, yeah and I think that's a natural, thing to have cross your mind.  And I think that's a natural thing to have cross your mind because you know why you go to a place like Algonquin or Tremblant, but at some point you're like, but why am I punishing myself? When we were fighting off mosquitotes and it's like youre having a bowl of soup and mosquitoes are diving into it you're like ahhhh I cant even eat in peace.

K: Yeah *laughter*

E: Then you're just kinda like you know I have a perfectly good home that keeps bugs out and..

K: that's it, it helps you appreciate what we have and we often take for granted.

E: Yeah

K: Alright anyways I gotta wrap this up, because I gotta go pick up Michelle from her soccer game which is going to end in about 5 minutes.

E: Ok

K: Guys listening to this podcast, I know a lot of you have been camping. So I'm going to put this podcast on the facebook page, and in the comments section below, why don't you guys tell us about your camping experiences, you know the good ones, the bad ones, what do you want

E: the ugly ones

K: yeah, what amazing stories do you have for us? We'll catch you guys on the next podcast of Unnnnnnncensored English!


Aug 6, 2016

Today on uncensored English learn how to ask about sensitive subjects by using softeners. 


Aug 5, 2016

On the way up to Ottawa Keiran rambles about teaching, professionalism and life in general. 

Aug 3, 2016

*** Introduction ***


K: So I'm here with gabriel and MAx we just finished, outside of Kingston Absolute comedy club,

G: *Howling

K: Let's talk about that real quick, Max how do you think you set went? 

M: I think it went good, I didn't close as strongly as I should've at all. But it went good.

K: Kinda negative...

M: You want me to say only positive?

K: Nah nah, I was just asking you how your how your

M: I had a great time

K: Yeah I thought you set was good man I liked it. 

G: I listend to it, I listend to it over and it wasn't nearly as bad as I thought it was, I thought I died. But I got a couple of big laughs and a lot of shitty laughs. And one half joke kinda ate dick soo....

K: What do you mean by ate dick? 

G: It wasn't good it was meh, like it's not a good line, it's not a good joke. 

K: No but what does ate dick mean? People don't understand what that means. 

G: Oh it means it didn't go over very well.

K: So you say, I ate dick, means you didn't do very well. 

G: Well I didn't eat dick in total, that joke ate dick.

K: Ok the joke ate dick. Alright great.

G: Alright I'll do it for the Chinese people.

M: yeah so don't message Gabe if you want him to eat dick because only his jokes eat dick.

G: Yo I don't eat dick.

K: ALright let's move on with this


K: Enough about eating dick. So I was.. we did a podcast a few weeks ago and we talked about the word bitch, and ways you can use the word bitch. And some of my students said oh we have the same word in our language but it has like a negative sexual meaning towards women.

M: Right

K: and to me right away I was like that's not the same word. Either their language doesn't have the equivalent, or they mistook it for something else. 

M: Well in English there are a lot of people who think that the word bitch does have a negative connotation towards women. 

K: well no it can, but it doesn't have a sexual connotation. So if you think of a word that can be negative and have a sexual connotation towards women what would that word be? 

G: Whore

M: The C word

K: Whore is one of them yeah

G: Slut

K: I was thinking of slut, what were you thinking?

M: Cunt

K: I dunno if it has a sexual connotation to it.

M: Ahhhhh, it's a piece of a vagina.. sooo....

G: *laughing*

K: Ok it's a vulgar word for vagina.

G: *Laughing*

K: Ok we're not going to talk about cunt today, we're going to talk about slut.

K: So what, what do you think slut means Max?

M: Promiscuous women 

K: Promiscuous women

M: Usually a girl, like a younger women. 

K: Right, and would you say slut is a judgement? 

M: Yes

K: On women right? 

M: Yes, super judgy.

G: Yeah man

K: What do you think about slut?

G: Uhhhh, well there's a whole slut shaming, anti-slut shaming trend going around.

M: Campaign. 

G: Which I get it, cause there's a double standard right, like if a man has sex with a lot of women he's considered a stud, which means like a male that has sex with a lot of women.

K: Yeah he's like a cool guy.

M: He's very cool. 

G: And if women have sex with a lot of men, uh she's considered a slut. Which whatever like were all the same who gives a shit cause that's my opinion. 

K: Yeah but society I mean it's changing now right, 

G: Yeah

K: Like now people can be like I don't mind I'm slutty I like being slutty. But 

G: Yeah yeah yeah it's alright It's good man I like sluts, I'm glad they exist. 

M: But promiscuous women hide the fact that they're promiscuous so that they do not get judged. 

K: Right exactly.

M: But men do not. 

K: Right

G: Hmmm.. But not women don't give a shit, and I like that. They're wearing their sluts on their sleeves. You know

M: Haha!

G: So to speak. That's good, that's a good joke

K: So you mean today's women are more confident about going out there and being slutty. 

G: Yeah yeah yeah

M: Which is a good thing for all men.

G: I wish, I hope nobody hears this podcast in Montreal cause we're just a bunch of guys and well this is what I think about women. 

M: At least you didn't say the C word. 

K: Well no, it's fair though like, when you see a women who is dressed very provocatively you would say that women is dressed slutty. 

M: Right

G: I don't know sometimes I see a women whose dressed provocatively I think I'm very attracted to that woman. I don't necessarily think that she's a slut. 

K: No I don't think that she's a slut, but we would label that a slutty way to dress.

M: You you could, yeah, yeah. 

G: Yeah I guess.

K: But if a man is dressed I don't know in like tight clothes and kinda showboating were not going to say he's slutty

G: No were going to think he's gay or whatever

K: yeah *laughing*

M: That's what I was going to say Keiran, that's exactly it. But I try to use the word she's dressed skimpy because I don't want to say she looks slutty because I don't want to seem like being a dick.

K: Yeah but I don't even think sluttiness is bad, I think some people think it is and I'm passed that judgement. 

M: Yeah that's what were doing.

K: Some people can own their sluttiness and that's empowering. But other people are like, I don't want to be seen as a slut. 

G: Well a lot of people use sexuality, and the power of their sexuality to validate who they are. 

K: Right

G: Cause a lot of people, let's say if they don't really have an identity. Like they aren't really doing anything other than they have a job, and they need something to express themselves and a lot of the time they use like sexuality and attracting a lot of people and having a lot of sex to define who they are as people you know?

K: Right, like when half the time we do our podcast your like, yeah living it up, I'm loving. 

G: Yeah exactly. I don't really have anything going. I do stand up. And I screw around and I have sex. And I have fun. And yea that's right I'm a slut. 

K: I'm just teasing you man

M: Yeah but it's the idea that if you were a girl you'd be like the woman in red you know. The woman everybody looks at and is like, oh my god look at that girl.

K: Right. Ok Max what's the difference between a slut and a whore. 

M: The easiest one is a whore, I think instantly of a prostitute

K: right

M: They take money to have sex 

K: Where a slut is someone who just does it, for the fun of it. 

M: Yeah, that's what they want. 

G: And the process is the payment.

M: *chuckles* One has the visa card scanner and the other doesn't right? 

K: So I would say, I would say when I was single I was a slut, right. Like I'm a slutty person. But is that common for people to talk about a man as a slut? 

M: I've heard it.

G: Yeah I've been judged. Yeah, but's fine, I mean I get it. 

K:But it's generally a female word right, no?

G: mmmm, I mean maybe in like, it's changing, everything changes

M: It is changing,

G: Everything evolves, like words evolve.

M: In the last 10 years I'd say it's been more used for girls and women, but now it's being used more in both ways. 

K: What is the male equivalent of a slut... you think?

G: It's like a gigalo?

M: No that's a male whore,

K: Yeah that's a prositute

M: That's somebody who makes money. 

G: Then what's a manwhore? 

K: Yeah a manwhore is a male equivalent of a slut.

G: Then what's a gigalo?

K: A gigalo is someone who takes money, a manwhore is someone who likes to have sex with lots of women. 

M: A gigalo is a male prostitute, but see that's the problem cause the word whore means you take money to have sex, but the word manwhore means slut, but they don't take money to have sex. 

K: Yeah it's kinda a few confusing circle.

M: Yeah, exactly, it's not logical. 

G: We're living in a crazy fucking world man.

M: Cause these words are based on the emotion that we attach to it and the definition we attach to it. Doesn't have to be logical. 

K: Alright this getting philosophical, philoso ah fuck 

M: Philosiphical ?

K: Philosophical 

G: We're talking philosophy

M: aren't you a doctor? 

K: Philo... is that the right word? Philo

M: Philoceraptor? 

G: *Laughing* 

K: Philosophical 


K: Philosophical

M: The pronunciation threw you off

K: There you go, yeah the pronunciation, it was embarrassing that moment. Anyways let's wrap it up, so a slut is a judgement against women, unless your owning it. 

M: Yeah

K: A slutty person is someone who likes to enjoy their sexuality.

M: Male or female

G: *creepy laugh* 

K: Manwhore is a man who likes to enjoy their sexuality but doesn't take money. 

M: Right.

K: But a whore is someone who likes to take money for having sex. 

G: We're going to get in so much trouble for this podcast.

K: Why?

G: Hahaha

K: This is totally a neutral perspective.

M: And a gigalo is a man typically who takes money to have sex.

G: And Rob Sneider was an actor who played a gigalo in a movie.

K: Therefore he's not a manwhore. But he's kinda a whore. 

G: He whored out

K: but he is a man

G: He whored out his career.

K: alright guys so I'm not sure if this podcast made things more clear for you but bitch is not a negative sexual word, it's a negative word to label a women. Where slut, it all depends on how you perceive it right? 

G: Yeah man

K: Gabriel looks scared, hahaha

G: I don't want George Braithwaite to hear this podcast.

K: Ah... Who cares about George Braithwaite man. Alright guys that's the end of the podcast. If you have questions you probably do let me know, and we'll catch you next time on the next podcast of UNnnnnncensored English!








Aug 1, 2016

Today on uncensored English we discuss a subject several ESL students have trouble grasping... sarcasm. Edward and Keiran talk about what it is, when it's used, and throw around a few examples.



*** Introduction***


So today on this Sunday morning, we have Edward back on the podcast with us, how's it going Edward?


E: Yeah, hey Keiran it's going pretty well how you doing?

K: Pretty sleepy to be honest, but you know you gotta plow through the sleepiness sometimes.

E: That's uh Sunday morning for you.

K: So what's new with you I haven't spoken to you for awhile.

E: Umm let's see, well I'm living in Toronto, still teaching online, still doing my own podcast, and doing a lot of editing work, actually its been quite busy the last month or two. So things are going well. Kinda miss Montreal, wasn't able to spend too much time in Montreal over the Summer. Went camping last week, I think I told you already.

K: Nice, yeah to Algonkuin park right?

E: Yes and my wife and I were celebrating our birthdays which are just a few days apart.

K: Oh that's convenient.

E: YEah, don't have to  celebrate for too long, don't have to be too happy  for too long.

K:  yeah exactly, just get it all over with.

E: yeah

K: be happy for a short period of time and then go back to being unhappy.

E: Yes, yes that's the dream right

K: *laughing* Yeah exactly

K: alright

E: now, .. ok,go ahead

K: No, what were you going to say?

E: I was just saying that joke we just made

K: Yeah

E: Obviously, obviously we don't really mean

K: no

E: that we want to be unhappy for the most part

K: yeah

E: but why did we say something like that

K: Yeah

E: well I think we were both using a little bit of sarcasm there.

E: Right, and uh that's a good example of maybe, of what you said we would  talk about today.

K: Right! Today were going to talk about, the art of sarcasm, which I know quite often goes over the heads of a lot of language learners. I mean particularly for me I realized in Korea, people weren't very good at picking up on sarcasm.

E: Right, and that's in general. Some people were better than others

K: Right, that's true, but I think it's very popular in uh British Humour.

E: Yeah

K: I mean people in North America also use it, but I think the brits are really the big proponents of sarcasm.

E: Yeah

K: I could be a little bit wrong.

E: Well um, I think, I think you'll see it in American shows too, and when I was teaching in Korea I would, you that show Friends, the sitcom friends was very popular for students who wanted like listening practice. And if we were talking about sarcasm I would give them the example of one of the characters Chandler.

K: yeah

E: Cause he was like, over the top, with his sarcasm

K: right

E: to me it's annoying, like you ask someone a question, like OHhh yeahhhh, ohhh what a smart question! Like uh

K: yeah

E: You don't want to talk to that person you know

K: no, you don't want that person as a friend.

E: Right, no that's it. Like uh, I can't just have a straight conversation with this person. But um, I found a lot of my students if they didn't know me, then they just thought I was weird. Cuase our first class together I was like, Ok today were going over past participles, I hope your excited, I'm pretty excited here, obviously past participles you don't get to talk about them every day so.

K: yeah

E: And then they're like, how, how does someone get excited about past participles. And you're just like no, I'm joking but I'm trying to make things fun because otherwise I'd just be going, ok past participles

K: laughing

E: you know, it's something your being sarcastic but in this case there's no mean intention, it's just how can I spice things up, how can I deliver the same information, but make it a little bit more fun. And let the students know that I'm trying to make it fun, I know that's it's not the most interesting.

K: Yeah, yeah it's uh, cause you're right, cause it is boring but it's funny cause it went over their heads and they didn't really get what you were doing.

E: Well that's it, and if you have a mix of students where one student has been in my class several times, and the other student it's their first class then it's like I can see them talking if I walk away. And one of them is like, this guys is weird, and maybe the other one would say oh no no he's he's joking like he's

K: yeah, ok, so let's talk about sarcasm real briefly. Let's talk about what sarcasm is, I mean for me, sarcastic comments are kinda, when you say one thing, and you mean another thing, and you usually indicate that by a rising intonation in your voice at some point in the speech.

E: Yeah, it's exactly that to me as well. It's saying the opposite of what you mean. And either your using intonation or just some unnatural emphasis or speech pattern to show the listener that you usually don't mean what your saying.

K: Right, right exactly.

E: So the rising intonation, or like stretching out syllables, like you know if I just say, it's realllly good, like

K: yeah yeah yeah

E: it's like oh Edward doesn't usually say realllly,

K: Yeah it's just unnatural for Edwards speech pattern right

E: right

K: ALright great so now that we've defined what sarcasm is, let's talk about how we use it. So I wrote down here I mean I think the most common way and what people probably the most think about is it's usually used, it's often used in a mean way to insult someone.

E: Yeah, um

K: Right, I could say hey Edward I got a new shirt look at this, do you like it.

E: Oh yeah, wow, can you tell me where you got that? I'm going to rush  out and buy the same shirt right now.

K: And I'll just be like awwwww

E: yeah

K: oh no that's terrible

E: yeah, I think that to me, when I talked to students about sarcasm they get the sense that it's negative for the most part.

K: well

E: I guess in that in that sense it's always an insults and I think sometimes it definitely is

K: well in that case I think it was like I think it's also common like I mean I didn't really grow up in a sarcastic environment, like another would be like if a kid comes home from school with his test, and he got like a C

E: right

K: And maybe his mom had to sign the test or something, cause I remember they used to do that, and then the mom would be like wow, well great job John, you did really good on this test, I'm going to pin it on the fridge.

E: yeah, right, like oh wow, what a gift you've given your mother.

K: Yeah then its kinda mean, right,

E: Yeah

K: Then it's the insult thing we're talking about.

E: Yeah, and I think that example is is you that would be really hurtful,

K: yeah that would be really hurtful right. And I guess that's an example of how we probably don't want to use sarcasm.

E: Right. That's that's not, I mean I think I do use sarcasm um you know at some point during the day, every day but I don't use it, but I don't use it to be hurtful right. 

K: No I think usually it's like your teasing someone a little bit. Maybe something they could've done on their own. LIke I'm sitting in the living room with my mom and my mom's like Keiran what's the weather like outside and there's a window right in front of us and it's raining. And i'll be like wow it's a really, it's a really nice day out there mom you should just go out for a walk.

E: we should spend the day at the beach

K: yeah exactly, so I mean people, it's not really that mean cause she's in the room with me and she sees the weather and she gets that I'm teasing her right.

E: right, so in that case , in the case that your describing, that's where your using it more for comedy and it's more innocent, just like teasing, you want to make a joke rather then just looking out the window. If you were to say what was on your mind when your mom asked you that question then you would be more hurtful.  Like mom look out the window, it's raining, ok like

K: What what are you dumb?

E: Do we need to get you more classes?

K: *laughing*

E: it's, I think it's ah a nice way to to to disguise what you're trying to say and wrap it in something a little more teasing and a little more cuter than you know

K: right, at the heart of it I think it's still, a lot of people will think it's  mean, but at the heart of it it's like a nice way to direct your meanness. In a loving way.

E: right

K: If that makes any sense right

E: Right.

K: Were wrapping meanness up in a nice beautiful soft package. And giving it to someone gently.

E: Right, and you know like, sarcasm is, what it is is insincere speech


E: So whatever you're saying you don't mean what you're saying

K: right, exactly.

E: So you're giving credit to the listener, in assuming that they're going to understand that you're not being insincere.

K: Right, exactly.

E: So it can be mean to if you know someone doesn't get sarcasm, and you're still trying to be sarcastic. Then basically whoever you're talking to is going to walk away from that conversation with the complete opposite understanding of what you intended or what you meant.

K: Yeah, it's probably a spice better used with people you know a little bit.

E: PRobably, yeah

K: Probably

E: Otherwise your like, Keiran recommended this new restaurant, he said it was reaaaally good, and I just went there and spent 80$ and it was the worst  food I've had in a year. And then you go you actually went there? I was, I was joking.

K: I was being sarcastic right,

E: They put... whatever

K: ok

E: Yeah

K: This is great, so we did uh, it's used to insult someone, it can be used to kinda tease someone in a comedic way. And the last way, I think this is the way I know the most is to to deal, to deal with insults.

E: Yes

K: Like to deal with someone saying something to me, that I didn't particularly like, for example like I did a comedy show. And, and some guy comes up to me after the show and says you know that last joke you did about blablabla, and I'd be like well if you say so, I'll just take it out of my repertoire.

E: right, right,

K: It's like I'm kinda just acknowledging his comment and then saying I really don't care.

E: It's like oh thanks to your feedback I've decided to give up on comedy.

K: Yeah, haha exactly.

E: Yeah, I guess I don't know you just I think in the case like that you just throw something back at someone, and maybe you make them think about it again.

K: right, it's just saying to someone you know what, what you're really saying is that wasn't very nice and I Don't need that comment.

E: ANd it's the same thing like if a student said like oh teacher that class was really boring. Oh yeah, I think I'll stop teaching.

K: *Laughing*

E: It's, *mumbling* it's just an example. You know it's pretty similar to what you're saying.

K: yeah and it's a great example but I think it's a more effective way of dealing with it straight on and saying saying to the student, well Jennifer I don't really appreciate that comment Like now you've created a conflict and there's probably going to, both people will have some negative energy and residue for days after that, but if you just directed, if you addressed it with sarcasm. You're trying to diffuse the situation and maybe lighten things up about it. And it's not to close the door to feedback, feedback and criticism can be can be very helpful and I'm just thinking ah yeah again I'm just thinking of different examples and sarcasm is something we use when we get defensive. It's something we can use just to, to avoid being too affected by what we hear.

K: Yeah, right exactly, alright great.

E: Can I, I was thinking you know cause on my podcast I was talking about sarcasm a little bit

K: Yeah

E: about a month ago and one other thing that I was saying, like non verbal communication

K: Yeah

E: Where you say something but you use hand quotes

K: yeah

E: to say, you know to show like, if I say like oh yeah I loved, and I put loved in hand quotes and so you know that I don't mean what I just said.

K: right

E: or another example would be like you wink while you say something.

K: Right, right, right,

E: and then so your your like maybe if you aren't, if you aren't altering your speech enough your giving the gestures to show that you are still being sarcastic or your still being insincere.

K: Right. So what, let's just let's just let these people know, do you remember which podcast number that was, the one you did on sarcasm.

E: Ummmm, the number I'm not sure, it's around, it's around episode, I'm going to say episode 9.

K: *laughing* K will you labeled it sarcasm right?

E: Yeah but the title is uh Sarcasm and the Summer Solstice. So it was right around June 21st.

K: Ok, ok great so if you guys want to know more about sarcasm you can listen to Edward's podcast it's Edward's ESL Edge, it's sarcasm and the Summer Solstice. And let's just recap this really quick. So we were saying, sarcasm is kinda like giving a bit of a mixed message. When you say something, but you imply another thing, by using an altered voice tone or speech pattern that's not normal right?

E: Right

K: And the common ways that we use sarcasm or at least Edward and I, and maybe I mean we don't really use it to insult people generally , I don't think I've ever really done this, or I probably have at some point when I was in a sour mood. You can use sarcasm to insult people in a mean way. It's often used for comedic effect. And then the third way we talked about is to address someone who is insulting you, to kind of brush off the insult in a non aggressive or a non conflictual way.

E: Yeah, and uh and like speaking of comedy. There's also the expression of saying someone is being deadpan,

K: Um hmm

E: And when they're being deadpan, they're using sarcasm but they're not giving any hints that they're using it.

K: right

E: And that's one form of comedy that some people really don't get because you are listening to someone speak. And there's no indication that they're being insincere but they mean exactly the opposite of what they say.

K: Right right right

E: So, that's something, that's even harder to understand I think if you don't speak English as a first language. It's like a mystery it's like a code you have to uh decode or uncover.

K: right we'll probably get into that on a future podcast. Alright so that's it uh Edward thanks for coming on and helping us with this.

E: Oh no problem, oh it was my pleasure.

K: hahaha alright, you sarcastic bastard. ok and we'll catch you guys next time on the next podcast of Unnnnnnnnncensored English!