This week we listen to a few jokes from a professional comedian I saw at the Just For Laughs festival. Let's see if you can get them. Then we discuss the expression "had it coming" and how to use it.
*** Introduction ***
So we're sitting here in the parking lot in Kingston, with the windows up.
G: Kingston Jamaicaaa!
K: Not Kingston Jamaica.
G: Home of the, home of the radiclavs
K: Yeah so we got the windows up to block out sound,
K: Yeah so we're just going to shoot the shit, we're just going to have fun on this podcast. Ah so it was a three hour drive up here, how are you guys feeling?
G: It was terrible, it smelt like feet the entire way.
M: I feel great I didn't drive at all.
G: ahhhhh Keiran doesn't have a sense of smell, so the entire time he was like ah what a wonderful day.
M: He traded it for superpowers, he traded that sense for superpowers that he fights crime with.
G: It's so hot in this car.
M: It's really hot in this car.
G: I'm drinking some booze, so life is good, living la vida loca
K: Yeah I'm glad we're hear because Gabriel had a real bitchface on his face the whole time we were driving down here. Like he kept complaining like, he didn't know the 3 hour drive he's done about 4 other times before it was going to happen.
M: Real bitchface.
K: He's on his man period, that's what's going on with Gabriel. Max was good though.
G: I've been going through a bout of white privilege lately.
K: What's white privilege?
G: It's, ok. If you guys didn't know out there, the fans of Gabriel, I am a caucasian. Which means I am a white person. Which means that I feel that I'm entitled to a few things that other people aren't like quick drives to other cities. That is awful I refuse to
G: to ever, you know this is the last time I'm coming up here.
M: without a flight.
G: Yeah exactly
K: Yeah they're going to hire you to do your amazing 6 minutes. They should fly you down.
M: They should've flown you in. And they're going to give you no money.
G: Holy shit
M: Fuckin hot
G: Were not getting any money anyway, today.
M: I know. It's a career, you're starting your career.
G: Yah yah yah yah
K: Yah let's keep the windows closed.
M: Yeah let's keep the windows closed, yeah so it stays hot in here even though there's no cars around us.
K: alright, so Max what have you been up to in your life recently?
M: I recently divorced my wife of three years, she had enough of me, always teaching the kids how to do math.
G: Who was that girl that was in your snapchat?
M: What? Which one?
G: The Chinese one, she's like making your life. The only one on your snapchat
M: I have no idea what you're talking about
M: Oh her, she's like one of my best friends
K: THe only girl that ever agreed to pose with Matt, Max in a picture.
M: Yeah that was a friend of mine from high school, we're just friends. No nothing big going on with me. I'm not divorced. For all Max's fans I don't have as much privileged as much as Gabriel so I can handle car rides that take a long time.
G: Gabriel doesn't have privilege he lives with his mom in a crappy apartment in Parc-ex.
M: Yeah so somebody cooks for him, that's privilege.
K: Yeah for all those guys listening to the podcast outhere if you want to add Gabriel's mom on facebook.
G: No, don't
M: Follow me at MaxLemtweets.
G: I don't want a bunch of Russians adding my mom.
M: Uh, that's funny.
G: So I'm going to take control of the podcast. Uh, let's talk about Sunday.
M: (Fumbling in the car)
G: K what's the matter with you.
K: It's really hot in the car right now.
G: Holy shit.
K: It's why were all, my hands are getting wet.
G: Jesus Christ
M: I brought a, I brought a change of clothes. And now I actually need it.
G: People, children, die, imagine dying of this,
G:people die. This makes sense man I understand.
M: This won't be a podcast this will be fucking murder evidence. For all three of
us killing ourselves.
G: yeah, by the end of this podcast were just going to be
sweaty dead bodies.
K: You can survive 6 more minutes. Alright what were you saying about Sunday Gabriel
G: Ok I went to a show Sunday, it's Just for Laughs, which is the biggest comedy festival in the entire world.
After the show I went to a hostel where all the wonderful people of the world come to enjoy cheap laa-- hotels whatver
G: So I'm there with my step brother and we're chatting to these two hot sex ladies from Toronto. And I lean and my this is my this is my opener when I was
trying to speak with them, I said hey is it, when you say is it toronto or taronta. And they immediately were like ooooooh. I like this guy.
K: That's a good opener.
G: And they're laughing and were talking, but then we ask them uh so are you staying in the hostel, and they're like yah. We're staying with 8 other people in
1 room. And so like five minutes later and being, after like 2 hours we just got up and just left. And we saw the look on their faces, what what why why? ah, ah
and I was like alright whatever and that made me feel really good to have like power over somebody like that.
G: and I woke up the next day really hung over. Oh ya! Can i mention, the drink that made me
K: yeah sure
G: alright so I was on Tinder the next day, very hung over. I felt so sick to my stomach. And the girl I spoke on Tinder, Tinder's a dating app on your phone
I don't know if you have phones out there.
G: what? I was speaking to this one girl and she said. She gave me her remedy to cure hang overs.
K: So what do you mean by cure hangovers, in case they don't know, what's a remedy to cure hangovers.
G: Well a remedy is like at home, it's like something you make at home in order to
M: Heal yourself
G: Help, I felt very sick I needed something, I needed something to make me feel better. Basically
K: ok, ok
G: The recipe was 12 oz of orange juice, 20 oz of water, and I think two table spoons of salt, and it has to be kind of warm. so alright, and that's a lot of water.
And an insane amount of liquid that was tasting disgusting so, I took it, I had it, and I chugged half of it. Like immediately. And immediately just threw up
G: And I was in the bathroom when I drank, and I threw up in the bathtub. And then it went like right into the toilet. And then I wrote oh my god it made me throw up.
and she's like you're not supposed to chug it you idiot. You're supposed to like drink it slowly.
And I'm like I didn't know
K: THat's uh, that's funny man.
G: This is why I feel so hot.
K: Alright what's new with you this weekend Max.
M: Uh this weekend, what did I do this weekend, Jesus Christ, uh I didn't do anything man I just
K: Alright you just had a low key weekend.
M: I just cleaned my apartment. Like I don't even remember what I did. DIdn't do any shows. Ah what the fuck, I got no idea.
It's too hot to remember.
K: Alright Max has a boring life everyone
K: THat's basically what happened with Max
M: YEs, yes I have a boring life. I I I organized my chess set, I turned on my computer to make it still activated normally.
G: He cleaned his pocket protector
K: I know what you did you played pokemon go
M: I played pokemon go in the streets, I played soccer for like two hours and got a huge sunburn.
G: I like to thank China for pokemon go. For delopping that app for us.
K: Are you playing Pokemon go?
K: I'm playing pokemon go
M: I played soccer for like two hours, that's why I did this weekend.
K: It's funny I went I started playing with my daughter, and we were going I was like let's go catch some animals.
Cause she's three and she doesn't understand the concept so were going and she sees a real animal and she's like dad throw the ball at that animal
and no you cant catch it.
M: IT happened to me too I saw a squirrel and I wanted to catch it, it didn't work though it was a real squirrel.
K: Alright guys this car is really hot.
G: hahaha yeah
K So we're going to, were going to wrap this up, uh, we talked about a few cool words like Gabriel has a bitchface, meaning he was in a in a sour mood the whole
K: So we said Gabriel was bitch face and a great remedy for hangovers was a ton of orange juice, a ton of water and salt.
K: And don't chug it like Gabriel cause you'll just end up saying some embarrassing stuff after. Alright guys that's the end of this. We're going to do another podcast
after the comedy show. And well we have a little bet who's going to be the best don't we.
G: yeah and we're going to figure it out. And it's a battle of the wits.
K: We're going to see who gets the most laughs, it's going to be Gabriel and I, and Max is going to be the judge I guess.
M: I guess so
K: are you going to participate?
M: Yeah I'll participate.
K: Alright alright we're going to see who wins.
M: Fuck that
K:Well catch you guys next time on the next podcast of Unnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnncensored English.
A brief announcement regarding transcripts and the Uncensored English Facebook page.
There's problems with the Tarzan movie, and movies in general, and Keiran makes up for being lazy this weekend.
*** Introduction ***
So it's Sunday afternoon here in Montreal Canada. How are you guys doing over there? I'm not publishing this podcast on Sunday, it's actually probably Monday or Tuesday, but regardless hope you had a great weekend. So this weekend I had a really low key weekend. I did not do much, I did almost nothing at all. I'm actually feeling bad about it a bit now. Cause I mean I was burnt out, I just needed to relax. So I needed to do that, it's ok. I went to see a Just for Laughs comedy show last night with my older sister and with Max we went to go see the nasty show. The nasty show features some fantastic comics. A few lesser known comics, and all of the comedians tend to be more on the dirty side, on the vulgar side, they talk a lot about sex, they talk a lot about, mmm dark stuff, and things that you can't usually hear, very offensive stuff and overall it was a fantastic show I had a great time. And earlier in the day I went to see Tarzan with my wife. Tarzan the movie, it was alright, i wasn't really excited to see it in the first place, it was my wife who wanted to see it. And, what was exciting for us was that that was the first movie in I don't know three years, that we've seen without my daughter. It's the first movie we went to see that wasn't a kids movie. So that was, that was exciting, to be in a movie theater without a kid like clinging on to me and whining, and hogging all the popcorn and not sharing anything you know, and that was a positive side of the trip. But I had a, I had an issue with the movie and it was that um, every single male character in the movie was absolutely ripped, they're in top physical shape, every character had like a six pack, broad big shoulders, huge muscular arms, and I mean I get it, for Tarzan, I understand that Tarzan has to be like this because Tarzan grew up in the jungle like fighting with animals and he's this muscular dude. But I've seen pictures of natural geographic and I know that most, people who grow up in African jungles are not these super body builder looking guys, who are they making this movie for, I don't understand why they have to propagate the idea that every single male who exists is just huge and muscular. It's dumb and get that we do this with women in movies too, every women has to be beautiful. But like it's just, who are they trying to sell this to, like who buys this. It was the same thing with 300, like 300, the movie 300 they're all warriors, so ok, but it's dumb. Like men, men this doesn't appeal to men, like heterosexual men they don't care about this, and I'm pretty sure heterosexual women don't care about this either. Like women in their thirties and forties they're attracted to a man because of character, so why do they make this lie that everyone is ripped. I don't know it pissed me off. Let's get on with this story I guess. Wednesday I'm going to Kingston with Max and Gabriel, we're going to do a Comedy club Wednesday night. So we're going to do a podcast Wednesday night that's going to be fun so you should expect that on Thursday. And that brings us to our topic today. I did nothing this weekend I did no podcast. Usually I try to get two or four podcasts done on a Wednesday or a Saturday I did none. So I'm going to make up for it right now by doing this podcast with phrasal verbs about the word make, and by make up for something I mean I'm going to compensate for the mistake or the laziness I had earlier in the week by creating a podcast now. So I'm going to make up for the laziness by creating the podcast now. Make up for something. Have you ever made up for something, sometimes people have to make thing up to their lovers, you know, I gotta make up to my wife for not taking her out to that dinner I promised her last week cause I was overwhelmed with work. So I'm going to make it up to her and take her to a fancy restaurant next weekend. I'm going to make it up to her. What have you? Have you ever made it up to somebody? For something you were supposed to do but did not do? How did you make it up to them? Did you buy them flowers? Did you romance them? Did you take them out to a fancy dinner? To the theme park? What did you do to make it up to them? So that's make it up to someone.
Ok the next one were going to do is make up a story. Little kids are great at making up stories. And by making up stories we mean fabricating a story which is clearly false, a tall tale, in order to deceive someone or possibly just to entertain someone. For example I was calling my daughter to come in for dinner and she didn't come and I was like "Michelle I called you 5 minutes ago where were you?" And she said " Well I was playing in the garden and I saw some butterflies and they started talking to me and they told me about the secret butterfly world where every kid has five butterfly friends and they're rainbow colored butterflies and they were..."
"Michelle stop making up stories, get inside." K she was making up a story. Sometimes in school you would have some homework do or an assignment do and you wouldn't have it done. So you would make up a story on the spot to tell your teacher to hopefully get out of that sticky situation and hopefully your teacher would buy the story. And maybe you said oh my dog made, my dog ate my homework, and if your teacher was smart they would be like John stop making up stories you have to stay for detention you didn't do your homework. So make up something, to fabricate a story, a lie, in order to get out of a sticky situation or just to entertain somebody.
OK, the last phrasal verb today, we're going to do with make and up. Make up is to make up with someone. Meaning to forget your problems and to repair your relationship and move on with your life. For example "John and Jennifer had been fighting for weeks over what to do, or where to go on their holidays, but they finally just picked a place and they made up and now their relationship is going smoothly again. They got over their egos, they let go of their bad feelings and they just made up. The US and Russian governments need to just make up and move on with their lives, stop demonizing each other all the time, they need to make up. Alright guys that's that's it I'm going to wrap up this podcast so we had three phrasal verbs. All using the words make up, make up for something, or make it up to someone, means to compensate for letting someone down. I made it up to my wife by taking her out for a romantic dinner. Make up the second phrasal verb, is to create or to fabricate a story which is clearly a lie, children are great at making up tall tales or making up stories to get out of punishment. My daughter made up a story about the butterfly world. And lastly to make up with someone , to make up with someone, to make up, John and Jennifer just made up with each other. Is to forget your problems, repair your relationship and move on with your life. The Russian and the American government should just make up and get on with all their corrupt activities that they need to get to.
Alright guys that's the end of this podcast, the uncensored English facebook page is officially open. I put a post up there already. About the last podcast, podcast number 54. Being on the fence about something. In that podcast I talked about an issue I was on the fence about so I want you guys to go there in the comment section and let me know what you think I should do. What would you do in your opinion about this situation I was in. And let me know is there anything in your life that your on the fence about. Or have you ever been on the fence about something? So say hi, introduce yourself, tell me where you're from and tell me your opinion and tell me your opinion about podcast number 54 being on the fence about something. That's it guys we'll catch you with Max and Gabriel in the next podcast.... and have a great week... this is it... rate the podcast, review it, listen to it if you liked it again, rate it again, and we'll catch you next time, on the next podcast of UNnnnnncensored English!
Have you ever been on the fence about something? Keiran is today. Come learn about being on the fence and find out what happened to Keiran's laptop on Tuesday.
K: So today we have my good friend Frandy back on the podcast how's it going Frandy?
F: Sup, it's going well, it's a nice day today in shiny Montreal. Sunny, bright and hot!
K: Yeah, it's a really hot today yeah. Well hot for Montreal right?
F: Well Montreal's pretty hot like in the Summer, it's very humid and too hot. It's too hot, just too hot, today is what? Like 32?
K: Right, 32
F: you like that?
K: Anyways today
K: Today Frandy's back on here, and we're not going to be doing the educational podcast today. We're just going to shoot the shit. We're just going to have some fun, we're going to talk about one of our favourite places Montreal
F: Yeah, it's a bitchin city.
K: It is a bitchin city. Alright so Frandy, when you think about Montreal, what do you think is your favourite thing about the city? What's the thing you think of the most when you think about Montreal?
F: Uhhhh loose women.
F: No, what I like the most about Montreal is the people. It's people, like it's people are so easy to approach. Like compared to other places that I've been. Like you can just go to a festival or a bar and sit down and start a conversation with anybody, well depending, well usually you can talk to anybody make friends very easily on the street or at a bar or at a club or whatever. People are very open minded about stuff.
K: Alright so you're saying Montreal is just a friendly city when you compare it to other
K: other metropolis
F: Yes but I've been to like places that are not that friendly, I guess, I'm not sure if I could compare it to South America, I mean like for the places that I've been around like Asia and Europe. I think Montreal is one of the friendliest places I've been.
K: Right, and I think one of the reasons for that is because of the big mix of different cultures.
F: Yes, it's a big melting pot here, everybody is from a different place. There is not like a Montreal identity, per se, it's just mixed.
K: Ok wait, what did you mean by a melting pot? What's why is Montreal a melting pot?
F: A melting pot, what I mean by that is it's very multi cultural, there is like people from different cultures. All melted, All mixed into the same pot, into the same city, the same place.
K: right, so Montreal is a pot, and all these different ethnicities get mixed into this one pot.
F: Exactly, that's the, that's the idiom yeah. A melting pot
K: Alright cool. And that brings me to one of my favourite things about Montreal is just the variety of different foods and different festivals that you can find here.
F: Yes, that's true. And there's also a food festival which is the multi cultural food festival that's going on the island. But yes, since there is like different kinds of people there's a lot of different kinds of food, restaurants, and also activities like festivals, for example last week there was the caribbean festival.
K: Oh right
F: You missed that huh
K: No I didn't go to it
F: Big Caribbean, there was a big parade on the street, and it was really really cool. Nice.
K: What's what's the name the girl from our former school, uhhhh
K: oh man I'm forgetting her name
K: no, she was in that a year ago right?
K: I remember seeing pictures of her on facebook with all the crazy like outfits
F: THat's true because she is from Trinidad and Tobago. So she did a traditional dance and was wearing uh traditional clothes of that country.
K: Alright cool
F: yeah it was cool.
K: Alright so we got Montreal is a great city for it's friendliness
K: And we got for the variety of foods and festivals.
F: Yes, yes
K: What else do you like about Montreal, what else do you think about it is great?
F: uhhh the fact that we have a subway. Hahaha, I mean it's funny to say but we have a transport, transit system is pretty good. We always complain about it, or bitch about it, meaning complain, we always complain about it but actually compared to a lot cities that I've been in. The transit system is pretty good. It's really good.
K: I like the transit system, I'll agree with you on the subway, I do not like the buses.
F: No I don't like the buses, however you can take the buses all night. Like you can, well most places you can get, you can get to using the night buses.
K: OK in the city we have the night buses.
F: Yes we have the night buses in Montreal. So uh most cities that I've been in, for example Japan. It's a really big city, it's a city that never sleeps however the bus stops at like 10:30 or 11:00. So you're stuck. If you go to a bar and you over drink and stay a little bit later, you have to take the taxi to come back and it's super expensive.
K: That's weird, they don't have subways there?
F: Yeah but the subway ends at 12:30.
K: really? that's weird?
F: I know right.
K: I thought it was the city that never sleeps.
F: The city doesn't sleep but the buses do I guess. It's not like here, that's what I like about the transit, like I can go out, party all night, well not all night, well I can party all night actually, yeah I could just leave the bar until 3 o'clock then walk around until 4 or 5 and then go back home taking the bus.
K: Alright, this is getting depressing for me cause I cant do this because I have kids so let's just move on to another
F : hahahah I'm so sorry.
F: Your glory days are over, no.
K: I'll be back in 10 years, when she's more independent.
F: Yeah, she might even join you.
K: I'll be that weird 40 year old guy at like a 18 year old bar or something.
F: Yeah why not?
K: Hey kids let's stay out and party.
F: Montreal's a friendly place like that. You could still, I think you could still get away with it.
K: OK wait, let's talk about what's not so great about Montreal?
F: Not so great?
K: It's not the perfect city, I mean every city has it's flaws too right?
K: What do you think most people do not like about our city?
F: Ummm well one thing, for one thing, the way that people manage homeless people, homelessness is Montreal is really bad. Because we have too many homeless people and not enough shelters. That's one of the things, so there's a lot of beggars on the street and tourists that come here always get bothered by them.
K: Right, right, and that's I dunno I'm thinking of the cities I've lived in, like here Vancouver, Korea,
F: Wait compared to Vancouver Montreal is ok
K: Vancouver is terrible for homeless people.
K: Frandy's right though there are a lot homeless people in Montreal, and I don't even know the solution to that, that's just uh pnoing problem, like what do we do?
F: It's just like we don't have enough shelters. Like, that's not the only reason, but it's one of them.
K: They got all these abandon buildings
F: Yeah but they're getting kicked out of them
F: Cause the police doesn't want them to be there. And the owners of these buildings doesn't want them to be there.
K: THe owners of these abandoned buildlings which no body is using.
F: I guess so but still, it's their property and they don't want to devalue it.
F: Or something, anyway
K: Ok right, I got one, I think one problem people have when they come here is the language
F: oh yes
K: Because it's french and English in Quebec. No not in Quebec, in Montreal.
F: In Montreal,
K: It's French and it's English, but the French people want you to speak English, I mean French.
F: Yes they want to speak French all the time
K: But the tourist don't speak French.
K: And you can get in trouble for starting a conversation with
K: SO you have to say, Bonjour hello.
K: But then if they speak to you in French and you don't know any French. Then their like this guys doesn't know any French.
F: Exactly, if somebody says bonjour and you say oh I don't speak French their going to like, well not always, some old people or some very nationalist people who care too much about their country will say, hey in Montreal we speak French and stuff, this is Quebec.
K: yeah, there's this one guy, I always see him on Saint Laurent, he must be like 50ies or 60ies and he's always drunk off his ass, and he walks around going "Les Francais sont plus fort que les anglais"
K: And he says it over and over again, and in English he is saying the French are stronger than the English.
K: It's hilarious
F: And that's why the English won the war.
F: But anyway I don't want to go into history. But uh to uh to make a parallel to what I was saying before and what I was saying right now so first I talked about the transit system which is very good, we have a good subway, however if you don't speak French the subway can be a nightmare for you. Because if there is any trouble on the subway and they announce that some metro line doesn't work
F: They will only say it in French
K: Yeah yeah yeah
F: So if you don't speak French, you wont understand what they're talking about, and you'll be lost.
K: And that's unsettling cause
K: cause when you're stuck in a full subway, and its stuck in between stops, and you don't know what's happening. You can get claustrophobic, it feels claustrophobic
F: Yeah, and sometimes it's the Summer, it's hot, there's a lot of people, people are sweating and you're in a stressful situation
F: And then the inter phone, well the inter phone comes on and it says, uh the yellow line or the green line is stuck for 30 minutes please stand by. They will say it only in French.
F: So if you don't understand it and you're not with someone who understands it, you might feel a little lost, and panic.
K: Yeah I had that feeling in Korea, every once in awhile the subway would stop and they would make an announcement in Korean and I didn't know enough. I knew a little bit but not enough to understand the message. It's a little scary sometimes
F: Yes, yeah. So that's pretty unsettling.
K: Alright so we talked about Montreal being a great city, for meeting people,
F: Yeah, it's a friendly place.
K: For festivals,
F: Festivals, food
K: For transport
F: Transport, food, buses, metros, subways, trains,
K: But there's a lot of homeless people and there's a little bit of language problem. Let's end this off what is your all time, what do you think is the best thing, asides from the things we've mentioned about Montreal?
F: Ummm, Montreal is very European in a way. We have that cafe culture, we have that culture where people sit outside, drink on like balconies, not balconies, they call it terraces. It's like a big platform where people drink and eat outside and look at the people passing by. We have that culture, we have like theatre, those architectural uh, very nice and French European buildings. I like the atmosphere, the atmosphere of Montreal is very European.
K: right, we say it's the European province of Canada.
K: the thing I like about it is, we talked about the language problem but there's also this great thing where the French people in Montreal really have a culture of enjoying life, called le joix de vie
F: Yes, yeah
K: And they know how to party, and they're fun,
F: yes, and they drink a lot.
K: and and a lot of people say when they come to Montreal they're just shocked by how good looking the people are.
K: It's just cause there's this huge mix of people. That when you always look at the same kind of person you kinda get accustomed to it.
K: But in Montreal there's so many kinds of people so there's so many good looking people.
F: So if you're if you're if you're a heterosexual man, walking around in Montreal, even if you're gay, there's a lot of good looking people out there. Like people who are dressed nice, look nice, smell nice, like people who are nice to look at. People are very healthy here.
K: Yeah it's funny this morning when I, before I came downtown to meet you my wife was trying on her clothes to go out. She had this black dress on and she's like can you see my bum through my dress, can you see. And I was like, no it's just the usual Montreal style its ok. And she's like what do you mean are you looking at other girls well yeah of course.
F: I can't help it.
K: Yeah it's Montreal you have to. There's so many beautiful people and you gotta enjoy the scenery.
F: Yes exactly.
K: Alright great, so before we finish this off, we only mentioned one idiom here today but Frandy can you explain again what is a melting pot.
F: So, a melting pot, so it's like imagine a pot, imagine a pot, where you put all these kind of different ingredients in and make it into some kind of soup. Right, and this is what Montreal is, so imagine Montreal as a pot and all the different ingredients are its different kinds of people.
K: sexy people
F: yes, hahahaha sexy people
K: Sexy people soup
F: So there's like black people, asian, white, from everywhere, blacks from everywhere, asians from everywhere, arabs from everywhere, indian, so we have a lot of different people, we have lots of different people here and we all mix and melt into this big pot called Montreal, and it's delicious.
K: And it's delicious sexy pot.
F: yes, and when you eat it there's a party in your mouth.
F: When you eat that soup it's like there's a party in your mouth and everybody is invited
K: right and everybody should eat it.
K: Alright awesome man, thanks Frandy so much for coming on here again
F: No problem my pleasure and guys listen to it again. There's some good points about Montreal. There's a nice idiom in there for you, and we'll catch you next time on the next podcast of Unnnnnnnnnnnnnncensored English!
Inviting people out can sometimes be tricky. Today on the podcast John Rey helps Keiran discuss different phrases to use and different tactics to invite someone to an event without making it awkward.
K: So today I'm happy to have John Rey back on the podcast we haven't seen him for quite awhile.
K: How's it going John?
J: Um I'm great thanks a lot Keiran. I'm good you?
K: Pretty good pretty good, what's new in your life these days man?
J: Ah new in my life? Ah man just trying to uh work, create, trying to be funny, trying to make good designs, yeah that's it that's what going on what about you?
K: Ahhhh not much you know I had another stressful day of working.
J: Alright I feel you.
K: No no my works not stressful I love my work, it's just fitting everything into one day, that's the stressful part sometimes.
J: Oh yeah.
K: But anyways let's forget stress, today were going to talk about uh umm we're going to give the listeners out there some some tactful advice on how they can invite someone to an event on a date just out somewhere in general without looking awkward or making the whole invitation an inconvenient event.
K: HAve you ever had one of those where maybe you invited someone in the wrong way and it just felt kind of weird.
J: Um well I thought I was doing it well but I was talking to this girl. At least you want to ask her out, but just in a more subtle way. And I said ah we should uh go, go get something to eat. And then she just stopped me and said oh are you asking me out? Ah ummmm yes sure.
K: Yeah Well maybe maybe she wanted to uhh, well maybe maybe she' s just inquiring to whether it was as friends or romantically. Maybe she was going for the romantic one and she wanted clarification.
J: Maybe, maybe. It didn't feel like it was needed at this point of being an adult. But at least she didn't shoot me down after clarifying that so it was fine.
K: Yeah that's good man that's good. No cause I remember when I was younger, when you were younger you would call up your friend and be like hey man you want to come oer and play nintendo or something. And sometimes you would get turned down and it's just an awkward situation where he has to say no you know I'm going over to Mark's house
J: It's very awkward, it feels really awkwardly relationshipy.
K: Yeah, it's like he chose him over you and he has to hurt your feelings because of how you asked him right.
J: Especially cause you're a kid and your still insecure and you ask him why.
J: Your like what's better about Mark's place?
J: Your like ahh don't go there.
K: Yeah I mean he's got a cat and the couch smells like cat pee or something, why would you want to go to his house.
J: Like his mom has popsicles, like ah.
K: Damn my mom and her healthy eating habits. Right, but no it's funny cause that situation doesn't resolve itself over time like, inviting someone out. I think if you do it wrong it's always a stressful or it can lead to personal stress or embarrassment or awkwardness because someone has to reject someone right? If it's don
J: That's true, so what's uh, what's your move?
K: Well I want to give one example of something that happened to me, when I was in university this girl she was a really nice girl, she was at the gym I used to go to. And she wasn't really the body size I was attracted to.
K: And she asked me point blank. Hey have you ever been to the jazz fest. And I was like no, it sounds really great I always want to try going to it.
K: And she was like do you want to go with me on Saturday.
J: That's very direct.
K: And I was like uhhhh... yeah and I liked her and I didn't want to hurt her feelings. But at the same time she kinda already asked if I was interested in it and I said yes.
J: so it was a setup, ok I get it, that's messed up.
K: Yeah, so then I think I lied my way out of it. I think I just said no I have a family thing.
J: Ok, you tried to let her down easy.
K: Right I'm not just blatantly going no I don't want to hang out with you
J: Yeah I actually love this activity I just don't want to take part in it with you.
K:Right, exactly. So I think what I learnt from that situation and from I guess just polishing myself socially, is whenever I invite someone to something I just say hey I'm going out to do this later if you're interested just send me a text and we can meet up somewhere.
J: That's good, that way they can say yes or say nothing.
K: Right exactly, so they message you if they want to come. Or maybe they can just say ah I was busy next time they want to meet.
J: Yeah, there's no there's no pressure basically.
K: Do you have any other ideas that you use? Or is there anything you should avoid when you invite someone to something?
J: Um I think um, well something to avoid, I should just mention this but uh asking why they can't after, its just pointless. If you get a no just move on. You know, just move on with your life. Its fine. Uh something I like to do, its more in the cause the dating situation, is more just say directly we should do this.
J: Yeah, but not necessarily give um give a date on it. Um lets say we should get a drink. And the person, if there interested they'll go oh yeah I can on Saturday what about you?
K: Right, yeah that's smart cause when you say we should do this, you're kinda like, you're throwing out the invitation and you're kinda gauging their interest level
K: Right so if they don't really bite, meaning if they don't say something to indicate they're interested in it, then you can just abandon, abandon ship and not force that issue right?
J: True I guess it's similar to you in the sense that with uh you try to make it open ended where you can say yes or you can say nothing and I get it.
J: you know
K: yeah and that point you said about why is so true. I think why, why is I dunno, about 70 or 80 % of the time its just a bad question.
J: There' noth, there's no information your going to get from that answer that's going to help.
K: yeah it's like, like ask me uh, invite to something.
J: Oh Keiran tomorrow there's uh a show do you want to go to see it?
K: Why not man?
K: Well uhh you know I just I just going out with Gabriel so it's kind like a two person event
K: so we cant really you know, I mean it's not that we don't like you
K: It's not that I don't want you at that event
K: It's just that why did you say why? Why did you put me in this situation?
J: Because I hate myself Keiran, because I needed the confirmation that I'm right to hate myself.
K: That's such a funny thing, I even noticed sometimes um my daughter.Kids are just so happy, for no reason. And it's amazing
J: It's great
K: It's an amazing part of being a kid. and someone said to my daughter why are you happy? Like what are you happy about? And she just had this confused look on her face like like why are you asking me that?
J: Why would you even question that? What kind of sad mean bastard would ask why I child was happy.
K: Yeah it's just why is such a bad question sometimes.
J: that sounds like a villain in a disney movie.
J: You know
K: Alright, so let's just reiterate this John.
J: Mmm Hmm
K: What was your advice for the people out there when they're going to invite someone out there to an event how would you do it?
J: I would try to make an open invitation but not to say fix on a date, for example the jazz festival is for two weeks, would you like to see one of the shows? and the person will answer there's this show on Thursday I would really like to see that. Or if there not interested they would go, oh nah nah I'm really busy this month or whatever.
K: Right that's great, so you say just give kinda like an open invitation to gauge their interest, if their interested then you guys can you know set a date.
J: Yeah exactly, so it's more of a we both want to do this instead of I'm imposing this on you right now.
K: right. Ok let's talk about one more thing quickly. Sometimes you guys have an event planned
J: Mm hmm.
K: Or I have an event planned and someone backs out.
K: Youu they drop out of the event, and if it's a group event it's not, it's usually not a big deal right?
J: Yeah that's true, at least you're not just leaving someone stuck alone so you don't feel that bad.
K: Right, but sometimes everyone gets what I would call, blown off.
J: Oh sure
K: and how do you, if this has ever happened to you how do you think you should handle this situation?
J: Uhh if I'm doing the blowing off or if I'm the one in the group
K: Ok let's say both of them.
K: If you blow if you blow somebody off what do you say or how do you it?
J: Ah well I'll try to do it as early as possible. Just you know so they're not stuck. Or let's say it was something I was going to pitch in paying. They're not stuck paying more because of me. Umm yeah and just say oh you know what sorry guys I cant make it this day but I hope you have fun.
J: Yeah just really simple exit like that, try not to be too inconvenient.
K: And what about if you get blown off last minute how do you deal with those feelings or how do you act in that situation?
J: I try really not to be sour about it. If someone say they cant make it. I say no problem catch you next time you know have fun or hope your grandma gets better I dunno, whatever, whatever they said.
K: Yeah exactly, and probably not ask why, right.
J: exactly not ask any questions, good point, just uh, just let them live their life. If they didn't want to or couldn't it doesn't make a difference why.
K: Right, alright, alright great alright guys we're going to wrap up the podcast, so thanks John for coming on here and helping us again.
J: Thanks for having me Keiran it was fun.
K: And that's it guy, if you guys listen to this podcast one more time it has some great information in it about how to invite someone out in a non awkward way. And what to do if you get blown off. And we'll catch you guys on the next podcast of Unnnnnnnnnnncensored English!
Today on Uncensored English we discuss the never ending battle of conforming to societies demands while remaining ourselves. Learn a few useful phrases to help stick to your guns and be the person you want to be.
Have you ever been on a bad date, or been stuck in a boring conversation? Gabriel joins Keiran and they discuss some great conversation starters to take the pressure off your shoulders when trying to maintain a fun conversation in English.
K: So today were doing an outdoor podcast in downtown Montreal, in a little park off a boulevard so their might be a little bit of a background noise. We're going to have a
G: *Bird noise*
K: Fun topic today we got Gabriel Omassi back on the podcast how's it going man?
G: Pretty good, living,
K: Living and loving
G: how about you guys?
K: And today were going to talk about uh, keeping a conversation going, when things are getting dry you know. Like sometimes you go out on a date,
K: Or your out at a party and maybe the person you're with isn't really contributing much or they're a boring person.
K: And you want to spice up the conversation a little bit. And were going to give you guys a few "if" questions you can use. To keep the conversation moving and to have some fun. So before we start what's new with you Gabriel? I haven't seen you in awhile.
G: Uhhh man I've been on the internet, online dating game, you know, you know what I'm saying, I'm living, I've been meeting people, uh loving, ah man so much loving.
K: Last time we hung out you were going sober for awhile.
G: Yeah yeah so I did about a month sober, no alcohol, a lot of coffee. And I felt like a lost a bit of weight. So I started to feel a little bit better. I've been exercising, I've been going to the pool, I've been tanning. Uh I've been definitely getting a lot more looks from the ladies. So as a result now I'm feeling cocky, cocky means very confident. Overly confident for those of you that don't know what that means. And now I'm drinking again.
K: So you fell off the wagon a little. Nah it was a conscious decision, I made sure I said I'm going to start drinking on this specific date and once I reach that date, it's my goal and I hit it, and now I am having fun again.
G: Got my life back
K: good to have you back having a good time.
K: Alright so lets move on to the questions here Gabriel, so let's say were having a boring conversation and it's dying.
K: and you want to liven it up a little bit. What would you ask me.
G: Well one that I think about daily, is if you were famous how would you live your life.
K: If I was famous how would I live my life?
K: IF I was famous I think what I would probably do is I would probably go to a lot of parties, I'd probably stay up late, drink a lot, do a lot of nonsense,
K: Sleep in every morning probably go on vacation a lot and probably spend my free time maybe writing comedy every day or something.
K: Ok so if you were famous how would you live your life?
G: Well hopefully being famous, that means I have a lot of money, hopefully, I dont know depends maybe you're famous for doing something terrible and then you have no money. BUt if I was famous and I was rich. I would just literally just move away from Montreal where I live right now, and I would live probably somewhere away from a lot of people. And I would just visit my friends from time to time. But for the most part, I'd like to be, I'd like to be alone. I'd give up comedy that that's for sure.
G: Oh yeah
K: You're doing comedy to get famous
G: I'm doing comedy to make money one day.
K: You're going to have to move to do that buddy.
G: Yeah so if I make money. Then I'm done, that's it, I don't gotta do anything else.
G: Basically I just want to win the lottery. And if I win the lottery I'm giving up, I'm giving a million dollars to my mom, uh for a thank you, here you go you lady for raising me. Then I'm outta here. No one will ever see me again. Unless maybe like once a year I'll come back on like uh I dunno the Summer solstice or whatever anyway
K: Dude I added your mom on facebook
G: Yeah I know you added my mom on facebook
K: I Liked one of her pictures, then she liked one of my pictures.
G: OH my god that's so
K: Alright alright see the conversation got really fun and really easy with the questions we use.
G: That's good
K: K Gabriel you're on a bad date with a girl and then she, you want to liven it up so you ask her if you had no family and no parents
G: that's a weird question to ask *laughing*
K: how would you live differently?
G: Well if I'm on a date with a girl, I want to be like. I want to come off as sensitive you know. So I'd be like I don't know how I would live if I didn't have any parents you know. I feel like my parents are part of who I am. There part of nah honestly I didn't really grow up with a dad so half of that question is easy enough. My mom, I'm always trying to escape my mother. So I feel as though if my mom never existed this part of me that feels upset and empty would be filled with happiness because she wouldn't exist.
K: So your mother causes you misery.
G: Sometimes she's so stupid sometimes like she broke up with her boyfriend.
K: Maybe that's why you cant get a solid girlfriend cause you have problems with your mother.
G: She broke up with her boyfriend, listen to me people. And now she's moved back in with me. And she went on a date last night with a man without telling me. And it freaked me out I was texting her: are you ok? Are you ok? And then she calls me at 2 in the morning. And I'm like oh dear lord what are you doing this late at night with some stranger, I know what she's doing she's having dirty dirty dirty good sex.
K: Oh my god how good of a conversation you can have with these questions, so now you gotta return the favor.
G: Do you want me to ask you the, I'll ask you
K: you're going to ask me another one?
G: What would you do if you had no parents.
K: If I had no parents I would, I would probably not be involved in the same line of work I think. My parents always kinda directed, I think parents always should direct their kids in like uh healthy line of work you know.
G: Yeah, my mom was like do whatever the fuck you want.
K: Well alright,
G: She was like, gay straight it's all the same. And I was like who ok mom that's cool.
K: That's pretty, that's pretty liberal.
G: She's like as long as your happy. And I ain't happy now and I'm straight so I don't know.
K: Maybe you gotta go suck a dick, I don't know what do you want me to say.
G: Mmmwah, sorry.
K: So no if I had no parents and no family, I think I would just be in a completely opposite line of work, I'd probably have dived like headfirst into comedy if I had no responsibilities. I probably would've moved to NEw York or something.
G: IT's true if you had a wife, and no kid.
K: Yeah alright.
G: No baby mama
K: Nooo baby mama
G: Alright how about this, I was thinking about this all day today. If you could be any animal what animal would you be and why?
K: If I could be any animal what would I be and why?
K: That's a good question, I gotta think about, what would you be?
G: I'd be a bird. Because they have, when it comes to using the bathroom the bird has one hole and one hole only. Only one clean up. I guess with a man you have to clean up your butt. But like a bird you just shoot out whatever liquid, it's like mixed, it's the poo and the pee that's mixed together and it shoots out into just one squirt.
K: This is why this is uncensored English guys, these are great conversation starters, this whole podcast is to give you great conversation starters.
K: But if you're a first time listener to this podcast, this is why we call it uncensored English cause were given you the liberal (*liberty) to learn English and have fun conversations.
G: BUt you guys are from another country, you probably see chickens walking around in your backyard or whatever
G: Just know, just know that that thing is a bird and it has one hole, that is used for pooping peeing and laying eggs.
K: So every egg that has ever been made has been a shitty pissy egg.
G: It's gotta go through all the poop and all the pee. And it all comes out and then once the egg is down there. The male, the cock if you will, then the male pees on the egg
K: No, it's not true
G: That's how it works, that's how it fertilizes. Or whatever it does it's business
G: ???? or whatever
K: HOw is the, how is the fluid that makes the egg fertilize go through the shell.
G: it has uh, it's able to stimulate itself mentally.
K: Alright this is getting to stupid. Let's do the other end of the question here.
G: uh..... oh why. oh why, why um I think I said why, the hole.
K: No you answered it now you gotta ask me.
G: alright why would you be, what animal would you be, an elephant or a horse?
K: If I was any animal I would be a lion.
G: You know I was going to ask, i was going to be like let me guess
K: cause lions, no I would not be a lion, I would be a male lion. Cause male lions live in packs, the female lions do all the hunting take care of the kids,
G: That's good
K: and they ahve like three or four wives.
G: Like a mormon
K: It's not a mormon dude,
K: Don't compare a lion to a mormon.
G: Alright I dunno.
K: Alright, we're going to wrap this question up guys. So if you want some good conversation starters, if you're on a bad date, or you at a party and things are getting boring. You could ask them if you were famous, how would you live? If you have no family no parents how would you live differently? Or if you could be any animal, what would you be and why? And you can ask these to native English speakers if your nervous and you can let them do the answering first and you can answer after. Alright so before we wrap it up Gabriel do you want to say anything sane to all the people listening outthere.
G: Hey man, just live your lives, don't let anybody tell you what not to do, take some advice from me. I mean you cant put me on the spot here.
K: Alright that's it, that's it for the podcast guys, thank you for listening and we'll catch you next time on the next podcast of Unnnnncensored English!
K: What’s up everybody this Keiran the crazy Canadian, and welcome to another podcast of unnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn
Cause English isn't always PC.
So goodmorning, good afternoon, good-evening, goodnight, and thank you for joining us guys, so today on the podcast we got a new guest who is from Australia, his name is David Peachey, how's it going David?
D: Gooday Keiran, I'm doing fine, how's it going with you?
K: Ah I'm a little tired I'm a little tired because of the huge time difference we have but I'm doing good.
D: Nice nice, really good.
K: So David, today on the podcast your here to help us, we're going to contrasting some, I guess what we would call soft curse words.
D: ohhh yeah, like you could always use the strong curse words, like fuck, but there's always a way of doing it a little softer like in front of your grandmother. Unless your grandmother says "fuck" a lot. But who knows.
K: Right, haha, not mine.That's for sure, but I lived uh, I lived in Australia in 2012
D: Nice, um hm
K: I was just amazed by how many different words there were for similar things. Like one of the words I found funny was, the pharmacy in Canada which we refer to as the drug store.
K: In Australia was the chemist
D: Yah the chemist. Going down to the chemist.
K: yeah I gotta go to the chemist. I always felt like I was going to like uh like a magical lab or something.
K: Concoct something for me right in front of my eyes.
D: quite different
K: So so what what when you think about curse words that are not so dangerous to use, what are the most common ones that pop into your head?
D: Uh the first one uh which is typically typically Australian is our equivalent of, well it's what you'd say when you want someone to go away and you want to use quite strong language for it. And we say 'Rack off'.
K: Rack off
D: Rack off, and you can already guess which word we've replaced. Like rack as in like a clothes rack, not literally but rack off.
K: clothes rack, what do you mean by a clothes rack off?
D: um spelling, r-a-c-k, rack off, I always thought of a tennis racket but
K: Ok so rack off instead of saying fuck off is a more polite way to tell someone to get lost.
D: Ahhh yeah I wouldn't say it's polite, its appropriate aggressive without being vulgar.
K: Ok so let's do a little example, could you give us an example of how to use it?
D: Ok so if someone's bothering you and you you just lose your temper with that person you just say ah look just just rack off alright, rack off!
K: yeah, but could you say go rack yourself?
D: uh no this is a good question, I think rack off only exists in that phrase so we couldn't say this is racked, or go rack yourself
D: or this is racking good, it's not possible. So we just say rack off, rack off mate.
K: Ok so let's say i was uh, I used to live in Wagga
D: OH nice yep.
K: So some strange reason, not the most common place to go to in Australia. But let's say I was at a friends house and we were having a party and when I went to the washroom he drank my whole beer. And when I came back everyone was laughing at me or something I'd say go rack off or something right?
D: Yeah you could use that, like even though you're at your friends place or something you could say uh rack off! yea
D: Yeah you're annoyed with him.
K: Is casual cursing common amongst friends in Australia or does that just depend on the type of person you are in you think?
D: I'd would say casual swearing is really really common, I'd say fuck yea to that.
K: I think the equivalent to rack off in Canada would probably be screw off. Like if someone.
D: Screw off, ok, um hmm.
K: Like if one of my friends was bothering me I'd probably tell him to go, to go screw off or something.
D: Ok interesting, we wouldn't say that in Australia so, ok.
K: yeah rack off, but what did mean by a clothes rack off, is that why dry your clothes on is that your..
D: uh yeah just if any one of the listeners wanted to write down this word for future reference, r-a-c-k, off. It just sounds like the word without being the word.
K: Alright, ok, rack off, that's fun, ok cool what's the next one you have in your mind that people could use if they go to Australia and they get in a pickle.
D: Ok this one is a little more flexible then rack off, it's stuff, and stuff can mean literally have sex, but that was an old usage around the 70s 1980s. Um if you want to tell someone to go away you tell them to get stuffed. And you can say go stuff yourself.
K: Get stuffed
D: Get Stuffed
K: OK so if I say, if someone's bothering me and I say get stuffed.
D: Exactly that's completely natural.
K: I'm saying, what am I saying to him?
D: Um you're saying go get fucked.
D: Basically but you could say this to your grandmother.
K: I think, i think it's funny cause your telling him off, right?
K: But you're telling him to go do something pleasant kind of.
D: Yeah it has that doesn't it?
K: That's funny, get stuffed.
D: Uh hm. We can also use stuff to mean something is ruined, non functional, this is stuffed, this is no good
K:Ok so if I was driving my car and got in an accident, I would say ah no my car is stuffed!
K: really wow that sounds for funny for me cause I'm thinking,
D: Full of something?
K: Exactly! Ah no my car is full of car parts or something.
D: Nice, nice!
K: Can you give us another example with stuff, like another good way you can use it?
D: ah ok definitely, Again you're replacing the the old F word, if someone is wasting your time, uh we call that stuffing about. And you could tell someone look stop stuffing about.
K: Ohhhh stuffing about, that's interesting.
K: Ok so let's say I go to the coffee shop to order a coffee and then I make my order the person is I don't know, the person's 18 years old and it's their first job and their not moving quickly I'd say ahhh stop stuffing about and make my coffee!.
D: Exactly, its just such an easy access word, it's so usable isn't it?
K: Yeah that's interesting. Those are the things that confused me when I went to Australia, just because you have a concept of what a word is and then someone else has a different concept of how its used and its confusing right?
D: Oh yeah definitely yup
K: Ok what else do you got there in your Australian head?
D: Um in my Australian head, I have another one this is, um quite a funny one because this word um, as a verb has different meanings in different countries. Again it means fuck, this is root. Now you can use this in a literal sense. Um rooting last night, um you could use it the same as stuff. this is rooted, my phone is rooted, my car is rooted.
K: Oh you mean my phone and my car are are
D: ruined, damaged
K: Damaged ok right.
D: My car is rooted it won't start. My car is rooted, I've rooted my phone, I've rooted my car. Which gives an amazing image, but..
K *laughing* yeah that's funny. Cause when I think if I say I've rooted my phone, I say rooted as in to search through right?
D: Uh yeah, that's a very typical English, British English phrase yeah to search for something. Yeah you're routing through your phone, or you're routing about the house. We have a laugh about it when we hear it
K: Yeah, but then the other thing would be what's the best route to the party, but I guess you guys wouldn't say that?
D: Ahhh yeah we would just say the best way to the party.
K: Maybe you guys would say were going to the party to go route someone.
D: Exactly, pick pick up a root.
K: What's the best route to get to the party so we can route someone.
K: Right, alright these are these are so interesting to me because it just
D: It's it's a word you recognize but it's a different meaning entirely. Isn't it?
K: Yeah and I think it's good were doing this cause I know sometimes language learners are confused when they go to different countries where the English is a little bit different. Like if you learn English I don't know in Britain but then you go to the south of the US they might have a little trouble.
D: Oh yeah definitely.
K: But I mean, guys I'm, I'm Canadian, when I went to Australia I had a little trouble so don't worry about it right?
D: Yeah, it happens both ways and yeah I think we get confused sometimes it when we're overseas.
K: Ok well let's let's wrap this up.
D: yup, um hm.
K: so what are the words that you shared with us today?
D: Ok we have rack off which is a phrase itself. We have stuff, usually in the form of get stuffed, or my car is stuffed. Uh or stuffing around, you're wasting my time stop stuffing around. And root, meaning in the literal sense of having sex or again like stuffed, this is not working. My car is rooted my phone is rooted, it's not good.
K: Ok alright, yeah my phone is rooted, ok guys. So that's three soft curse words you could use when you go to Australia, or you could use somewhere else if you want to confuse native English people from Canada
D: Just so your speaking like an Australian
K: Yeah yeah so that's rack off, root, rooted, and then stuff, stuffed right?
D: Exactly, exactly.
K: Thanks so much David for coming out and helping out with these,
D: Thanks Keiran, it's been a pleasure.
K: And we'll catch you guys next time on the next podcast of unnnnncensored english.
Learn about falling off the wagon, and which scenarios this idiom is commonly used for. Also Keiran talks about his ideas for better Summers.
***No Transcript for this Episode***
Do you know how to use the word bitch? You might be surprised, come join Frandy and Keiran discuss some of the common uses of the word "bitch" and its derivatives.
So today I'm really happy to have uh I guess what I could call an old friend of mine on the podcast. I used to teach English with this guy at an ESL school in Montreal. Frandy why don't you introduce yourself tell them a bit about who you are.
F: Ok, so ,uhhh I'm a teacher, I taught English at different ESL schools around the world. Uh first and foremost I'm based in Montreal. Born and raised, uh that's where I teach now. But I used to teach in Japan, Korea, and China.
K: Alright cool man, so how long have you been teaching for?
F: Uh I've been teaching for the last uh 10 years now, 10 years, it's been 10 years.
K: Wow that's a long time.
F: Yeah that's too much.
F: And were still doing it.
K: OK so today we're going to talk about different ways you can use the word bitch.
K: But before we start off let me get your opinion, bitch, is bitch a curse word today? Or is bitch acceptable in general conversation?
F: I think bitch is accepted in general conversation when were talking about somebody who is detestable, someone who is not a nice person all around. And usually it's a woman. But it's not a curse word per se, I think it's more accepted now then it used to be.
K: Right, I agree with you, like if you said this 40 years ago people might have been like "Ohhh oh my gosh"
F: Yeah, you used to, you used to not be able to say that on TV. In the 90s I heard when people said the word bitch people were like oh my god yeah, it's crazy.
K: Alright so let's start off with what you said, bitch, bitch is generally the most common way to use it, which is to refer to uhh usually a women who is a cold unfriendly person right?
F: Yeah, an unlikeable person, somebody who you don't want to hang out with or talk to, or somebody who doesn't want to talk to anybody and is an asshole all around.
K: Right so I could say oh I went to the party the other day, and I tried to talk to this women but she was just so unfriendly, and she was kinda rude and short with everyone
K: That woman was a bitch.
F: Yeah, exactly, yeah.
K: How would, can you give me another sentence to show them how we could use it.
F: Ummmmm, like somebody who is insensitive, like for example if ummm uh if somebody says oh did you see that ummm Keiran just I don't know he gained he gained a lot of weight over the holidays, he's fat now. Hey wait don't be such a bitch. You know there's better ways of saying it, you don't have to be a bitch about it.
K: Yeah right, right right
F: An insensitive person, an uncaring person, an unlikeable person all around is usually a bitch.
K: Sometimes we joke about like oh Jennifer has been such a bitch lately, I bet you she hasn't gotten laid recenlty.
F: hahaha, true. Somebody who is very short, short tempered, or not who is like I dunno unlikeable. In recent days or as usual I dunno.
F: Some people are just bitches all the time. And some people become bitches over a period of time for some reason.
K: Ok but bitch as referring to a woman is not the only way were going to use the word bitch right? There's other ways.
F: Yeah, there are other ways of using the word bitch, or or a derivadiv like bitchin, or uhhhh
k: so wait what do you mean by bitchin, like somebody who is being cold and mean to everyone?
F: Ummm yeah some people for example like somebody who is complainin, somebody who bitches about things so..
K: Right, so I could say oh Steve is always bitchin about his wifi connection but he wont pay for a new one.
F: Yeah, exactly. Like he he complains not always for no reason, but he complains in an annoying way like in a way that people don't want to hear about it. right?
K: Right, like every day, in the morning, my wife she'll come up to me and start bitchin because I at her pizza that was in the fridge last night and she's really upset about it.
F: Really? So she bitches about it?
K: Yeah, she bitches about, yeah well I mean that's probably something that's justified if it was her pizza.
F: Yeah I guess
K: She could probably bitch about that
F: Well it depends who paid for it.
F: Sometimes you're entitled
K: Yeah thats a good point.
F: Yeah I guess, are there any other ways of using the word bitch other than for a person who complains or...
K:Well let's give another example, you give me an example of somebody who complains by using the word bitch. Like, maybe in your life who's somebody who's always bitching about friend.
F: Usually like my um female friends, they always they always complain about uh their boyfriends. Or I dunno they complain about like guys in general, like they met a guy on tinder and it didn't work out.
K: So they're bitching like, oh my god I went out with this guy last night and he's not returning my text and I thought
K: we were in love , what's happening
F: Uh yeah that's exactly it. They bitch about men, about men's behaviour or men not calling them. Stuff like that, that sucks.
F: Like I hate hearing about that shit.
K: Alright so we can use bitch to talk about people who are whinny or people who complain about things. right?
K: I guess that would be a good, not a synonym, but when you're bitching about something you're kinda whining about something right?
F: Yes, You're whining uh, you're it's like some sort of unwanted complain. That people around you don't want to hear. It's not a, it's not a complaint that's usually it's not a complain thats justified or in other peoples eyes it's not justified.
K: Yeah it's something you should handle yourself and not project all your negative energy onto other people right?
F: YEs, exactly, for example people who bitch on Facebook about their boyfriends or about their wives. Like if you want to talk to me about it you can just send me a message don't bitch about it on your wall on Facebook or something like that, I don't want to know.
K: Ok let's keep going to the last one we're going to do today. We said bitch is a cold unfriendly woman, bitching is to complain about stuff
K: lastly we can use also bitchin, to mean something just fucking cool right?
F: Yeah exactly that's completely the opposite, we talked about two negatives, it also has a positive meaning. Like when you're uh, when you want to say the word cool or awesome you say the word bitchin.
K: Ohhh like Frandy has a bitchin computer
F: Exactly, or like tomorrow we're going to the beach, cool bitchin! Bitchin were going to the bitch
K: We're going to the bitchin beach to find bitches
F: Exactly, I got confused with bitch, beach and yeah bitches. Yeah so that's true. Oh actually there's another, well yeah let's finish this one first.
K: Yeah let's stick with bitchin first uhh, like
F: Cause I just thought about one thing more.
K: My friend he got a car, he bought a second hand car and its looked like crap. But he put a lot of money into it, a nice paint job he got some rims, and now he has a bitchin car.
F: Yeah his car is bitchin, his car is cool, it's awesome, it's nice, it's really nice.
K: Yeah originally it was a piece of crap, but now it's bitchin.
K: Do you have any personal items that you think are bitchin, no?
F: Umm, hmmmm uhhhhh well at home I have a bitchin computer, uhh, well I don't want to brag, but I have a big iMac that's pretty new and stuff. To me it's a bitchin computer.
K: Right, yes.
F: But some people might bitch about it cause it's a mac and they like pc or whatever. I don't want to confuse you guys, haha,
K: Yeah or were going to get into the whole computer war right?
K: Alright cool, let's move on to the last thing, you said you just thought of it on the spot.
F: Yes, umm, that's more like, that's the only one I think is more derogative. Like people might see as an insult or as being offensive.
K: wait wait, i'm confused what are we talking about?
F: The word bitch
F: To refer to women in general, for example, rappers say there's a lot of bitches at the mall, let's go get some bitches.
K: Right but I think now, I think now it's becoming more acceptable you know like you can say..
F: Like in music, in music.
K: Like you can say my girlfriend is a sexy bitch right?
F: Yes, that's true
K: that's not negative
F: That's not negative, it depends on the context, but it depends, if its your girlfriend I guess people might accept it more because she's yours. your your your together
K: I don't own her but were together
F: Yeah you dont own her you didn't brand her like a cow, but she's your girlfriend
F: She might appreciate you calling her a sexy bitch right but if you called girlsbitches in general just to refer to a woman, that might be seen as offensive.
K: Right but you know sometimes people refer, like if I'm meeting the comics I'm going to run a show with later today, like before the show we all meet outside and I'm like what's up bitches
F: Yes, yes
K: Like I'm not putting them down. It's just another way to greet.. you have to be close to these people right
F: It's true. Yeah exactly it all depends on the context, its like the N word or whatever, but I mean were not gettin in to that, but I mean like um it could be used as a term of endearment to your friends or your girlfriend or like best friends.
F: But if you're talking in general like people that you don't know, do you see these bitches out there, they're so cute
F: If somebody overhears you that doesn't know you very well they might take it the wrong way.
F: But yeah you can use it as a term of endearment, to refer to friends, girlfriends, or best friends.
K: But if they take it the wrong way. They are taking it the wrong way cause you don't mean anything bad. You mean look at those cute girls.
F: Yeah but it might be misconstrued. But it's not a bad thing if you don't mean it in a bad way.
F: So I just wanted to put this in before we wrap things up guys, what Frandy said is completely true. When my wife and daughter came to Mongolia to Canada I actually made a sign, usually the sign people make at the airport for their loved ones "like welcome home John" but I wrote on my sign, I wrote "Sexy Mongolian Bitches"
K: And I went to the airport with it and it was fun
K: And it was fine, it was hilarious, people were looking and my mom is so old fashioned, she was ashamed of it.
K: She hid it and then my wife was like, where's that sign, I love it. I want the sign back.
F: Yeah she she found the sign bitchin.
K: Right, it was a bitchin sign. The bitchin sign was bitching because it was about sexy bitches.
K: referring to her
F: See and like his wife was ok with it.
F: Cause she knows him, she knows how he talks and stuff. Yeah but if it were me picking her up at the airport she maybe have been like what the fuck is wrong with this guy.
K: Yeah yeah, alright so let's wrap this up, today, the first thing we said was bitch, the more commonly known wor, which means,
F: Which means an unlikeable woman or a woman that is
F: unfriendly or cold
K: Secondly we talked about the activity of bitchin which is...
F: complainin, complaining, bitchin about things that are going wrong with your life or just complaining in a way that people don't want to hear you complain.
K: Right, the girls are always bitchin about the guys who don't call them back. Or vice versa.
F: Or vice versa. Guys are bitching about girls.
K: ok, then the last, oh we had three, we had two more, the third one was
K: Something was bitchin
F: Bitchin. Yeah and be careful with that word, it's not bitching, its bitchin, it ends with an N, its a slang word.
K: Like Frandy said he had an bitchin Imac at home.
F: Yeah, bitchin,
K: Or my friend, he renovated his, renovated, he suped up his car and now it's a bitchin car.
F: Yes, a bitchin car, yeah.
K: Alright, and the last one we used was bitches
F: yes, like as a term, to refer to people as women or friends. Best friends, girlfriends. So either in a derogatory way like talking about women and just refer to them as bitches. or calling your friend, hey my bitch, your my bitch, your my sexy bitches to refer to people that you care about.
F: As a term of endearment.
K: And you can do that as long as their your friends.
K: If you do it to a stranger:
K: You might get in trouble.
F: yes you might, you will get in trouble.
K: Alright, alright great well thanks Frandy for coming on here and helping us out.
F: no problem, whenever
K: Guys remember listen to the podcast a few time, write down everything, this is educational and fun, you'll get more out of it if you do. If you enjoyed it, rate it, review it on itunes, and we'll catch you next time
K: On the next podcast of Unnnnnnnnncensored english!
A new guest, John Rey, joins Keiran to discuss embarrassing stories and a few idioms.
*** Introduction ***
Alright so today on the podcast we have a new guest, he's never been on here before, he's UH he's a friend of mine, he's a comedian, he's an entrepreneur, he also does the 9 to 5. How's it going John Rey, how's it going man?
J: Hey Keiran I'm good man, thanks a lot man, how you doing?
K: I'm doing uh, I'm pretty tired but I'm doing good you know.
J: Ok, alright, I feel you.
K: So why don't you tell the people out there listening a little bit about yourself, you know, and what you're all about.
J: Yeah sure, well I've been doing uh comedy for almost a year now. Just started doing comedy fresh off of uh a divorce. Great timing to do that.
and started out, and also with my brother we started out our own uh t-shirt printing company.
K: nice cool man.
J: That's a few months in now so yeah I'm really enjoying that too I love it.
K: Do you guys have like a website up where they can see your stuff?
J: Right now it's a facebook page, it's uh Rey's Barber shop. Because my brother already have had his own barbershop in Montreal. So we work out of there. So yeah you could check it out there, thanks.
K: Alright so you guys are quite the entrepreneurial family then.
J: Uh a little bit, it's very recent, its very recent. He's had his shop for about a year now. And we just started this together so I guess it's a recent thing to try to be our own bosses. Eventually.
K: Right, well it's uh an ultimate goal, like noone wants to have someone else telling them what to do at the end of the day right.
J: THat's true, if I could live off just telling jokes and selling shirts that would be amazing.
K: Yeah that would be amazing. It's my ultimate goal to not have to not have other people managing your time you know.
K: Alright so today were just going to have a casual conversation between ourselves so people out there can just listen to two native English people just shooting the shit having some fun.
K: I thought we could just talk about some embarrassing moments in our lives.
K: You're up for that?
J: Yeah of course sounds good.
K: Alright I think I'll start the... I'll get the ball rolling
K: I was in uhhh university, it was 2006 I think. And I met this girl in a library and uh we went out on a date. And she was a few years younger than me, she as an American girl. And we went out to uh a Pub.
J: A few years younger, but still adult right?
K: Yeah yeah yeah, no.
K: Where Where is your mind going John where is
J: Nowhere just fun
K: No yeah she was 19 I was twenty... three or twenty two, it was uh it was a reasonable age difference. And we went out to a pub, we were having a great time, you know. We both had a few beers, we were getting a long, we were flirting, you know enjoying the night. And then we decided to leave the pub, and go back to my place. But then the bill came and I reached in my wallet to pay for the bill.. no I reached in my pocket to get my wallet.. and I realized I didn't have my wallet.
J: Wow you pulled a Kramer, that's amazing.
K: Yeah I pulled a Kramer. And the look on her face was just she was just blown away
K: I think she thought I was just cheap you know. I think she thought I was trying to pull a fast one on her.
J: I would assume that too, sure. Did you recuperate the situation like
K: Uhhh yeah I think you know the date had been going so well up to that point that that did not sink the boat.
J: Wow nice, that's powerful though
K: Yeah and by sink the boat I think just for the language learners out there I mean the huge mess up I did of forgeting my wallet did not destroy the chances of us continuing to have a good time right.
J: Wow so you stayed a float, basically.
K: Yeah exactly I stayed a float, the boat did not sink and I stayed afloat.
J: There you go
K: So what about you man have you had any embarrassing situations in your life that you
K: that you're willing to share with us?
J: Um man sure. Like once, this is really early, I was a little kid, like uh elementary school. And it was in, in the Winter. So of course super cold you know, back then you have the full suit, like the snowpants, winter jacket I was completely, I was a ninja basically. You know.
J: So I quickly get ready, half asleep. Go to school. And then I'm at my locker and I realize you know what I have on my snow pants but I didn't put on regular pants underneath.
J: I just had snowpants and underwear.
K: Oh that's hilarious.
J: it's not a great move.
K: That's hilarious.
J: Yeah. So um my memory of the rest of the day isn't that great. It's almost like I was in shock when I realized that and the rest is pretty.. shady. I'm not sure if my mom came and bring *brought me pants. Or if I just stayed sweating all day in my snow pants.
J: but no, not the not the greatest thing.
K: That's a really funny, that's a really funny thing to forget.
K: That's like the whole nightmare people always have where they wake up, they go around town like naked and then they just realize it when they're in town that they're naked. They just want to hide themselves because they're embarrassed.
J: Nah It was weird, like as as a kid I was uh pretty, a little bit of a daredevil. So I probably had like, I've knocked myself unconscious like a few times. Like one of these I was in a park. You know in the jungle gym there's the slide right?
J: So you climb up the ladder of the slide. And your about to go, but instead of sliding properly like a normal child I fell backwards and off the slide and hit my head on the on the ladder. So I opened up my forehead.
K: wait wait wait wait, you climbed up the ladder of the slide and then instead of going down the slide you fell backwards like off the ladder?
J: Exactly. So I'm at the top of the slide, about to slide, but I fall backwards off the ladder and basically hit head first and then pass out on the floor. And then wake up to little children around me, well I was a little child too but whatever. So um and a pool of blood next to my head. And plus I have an older sister who is like 7 years older, so my my parents weren't and my sister was supposed to watch me that day at the park. So she felt like shit... of course
K: yeah right.
J: And uh so then I went to get stitches, and the best part for me was getting stitches. Cause the stitches were on my forehead, and you see the needle coming at your face, real slow. That was, that was amazing. Man that was sweet.
K:How, how old were you when that happened?
J: I must have been like 6.
K: Oh wow, ok.
J: The great part of that was my sister like ran out and threw up. That's like the funniest part for me
K: So you like to see your sister in a little bit of pain
K: Ok you said you were a daredevil when you were younger, what do you mean by a daredevil, some English language learners might not really know what that means
J: Oh yeah a daredevil is someone who uh takes risks, it's more like physical feats. Like I'd say these days i'd say a daredevil is someone who rides a motorcycle and jumps over 8 cars with it.
K: right, right.
J: I wasn't that high level, I only had rollerblades as a kid.
K: yeah you jumped over like pepsi cans or
J: There you go, or for example hold the back of my friends bicycle as I'm on my rollerblades. You know and he goes full speed. And I asked him to slow down on the curb, but he goes faster. So then I just let go and am going really fast. Luckily I didn't smash anything.
K: well thank god for that, but maybe that whole incident with you falling off hte back of the slide, maybe that's why your so funny now, you got a little uh brain damage that damaged the sensible part of your brain and you can have crazy thoughts
J: maybe, and I still have the scar so every day I'll be like thanks. Yeah its cool
K: No cause I think a lot of, you hear stories about a lot of comedians that sustain some kind of like head trauma and then they become hilarious people like Sam Kinison.
J: True I heard that
K He got like hit by a car, one time I was in the washroom, and my mom she just like spun around really quickly and like smacked me in the nose. And it was like bleeding profusely. Like it was an accident
J: Oh ok she was just spinning?
K: Like I just said mom,
J: Wow ok,
K: and she backhanded me or something. And I don't have a sense of smell now and I wonder if that was the day where
J: Wow, everything unlocked.
K: yeah everything unlocked
J: IT's like your one of the X-men, and that was your moment.
K: Yeah exactly. It's my super power
J: It's the origin story
K: Yeah well john were going to wrap this up. Cause I'm going to be typing every single word you said later
K: But thanks for coming on the podcast and sharing that embarassing story and that ineresting story of you falling off the slide.
J: My pleasure, thanks for having man Keiran it's cool
K: Yeah no worries and we'll catch you guys next time on the next podcast of unnnnnncensored english.
Learn how to decline invitations politely, as a diplomat, and honestly as someone who is not concerned with others approval.
*** No Transcript for this podcast***