Uncensored English

Looking for a different angle on English language podcasts? Keiran the crazy Canadian goes where the other English podcasts don't... and more. Keiran and his native English guests discuss politically incorrect subjects as well as general English language, idioms, expressions, culture and more all while having natural unscripted conversations. This podcasts feature an educational exploration of language ranging from every day expressions, pop culture expressions, explicit language and anything in between. The podcast is geared towards adults students, professionals, university students as well as ESL teachers who want to step out of the "Safe Space" of the English language education community and have a little more fun. Join Keiran and his guests in their down to earth humorous conversations and learn to speak a more universal edgy form of English like a native! English ISN'T always PC!!!
RSS Feed Subscribe in iTunes
Uncensored English



All Episodes
Now displaying: May, 2016
May 30, 2016

In this Podcast Keiran's talks about his week, pinatas, and whether pinatas are meant for kids or adults.


Whats up everybody this is Keiran the crazy Canadian, and welcome to another podcast of unnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnncensored English! Where we talk about whatever the hell

We want to talk about. So good morning, good afternoon, good evening, goodnight, to however you are wherever you are, and thank you for joining us.

So it’s 11:07 on Sunday night in Montreal, I hope you guys are doing well  and that you had a good weekend. Teaching wise my week was great, I had a few new students, great classes with my regular students. Comedy wise my weekend was a bit rough. I did two shows this week, I did a Wednesday show and a Sunday show. The Wednesday show was tough because there was only 4 audience members and the comic who went on before was more of a professional comic, he’s about 6 years in. He had a fantastic set. Then I went on after him, and I didn’t do as well as he did, nor nearly as close to as well as he did. I tested out a new punch line, it worked, so I was happy about that. For the rest of it it felt like I bombed, so I didn’t do very well. I just did a set tonight, Sunday night, at Macleans open mic downtown. And I was the bullet. The bullet means I was the first comic to go up besides from the host. And the host’s job in comedy is really to warm up in the crowd and keep the show rolling. And the comic who warmed up the crowd I mean he’s a good comic, he’s pretty solid but he did like 3 or 4 minutes it’s not enough time to warm up the crowd. So I felt like I got on to a pretty cold audience. And pretty much the first half of my set no one laughed. That’s not a good feeling.  I plowed through, I got em at the end. But again it wasn’t a great set. And asides from that I had a great weekend, I went to a birthday party. I also watched a new tv series called Preacher, first episode, if you guys like walking dead I think you’re going to like Preacher. Both of them are spinoffs of a comic book, means they are created from loosely from the comic book. It’s pretty violent, a lot of bad language, it’s funny though too, it’s really funny. It’s kinda like walking dead but they make it more comical. So check that out if you want to watch a new tv show, it’s called Preacher it’s on AMC. And yeah I went to a birthday party this weekend, it was my friends birthday he was turning 33. And the year before I went to the same friends birthday and he had a dinosaur pianata. Yeah that’s right we did a dinosaur piñata. And I saw that while I was at the party and I was like this is just silly. We’re all in our thirties and were hitting a piñata.  Then the thing cracks open and we all got some candy and I thought this is so dumb this is for kids.

Last week I went to another party for my daughter, it wasn’t my daughters party, she’s three and half. The girl who’s party it was was six years old, she was turning six.. and they had a piñata. And I saw the piñata, and I remembered the party I went to a year before and I thought now this is where a piñata should be. For kids right. That’s what I thought. Wow was I wrong! Man was I wrong! Kids who are six years old should not be playing with a piñata. When the thing cracked open all the kids went nuts! They turned into animals, they were pushing each other out of the way. Everyone was screaming, and even before that happened it was still a mess. They made a line, so every kid could get in line. And everyone got a turn to hit the piñata, and the birthday girl went first. And she’s hitting it, and she gets a few whacks in, she doesn’t hit it very well. And her mom says ok, ok now, it’s the next person in lines turn. And then she just started balling her eyes out, “but it’s my birthday I want to hit the piñata, it’s not fair!”

And her mom’s like “but sweety everyone is going to get to hit”

“But I’m the one whose birthday it is, why can’t I hit it”

So bawling her eyes out, she was crying, a lot. When you’re bawling your eyes out you’re crying a lot. So then the next boy got to hit it, and there was this other boy, I saw him on the side, he was like this fat kid, and he didn’t care about hitting the piñata, he was just waiting for that thing to crack open cause he knew what was inside. But anyways all the kids got to hit it once, and a few of them got to hit it twice and then finally one of the kids cracked it open, one little boy cracked open the piñata, candy spilled out the kids went nuts, pushing each other, and the fat kid he got a ton of candy. And then the birthday girl was bawling her eyes out again, “I didn’t get enough candy, that boy got more candy then me” then five or six other kids were like “ wahhhhhhh I didn’t get candyyyy”

My daughter only got one thing, it’s actually cause I got it for her.

But they were all bawling their eyes out man. Five or six year old kids are not ready for piñatas. It takes some self-control and the ability to share I guess. So try that out guys, bawling your eyes out. I’ll give you one more example.

“Oh my God did you hear about Jennifer last week?

“No why, what happened to Jennifer?”

“She was walking in the street, and she was looking into a restaurant and she saw her husband kissing another women”

“Oh wow, that’s messed up”

“I know she called me at night and she was bawling her eyes out the whole time, she couldn’t stop crying about it you know, it’s so unfair, she’s such a good woman.

“Yeah I know, I know what you mean” She was bawling her eyes out. Crying uncontrollably. So you know try that, next time your speaking with someone or next time your telling a story. Bawling your eyes out, it’s a fun way to say someone is crying a lot. So I wanted to make a little announcement to my students out there, to my regular students. I officially finished video podcast #8. So if you’re ready for another one let me know. To the itunes listeners I make a video podcast for my committed students, every two weeks or so. Two or three weeks and I officially opened a YouTube channel to promote the uncensored English podcast and I’m going to put up the first three video podcasts. I’m not going to put up more than three, cause it’s something I really do for my committed students who pay for my lessons. You know to show them I’m grateful to them. But check out those three podcasts up there, there really good learning tools, they got good expressions on them and the stories are fun and interesting and let me know what you think. I’m going to wrap up this podcast, it’s pretty late and I got 7 hours of classes tomorrow. But we got some great guests coming on later in the week. On Wednesday I’m doing another podcast with Gabriel and John Rey. Then a week after that I have a podcast with an artist from Montreal named Hannah. And were also going to be doing a podcast with a podcaster from Australia, he’s going to be talking about Australian English, maybe were going to compare Canadian and Australian English. Alright guys so listen to that podcast one more time, write down the expression, try using it in speech with someone you know or with your teacher. Remember rate or review the podcast if you’ve enjoyed it, help us out a little bit. And I’ll catch you next time on the next episode of unnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnncensored English!

May 27, 2016

Spring is here and love is in the air. Join Keiran and Sabrina as they discuss common expressions related to romance.


K: What’s up everybody this Keiran the crazy Canadian and welcome to another podcast of unnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnncensored English! Where we talk about whatever the hell we want to talk about.  So good morning, good afternoon, good evening, goodnight, to however you are wherever you are, and thank you for joining us. So today, this is officially going to be the first podcast that were recording that will have a transcript. So look out for that in the podcast description. Let’s not waste any time let’s welcome our guest back on here, let’s welcome back to the show Sabrina Rose. Alright whats up Sabrina thanks so much for coming back on.

S: Hey Keiran, it’s great to be back here and with you, how you doing today?

K: I’m doing good I’m doing good how about you?

S: Great, I’m feeling good today.                                     

K: Great, how’s the weather over there today?

S: It’s really nice here today, it’s not so hot, I live in Mexico sooo we get some really hot days right around Spring, Summertime.

K: Yeah today is just the most beautiful day here, you don’t have to have a sweatshirt on, it’s got a little cool breeze, it’s the perfect Spring day.

S: Oh yeah, they say that love is born in Spring and Summer.

K: Yeah! Exactly, exactly. No I had a funny thing happen, this is going to sound a little bit mean but I was walking downtown in Montreal the other day and I went by this girl who was an ex-girlfriend of mine in high school. And it was my first major heartbreak. We had been dating 8 months, and then she broke up with me before the prom. But then I saw her downtown and she didn’t look as good as she used to.

S: Ohhhhh no!

K: I felt like a dodged a bullet you know.

S: Ohhhhhhh, ohhhhhhh. That’s a good idiom there, dodged a bullet.

K: Yeah dodged a bullet, yeah what does dodged a bullet mean?

S: So right, so if someone has a gun and poooh they’re shooting the gun, and the bullet comes out, you want to do in the Matrix and wooooo move away, move out of the way of the bullet, or dodge it. You want to get out of the way of that danger.

K: Yeah and in this sense I’m dodging the bullet because she , it’s kinda mean to say she didn’t look as good as she used to… but I guess some people at a certain point of their lives they stop taking care of themselves and they put on a lot of weight and I dunno….  I’m not attracted to that I guess.

S: Yeah you never know what’s happened to her in her life huh?

K: Yeah it’s true you never know, maybe there was some tragedy… but let’s get back, let’s get back to love right.

S: Yeah love.. ok.

K: So when you think about romance or you think about love are there any common expressions that you’ve used in your life or that you hear often?

S: Oh I have a good one for new love.

K: Ok what is it?

S: Soooo this is something that parents say to kids when they’re in high school or younger, you know um, they say, “ohhhhh it’s just puppy love, it won’t last, make sure to date other people and see other people”. Cause your young and you have to make sure to … talk to a lot of people.

K: that’s uh that’s uh maybe the first or second time you fall for someone is that what you mean?

S: Yeah, like maybe even between younger kids, like 10 years old. You can say “ohhhh it’s so cute, it’s puppy love”.

K: Yeah like when you see those little kindergarteners holding hands and walking in school together.

S: Awwwwwww yess

K: I remember….   This is about the same girl who I just talked about, but when I was in high school, I would take the city bus home from high school. And sometimes I would miss the bus and then I would take the later bus and it would be filled with girls from the private high school.

S: Uh –huh

K: And this is actually how I met my … that same girl, and I remember everytime I would go on that bus my heart would skip a beat because there would be all these beautiful girls on this bus.

S: Ohhhh that’s a good one too, skip a beat.

K: Yeah what do we mean when we say my heart skipped a beat?

S: Yeah so that’s a really great feeling. The same thing happened to me when I first met my husband, just seeing him. Maybe now it’s like ohhh I see him every day.. but at the beginning I would see him and my heart would just stop for a second… and then start beating again.

K: Right

S: You hold your breath in and your heart just *huh* for a second, so it skips the beat. So your heart like *beat* beat* huh… *beat.beat.beat*

K: Right you see a person and you just freeze for a second and you’re like oh my god that person is just like they captivate you or we could also say they take your breath away right?

S: Oh that’s a good one too, yeah.

K: So that happened to you, when was the first time you met your husband or you saw him?

S: Ummmmm about five or six years ago. Yeah but the first time we met each other he was with someone else and I was with someone else and we were introduced kinda as friends


S: But then later we started to be more than just friends.

K: haha right

S: And then that’s when he started to take my breath away.

K: Right, ok ok, great.

S: So I think that’s related to your heart skipping a beat, you just can’t breath for a second.

K: Yeah, maybe your waiting for the call or your just excited for the next date or something like that right?

S: Yup

K: I remember when I met my wife, I was out in Korea, I was teaching in Korea and I went out with a friend. And I saw her at a bar. And I just kept looking at her cause I thought she was beautiful. And then… after we spoke later and her friend had seen me looking at her, and my wife didn’t see me looking at her, like my wife didn’t see me. But her friend had seen me looking at her and her friend went up to her and said “hey you know this guy is staring at you”.

S: Yeah

K: Cause when I saw her she just took my breath away I was like oh my god I have to go talk to her.

S: Yup yup, and then there’s another related expression, her friend could’ve said “Hey I think that guy has the hots for you.

K: Yeah, well I definitely did, and what does that mean have the hots for you?

S: Have the hots for you, you’re going to make me explain this one

K: Yeah

S: Haha, haha Ok so when you really like someone, and this is more like sexual excitation, I don’t know if that’s the right stress on that word. But anyways you get like hot, like hot and bothered it’s this like  feeling of really wanting someone say he has the hots for her, or I have the hots for him.

K: and it’s appropriate for this situation cause we’re in a bar

S: hahahahah

K: and a lot of the time that’s when you get the hots for someone. Cause people go out they make themselves look their best right.

S: yeah, yeah that’s a point.

K: It’s a common place to get the hots for someone.

S: Yeah


S: I have another phrase here that’s similar. This is more British English, they say something like “Hey I think that guy really fancies you”

K: Yeah I can’t say I hear that around hear, it does sound like British English.

S: Yeah we don’t really use that in the US, but it’s very very common in England… and Australia too. We’ll have to find an Australian and ask them

K: Yeah we’ll check that one. You know sometimes when you go out and you meet someone for the first time, or you’re at a party and your talking to someone you don’t know. Sometimes you get nervous, and you kinda stumble on your words.

S: Yeah that’s happened to me.

K: Do you know what the expression for that is, when you’re talking to someone you kinda have a crush on or you have the hots for but you can’t express yourself properly.

S: Ummmm I would say something like your tripping over your words.

K: Right, tripping over your words. I was going to say you could say your tongue tied.

S: Oh tongue tied, that’s a good one. But tripping over your words that’s an idiom too cause your not literally tripping and falling.  But is sure feels like it.

K: Yeah or maybe your tongues almost tripping it’s not getting the words out properly right.

S: Right right.

K: Right. Let’s see do we have another one before we wrap this one up

S: Oh I have one, I have one for the end of a relationship.

K: Ok what is it?

S: So, well it might not be the end of the relationship, but not, I would say every relationship after a certain amount of time is not always perfect. And things can go bad and you can say our relationship is on the rocks.

K: mmmmm yeah. And when we say the relationship is on the rocks we’re kind of umm.. alluding to what? That’s it’s going to end soon?

S: Well it could end soon if you don’t put in a lot of effort into making it better.

K: When I hear that one I kind of imagine like a boat, by the shore line.

S: Mmmm yeah, getting to close to the shore and then crashing into the rocks.

K: Yeah hitting the rocks… and then the relationships is over right?


S: The trip is over.

K: Yeah that’s the end of the fun I guess when the boat this the rocks.

S: We crashed and burned.

K: Fortunately though I haven’t had that experience lately… I dunno if I’ve ever said that…. my relationship is on the rocks. That’s a good thing though.

S: Yeah that’s a good thing. Yeah you don’t want your relationship to be on the rocks.

K: Yeah especially when you have kids.

S: No no, and especially if you still want to be with that person. You want things to be like smooth sailing.

K: Ok I got one more, let’s do one more and then let’s wrap it up here. Sometimes maybe you go out with your girlfriends or I’m out with my friends and you hear someone say “I met this new girl or guy and I’m head over heels in love with him”

S: Ohhh that’s a good one.

K: yeah head over heels.

S: Yeah I like that one, so when you’re really in love with someone.

K: You can’t stop thinking of someone, everything you see reminds you of them.

S: Where does that expression come from, why do we say that? Head over heels?

K: Head over heels, well.. I think we’re going down the dirty road again.

S: OH no! I wasn’t thinking that.

K: That’s what I think about

S: Oh man!

K: When you’re head of heels in love … maybe that’s when your heels over head I dunno.

S: It’s just I dunno like. Like Alice in Wonderland, like everything is upside down, everything is turned around, everything is new and fresh and exciting.

K: Right, or maybe it’s that your so in love with someone it’s like you can’t think straight.

S: Mmmmm yeah, so your head is where your feet are, your feet are where you head are * is

K: Yeah, exactly.

S: Where your head are

K: Where you head is right.


S: See even native speakers make mistakes

K: Yeah, that’s a huge thing. You know when I’m teaching my students I tell them make as many mistakes, don’t feel bad about the mistakes because even if you listen to these English podcasts every once in a while you hear the podcast host just flub their word….. everybody gets tongue tied right?

S: Tongue tied, yup, everyone gets tongue tied once in a while.

K: Ok, so Sabrina thanks so much for helping us again with these idioms and expressions.

S: Yeah great to be here again with you Keiran.

K: Alright you have a good one and we’ll talk soon.

S: Alright bye,

K: Ciao

K: Alright guys that’s the end of the podcast on romance related expressions.  I’m not going to review them this time. You listen to the podcast again 2 or 3 more times. It will help you retain what you’ve learned. And remember if you’ve found this useful, if you’ve enjoyed the podcast. Then subscribe to us on Itunes and rate it. Rating it really helps us more up in the rankings. And we’ll catch you next time, on the next episode of UNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNCENSORED ENGLISH!

May 25, 2016

Keiran shares a great tip for taking the pressure off yourself when you're in a group conversation. Also we discuss several ways to use the idiom "get the ball rolling".

May 22, 2016

Sometimes at social gatherings you're involved in a group conversation where it's awkward to suddenly leave. Edward joins Keiran as they discuss how to exit a group conversation. 

May 18, 2016

The story telling challenge has finally arrived! Here's what you need to do, listen to the podcast a maximum of three times, record yourself re-telling the story... be sure to use the target vocabulary. Then email it in to and you could win a free conversation with Keiran and another native English speaker.

May 15, 2016

Live from Keiran's bed it's another episode of Uncensored English Podcast! This time Keiran discusses sucks ups. What are they, what do they do and why? Are you a suck up? Of course we discuss other expressions to describe them.

May 12, 2016

There's always multiple ways to do anything, on this podcast we hear from Sabrina Rose a professional English teacher from Italki. We discuss how Sabrina uses mindfulness and meditation with her students to help them progress.

May 8, 2016

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh a late night podcast! After a disappointing comedy performance we look at a few expressions and Keiran discusses his life focuses and a dangerous trap.

May 6, 2016

Sometimes in life we feel overwhelmed, we feel stressed, people ask us to do too much and we need to defend our boundaries. In this episode Gabriel joins us to talk about different expressions you can use to defend your boundaries when you've reached your breaking point. We also discuss the story telling challenge that's coming up.

May 3, 2016

We discuss the story telling challenge, Keiran shares some livecomedy, and we learn a handful of expressions that are relevant fordiscussing success or failure in relation to an exam orperformance.